Well, hello! And Welcome to My Little World of Weirdness!
I state for the record that, despite the fact I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the characters that will grace this story; it's all CLAMP's! Always has been, always will be!
Also I don't pretend to have any Mastery over the language of Japanese or any clue as to correct grammatical structure. I put it in and hope it gets across the point I'm trying to make!
"Speaking"
*Stress/emphasis*
//Thinking//
Guardian Beast of the Seal, Wimpy, Scaredy Cat.
By Dr Megalomania.
Part Ten: What Did You Do To Tick Yue Off This Time?
"Hey Sweet?"
"Urghhhh?"
"Could you give me a hand here?" The Flower card struggled as she tried to pick the Little card up.
"Urrrgggghhh! I'm sorry to inform you . . ." the Sweet held her head in both her hands and winced, "The card you once knew as the Sweet card has now departed this life . . ."
The morning came too early for the Sakura cards that had been sleeping the living room windowsill. Not one of them felt capable of flight so Arrow had to fire an arrow up at Sakura's bedroom window, with a rope attached to it because Little was fast asleep still.
"Why the hell can't we wake her up?" Firey pressed her hand against her forehead, for the first time in a really long time her head band was just a little too tight.
A lot of heads swivelled toward Sleep, who tilted her head and rested a hand on her hip, "Bite me . . . I can't help it if she sleeps too close to my sleeping bag."
Twelve other sets of eyes rolled and twelve other heads shook in annoyance as they turned their attention back to the rope.
"Tell me again . . ." Flower broke off as she winced, "Why aren't I under the moon's influence, bloody sunlight!" she muttered before she yelled, "Why aren't we using the stairs?"
The Cloud joined her, much to the annoyance of everyone else, yelled even louder, "Who's ingenious idea is it that we climb up a *rope* to the mistress' bedroom?"
"Well, we can't wake stupid Little so we can't just walk up the stairs, ya freakin' airhead!!" Fight screamed back at her. The cards scowled at each other, each having to contend with splitting headache and the effects of consuming entirely too much popcorn.
While thirteen *really* hung over cards argued below, and the little dreamed on . . .
"So what are thy thoughts upon this delectable situation, sister? Shallt we leave them for a few moments?" The Dark rested her chin on her hand as she rested an elbow on the mistress' bedroom windowsill. The Light mirrored her sister's pose, "Thee knowth me too well sister. We shallt indeed leave them . . . at least until they are half way up the rope, or until one of them figure out that they could have just sent Cloud up to fetch Big, or indeed the Fly . . . which e'er comes first!" The two cards laughed and returned to their card forms. As they drifted back towards the book they paused, "What about the Mirror, should we be waking the child up?"
The Dark card smiled, and nudged her sister towards the book; "Let's leave the little reflection to her true love's dreams."
A sneeze woke the Mirror up, which was a real pity because she was having a dream about Touya and they were at the beach, and he was just coming out the surf, and she was going to reapply the sun cream 'cause she would want her adorable mister To-ya to get all sunbur—
She blushed as she realise that she probably had a huge grin plastered to her face. She blushed even more when she found Nakuru staring speculatively at her. Nakuru smiled and then nodded.
"Nani?" The little girl said as she grabbed a hairbrush that *He* had leant her, she started to brush her hair quickly. She turned away to face her true form's mirror, hoping to conceal the blush that was getting brighter and brighter, greener and greener.
Nakuru chuckled, "You were thinkin' about Kinomoto weren't you?"
The little girl's brushing slower and stopped as she stuttered, "N-n-n-n- no. No, why would you think about that?"
"Oh . . ." Nakuru nodded knowingly, "I look like that in the morning too, especially after ones where he's naked, encased in a pit of strawberry flavoured jelly and I'm the only one that can dig him out . . ." she sighed theatrically, ". . .with nothing but my bare hands and my mouth." She wiped a fake tear from her eye as she sighed again, "It's a hard job but . . ." she shook her fist as if resolved to the task, ". . .someone's gotta do it . . ."
The Mirror's mouth fell open, as she turned around slowly, to gaze at the red haired individual, who put her hands on her hips and cocked her head, "Don't tell me you've never had *that* fantasy?!"
The Mirror's mouth still hung wide open as she shook her head. Nakuru wrapped a sisterly arm around her small shoulders, "My dear sweet Mirror card. . . Darh-ling you are simply not in the same league of having a crush on him until you've had *that* fantasy about that boy . . ."
While Nakuru was corrupting the mirror card. . .
"Good morning Yuki. . ."
"Ohayo To-ymmmmm!!" Yukito barely got the words out before Touya rolled on top of him and pressed his lips hard against the snow-bunny's lips. Yuki's eyes slid shut and he giggled lazily as he wrapped his arms around the dark haired boy. It had been a while since they. . .
. . . and it was going to be a while longer, as Yukito's consciousness faded away from him, and Yue took his place. Touya wasn't really aware of it until he kissed down the pale being's neck, and then for some reason started to choke, he brought his head up and spat out at least (what he felt was) half a wing's worth of feathers. "Blearck!"
