"Let's get out of this stupid skull," said Kovu, waggling his rear as he prepared to spring. But Kiara stopped him by standing on his tail.
"I think there's still something out there. Listen!"
Sure enough they heard scuffling nearby, and a strange snorting noise.
"H-hello?" Kovu called.
"Kovu!" Kiara clapped a paw over his mouth. The noise stopped for a few seconds, then resumed with a grunt.
Kovu was restless, though, and unable to stay cooped up any longer. He poked his head and front paws out. "Who's out here? Are you gonna kill us?" he demanded.
"I kill thousands every night," came a snuffly voice. Somehow it didn't sound as though its owner was capable of such feats of murder, however. Kovu's curiosity got the better of him and he slipped out of his hiding-place, closely followed by Kiara.
They saw a creature that could have come from another planet. Hunch-backed and hairless, it blinked at them from tiny black eyes set over a long snout that wiggled and twitched. Its short legs ended in nasty-looking yellow claws.
Kovu chuckled. "Oh boy! An earth-pig! Now we'll have some fun!"
"A what?" Kiara wrinkled her nose and studied the creature. She'd never seen one before, but she knew it must be an aardvark. Now that she looked at it, Kovu's word seemed exactly right. The little beady eyes and whiffly nose reminded her of...Pumbaa! She laughed out loud.
The aardvark shuffled round to look at her, seeming offended. Just then Kovu leaped at it as if trying to knock it over. But he was far smaller than the aardvark, which, set low to the ground, was very hard to budge. He cannoned off its hide and fell in a growling heap.
Kiara put a paw to her mouth to restrain a giggle. "Kovu, what are you doing?"
The other cub scrambled up. "I've seen Mom deal with these things," he told her. "You gotta tip them over and scoop out the insides - like a calabash." By now he was pressing his shoulders against the aardvark's side with all his might, eyes squeezed shut with the effort and teeth clenched. The heavy aardvark looked mildly surprised.
"Eww Kovu! That's disgusting!" Kiara stuck out her tongue. "Why do you want to kill it? You're not hungry are you?"
"Yes I am, actually," Kovu lied. He had decided that making a kill was the only way to impress his friend, and he was determined to do it. He gave a shove, and the aardvark slid a few inches across the floor. Kovu looked at it with loathing - the ugly thing didn't even have the decency to tip over on demand.
"Could you please not do that?" the aardvark asked politely.
"Please stop, Kovu," added Kiara.
An obstinate look came into Kovu's eyes. "Bah! It's only an earth-pig - what use is it?"
Kiara giggled. "You don't know much, do you?"
Kovu hated being mocked. He scowled and flattened his ears. "What's that supposed to mean? Is this about your Circle of Life thing?"
"As a matter of fact, it is," Kiara said haughtily. "Isn't your brother always complaining that your home's infested with termites?"
"Yeah, they're really gross." Kovu pulled a face. "But what's that got to do with..."
Kiara turned to the aardvark. "You said you killed thousands every night. Thousands of what, exactly?"
It blinked. "Why, termites, of course!"
"See, Kovu?" Kiara said smugly.
"Yeah, yeah, I get it," he sighed. "Hey, earth-pig - why don't you scoot along to the Outlander dens? They're just crawling with yummy, yummy termites. Watch out for my mom, though, cos she'll eat you."
"Er...thank you," said the aardvark, sounding very confused. It took a last short-sighted squint at the two lion cubs and waddled away, its long pink tongue hanging out of its mouth in a tight coil.
Kovu shook his head. "I thought this place was meant to be deserted! I wonder what else we're going to run into?"
"At least we haven't seen any ghosts."
"Yet." said Kovu in a deep, throaty voice.
"Oh, shut up!"
Nuka ambled towards home, his skin twitching a little at the persistent termites. He was feeling cheerful for once, and even singing softly to himself. "Someday big brave Nuka, you will be a king...yeeek! Mother!"
His eyes bulged as a bristling Zira pounced on top of him, pinning him to the ground and hissing in his ear:
"Where's Kovu?"
"I dunno! Isn't he with you?"
She seized his scruff in her teeth and shook him like a cub.
"Would I be asking if he was?" She leaped off her son. "Idiot. The whole pride is out looking for him and you're here singing!"
Nuka blushed at being overheard. "I'm sorry, Mother."
"Sorry's not good enough! You're coming with me." Her paw hooked around Nuka's neck and dragged him along.
"Where - are - we - going?" choked poor Nuka. Zira released him and stared balefully eastwards, towards the Pridelands.
"He's with Simba's child, I'm sure of it. And when I find them there's going to be trouble." She whipped round. "Vitani - stay here!"
The little tan cub withdrew obediently into the den, only to emerge again as soon as her mother and brother had disappeared round the corner.
"And miss all the fun? Not likely!" Eyes glinting with mischief, she began to pad stealthily in the older lions' pawprints.
A/N: See my aardvark here:
http://fanart.lionking.org/imgarchive/FanArt/Agent/Aardvark.jpg
Cute, no?