Huge thanks to Strega Brava and Sez, without whom this chapter would not look half as good as it does now.
Challenges
Chapter 6 - Mixed Emotions
Usually Hermione was the strong one. She had to be, as Ron and Harry counted on her whenever there was something not going the way it was supposed to go. They asked her for advice, talked to her about the trials and tribulations that formed life, or just leaned on her whenever they felt like it, and she loved it. It was good to be needed... she needed to be needed… if only to forget her own misery.
Several weeks had passed since Hermione had confided in Severus, which was very remarkable to say the least. She wasn't the type to spill her heart out…not to her friends, not to vague acquaintances, and certainly not to a former Professor…
The only person who had understood, but at the same time disputed that, had been her mother, if Hermione closed her eyes, she could still hear Victoria Granger say that real strength was not about keeping everything inside, but in the ability to talk about it, about the things that worried you, made you feel bad or just occupied your mind. She had been gone for five years now, five long years in which Hermione had kept everything to herself simply because there was no one around who dared to probe her feelings hard enough for her to finally give in to them.
Oh, Harry and Ron had tried, and tried very hard at that. But, somewhere down the road, they had given up. Not on her, not on their friendship, but on the sheer impossible task of getting Hermione out of her cocoon, built of work, work, and more work, and get her to live again.
She refused to believe that even the strongest person sometimes needed a shoulder to cry on. Feelings were something she preferred not to talk about, it made her weak, influenced her decisions and the image other people had of her. Her image was something she had worked for, very long and very hard.
Obviously, Hermione, being the person she was, wasn't about to give in to the turmoil of emotions that surged through her body and mind. But, much to her own surprise, she had done just that. In the arms of a man who had as much, if not more, trouble talking about his emotions as she had.
Confiding in Severus had probably not been the wisest thing to do after the mostly confusing and sometimes uncomfortable situations he had put her through. However, the moment he had walked into her room she had been forced to choose between giving in or giving up. Giving up was never an option for Hermione Granger.
What she first saw as a sign of weakness had quickly become a safe haven of comfort when she felt his slender fingers run through her hair and his arm tighten around her waist. Perhaps he did it only to make her feel more comfortable, but there was no trace of his usual demeanour.
No sneers. No sarcasm. In his eyes she saw a look of understanding. Between heartbreaking sobs, she told him everything that had plagued her mind since her discovery of the ancient scrolls and the realization that she could not do it alone. He had listened when she had told him about life, about loneliness and about not being able to connect to other people while she so desperately needed them every now and then.
Only a little earlier she had been convinced that he hated her with a passion for her muggle blood, her friendship with Harry or just simply because she existed, but she quickly realised that it had never been hate. It wasn't personal. It wasn't a mask to keep people at a distance. It was just the way he was, perhaps the way life had made him, and she, in turn understood and learned that, when it was necessary and only then, he could show friendliness. When she had felt his arm around her waist and heard his soft murmurs in her ear, she knew what she had missed all those years. Someone who could be strong for her and for whom she could be strong, if all else failed.
For Severus it had felt uncomfortable at first. Touching someone was not high on his list of "Things I'd like to do." He had not been comfortable with physical contact ever since he changed sides in the war. Contact was something that involved emotions and emotions were unpredictable…one could not properly prepare for them, they just happened.
He hated situations he could not prepare for.
Severus looked at his hands, hands he had sworn would never caress anyone ever again. They had caressed the murderess of his two sons as well as fondled his quivering victims, before he had forced his latest potion that needed testing upon them. There was blood on these hands and they would not touch an innocent ever again.
However, when she had told him about the darkness that surrounded her very soul, he knew she had seen Hell as well… her parents, his two sons.
But she had not been one of Hell's demons, as he himself had been. He did not deserve to feel the softness of her hair or the velvet touch of her skin. But, instead of backing away when she had rested her head against his shoulder, he had wrapped his free arm around her waist and softly stroked her hair.
She had the scents of summer rain and autumn leaves. She had felt wonderful. But he would rather die than admit that to anyone he thought, while cursing himself as somewhere, down in the pit of his stomach, something stirred that should have been dead and buried a long time ago.