Yue gasped, "And what's wrong with my wings?!"
"Yue?" Touya's head jerked in surprise.
"You were, perhaps, expecting—"
"The snow bunny? Yes!" He interrupted irritably.
Yue's face betrayed a quick disappointed look, before he said icily, "Fine! I have to check on Keroberos . . ." he eyed Touya coolly, "I'll return your precious snow bunny-wunny when I'm finished."
Touya sighed and rolled off him, as the half dressed moon guardian rolled off the bed, Touya sat up. "Look, I'm sorry but you surprised me." Yue silently pulled on his leggings, pointedly ignoring him. Touya sat behind him and wrapped his arms around Yue's waist, "Yue . . . You know I love it when you pop in. . ." He murmured seductively into the white haired being's ear. Yue turned his head slightly and glared at him. "You surprised me . . . you could at least give me some kind of warning before you two swap places."
"What kind of warning would you like?" Yue asked sweetly, "Some kind of fax? A telephone call perhaps? An advert on TV?" Yue gasped mockingly, "Oh, I know! A Good Year blimp over the American Super Bowl tournament!!"
Touya raised an eyebrow, "Yue . . . I said I was sorry."
Yue nodded, "Maybe something a little less prominent . . . how about I just have Yukito jump up suddenly, throw off all his clothes and do the Saturday night fever dance, yelling 'Warning! Warning! Being about to transform! Warning! Yue is about to enter the building!' ?!"
"Yue, now you're just being silly . . ."
"Am I?" Yue's eyebrow twitched, "Am I *reeeeeally*?" He stood, and picked up his waistcoat, "And there I thought I was being helpful . . . I mean, you're right . . ." he stood in front of Touya, he had buttoned the waist coat, and was now standing with his hands on his hips, "You're absolutely right, it's not like the transformation is warning enough, I mean it does only last for one whole minute and thirty seconds, and that glowing ice blue magic circle beneath my feet isn't exactly visible, and the whole Yue- sized cocoon of . . ." he tugged at one of his wings, ". . .*huge* white wings, floating two feet off the ground effect. . . isn't *that* obvious? And that gusting magic wind, that moves around me and that Blue circle at gale force speeds, I mean no-one within five feet would notice something like that now–-" he grabbed his coat and shawl, he stood at the door and grasped the handle, "--WOULD THEY?!" He yelled as he slammed the door.
Touya rolled his eyes and ran after the irate guardian . . .
While Touya was trying to sort out his lover's tiff with Yue. . .
"Ohayo Sakura!" Syaoran smiled as he came into the room, he'd had a really nice dream last night, it was all about Sakura, and he had told her that he loved her, and she had laughed, but in that sweet way that she had, and then she had said that she was really happy that he did because she loved him too, and then he had wrapped his arms around her and kissed her and nuzzled her neck, murmuring that he loved her some more and she giggled even more and wrapped her arms around him and---
He paused in the mental recitation of his dream, because Sakura had turned, and blushed and giggled. His first response was to look down at his clothes . . . he was fairly sure he had dressed that morning. He wasn't in his boxers so he assumed his hair was sticking up at unnatural angles. A quick look into the reflected surface of the window proved that he had remembered to brush his hair. "Nani?" He said quietly, he was slightly curious about the nature of her strange behaviour. It was the type of behaviour he remembered seeing when she receive a compliment from Yukito when she was ten. She blushed adorably, he had decided this fact a long time ago, and she didn't quite meet his eyes as she stepped forward. He was still confused when she stepped closer to him, quickly looked up into his eyes, and then leant upward on her tiptoes. She brushed a soft butterfly kiss on his cheek, giggled and then whispered, "Ohayo." She smiled gently, and then turned back to the breakfast she was preparing.
He was stunned, he was more than stunned, he was—
"KAWAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIII!!!!" Tomoyo's excited voice squealed happily.
"To-Tomoyo-chan?!" Sakura spun towards the kitchen door, Tomoyo was happily filming away.
Tomoyo stepped into the room her dreaded camcorder still on, "I had hoped to record 'Early bird Sakura-chan makes breakfast for hungry fellow medical helpers during the Kero-chan Crisis!' but I got something much better!"
Syaoran blinked, he wasn't entirely sure of what was going on. "Ano. . ." he glanced at Sakura who blushed and looked down. Tomoyo looked as if she was going to burst, but she sighed sharply as the two made no further motions towards each other, "Very well, *I* shall make breakfast, Sakura you and Syaoran will go outside and discuss this!"
"Ano. . . ano. . . Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura tried to protest as Tomoyo shoved them out of the patio doors. She slid the door shut as soon as Syaoran stumbled out after Sakura, when he tried to open the door, Tomoyo waved the key, and the curtains quickly slid shut.
