Heart of the Soul: Part I
By Eval Chylde
Are there certain souls our own spirit is drawn to? Will there be people we are born with again and again? How do we find these people, our soul mates, through the sands of time? Do the gods bring us together, or do we find ourselves again and again? Will we ever remember the times we shared in our lives before?
Death is only the beginning.
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"I don't really remember what I was thinking while I was defending Edea. I felt this strong urge to protect her, but not because I knew she was our Matron. I can't explain the desire, I don't want to understand it. I just felt it, and don't really regret it.
"I do remember watching Garden float over me, and coming to a realization: that I had to change my ways if I could live with myself. I left Fuijin and Raijin to their own accord and traveled around the world. I wandered aimlessly, never certain of what I was looking for or where I was heading.
"I soon found myself here in Trabia, and at the shattered gates of Trabia Garden. That's when it hit me; the horror of what I had done slammed into me harder than a run away train. I knew tears wouldn't rebuild or resurrect the Garden, so I didn't cry.
"The urge to wander stayed with me, so I did. I found myself here, and had heard a scream and was compelled to assist. I saw you all there, being attacked by those beasts and the urge to protect came rushing back.
"I again have a purpose. I can again be someone's knight."
The four SeeD sat staring at the back of their ex-school mate, each of them speechless. Not that Squall ever really spoke, but even he looked like he was struggling to speak but couldn't find the words. Had these words really poured from the boy they had fought with all their lives? This had to be a dream, a trick. Didn't it?
The blonde turned and smiled at them, a warm and friendly smile, and laughed. "You don't believe a word I've said, do you?"
Zell, of course, was the first to speak. "You expect us to believe you immediately?!" he blurted. "You destroyed Trabia Garden, nearly destroyed Balamb and its Garden! You don't honestly expect us to believe you, do you?!"
"No, Chicken wuss" the older boy replied. "I don't."
"Well, you're dead wrong, you…!" The martial-artist stopped, his mouth gaping open like some surprised fish. He quickly clamped it shut and sat back down. They sat nervously, no one sure what else to say. Finally, Quistis stood and spoke up.
"We thank you for your assistance, Seifer. It was good to see you again; safe journey." She bowed and left the room. Irvine followed suit, pausing to shrug at the other two.
Seifer's head lowered and he sighed. "I didn't expect you all to greet me with open arms if we ever met again." He hefted his bag over his shoulder and smiled warmly at the remaining two SeeD. "I'll be around. Give me a holler if you need any help." And he left, not waiting for any kind of comment or answer.
"What, might I inquire, was that all about?" Sean asked softly after the front door slammed shut.
"Just an old acquaintance," Squall replied. "Nothing important."
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"Wow!"
Zell ran up to the little shop, his face pressed against the window. "Look at all the cool stuff in there!" Before anyone could protest, the young blonde flung open the door and dashed inside. He slammed hard into someone, getting knocked back to his bottom on the porch outside.
"Jeez!" Zell huffed. "Sorry about that."
He gasped softly, looking up at the man he had run into. He had bright, cheerfully green eyes that glistened like an emerald in summer sunlight. His face was strong yet gentle, a cool smile complimenting his gorgeous features. His skin was sun-kissed, his hair a golden brown that just brushed the top of his ears.
"Are you alright?" he asked in a smooth, unfamiliar accent.
"Yeah," Zell replied, allowing the man to pull him to his feet. "Thanks."
"Ah, Mr. Carter," Sean smiled, shaking hands with the older man. "This is Julian Carter, a biologist. He's here to study a very rare animal that lives in the mountains."
"I'm Zell Dincht," the blonde informed him, grinning and giving a mock salute. "What animal are you looking for?"
"One that is only in legends, and no man has actually seen."
"Mr. Carter; won't you join us for lunch at my home? I would love for you to meet the other three."
Julian laughed and bowed his head. "I would be honored. I stopped into town to get a few supplies I was getting low on. A good, home cooked meal certainly sounds delicious."
"Excellent! Zell, do you mind putting off your shopping spree until a later date?"
The blonde shrugged and smiled shyly. "I don' think that guy's going anywhere. I have no problem with it."