Both were lonely, both had issues from the past that haunted them, and both were in need of a friend they could talk to, without needing to worry if the other really listened and understood or just pretended. In fact, they both needed an equal, and his worst fear was that, perhaps, they now had both found one.
When she had no tears left, she had fallen asleep like that, cuddled up against the man who had once been her professor. One who was trying very hard to remember that this strange, feisty but troubled woman he was holding, had indeed once been his student… a very irritating one at that, a know-it-all and, may the gods help him, a Gryffindor.
Despite all their differences, they reached a sort of truce that night and it was then that the fragile seeds of a peculiar friendship were planted. Perhaps because they both realized that, in a weak moment, when they allowed themselves to let their guards down, they were really not that different.
However, it did not stop them from making each other's lives as close to impossible as they could manage.
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It was just a normal Friday afternoon somewhere near the end of March when Hermione was sitting behind her desk, grading essays in the lab that Severus and herself used for testing and studying. She looked up as she heard the fast, furious footsteps of the Potions Master approaching, a sound that usually heralded a troublesome afternoon.
He just had the 4th year combination class, consisting of Gryffindors and Slytherins, for a double Potions lesson and his opinion of his least favourite house had not improved much over the years. As far as Hermione knew, the only Gryffindors he could stand to be in a room with were the headmaster, his deputy-headmistress and, perhaps, herself… and McGonnagal only when necessity called for it.
Suddenly the doors flew open and a seething Potions Master stormed in, robes billowing behind him. He paced up and down the lab for a minute or two while softly growling something under his breath that she just could not ignore.
"Stupid…dratted…impossible…horrible…little Gryffindors…"
"Good afternoon to you too, Professor…" Hermione said, raising her eyebrows. She was in a good mood today and would not have it ruined by Severus bashing her house. The house rivalry was not really something that bothered her as she had learned a long time ago that not everyone in Slytherin was necessarily evil, Malfoy Jr. and Severus being the biggest examples of that. However, she knew what was coming and decided that he deserved at least some disagreement.
He ignored her, sat down in his favourite chair, shooting daggers into the fire with his coal black eyes and slowly flexing his fingers.
"What have they done today to make your life miserable?" Hermione asked innocently, trying very hard to hide her amusement, which did not work very well judging from the poisonous look Severus shot at her.
"Do not tell me that Severus Snape, Potions Master of this School is having a rough day because a bunch of dunderheads cannot get a simple shrinking potion into their thick skulls," she said sarcastically.
"That is exactly what I am telling you, Miss Granger, and I advise you not to mock or annoy me today as you might end up on a broomstick, under the influence of that little illegal curse we discussed earlier in our relationship" he growled, glaring at her.
By now she knew that shouting at him would only get her on his bad side and she really needed his input on a part in the Dwarven Handbook he had given her a few weeks ago in the Three Broomsticks.
She was convinced it would get them that one step closer to the solution of their problem, if they could only get the translation right. Thus far that had been impossible, but perhaps today they would find a clue… So, instead of letting her temper get the better of her, Hermione took a deep breath and counted to ten. When that didn't help she decided to give him what he asked for.
More Sarcasm.
"So who is your chosen one to clean out the dungeons with a toothbrush tonight?" She asked sweetly.
"If you insist on knowing, as I am sure you do…Thora McGonnal" he said, still angry.
"Who is she? I never heard her name before," Hermione remarked, only mildly interested. If she would just let him talk, chances were that he would spill it all out, his anger together with the words and perhaps they could get some work done.
"She is a highly intelligent, stubborn, impossibly obnoxious little know-it-all with an explosive temper… not entirely unlike someone else I know…" he sneered slowly but, when he saw Hermione's glare, he quickly continued.
"I believe several people know her as Thora Silveraxe. She refuses to believe that, in Hogwarts, there is only one way to brew a potion, MY way, not hers…" he grumbled.
Hermione had opened her mouth to give a snide comment on his comparison of her with one of his students but closed it again without saying a word. She couldn't believe her ears… Silveraxe was a name she had found in many books concerning the Dwarves in her quest to find a key to their old language. Modern Dwarvish was no problem as it sounded an awful lot like the Scottish muggles spoke around the Glasgow area, but the old Dwarven Language really was problematic…
"Silveraxe you said!? Just exactly how little is this obnoxious little know-it-all? The name sounds awfully…"
"Dwarven…" They said in unison, both suddenly bolting upright and staring each other in the eyes.