"Sakura. . . I. . . you. . ." Syaoran started; as he turned he found Sakura had started to shiver. Without thinking he put his arms around the girl, unlike him, she hadn't gotten completely dressed she was only in her nightgown and some cute silken pink thing . . . not that he looked or anything. He blushed as he realised he had probably enacted his dream out that night, and her responses were probably very real. She smiled and leaned into his hold. "Well . . ." she murmured as she pulled him closer, "At least we're away from prying camcorders . . ."
While Sakura and Syaoran were unaware of Tomoyo videotaping them anyway. . .
"Okay everyone . . ." yelled the Firey, "We're nearly at the top!"
"What do you mean we're nearly at the top?! We're half way between the mistress' bedroom and certain death!" Yelled the last card, which happened to be the Song card.
"What's the matter . . ." the Firey yelled back tauntingly, "Can't handle a little bit of a thrill?"
"High notes are one thing? Heights are quite another!"
The Firey laughed as they climbed towards their goal, the window above them suddenly swung open. A checked hat leaned out of the window. "What the hell is this thing?" The Erase pointed at the arrow that held the fourteen cards on a rope up. The Firey was the first to notice, "Erase! Don't touch that!!"
Erase, of course, didn't hear them and flicked her finger against the tiny arrow, which. . . of course. . . started to disappear.
It was then erase took the time to look to see what was attached to the rope. She put her hand over her mouth, "Whoops!
As the top of the rope fell past her the Firey glared at the erase card. "You're a bitch and I hate you."
"ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!" Thirteen cards screamed as they fell. The Little frown in her sleep, everyone was sure making a lot of noise . . .
While fourteen really Hung-over Sakura cards plunge to the ground . . . *helpless* in the face of impending doom . . .
"Breakfast is ready!!" Tomoyo's call sounded everywhere, Yue looked over his shoulder down the hall. He had locked himself in the bathroom after Touya insulted him. "Stupid Touya!" he quietly groused as he moved towards the mistress' bedroom. "Stupid, damned sexy, stupid Touya!"
"And that's why Touya trapped in a pit of strawberry jelly is my favourite fantasy . . . Trust me you will NOT be able to get it out of your head for the rest of the day!" Yue glanced up at the sound of Ruby Moon's false form's voice. He paused as the Mirror ran out of the room, hands placed firmly over her mouth, the girl was blushing a very entertaining shade of green and fighting back the giggles, "Coming!" She called as she bounced down the steps.
Ruby stood in the doorway, gazing after the Mirror as if she had accomplished something. She turned and spotted Yue. "Mou . . . Dear Eriol!" She gasped, "Are you having a good day or something?"
"What do you mean?" He frowned at her.
"In all the time I've known you, I've never seen you look so happy."
"I look happy?!"
"Well, I've never seen you smile before, so I assumed that you are just the opposite of everybody else!" She held her finger up very matter-of-factly, laughing hard at her obviously unfunny joke.
Yue raised an eyebrow and silently brushed past her. "Why is everyone making fun of me today?"
She turned and rocked on her heels thoughtfully, "Hmmm . . . could it have anything to do with . . . oh, I don't know . . ." she stood shoulder to shoulder with him as he looked down on Keroberos' sleeping form. Her face split into a big grin as she drew in a deep breath, she raised her hands to her face and . . .
"Cute little descendant? Could you make a pass at Sakura?" Syaoran glared at Eriol, as the half reincarnation made his fifth joke, in as many minutes. Eriol slapped his forehead, "I'm sorry I mean could you pass me the strawberry jam. How could I get those two mixed up?"
The Mirror card blushed at the mere mention of strawberry, Meilin, who was sitting opposite was the first to notice. "Is there something wrong with the word strawberry, Card girl?"
"No. . ." The Mirror quickly glanced at Touya, then at the strawberry jam, and blushed, "What would make you think that?"
Sakura sipped her tea, and then turned her head. "Tomoyo-chan? Aren't you hungry?"
The purple haired girl looked briefly from behind her video camera, "No." She shook her head.
A deep satisfied sigh from the door caught the group's attention. Spinel came the closest he ever came to smiling, "Cleeeeean!" he sighed again. The midnight blue panther, who had just came out of the downstairs shower, hopped onto a chair next to Touya, who glanced down at the towel that the panther had secured around his waist. "This might seem like a stupid question . . ." Touya began.
"Knowing my intellect compared to yours . . . it probably is." Spinel spiked himself a piece of toast on one claw. "But what the hell . . . celebrate in your stupidity, ask away!"
Touya ignored the insult and continued. "But why are you wearing a towel?"
Spinel turned to him aghast, "I'm naked!"
Touya looked at Eriol who was nodding in agreement with Spinel, he smiled, "Can't you see he isn't wearing his butterfly collar?"
Touya was about to respond to the utterly nonsense comment when---
"KEH-ROOO-BEEEAR-ROSSSS!! OH!! BY CLOW REED'S SOUL!! HE'S DEAD!!" everyone's head jerked up at the sound of Nakuru's voice. A brief second was spent exchanging questioning glances, before the entire collection of Keroberos' carers rushed up stairs . . .
