Chapter 13: Awakenings

They saw no point in leaving when the hour was getting late. This was where they wanted to be. Sandy never asked Ike to stay, he simply did not leave. After a while they both fell asleep.
Sandy woke up by Ike moving around. When she opened her eyes the sun blinded her and she quickly closed them again. She didn't want him to leave, but knew that he, unlike her, had to start working early. Slowly, she let her eyes get used to the sun so that she could see him.
He stood by the window, getting dressed, and she drank his every movement with her eyes. Somehow he sensed that she was looking at him, and he turned around.
I was just admiring the view, she said with a smile. Did you know that you have a very cute backside?
He grinned and shook his head. I'm the only person in this world who may never see that backside, no matter how cute it is.
I figured if you'd admired it in a mirror or something, she said.
She sat up in the bed and he, now fully dressed, seated himself next to her. A brief kiss was shared, and her hand struck his head lovingly.
You've got a beautiful head, she said when she got her lips to herself. Why do you hide it under that bandanna? Not that it's not pretty, but well, you're prettier without it.
People don't tend to think so.
Well, they're silly then. You have an advantage, I think, in showing an example of perfection most people hide. She leant her face in her hands that were resting on her knees. You never think about how beautiful people really are unless you're in love. Well, there's babies, obviously. I remember counting Manolo's fingernails: it was so fantastic to me that they were all there. Of course, Nita notices everything. She's probably a changeling or something. She laughed. You know, just because people are big-mouthed and mean it doesn't mean they're right. What's the big deal, in thirty or forty years you would have lost your hair anyway. And they say bald men are very viril.
He raised an eyebrow.
Who says that?
Lots of people. I heard it from Lena, my roommate, though. She's completely promiscuous, so she ought to know.
I thought you liked your roommate.
I love her, she said simply. That's why I can call her promiscuous. I'm willing to defend her honour against any stranger who tries to do likewise. Of course, they tend to use stronger words.
He lay down, watching her.
Interesting.
What is?
You're as spiny as a hedgehog, but I believe that there's a heart of gold under it.
Naa, I'm mean through and through, she answered and kissed him. Go on now, you'll be late for work.
She pushed him out of the bed and watched him leave with a sadness that couldn't drown her joy of having him at all.

To Ike, it felt like just a day or two later (even though it was closer to a week and a half) that they beat the last spikes into the Girón house.
We're almost ready to move in! said mrs. Girón happily.
Ike felt a sudden pain at the thought. It struck him that he did not want to leave.
But what about furniture? he asked.
While translating, Buck gave him a suspicious glance, guessing his motives. Mrs. Girón, on the other hand, revealed no knowledge of Ike's affairs of the heart.
Don't worry, she said. We have a few things ready, and the rest we can arrange for ourselves. There's really no need to keep you here.
This was true, from a certain point of view. From another, it wasn't true at all.
None of the Fernandez showed any surprise when the riders declared that they would be leaving the next day.
It's a good thing I have finished my statuette of Lou, Nita said. I burnt it this morning, I can get it right now.
She went off for a few minutes and returned with a tiny little bust of the female rider, not so much a portrait as a caricature.
Here you go, she said, dropping the little thing in Lou's hand. The others gathered to look at it.
That's really cute! Sandy said. Then she turned to Ike, and her voice was low and solemn as she said: I would have wanted to sculpt you, but I have tried and I just can't do it.
He wanted to take her in his arms, right then and there, but there were too many people around them.
I'm sorry about this he signed to her.
She looked at him without understanding.
About what?
Leaving.
I always knew you would, she said. Even though she seemed very calm, she couldn't help throwing her arms around him. To hell with what everyone thought. You don't have to apologize. You have given me beautiful memories and I'll cherish them forever. She gave him a smile full of mischief and whispered: But I could suggest better ways of saying good-bye.
He returned her smile. Buck would get the room for himself this last night as well.
A thoughful frown was shown upon her face when he left her company. It occurred to her that memories might not be the only thing he had given to her. But if that was true, so much the better.