"I cannot believe I have not thought of her before!" Severus stated angrily, most of his annoyance directed at himself. He could not believe he had overlooked the most obvious solution to their problem! But then… there had been an awful lot on his mind the last couple of weeks, the young woman standing in front of him, not being the least of them.
"I remember Dumbledore telling me that the girl is, in fact a half-dwarf, raised by her mother who is responsible for the Dwarven half of her parentage. Her father was killed in a nasty episode of the war I won't delve into right now. She uses her father's name to avoid speculation about her mixed lineage. Her Dwarven blood is not too obvious in her…and the Silveraxe family is old, very old Dwarven royalty. There is a fairly good chance that she learned the old language when she was young," Severus thought aloud.
"Why didn't you think of her before?" Hermione asked incredulously. It was not like Severus Snape to just forget an important fact like that.
He shot a dark look at her.
"That is something I wouldn't even tell you on my dying day, Hermione," he thought.
"Because, Miss Granger, she is not in my house so I don't keep an eye on her. Also, Dumbledore has told Minerva and myself very little of her background. What he told us, he told us some four years ago, which I have just told you. She doesn't look Dwarven despite the fact that she is Flitwick-sized and, furthermore, I try not to think of obnoxious Gryffindor students anymore as soon as the last one walks out of my lesson for the day. Not good. I'll admit that much, but, trust me, it is understandable once you consider being in my position," he sneered.
"Really? Not being in your house never stopped you from "keeping an eye" on Harry, Ron and myself some years ago. Sometimes we even thought you could vaporize yourself and reappear somewhere out of thin air again, preferably somewhere where we were making trouble. But I suppose times were different then," she laughed a little sarcastically, but not enough to make it sound unfriendly.
"Times were indeed different then, Miss Granger. The delightful sensation of you three being scared of me, being one of the larger changes" he said, not without humour.
Hermione didn't say anything. It probably wasn't wise to tell Severus that Ron still had nightmares about being caught by him and doing the most unimaginable horrible punishment that only Ron could dream up…
"Tonight, I believe we may have a breakthrough Miss Granger. I believe I know just the way how to punish Miss McGonnal" Severus suddenly stated, a mild smile playing around his lips.
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Severus had decided over dinner that it was better to go to his private quarters and let Hermione take care of Thora McGonnal, in order not to scare the poor girl out of her wits. Of course it had been Hermione's idea and, at first, he hadn't agreed with it at all. They even had a fight at the Head Table, and to his horror he realised just now that the whole school had probably been watching. He wasn't proud of the things he said, but damn it, that woman was capable of getting the worst out of him. She was certainly stimulating company but that that tongue of hers should definitely be on a leash…that way he could perhaps control his own.
He remembered only too well what had been said. They were seated next to each other and what had started as a whispered suggestion by Hermione had quickly developed in a full-blown fight with a very awkward ending.
"Professor, with all due respect, if you take care of her punishment, you'll scare the poor girl to death. No matter how fluently she speaks ancient Dwarven, she'll make too many mistakes just because she'll be afraid of you breathing down her neck to check on her work. Trust me, as I have been your student, I know how one feels while you slowly slither through the dungeon, waiting on a chance to take points from Gryffindor or make a snide comment about one's sad and wholly unsatisfactory intellect," Hermione said, a little more fiercely than she planned. His blunt refusal of her suggestion before she was even finished speaking had made her more than a bit aggressive.
He was getting irritated, What gave her the right to judge him, or his teaching methods? He worked that way partly because it was the only way he was comfortable with and partly because it was a necessity. She hadn't seen darkness as he did.
"Or has she?" He thought, but as soon as the thought occurred, he pushed it aside, angry now and ready to lash out at the woman who caused his anger.
"That was because every time you opened your pretty little mouth, Miss Granger, you spoiled my plans in class. You and the other two of the inseparable or rather… insufferable trio…"
"Ha! Plans! What plans, other than making sure everyone feared and hated you except for some spoiled Slytherin brats!?" She interrupted him furiously, regretting her words the moment she saw cold rage glittering in his eyes.
