C&C to Flames will be used to heat third world
homes.

Disclaimer: I don't own the series depicted within, but go buy them
anyway.

####
Fall
####

Ever wonder what it's like to lose who you are? Unable to be someone
because a splash of water will change you?
Sure, you may be more comfortable one way. But that can be taken from
you. Torn away by the change. Loosing a sense of self.
Fighting to keep that becomes your only direction in life. Against
the change, and all that comes with it.
May you live in interesting times indeed.
Always knowing the change will pull...rip...away all your work.
Always knowing the pain, the loss. The darkness.
Welcome to my life.
There's no end for me. The world pulls one way, denying you the
choice. Always one, never the other. Never both, never neither.
Would the beginning be the end I seek? Not likely. The end the
beginning? Same result.
Death? With my luck?
Silver lining? Yeah, right. I get to see this mess people jokingly
call my life. Some joy.
The void is coming for me, and I walk towards it willingly.

***

No voice. The one I want to hear me cannot.
Not surprising.
Will I fail? Against this, most probably. The pain, oh the PAIN. It
grows, and nothing I can do stops it.
The phrase 'Beating my head against a brick wall' comes to mind.
The architect knew what he wanted, and knew not what he also blocked.
I suppose he still won't once it ends. Never seeing what he's done.
The bastard.
She whom he fears HAS, however. And is trapped like the rest. Unable
to do what is necessary.
Like myself.
Hope? It as long gone as Yesterday. And perhaps as irretrievable.

***

I watch them. And weep.
Necessity is cruel. So is Fate, and her Sister Destiny.
All pale in comparison to Chance. She ALWAYS calls her dues.
And her sense of timing is terrible.
I weep.
I weep for one who will never know peace.
I weep for the other who will never know LIFE.
The healing has failed, and punishment is not what was to be
delivered.
Must it now end?

***

Pain. Anguish.
Our meat and drink.

Even we have our limits, strange as that may seem. And this poor
unfortunate exceeded them LONG ago.
The one responsible, he doesn't even rate a mention! All this, caused
by idiocy of all things! We can't even think of all the wonderful
things we could do to him, because we'll never get him!
The outcry from BOTH sides about that was impressive, to say the
least.
The gremlins won't touch this assignment with a ten-metre barge poll,
and I hear some of the Guardian angels are still in counselling.
The end is near for this one, and nothing (except HIM) seems able to
stop it.

***

The Rules. The dammed, forsaken Rules.
Chance tried. Really, truly tried. But she has to follow the Rules.
As do we all.
Necessity can be cruel. Fate horrible. Destiny unkind.
Mention this to them and they'll cry their eyes out.
Chaos couldn't help. Advise yes, help no. The Rules again.
Divine Vengeance was an idea touted a little while ago. There were
things we could do. We'd just...miss and hit the general area. But it
was blocked.
The Rules. Again.
Is it any wonder I tend to 'forget' myself?
Wish? WE wish. Doesn't qualify. My suggestion to have lover-boy at
home get a third one and approach it from that angle was rejected.
The Rules.
Valkyrie. Now that had potential.
The announcement of an ignoble death put paid to that. Actions
against us? That idiot needed a wakeup call!
But... The Rules are the Rules.
Too bad THEY get all the lawyers.

***

Of all the things I've lost in life, I miss my mind the most. Ozzy
Osborne.
Right now I wouldn't miss it. Seeing the life, the soul, drain out of
someone is not a pleasant thing.
The idiots don't allow themselves to see it. I doubt they even
realise what they've thrown away.
Especially her. She had the greatest gift a person could have, and
she tossed it away like yesterday's rubbish. All because she wouldn't
put the effort in.
Damn it! I promised myself I wouldn't cry!
But that's all life is these days. Broken promises.

***

When you've been around as long as I have, you learn a few things.
Recognising your mistakes before it is too late is the hardest thing
to do.
I failed.
And this failure cost dearly. Someone so full of promise, destroyed
from within.
There are maybe four other people who realise this. They can't do
anything either.
May the Ancestors watch over your soul.

***

I sit at My desk and watch the countdown reach zero.
The Rules are there for a reason. It is times like this I must remind
Myself as to their purpose. Restraining Myself is hard at times like
this.
Everything must have an end.

----------

OK, This is dark. I'll admit I was in a depressed mood when I wrote
this.
I don't need to mention any names here, do I? It's pretty much obvious
who's who and what's what. So just think about it.