While the carers ran/bounce/floated/flew/sped walked backwards so not to lose a single shot of the ever-kawaii Sakura up the stairs . . .
The thirteen Sakura cards made their second attempt to ascend to their mistress' bedroom. "Why the hell can't we wake her up?" The Flower snapped irritably as Little tried to roll over on her back. They had elected to tie her to Flower because . . . Flower frowned, "WHY THE HELL AM I CARRYING LITTLE ANYWAY?!"
The Fight was just two cards higher than the burdened Flower; she smirked and called out, "Because you were stupid enough to pick her up, dumb-bell!"
The Flower was about to retort when the Firey yelled, "I've just reached the top!!"
"Yaaaaay!!" Cried the Song card sarcastically, "Now why don't you haul your heavy ass up and let the rest of us get there!"
The Firey scowled, "If I was at my normal size I would *SO* burn you!"
"KEH-ROOO-BEEEAR-ROSSSS!! OH!! BY CLOW REED'S SOUL!! HE'S DEAD!!" the Cards froze at the sound of Nakuru's voice.
"NANI?!" Screamed the cards that were under the sun's influence, the ones under Yue's command stayed silent wondering what their guardian's response would be.
"RUBY MOON!! DON'T SCARE US LIKE THAT!" Clow's reincarnation yelled up, "IT ISN'T FUNNY!!"
The cards sighed in relief, the Firey leaned her forehead the rope, "Arigato Clow-sama. . ." she murmured her little prayer.
The Little woke up slightly, and muttered "No, thank you, mistress Sakura . . . I don't like my croquettes burned. . ."
The Flower sniffed the air, "Hey. . . can anyone else smell that?"
"Smell what?" Said the Shot.
The Sleep smelt the air, "That sort of burning rope kinda smell. . ."
The Firey's head jerked up, "Eh-oh. . ."
Arrow yelled up from beneath her, "What do you mean, 'Eh-oh'?!"
The Firey stared down at her fellow doomed comrades, "Eh heh heeeeh. . . um. . . whoops?"
As the rope smouldered and burnt right through, the Song card yelled up at the Firey, "You're bitch and I hate . . ." The top of the rope began to fall past her, "--YOU!!!" She screamed as Firey plunged head first past her.
"ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!" Thirteen cards screamed as they fell. The Little frown in her sleep, everyone was sure making a lot of noise . . . again . . .
A little while later. . . the fourteen cards made their. . .
. . . *second attempt*. . .
"Oh, feck . . ." the Firey stared up as the window swung open again.
"What is it?"
"It's Watery . . ." she stared at her sister card as the blue skinned woman began to flick the arrow evidently enjoying the bizarre 'twang' noise it made, "NO! WATERY!! DON'T TOUCH THAT---"
"Whoopies . . ." said the Watery as the arrow became loose, she stare apologetically at the Firey.
"You're a bitch and I hate you."
"ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!" Thirteen cards screamed as they fell. The Little frown in her sleep, she wondered where all the rushing air that was blowing hard into her face was coming from . . .
. . . *third attempt*. . .
"I'm getting mighty sick of this climbing lark. . . oh, feck!" The Firey stared up as the window swung open again.
"What is it?"
"This isn't a rope. . ." Firey called as the rope began to giggle and frizzed.
"Then what is it?!"
"It's Illusion!!" as the Illusion changed from a rope to a giant waving hand, Firey spat, "Guess what you are and how much I happen to hate you right now?!"
"ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!" Thirteen cards screamed as they fell. The Little frown in her sleep, again with the noise and the rushing air. . .
. . .fourth attempt. . .
"Oh, feck. . ." the Firey stared up as the window swung open again.
"What is it now?"
"It's the master's reincarntation. . ."
"Well, Fujitaka's okay . . ."
"I know, he's really nice, and helpful isn't he?" The Firey said sweetly before she stared back up at the reincarnation, ". . . Pity's it's not that reincarnation. . ."
"Oh, feck . . ."
"Yep, that's what I said . . ." Firey sighed, "So is everyone agreed? Shall we just let go and get it over and done with already?"
Eriol was a little concerned that when he pulled up the rope to give the Sakura cards a break, and help them up to Sakura's room, the cards weren't attached anymore . . . he shrugged and coiled the rope on the windowsill. As he turned away from the window, he heard a very quiet: "You're a bitch and I hate you. . . ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!" But then again it was very faint and he probably imagined it.
"I still don't get it. . ." Sakura peered at him.
Eriol sighed, he was beginning to wish he hadn't told her the joke. They were on duty together for the first time, and Keroberos (after screaming quite healthfully at Nakuru for waking him up with her dreadful voice.) was fast asleep. Eriol sat beside her and started again, "Okay . . . so a man walks into a bar . . ."
"Right." Sakura nodded attentively.
"And he has three ducks with him . . ." he held up three fingers and wiggled them.
"Gotcha." She wiggled three fingers back.