"Contrary to popular belief, Miss Granger…" Severus whispered dangerously, "I did not want to be hated by everyone, as you so kindly put it. Feared yes. That is included in my job description as head of Slytherin House and is a rather comfortable sensation if you want to be left alone. However… hatred was, unfortunately, a… necessity and I sincerely hope it got through your thick skull by now, that I do whatever it takes to achieve what is needed. It may not be pleasant, but some things need to be done, and being hated was one of them," he continued venomously.
Hermione shot a poisonous look at him. She was tired of his evasive answers and wanted some real ones, momentarily forgetting that she had no right to anything that could be qualified as an answer to her next question.
"Why do you so insist on being the sorry creature that you are? You could have a life, friends even, but you persistently keep throwing people out of your life and keeping them at a distance. Why!?" She was shouting now but couldn't care less. They were both so absorbed in their argument that they didn't notice the entire faculty had fallen silent and the students in the Great Hall were intently watching them.
"Because I do not want friends! I want to be left alone! What part of that don't you understand!?" He roared, seething with anger now.
She looked at him. At his eyes, which glittered with anger, the strongest emotion he had ever showed her. At his temples where a vein throbbed noticeably, his strong, aquiline nose which gave his face an almost aristocratic feature, his raven black hair, his tall, proud figure. She was shocked to the core of her being to realize that she found each and every feature attractive and angry because, each and every time she even so much as suspected she was getting closer to the real Severus Snape, he did something to just hurl her out of his life and get her into a fit of rage. The man was simply insufferable.
Well, not this time! She would not let it happen!
She swallowed and looked into his eyes, her anger slowly being replaced by a feeling of discomfort, fear almost. Not for the man who was sitting next to her, but to the slowly reawakening woman inside herself.
"Funny. I remember a man who was there when I needed him. Who held me when I needed to be held and who made me talk, when I didn't want to talk. Who could be silent with me, without making me feel uncomfortable. Perhaps I am wrong, but isn't that what friends do for each other?" she whispered softly, a lot braver than she actually felt inside.
He looked at her intently. He didn't understand what her game was, but he simply refused to be toyed with. If she wanted to play games with him, well… she'd soon find out that Severus Snape never lost any game… and certainly not from Hermione Granger. She used to irritate him when she was younger because she had the sheer nerve of going against his direct orders on more than one occasion. Unfortunately, she still irritated him regularly, but the reasons had changed as much as the girl from the past had changed into the woman he was very reluctantly beginning to see in a new light. Slowly, his anger ebbed away.
"And I remember a girl I taught once, not so very long ago. I think I called her a little know-it-all as well, who feared me and hated me. She told me so herself, just a few minutes ago. Tell me, Miss Granger, do you think she still fears me, hates me even? She should, you know, for I am a dangerous man, " he murmured in a voice as dark as midnight and as soft and suffocating as a spider's web and she was the fly caught in the middle of it.
She hesitated a moment before answering.
"No, I don't think she ever really hated you," she answered softly, hesitating another moment before making her next statement. "But once, not so very long ago, you used to scare the hell out of her… sometimes you still do, although the reasons are different now…."
The last few words of her already whispered reply were barely audible, and she was unsure whether he had heard her or not. In a way she hoped not…
Much to her surprise, she saw a small, satisfied smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"I'm glad I left some impression," he stated dryly.
"Oh you did, no doubt about that. But, do tell me, Professor. After all this time, do you still think she is an obnoxious little know-it-all?"
He laughed hard and she bolted upright, not because she hadn't expected it, which was also true, but because of the pleasant vibrating sound of it.
"No, I think she has grown over her being obnoxious and she is hardly little anymore. But yes, she is still a know-it-all, although I got used to it a little, or rather was forced to get used to it. Now I find her drive to know everything there is to know and research everything she doesn't know yet, very refreshing. Now, Miss Granger, if you'll excuse me, it seems I have to retreat to my private chambers in order to avoid scaring "the hell" out of our dear Miss McGonnal. She's all yours but do try to leave her in one piece."
And, with that last statement, he swooped out of the door, robes billowing behind him, leaving an utterly speechless Hermione behind.
