1 Chapter Six: Receive the gifts
It took a few hours before Gandalf awoke; he was still crying over his beheaded teddy bear. Legolas and the others were already awake.
Legolas was staring at his new crossbow and Sam was so delighted at the sight of the tiny bottle Santa had left him. Gandalf didn't receive a reply from Santa but his present was there. "Oohhhh!" He squealed. "A cute cuddly old teddy bear!" He cautiously began to suck the Teddy bear's head, slow and gentle at first, checking if it was really suck-proof then, Gandalf turned abusive.
Boromir seemed jealous but insisted that Santa was a tyrant and that he hated him. Aragorn had gotten a letter from Santa and he began reading it:
Dear Aragorn,
Here are my answers. Please do not ask me silly questions again.
My real name is a well-known kept secret.
I live in the North Pole
I have no telephone number you dumb ass
I don't have kids
My sleigh is not a car and it doesn't have a license plate
Again, my sleigh is not a car and I use reindeers to power the sleigh
My birthday is entirely a secret
Red and white obviously are my favorite colors
How did I get so fat? That is a question that has baffled scientists for thousands of years. Don't ask me that again you bastard
Must I politely ring the doorbell and wake you? Of course not! That's why I must come down through the chimney you consummate idiot!
Sincerely Yours,
Santa
All of them were enjoying but then without warning, a black object swooped in. "AAHH!" said Boromir. "What the heck is that?"
It flew above Boromir and nested on Gandalf's head. "AAUUGGGHHHH!" He screamed like a sissy little girl. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! AUUUGGGHHH!"
Legolas got out an arrow and decided to test his new bow. After taking aim, he fired his arrow. Thwang. There was a sound of the arrow hitting something large then suddenly, Gandalf screamed. "MY BUTT! SOMETHING BIT MY BUTT!"
Legolas smiled weakly as the black object which seemed to be an owl flew out the window. Apparently, it was scared by Gandalf's screams. Legolas wondered what could have caused the malfunction of his shot as Boromir tried to remove the arrow from Gandalf's ancient shiny butt. It was then that Legolas noticed that there was a letter under the Christmas tree. He picked it up and read it.
Dear Legolas,
I'm sorry but I cannot get what you have asked for. I will however, try to get it next year but be content with this crossbow. Take note that it is only of cheap imitation quality.
Very yours truly,
Santa
Legolas looked at his bow and began to weep bitterly.
It took a few hours before Gandalf awoke; he was still crying over his beheaded teddy bear. Legolas and the others were already awake.
Legolas was staring at his new crossbow and Sam was so delighted at the sight of the tiny bottle Santa had left him. Gandalf didn't receive a reply from Santa but his present was there. "Oohhhh!" He squealed. "A cute cuddly old teddy bear!" He cautiously began to suck the Teddy bear's head, slow and gentle at first, checking if it was really suck-proof then, Gandalf turned abusive.
Boromir seemed jealous but insisted that Santa was a tyrant and that he hated him. Aragorn had gotten a letter from Santa and he began reading it:
Dear Aragorn,
Here are my answers. Please do not ask me silly questions again.
My real name is a well-known kept secret.
I live in the North Pole
I have no telephone number you dumb ass
I don't have kids
My sleigh is not a car and it doesn't have a license plate
Again, my sleigh is not a car and I use reindeers to power the sleigh
My birthday is entirely a secret
Red and white obviously are my favorite colors
How did I get so fat? That is a question that has baffled scientists for thousands of years. Don't ask me that again you bastard
Must I politely ring the doorbell and wake you? Of course not! That's why I must come down through the chimney you consummate idiot!
Sincerely Yours,
Santa
All of them were enjoying but then without warning, a black object swooped in. "AAHH!" said Boromir. "What the heck is that?"
It flew above Boromir and nested on Gandalf's head. "AAUUGGGHHHH!" He screamed like a sissy little girl. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! AUUUGGGHHH!"
Legolas got out an arrow and decided to test his new bow. After taking aim, he fired his arrow. Thwang. There was a sound of the arrow hitting something large then suddenly, Gandalf screamed. "MY BUTT! SOMETHING BIT MY BUTT!"
Legolas smiled weakly as the black object which seemed to be an owl flew out the window. Apparently, it was scared by Gandalf's screams. Legolas wondered what could have caused the malfunction of his shot as Boromir tried to remove the arrow from Gandalf's ancient shiny butt. It was then that Legolas noticed that there was a letter under the Christmas tree. He picked it up and read it.
Dear Legolas,
I'm sorry but I cannot get what you have asked for. I will however, try to get it next year but be content with this crossbow. Take note that it is only of cheap imitation quality.
Very yours truly,
Santa
Legolas looked at his bow and began to weep bitterly.