The riders managed to departure with dry eyes, even if it was a mystery to them how they did it. As always when a trip is over, their minds lightened when they came closer to home and recalled that they weere soon to meet their family there. Still, they already missed their new friends.
I would like to go back some time, Lou suddenly said on the last day of riding. She touched the little bust that she kept in her pocket and smiled to herself. This trip really had been nothing like she expected it to be.
Ike hurried his horse at her words. A part of him wanted to turn it around right then and there, but he wouldn't let himself do it. He tried to abolish Sandy from his memory, and with her all the things that belonged to her: her family, her home, even the horrid days in captivity when they had sought comfort with each other. Instead, he concentrated on Emily, and he found himself longing after her. He recalled the time when they had first met, and he knew that he still loved her, that he would always love her. But he also knew, even if it was easier to deny it, that they never could return to those times.
The first sight of the Rock Creek station made them speed things up without even thinking. After a months departure, they were finally back home. It wasn't really until then that the place became quite real to them, and when they rode closer they looked around. Things had changed somehow, even if they couldn't say how.
Lou saw Noah stepping out on the porch, and she could have sworn she heard him yell Riders coming! even though she knew it wasn't possible from that range. Her horse wanted to go home as much as she did, and stretched out in a happy gallop. As soon as she reached the station she slided down from the horse's back and gave Noah a spontaneous hug.
It's so good to be home! she said. In the corner of her eye she saw Kid coming out of the barn. She waited for him to come for her, but when he didn't she turned around and looked at him. His face was hesitant, and she remembered the mood in which she had left. Things had changed for her, but he didn't know that. She motioned for him to get closer, and he obeyed her with a grin on his face.
I've missed you so much, Kid said, getting a tight hold on her.
Same here, she answered. I'm really sorry we had that stupid fight. I forgive you.
You forgive me?
She laughed at his mock indignation and placed a kiss on his lips to soothe him.
The boys had gotten of their horses as well by now and happily greeted their friends. Teaspoon shook his head as he cheerfully thumped his riders on their backs.
Now, I thought I'd get you boys out of harm's way for a while, but I guess it's simply not done. I'm proud of you for hanging around to finish your job, though.
No kidnapping can stop us! Lou answered with a grin.
Teaspoon turned to Ike. Are you okay? Emily has been furious on me for the past few weeks. She says I shouldn't have let you go.
Ike looked nervously at the others. For a second he thought that they had told to much in their letters home. He realised his mistake when Teaspoon said:
So how is your side doing? I hope all this trouble didn't make it worse.
No, I'm fine he signed, relieved. I don't feel a thing anymore. Stronger than ever!
Well, that's a good thing, Teaspoon said. Now, if you get yourself washed up, I believe Rachel will be ready to serve you a delightful dinner.

Ike's first feeling when he saw Emily's familiar feauteres was a great joy. Then shame rose inside him that he could rejoice in any other woman than the one he had been sharing his bed with for the past two weeks. But what was he thinking? This was his Emily, the girl he loved and was practically engaged to. If he was to be ashamed of anything, it was Sandy. Emotions tumbled inside and he had no idea what to do when she came nearer. This was the girl he loved. Sandy was the girl he loved. Buck had never actually answered him when he asked if you could love two girls at once. It seemed you could. Ike wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and smiled at Emily.
Hi handsome, she said and smiled back. She took the last couple of steps to him and laid her arms around his waist. I've missed you.
He hugged her gently and knew that he had missed her too. He was happy to be back with her, but he felt an insufferable pain knowing that he must try to forget the other side of the story.
I've missed you too he signed, taking a step backwards so that she could see his hands. The very next second he regretted letting her go. He didn't want to seem aloof. Then again, why would he? Every time he wanted to talk to someone he had to make a distance so the person could see his signs. It was just that he couldn't recall ever doing that to Sandy. Maybe he had done it and forgotten about it, but right now all he could remember was her characteristic habit of leaning the back of her head to his chest so that he could hold her and at the same time sign to her with his hands around her waist.
Emily never did that. He didn't want her to, either. The last thing he wanted right now would be for Emily to do things that would remind him of Sandy. The two girls couldn't have been more different - and thank God for that! What he needed to do now was to clear his memory of anything reminiscent of Sandy.
Ike, what's wrong? Emily looked frowning at him and he smiled at her.
Nothing. My mind just wandered off.
He struck her beautiful sunburnt face lightly with his fingertips. A month ago she had been everything he ever wanted. He would make sure they returned to that once again.