She looked around her and realized that all the teachers had heard their conversation, some of them were grinning a bit and others tried very hard to stare at their plates. She met Dumbledore's glittering eyes for a moment but, before she could say anything to excuse herself from the table, she felt a soft tap at her shoulder. She turned around and looked in the face of Professor Flitwick.
"I think he likes you, my dear," he chirped.
Hermione had to restrain herself in order not to curse the poor man to oblivion. She mumbled some excuse instead and darted furiously out of the door.
"How dare he?" were her last thoughts as she stormed to the dungeons to take care of Thora McGonnal…all the while trying very hard not to notice the chuckles that followed her from the Great Hall.
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Meanwhile in Azkaban, a raven- haired beauty chuckled in her sleep. She was having the dream again, the same dream she'd had for months now.
After almost 27 years in prison, she would be free soon…very soon…
Her master was near. She could feel it in every bone in her body. Perhaps tonight he would walk into her little prison cell and tell her she would serve in his inner circle again. She was his most trusted minion, his confidant, his lover. Of course she still loved Severus, but there was a certain dark quality in her relationship with her demon lover that Severus just couldn't compete with. In contrast with the Dark Lord, he had never liked her games.
A hooded figure glided by, holding still in front of her door for just a slight moment, then it moved on. The Dementors didn't affect her anymore, and she knew that was because her master was near. Soon she would be free. Soon she would have her revenge.
Her darling husband would pay for what had done to her, and after he had paid…
He would learn the true meaning of serving in darkness.
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Severus was sitting alone in his favourite chair, once again staring into the fire and contemplating life, lost and newly found loved ones. Much to his irritation he had been forced to admit to himself that he had started to care about the Granger girl.
He was losing his sharpness all because of this…this stupid infatuation… and it was starting to become obvious as well. He could not believe he had overlooked that Dwarf brat. If this was what that stupid friendship thing did to him, he'd rather go without…
For some reason she went right through all his defences regardless of the promises he had made to himself never to care about anyone ever again. Not that it would change anything. One day they would either find the solution of the manuscript or they would give up. Either way, she would go away and he would be able to go back to his solitary life and live happily ever after in his dungeon.
Alone once again.
It was what he deserved after all he had done. How could he ever long for more, ever long for a… friend… a companion even…
Even if she… no…that was utter nonsense…but still… he seriously doubted Hermione was the kind of woman that would allow herself to be shoved aside. He wasn't blind or stupid and had seen the look in her eyes…
But no…
Severus didn't flatter himself and doubted she was very much attracted to him. But there was one advantage he had over other men who would be far more suitable for her. He was around.
Also, they seemed to have an understanding of each other, albeit a bit of a turbulent one.
He sighed and realized that perhaps he would have to be strong for both of them. But her mind, Merlin's teeth, that fabulous mind of hers! Up until a few weeks ago he had never met his equal but, when it came to the power of the mind, she was his equal in every way and that intrigued him more than just a little.
However there was one big difference, one that would seal their fate forever. She was a beautiful young woman with the world at her feet and he was an old, dark, marked man wallowing in self-pity.
There would never be a place in the life of a young successful witch for a man like that.
Or a friend for that matter but he dismissed the thought as soon as it occurred.
He had spoken the truth at the Head Table.
He didn't want a friend… and knew that therein lay the danger…
He had to be strong.
He would be strong.
He could be strong.
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Meanwhile, in the dungeons, Hermione practised her sternest look as she heard a timid knock on the door. She eagerly opened it, curious about this girl who could perhaps solve a problem that two of the greatest minds of this century had not yet been able to solve.
In front of her stood a girl, not taller than four feet, with a freckled face and the ageless features that were so common amongst the Dwarves. She could be 14, 35 or 135. Hermione honestly couldn't tell.
"I'm here to serve my detention, Professor Granger," the girl said softly, trying to hide her pleasant surprise that Hermione had opened the door instead of Professor Snape, who she really did not want to face after the stunt she pulled that afternoon.
"Honestly, Thora, telling Professor Snape that your way of preparing a potion works just as well as his was not really a bright idea after he had just put you in your place and deducted 15 points from Gryffindor for slapping a Slytherin in the face," Thora thought to herself. Brilliant. Now she was responsible for losing the house 30 points and got a detention as well to top it off…
"Yes, so I was told" Hermione stated dryly, as if there could be any other reason a Gryffindor student would go anywhere near the dungeons after dinner. "Come in and take a seat in the front row. I'll be with you in a moment," she said, pointing in the direction of the students' desks while picking up the copy she had made of the relevant passage of the book, parchment and a quill.
