Disclaimer: Not MMMMMIIIIINNNNEEEE
I hate it here. There are so many things that make me wish I was back on my home world, Tophet.
The cold is one of the first things. Even in the blasted powersuit, the cold still goes strait through to my bones. It seems that I'm always cold; for T'Phetti, this is unbearable.
Another thing is my commanding officer. He hates me, I'm sure of it.
I had no idea until I heard one of the others say that his son was killed in the Tophet campaign.
That was not my people's fault...we were under the influence of the bugs, and nothing we did was our own actions.
But then there are other things, like the rest of my squad, who keep me from falling into depression. They treat me like one of them, like a brother. But there is one I care about more than anything else. I cannot pronounce her name, for it is very difficult.
She is human, and a private, like me. I love how she looks strait into my eyes when she's talking to me, or anyone else. She is always the first one to defend me when my commanding officer curses me, and when people laugh at my bad English.
I love her.
That is the only thing I can say which describes how I feel. But she could never love me in return, and I know it. There are so many barriers; how do I know if humans even feel love? Is what they call love different to our own love? We do not even breathe the same kind of air...humans probably even make love differently, but I have no idea.
There is also another thing, or person in the way. The psychic in our squad also has feelings for her. And he loves to torment me, to touch her skin when I cannot, to run a hand through her hair every morning, when I would give so much to do it once.
But he is not malicious enough to tell anyone else about it. He and T'Phai are the only ones who know. T'Phai was my commanding officer in the military, before the bug invasion. He knows me to well, and he noticed that I had feelings for her long before anyone else did.
"It is not natural," he told me, "Our people and hers would never accept your love, even if you could breathe the same air."
"It is just a harmless infatuation," I told him.
"Well, you are still young." T'Phai said.
But is something much more than that, and we both know it. My heart has been lost, I can never choose a mate now. My family will probably disown me, for the dishonor.
My life has been ruined by this love, but I cannot bring myself to hate her for it.
I love her. And that is simple enough.
I hate it here. There are so many things that make me wish I was back on my home world, Tophet.
The cold is one of the first things. Even in the blasted powersuit, the cold still goes strait through to my bones. It seems that I'm always cold; for T'Phetti, this is unbearable.
Another thing is my commanding officer. He hates me, I'm sure of it.
I had no idea until I heard one of the others say that his son was killed in the Tophet campaign.
That was not my people's fault...we were under the influence of the bugs, and nothing we did was our own actions.
But then there are other things, like the rest of my squad, who keep me from falling into depression. They treat me like one of them, like a brother. But there is one I care about more than anything else. I cannot pronounce her name, for it is very difficult.
She is human, and a private, like me. I love how she looks strait into my eyes when she's talking to me, or anyone else. She is always the first one to defend me when my commanding officer curses me, and when people laugh at my bad English.
I love her.
That is the only thing I can say which describes how I feel. But she could never love me in return, and I know it. There are so many barriers; how do I know if humans even feel love? Is what they call love different to our own love? We do not even breathe the same kind of air...humans probably even make love differently, but I have no idea.
There is also another thing, or person in the way. The psychic in our squad also has feelings for her. And he loves to torment me, to touch her skin when I cannot, to run a hand through her hair every morning, when I would give so much to do it once.
But he is not malicious enough to tell anyone else about it. He and T'Phai are the only ones who know. T'Phai was my commanding officer in the military, before the bug invasion. He knows me to well, and he noticed that I had feelings for her long before anyone else did.
"It is not natural," he told me, "Our people and hers would never accept your love, even if you could breathe the same air."
"It is just a harmless infatuation," I told him.
"Well, you are still young." T'Phai said.
But is something much more than that, and we both know it. My heart has been lost, I can never choose a mate now. My family will probably disown me, for the dishonor.
My life has been ruined by this love, but I cannot bring myself to hate her for it.
I love her. And that is simple enough.