"And the barkeep, who's curious but doesn't want any trouble, waits until the man has gone to the toilet before asking the ducks why they're here . . ." Eriol paused to check if he had lost her yet.
"Uh-huh . . ."
"He turns to the first duck and says, 'what's your name? And did you have a nice day?' . . ."
"Mmm. . ." she hummed.
Eriol nodded and continued, "And the first duck said, my name's Louie and yeah it's been brilliant . . . I've been in and out of puddles all morning . . ."
"Riiight." This was the point where her understanding began to fade, so Eriol continued a little slower.
"And the barkeep turns to the second duck, and asks the same questions and the second duck replies . . . I'm Douie, and yeah it's been brilliant . . . I've been in and out of puddles all afternoon . . ."
"Uh-huh."
"And the barkeep turns to the third duck, and again he asks what the duck's name is and how his day has been." Eriol began to chuckle it was one of his, and Clow's, favourite jokes, "And then the duck scowls at him and says, 'my name's puddles, and you better keep your hands to yourself cos I'm sick of being the uke!' "
Sakura blinked at him for a bit, "I still don't get it. . ."
Eriol sighed, his attempts to warp Sakura's genki-innocent mind were not going to plan. "Okay, then how about this one? . . . a man goes to the doctor, and pulls down his trousers and shows his backside to the doctor, and the doctor yells, 'My god, man!! what the hell happened?!' and the man says. . ."
While Eriol was telling increasingly dirty jokes to Sakura. . .
"Gaki. . . a word outside. . ." Syaoran gulped slightly as he followed Touya into the garden. Once outside, Touya sighed, "It's true isn't it?"
"About Sakura and me?" Touya nodded silently, Syaoran nodded quietly.
"And what about Meilin?" Touya eyed him, "Last time I heard you two were betrothed to each other. . ."
"We made a deal, that if one of us ever fell in love that we would be able to opt out of the marriage." Syaoran explained simply.
Touya took this in and gazed up at the second floor of the house, "Alright . . . I relinquish her to you. . . but you better be better than me with her!"
"I'll be sure to call her kaijuu every chance I get. . ." Syaoran promised solemnly.
Touya smiled fondly at him, "Aaaah. . . but it mustn't stop there. . . come with me, allow me to teach you in the ways of irritating Sakura. . ."
Later that night. . .
"Syaoran? Could you make a pass at Sakura?" Eriol slapped his head mockingly as he told the same joke again, "I mean, could you pass the sauce?"
As Syaoran came very close to throwing the scalding hot gravy at Eriol's grinning mug, Sakura and Tomoyo carried the last bowls of food in. they had made sure a plate had been made up for Keroberos, but since he was fast asleep, they would have to feed him later. Instead the group gathered around the table, they were confident that Keroberos wasn't in any danger of falling even more ill, so they took the opportunity to catch up. "Eriol. . .?"
"Yes, Sakura?"
"I still don't get the one about the elephant. . ."
"Maybe I should tell you later. . ." he looked down at his plate, the meal looked very appetising, "After we finished eating. . ."
They were all happily chomping away at their meal, when Touya suddenly noticed Yukito was rubbing his foot against Touya's leg. Touya smiled to let Yukito, who was sitting opposite him at the small table, know he had noticed. He looked at Yukito, who winked back, his eyes betraying a very sexual glint. Touya's smile became a little subtler; he didn't want everyone to guess that Yukito was horny. Another fifteen minutes past and the leg stroking stopped, Touya looked up again at Yukito, slightly disappointed. But Yukito looked back and tugged his ear, then scratched the side of his nose, then tapped his fingers under his chin. He smiled and then winked again. Touya didn't get it, but he still smiled as the leg stroking began again. There was something fun and strangely arousing about exchanging little signs with Yukito while the others were here. He looked up again and this time, Yukito tugged his ear, scratched the side of his nose, tapped his fingers under his chin, and then made little walking motions with his fingers on the table cloth, Yukito looked up and winked again. Touya frowned, now he definitely didn't get it. A smile spread over Yukito's face as he stood, and picked up his plate.
"Hoe? Finished already Yukito?" Sakura blinked at the standing snow bunny, whose eyes never lost Touya's.
Yuki ignored her as he hurled his plate at the wall behind Touya, it smashed and the plate's contents slid down the wall, when everyone looked at him in shock, Yukito put his finger against his chin and grinned like a gormless idiot. His voice took on a mocking feminine tone as he laughed insincerely, "Gomeeeen!" He grinned as he continued to stare at Touya, "Whoops, I did I drop my plate? . . . oh no, don't get up! I'll get it!"
He flopped on to the floor and started to crawl under the table towards his smashed plate. The group blinked at each other, and looked under the table as Yukito crawled on his stomach towards Touya. Touya was gaping at Yuki, as he popped up from under the table. Yukito was on his knees, in front of Touya and his head was between Touya's legs . . . any other circumstance, Touya would have been very happy to have Yukito's head between his legs, but not here!
"What are you doing?"