Sean led the way, very happily chattering about what they were going to have for lunch. Zell and Julian followed slowly, trudging through the snow after the young man.
"How long have you been a SeeD?" Julian whispered softly. Zell stared at him for a second, blinking hard. SeeD and its members weren't exactly common knowledge. Few people even knew the organization existed, let alone who was a SeeD.
"How the hell did you…?"
Julian laughed softly, grinning. "I have ways of finding information. You are here to investigate a murder, are you not?"
"Yes, I am."
"Do be careful, Zell." Julian's face suddenly became very dark and serious, his voice lowering to a harsh whisper Zell could barely hear. "There are dangerous beings in those woods; creatures you can't hope to understand nor overcome. They will tear you apart."
The blonde stopped to stare at the older man, who continued after Sean. "Sean!" he called. "Will you be making those delightful biscuits of yours?"
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The smaller boy looked up at his commander, knowing Squall was carefully analyzing each word of the conversation. Zell had admitted he didn't recite it exactly the way it had happened, but couldn't remember it word-for-word like Squall wanted it.
"You're making something out of nothing," Squall finally concluded. "He's investigating a rare animal; perhaps this is what he's warning against."
"Those large dogs that attacked us, perhaps?" Quistis said thoughtfully, sipping at her hot cocoa.
Squall snorted softly, crouching down in the snow. The group had returned to the scene, hoping to try and follow the tracks to their source before the storm hit. SeeD had been wandering around for about an hour before taking a break to warm up.
"You're sure we're in the right area?" Irvine asked, dusting off his jacket. "We've been circling the same area for the past 45 minutes. Maybe we missed it?"
"No," Squall said simply, glaring at the gunslinger to dismiss further argument.
"What are you telling us, man?" Zell huffed, holding out his cup so Quistis could pour him some cocoa. "That someone came out and erased the tracks?"
Silence was their only answer.
"Who would do that, though?" Quistis wondered. "That Julian fellow? Someone from the village?"
"Or the people who made the tracks," Zell suggested.
Irvine sighed and shifted his gun on his shoulder. "I still say the idea of one living thing making those tracks is crazy, Spikey."
Quistis finished her drink and returned her cup to the bag. She pulled the duffle over her shoulder and turned toward the sun, in the direction of town. "Who knows; perhaps someone used magic to make themselves change.
"Here's another question for our list," Squall said softly, turning to look back from where they had come from. He turned again to look at his fellow SeeDs. "How could someone erase the tracks and not make new ones?"
Zell stared at his stoic leader, scratching his head and looking at the ground like the answer was in the snow. Quistis pondered the question while she gazed up at the sky through the barren trees. Irvine pushed his hat back and sighed.
"Great," the gunslinger muttered. "Just one more to a very long list. Soon it'll be as long as my list of ladies."
"I wish," Zell breathed, rolling his eyes. "That woulda been one damn short list. We shoulda stopped about five questions ago."
"There's nothing more we can do for the time being," Quistis informed everyone, already trudging through the snow back toward Sean's home. "The storm will be here soon; we had better head back." She led the way through the woods along the path they had made. Zell kicked at the snow, but followed along behind.
How much evidence would they loose thanks to Mother Nature?
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The winds outside were wailing, telling of the forth coming storm as it grew nearer to the small town. The barren trees outside swayed and bent in the wind and tapped against the glass of the windows. Freezing temperatures and cascading snowflakes stopped outside, and the atmosphere inside was warm and safe.
Silver clinked against plates, the four SeeD devouring themselves in the wholesome meal Sean had prepared while they were out investigating. No one spoke, thinking about the days events and trying to put at least the border of the puzzle together.
Of course, Zell was the one to break the silence.
The blonde let his fork fall to his plate. "We should have stayed out there a little bit longer. Maybe a few minutes would have made the difference. We could have found some type of clue."
"Zell, we'll never solve this mystery if we're frozen stiff in the snow," Quistis said calmly, sipping silently at her soup.
"Squall?" Zell questioned, hoping the silent boy had taken his side and just wasn't saying so yet. Their scarred leader glanced up at him, but offered no comment before returning to his meal.