Thora was quite happy to be given a relatively simple translating job instead of something horrible and nasty like polishing the silver in the prize room, something her temper had gotten her to do before, 16 times to be precise. After Hermione's explanations and confession that she knew about her mixed parentage, it took Thora little more than an hour before she put her quill down, gave it one last check and put it on Hermione's desk.
"Finished already?" Hermione inquired in a friendly tone.
"Yes, it's the only language my grandma speaks. I'm used to it. Of course, she is over 600 years old so I would imagine the language to be a bit…dead around here" she said as she shrugged.
Hermione smiled. This Thora seemed to be a hard worker, just too honest for her own good and with a bit of a temper. Severus' analysis had not entirely been off the mark. She was indeed a bit like she herself had been back when she was a student. Of course that was no good during Potions, where the only one Severus would allow to have a vile temper was himself.
"That will be all, Miss Silveraxe. Do try to be a bit more careful and polite around Professor Snape. Trust me, I have been his student as well, so I know from first hand experience that you have been immensely lucky tonight," she chuckled as she closed the door behind the girl.
"Now… Let's see what Thora has made of it…."
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"Severus, look! She's done it!" Hermione exclaimed, for the moment forgetting all polite titles and niceties while she enthusiastically ran in the door.
Severus closed the thick tome he was reading and stood up, walking towards her in slow steps, using his full height to tower over her.
"Really, Miss Granger. We may live in the same quarters for the moment, but could you please remember that this is a respectable school and that I go by a title I worked very hard for?" He said sternly.
She was not impressed and gave him an irritated look.
"Listen, if you are in that mood again, let me inform you now that I'm not putting up with it. I have a title as well, namely the one of Doctor but that doesn't say anything about who or what I am and neither does your professorship. I respect you for what you are, for the person I know you are. I have a name and I prefer you use it. All my friends do and I insist you do as well!" She said, the fury that she had repressed after dinner suddenly resurfacing in full heat.
"But we are hardly…friends… Miss Granger," he said ominously.
She looked at him, her amber eyes piercing into his black ones. But, instead of the rage he had expected to see in them as he had seen a moment before, he saw only hurt.
Suddenly he felt very small.
"Would you care to explain what we are, if we are not friends, Professor?" She asked, with ice-shards in her voice.
He said nothing for a while, took a sip from his whisky and avoided looking into her eyes.
"I… think that is a territory best left unexplored… Hermione. It's safer… for both of us," Severus murmured softly, for the first time in his life, tasting her name on his lips as he put the glass down on a table.
Hermione could only nod, while staring at the flagstone floor. She was trying very hard not to shiver or give in to her emotions. In the past, she used to steel herself during troublesome moments and as it had worked then, she tried it again, but failed miserably.
What was it about this man that one moment she wanted to seriously kill him in the worst possible way and another moment she wanted to… kiss him?
"No… surely not, anything but that, Miss Granger?" she thought, but before she thought it over she took one step to close the distance between them and looked at him, her nose almost touching his. Before she knew what she was doing she kissed him softly on the lips.
For the first three seconds he was too stunned to react. Then a wave of passion took him over. Without thinking, he placed his hands on her hips and kissed her savagely, his tongue taking full possession of her mouth.
She felt his hands kneading her hips and lower back and felt fire explode somewhere down her spine and lower belly. Moaning softly, although not sure whether it was desire or a little fear, she answered his passion without really thinking about what was happening.
It was over as unexpectedly as it had started. He roughly pushed her away and turned his back on her.
"This must never happen again. Do you hear me? Don't ever try this again," he said slowly, anger seething in his voice while he placed his hands on the back of his chair and leaned on it, refusing to look at her.
Shocked wasn't the word to describe the feeling that manifested itself into the core of her being. However she needed to put a name to the mixed feelings of anger, remorse, revulsion, desire and disappointment. Shocked simply came closest to it.
"I am sorry, I…" she was afraid her voice and her courage would fail her miserably so after her first few stammered words she kept her mouth shut and just stood there, wringing her hands and struggling with herself not to flee the room.