Yukito pressed his fingers against his lips and shushed him loudly, "Shhh! We don't want to alert the others . . . I think I got over here unnoticed, but we can't talk here . . ." he was whispering very loudly, he looked from side to side rapidly, and then motioned Touya closer. "Meet me in the sink under the cupboard!"
"Don't you mean in the cupboard under the sink?"
"Very well, we will meet there if you think it will be more secure!"
He reversed slightly and crawled out from under the table he picked up a broken fragment of his plate and stood very suddenly, "Oh dear!" He announced stiffly very loudly, "It looks like I must go into the *kitchen* and get myself another plate . . . yes, I must go into the *kitchen* *alone*, and get myself a plate *alone*, and I will not be exchanging any information with anyone when I am in there . . . even if they *meet* me in the sink under the cupboard . . ."
Yukito blinked broadly at Touya and then walked stiltedly backwards out of the room. The group stared at the door for a few moments before Yukito's head popped back around the door, "I am getting my plate *now*, just like a good snow bunny-wunny . . . not that it is of any importance to anyone . . . nobody, not even anyone who will *meet* me in the sink under the cupboard . . ."
Eriol started to laugh, not that he knew why or anything, it was sort of like the time Yue had caught his hair, and a tree suffered the consequences of Yue's anger. Syaoran shook his head, "Is anyone else freaked out by that?" Sakura, Nakuru, Spinel, Meilin and Touya raised their hands, "Good, then it's not just me who's freaked out by the snow rabbit's behaviour . . ."
Tomoyo turned to Touya, "I think you are supposed to meet him. . ."
"You think?"
Touya entered the darken kitchen, he sighed and walked over to the sink, at least Yukito wasn't crammed into the washing basin or anything stupid like that. There was a tug at his trousers, and he closed his eyes //tell me that he isn't stuffed into the cupboard . . .// Touya looked down as a pale hand waved at him and slipped back into the cupboard. He sighed and crouched down. "What did you want?"
The hand beckoned him into the cupboard, "Oh no! You must be kidding . . . I am not getting into *that* cupboard."
Yukito's hand became like a snakes head as it in a negative gesture; it grasped the handle of the cupboard beside it and swung the door open.
Touya stared at it; "I am not getting into *that* cupboard either." The hand waved again and then slammed the door, to the cupboard that Yukito was in, shut tightly. Touya stood again, and stared at the cupboard for twenty minutes, it became increasingly clear that Yuki wasn't going to come out. Touya sighed and shook his hands upwards, "Why me?!" He groaned mutely.
Ten minutes later, "Okay, I'm in the cupboard, what is it that you want to tell me . . .?"
"It's actually more of a question. . ." Yuki's voice was still uneven and stupidly high.
Touya sighed, "Okay . . . what is your question then?"
"Come closer . . ." Yuki whispered in the darkness. Touya sighed sharply and shuffled slightly closer, "No closer than that. . ." Touya sighed again as he rearranged himself so he sat with his back to Yukito, he turned his head towards Yukito, who was now kneeling behind him. The snow rabbit chewed slightly on Touya's ear, making Touya shiver with delight even though he was cramped into a cupboard that didn't even come up to his hip. "Closer. . ." Yukito murmured, Touya pushed back against the rabbit, as he wrapped his arms around Touya.
"Okay. . .?" Touya asked quietly.
"Mmm-hmm . . ." hummed Yukito, as he started to kiss and lick the back of Touya's neck. Touya would have been loving this, especially if it was happening in his room, with Yue or Yuki, (or preferably both alternatively) and some nice sensual beats in the background . . . but not here, in the dark cupboard under the sink. "What was it you wanted to ask me?" He managed to ground out before a slight moan escaped his lips.
"I just wanted to know something To-ya. . ." Yuki moved over to the other ear, "Just one small little answer from you. . ." he shuffled around Touya slightly, and pressed his lips against Touya's ear, he whispered, "Can you handle that To-ya? Just one small question?"
"Anything . . ." Touya smiled in the dark as he felt Yuki's cool hand start to unbutton his shirt. He also felt Yuki's smile as he breathed against Touya's ear before . . .
The dining group looked up as Yukito's voice sounded very loudly. "IS THIS WARNING ENOUGH THEN?!"
A few minutes later, Yue stepped into the room coolly, he stepped over the mess Yukito had made when he threw his plate at the wall, and then sat rather quietly at the table, he regarded every person with a cool gaze before he stood again. "I am going to check on Keroberos . . ."
He brushed past Touya as he swept out of the room, Touya sat down rather dazed, and the rest of the diners stared at him quizzically. "All right . . ." Meilin was the first to ask, "I give . . . what did you do to tick Yue off this time?"
As Touya tried to explain, Eriol slipped out of the room, "Yue!" He said softly.
Yue paused on the steps and quietly descended again, "Yes?"
"I . . ." Eriol faltered, then swallowed, "I have something to tell you . . ."
Yue folded his arms, "What is it?"
"It's about Clow . . ."
Yue perched himself on the step before Eriol, and leant forward, his face set in a worried frown. "What is it?"