"Give it a rest, Spikey," Irvine chuckled as he pulled apart a biscuit.
"Sqall, don't you think there's more to this than what the village people are making?" Zell pushed. "What about what Sean had said about the strange, dark shapes? Those tracks were obviously made by the same being."
Finally, Squall set his fork down and looked at the blonde. "I have to agree with Kinneas; the idea is ridiculous." He picked up a bowl and served himself more corn before returning to his supper.
"Y-you agree with him?" the martial artist stuttered. Silence fell over them as he fumed, his long canine digging into his bottom lip as he snarled. His fists slammed on the table by his plate as he stood; he shook the entire table and all eyes fell on him.
"That figures. And I suppose you agree with him about the same people coming back and erasing the tracks ridiculous? And that there's more to this than a couple fuming towns? And that I look like a drowned rat after I've taken a shower? What else to you agree with Kinneas on? How big your dicks and small your minds are?!"
"Zell," Quistis said calmly, reaching out to touch the blonde. He shoved his chair back, practically flipping it over, and stormed over to the door. He grabbed his coat and slipped it on as he burst out into the cold. The door slammed shut behind him, and left silence in the tiny, warm cottage.
Sean stared at the remaining SeeDs, wondering why someone wasn't going after the blonde. Quistis stood and made for the door, but Squall's hand stopped her.
"He'll be back," he assured them. "The cold will hit him, and he'll come back."
I hope you're right, Mr. Leonheart, Sean thought, turning to stare at the snow-covered window behind him.
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Zell leaned into the wind, trying to block his eyes from the piercing snowflakes with his arm. He felt like the heat of his anger could melt everything around him.
They don't take me seriously, he fumed, wishing he had something or someone to hit. They always take whatever I say as a big joke. Like I don't know anything, and I'm just a stupid, loud-mouthed fighter. Well they're wrong!
He sneezed hard, the convulsion shaking his entire body. "They're all… wrong…"
How long had he walked? Zell turned to look back the way he had come, expecting to see the house. Snow, trees, and darkness was all his eyes surveyed. He couldn't even see the tracks he had just made. What shit had he gotten himself into now?
Zell felt suddenly tired, like he had been running for hundreds of miles. He just wanted to collapse and sleep. His knees buckled and he tumbled to the snow, his mouth just barely above the surface so he could breathe.
So tired…
His eyes grew heavy, and exhaustion slammed into him like a raging Behemoth. Breathing became difficult and painful; he wheezed hard, trying to push himself back up to his feet. He managed to lift his body a couple inches before falling back to the ground.
Damn you, Squall. Darkness completely engulfed him, and he felt his fingers starting to go numb as he clenched them into a fist.
You never… believe in me…
"Well," he heard a soft voice whisper through the haze. "You certainly don't belong out here." Strong hands lifted him from the snow, and something soft and warm brushed his cheek. The blonde tried to force his eyes open to see who it was; his body gave up, and he slipped into unconsciousness.
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Fire and smoke clouded his eyes, keeping him from seeing the road ahead of him. He ran as fast as his small, bare feet could carry him. He just had to make it in time!
The lights of his adoptive home was just in front of him, the flames dancing across the plains and toward the building. He could hear them behind him, howling and snarling as they neared. The beasts were massive and much faster than he was. Would he reach her in time for her to protect him?
Strong hands lifted him from the ground suddenly, carrying him away from the house. "Wait!" he wailed. "Mama!"
"Your mother is safe!" the man assured him. They ran much faster than the monsters nipping at their heals; they left everything, the fires, the monsters, the home he grew up in, far behind them. The mountains that he'd only seen from a distance grew closer, and they were trekking up them. The man let him down, and the two continued to run side by side.
"What's hap'ning, mister?" he asked curiously.
The man slowed to a stop and turned to look at him. He was tiny, even for a human. His black hair was ruffled around his face, his gray eyes large and sad.
"Something you are much too young to understand, ningen. Do not worry; just as these events have come and gone in the past without much significance… So will this."
He turned and led the way up the mountain, a tiny cottage appearing from within the trees.
[ end part i ]