He turned around and looked helplessly at her, saw the look on her face, but didn't move to comfort her… that would only make matters worse…
"Hermione… I… It's not you…I…" he tried to explain but, when he saw the hurt expression on her face, words failed him, just as they had failed Hermione.
She sighed, and almost had to laugh about the stupidity of the situation. Refused by Severus Snape, the most unapproachable and most undesirable man the Wizarding World had to offer…to most people anyway, but not to her, no… not to her…
"Severus, stop it. You don't need to make up an excuse. Honestly… I understand… and besides… we have work to do," she said bravely while she shoved the piece of parchment she still clutched in her hands under his nose.
He seriously doubted that she did understand, but left it at that. It was safer for her to think that he didn't want her although she was as far from the truth as she could possibly be. He could never tell her that there were many reasons as to why he could not get involved with her.
The fact that he was married to one of the most ferocious murderers in Azkaban being one of the lesser ones. However, the fact remained that he would be "attached" until death parted Selene from him and that left no room for the one he cared about.
He refused to make Hermione his whore…she deserved more than that…
And she deserved more that being the wife of a murderer, one who would - without doubt - kill again.
Becoming a widower had been his greatest ambition ever since he changed sides, since it seemed the woman was resistant to Dementors, he would have to do it himself and he would, even if it meant a lifelong sentence in Azkaban…
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"Gillyweed," Severus suddenly stated.
"Excuse me?" Hermione said tiredly while she looked at him. They had been studying for hours, carefully checking every possibility, but each and every opportunity had led to a dead end, as usual.
"Here it is. Look," he said as she sat down next to her and put the piece of parchment under her nose.
"The Fae are a highly magical race and, much like dragons, their hair, scales, nails or blood are used only in the highest forms of magic. However, they are strongest when personally given out of own free will for a specific spell, charm or potion," Hermione read.
"The mermaid hair," she said breathlessly.
Severus gave her a small smile"We have a lake full of Merfolk, Miss Granger. It seems we have to go and politely ask them for some ingredients instead of buying them in Diagon Alley."
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Minerva McGonnagal had never been in such a rush as she was now. Many students looked very surprised at seeing the tabby cat they knew to be their deputy head-mistress running down the hall which led to the dungeons.
She stopped in front of the door of the Head of Slytherin House and transformed herself back into her human form.
"Severus! Open the bloody door! It is urgent!" She shouted while nearly knocking down the door.
"Take it easy, Woman. It's not as if the castle is about to be overtaken by a horde of Dementors." came the cranky reply while Severus opened the door.
"Severus…" she panted, out of breath.
"Yes…?" he asked dryly
"Azkaban…the Dementors… the prisoners!"
A terrible feeling manifested itself in the pit of his stomach
"Dammit, Woman, what are you trying to say!" he shouted.
"Voldemort has taken Azkaban and freed the prisoners. Selene is on her way to the castle!" She finally blurted out.
Severus visibly paled.
"Merlin's teeth…Hermione is outside in the lake, getting some dratted mermaid's hair! Let me through!" he shouted, as he nearly knocked her over.
"Severus! No! You will only make things worse! Hagrid is down there, getting everyone inside. You have to stay inside…orders from Dumbledore. It is you she's after…"
"Me and everyone I care about!" He snarled. "Now let me through!" But Minerva, who was surprisingly strong for her age, didn't plan on letting him go.
"Very well" Severus said and pretended to give up resistance. The moment her grip relaxed he ripped himself loose and transformed into a large black raven, his seldom-used animagus form.
Minerva looked at him while he flew away at the speed of light, cursing herself for not having brought a wand.
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Authors notes:
Pfew! Finally this chapter is done!
I know I made many of you wait forever for this chapter… I hope you're still hanging in and enjoying it! It is just that Real Life keeps acting up and I'm sorry but I'm enjoying it too much to let it pass by. :-D
I'm sure many of you agree…
The next chapter will also take quite a while I think, but I (roughly) know where this story is going and I promise I will get there, I just hope you will be there with me… :-D
Also thank you so much for all the kind reviews, I know I hardly ever get back to people who review but it isn't less appreciated, actually it is a bit overwhelming, I love it!!