Eriol raised his hand and stroked his former life's moon guardian's cheek, "He didn't . . . he didn't . . ."
"Didn't what?"
Eriol, or rather Clow, chickened out at the last minute; "He didn't make enough pudding . . . would you like some now?"
Yue's face blanked, "And I was sure you were going to say something that actually had any bearing on my life . . ." he stood and glared, "I'm going to check on Keroberos . . . I'll be sure to pass on what incredible information you have said."
Eriol, or rather Clow, watched Yue sadly as the moon guardian stomped up the stairs no doubt muttering about how stupid Touya was again. Inside his mind, Eriol was standing there tapping his foot impatiently on the ground while a sheepish Clow said, "I'll tell them . . . just not now . . ."
-----------------------
And Now It's Time For LEAVE IT TO DOCTOR MEGALOMANIA!!!
DrM: Konnichiwa!! [Is slightly disturbed by Ruby's silence.
Nakuru: That whole chapter doesn't make any sense . . .
DrM: It does so . . . it's just you must seek the deeper meaning.
Eriol: Hey! You said I could tell the one about the ferret!
DrM: I lied.
Eriol: But it's really good!
DrM: It's sick!
Eriol: But I'm sure Firey would disagreed with you there!
Firey: I just want to mention the fact people have to R&R this . . . and Eriol . . . you are a dead man!
Eriol: Well, yes, DUH! I *am* Clow Reed's reincarnation . . .
DrM: Sorry minna-chan that this has been so late, the evil that is 'real life' kinda had to be addressed, pleeeeease R&R. . . and if anyone can find it in their heart to R&R 'And Then Yue Said, "Bring It On!".' Just *one* more time I will be very happy . . . I can't help it . . . I just can't stand odd numbers, and it's stuck on 69 . . .
Eriol: Not that that's a bad number . . . so anyway, a man walks into a bar, and the barkeep walks up to him with this huge grin plastered on to his face, and the bar keep says, 'I'm gonna sell you this ferret . . . it'll change you life forever' and the man's like--- **POOF!!**[gets transported to the next chapter]
DrM: Well, now Eriol the feisty sex-fiend is safely in the other chapter, I hope all the lovely minna-chan can join me there!! Also . . . I'm thinking of changing the name of this fic, because it really doesn't apply anymore. . . so if you have any ideas, please post them in your reviews!! THANK YOU!!
I state for the record that, despite the fact I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the characters that will grace this story; it's all CLAMP's! Always has been, always will be!
Also I don't pretend to have any Mastery over the language of Japanese or any clue as to correct grammatical structure. I put it in and hope it gets across the point I'm trying to make!
"Speaking"
*Stress/emphasis*
//Thinking//
Guardian Beast of the Seal, Wimpy, Scaredy Cat.
By Dr Megalomania.
Part Ten: What Did You Do To Tick Yue Off This Time?
"Hey Sweet?"
"Urghhhh?"
"Could you give me a hand here?" The Flower card struggled as she tried to pick the Little card up.
"Urrrgggghhh! I'm sorry to inform you . . ." the Sweet held her head in both her hands and winced, "The card you once knew as the Sweet card has now departed this life . . ."
The morning came too early for the Sakura cards that had been sleeping the living room windowsill. Not one of them felt capable of flight so Arrow had to fire an arrow up at Sakura's bedroom window, with a rope attached to it because Little was fast asleep still.
"Why the hell can't we wake her up?" Firey pressed her hand against her forehead, for the first time in a really long time her head band was just a little too tight.
A lot of heads swivelled toward Sleep, who tilted her head and rested a hand on her hip, "Bite me . . . I can't help it if she sleeps too close to my sleeping bag."
Twelve other sets of eyes rolled and twelve other heads shook in annoyance as they turned their attention back to the rope.
"Tell me again . . ." Flower broke off as she winced, "Why aren't I under the moon's influence, bloody sunlight!" she muttered before she yelled, "Why aren't we using the stairs?"
The Cloud joined her, much to the annoyance of everyone else, yelled even louder, "Who's ingenious idea is it that we climb up a *rope* to the mistress' bedroom?"
"Well, we can't wake stupid Little so we can't just walk up the stairs, ya freakin' airhead!!" Fight screamed back at her. The cards scowled at each other, each having to contend with splitting headache and the effects of consuming entirely too much popcorn.
While thirteen *really* hung over cards argued below, and the little dreamed on . . .
"So what are thy thoughts upon this delectable situation, sister? Shallt we leave them for a few moments?" The Dark rested her chin on her hand as she rested an elbow on the mistress' bedroom windowsill. The Light mirrored her sister's pose, "Thee knowth me too well sister. We shallt indeed leave them . . . at least until they are half way up the rope, or until one of them figure out that they could have just sent Cloud up to fetch Big, or indeed the Fly . . . which e'er comes first!" The two cards laughed and returned to their card forms. As they drifted back towards the book they paused, "What about the Mirror, should we be waking the child up?"
The Dark card smiled, and nudged her sister towards the book; "Let's leave the little reflection to her true love's dreams."
A sneeze woke the Mirror up, which was a real pity because she was having a dream about Touya and they were at the beach, and he was just coming out the surf, and she was going to reapply the sun cream 'cause she would want her adorable mister To-ya to get all sunbur—
She blushed as she realise that she probably had a huge grin plastered to her face. She blushed even more when she found Nakuru staring speculatively at her. Nakuru smiled and then nodded.
"Nani?" The little girl said as she grabbed a hairbrush that *He* had leant her, she started to brush her hair quickly. She turned away to face her true form's mirror, hoping to conceal the blush that was getting brighter and brighter, greener and greener.
Nakuru chuckled, "You were thinkin' about Kinomoto weren't you?"
The little girl's brushing slower and stopped as she stuttered, "N-n-n-n- no. No, why would you think about that?"
"Oh . . ." Nakuru nodded knowingly, "I look like that in the morning too, especially after ones where he's naked, encased in a pit of strawberry flavoured jelly and I'm the only one that can dig him out . . ." she sighed theatrically, ". . .with nothing but my bare hands and my mouth." She wiped a fake tear from her eye as she sighed again, "It's a hard job but . . ." she shook her fist as if resolved to the task, ". . .someone's gotta do it . . ."
The Mirror's mouth fell open, as she turned around slowly, to gaze at the red haired individual, who put her hands on her hips and cocked her head, "Don't tell me you've never had *that* fantasy?!"
The Mirror's mouth still hung wide open as she shook her head. Nakuru wrapped a sisterly arm around her small shoulders, "My dear sweet Mirror card. . . Darh-ling you are simply not in the same league of having a crush on him until you've had *that* fantasy about that boy . . ."
While Nakuru was corrupting the mirror card. . .
"Good morning Yuki. . ."
"Ohayo To-ymmmmm!!" Yukito barely got the words out before Touya rolled on top of him and pressed his lips hard against the snow-bunny's lips. Yuki's eyes slid shut and he giggled lazily as he wrapped his arms around the dark haired boy. It had been a while since they. . .
. . . and it was going to be a while longer, as Yukito's consciousness faded away from him, and Yue took his place. Touya wasn't really aware of it until he kissed down the pale being's neck, and then for some reason started to choke, he brought his head up and spat out at least (what he felt was) half a wing's worth of feathers. "Blearck!"
Yue gasped, "And what's wrong with my wings?!"
"Yue?" Touya's head jerked in surprise.
"You were, perhaps, expecting—"
"The snow bunny? Yes!" He interrupted irritably.
Yue's face betrayed a quick disappointed look, before he said icily, "Fine! I have to check on Keroberos . . ." he eyed Touya coolly, "I'll return your precious snow bunny-wunny when I'm finished."
Touya sighed and rolled off him, as the half dressed moon guardian rolled off the bed, Touya sat up. "Look, I'm sorry but you surprised me." Yue silently pulled on his leggings, pointedly ignoring him. Touya sat behind him and wrapped his arms around Yue's waist, "Yue . . . You know I love it when you pop in. . ." He murmured seductively into the white haired being's ear. Yue turned his head slightly and glared at him. "You surprised me . . . you could at least give me some kind of warning before you two swap places."
"What kind of warning would you like?" Yue asked sweetly, "Some kind of fax? A telephone call perhaps? An advert on TV?" Yue gasped mockingly, "Oh, I know! A Good Year blimp over the American Super Bowl tournament!!"
Touya raised an eyebrow, "Yue . . . I said I was sorry."
Yue nodded, "Maybe something a little less prominent . . . how about I just have Yukito jump up suddenly, throw off all his clothes and do the Saturday night fever dance, yelling 'Warning! Warning! Being about to transform! Warning! Yue is about to enter the building!' ?!"
"Yue, now you're just being silly . . ."
"Am I?" Yue's eyebrow twitched, "Am I *reeeeeally*?" He stood, and picked up his waistcoat, "And there I thought I was being helpful . . . I mean, you're right . . ." he stood in front of Touya, he had buttoned the waist coat, and was now standing with his hands on his hips, "You're absolutely right, it's not like the transformation is warning enough, I mean it does only last for one whole minute and thirty seconds, and that glowing ice blue magic circle beneath my feet isn't exactly visible, and the whole Yue- sized cocoon of . . ." he tugged at one of his wings, ". . .*huge* white wings, floating two feet off the ground effect. . . isn't *that* obvious? And that gusting magic wind, that moves around me and that Blue circle at gale force speeds, I mean no-one within five feet would notice something like that now–-" he grabbed his coat and shawl, he stood at the door and grasped the handle, "--WOULD THEY?!" He yelled as he slammed the door.
Touya rolled his eyes and ran after the irate guardian . . .
While Touya was trying to sort out his lover's tiff with Yue. . .
"Ohayo Sakura!" Syaoran smiled as he came into the room, he'd had a really nice dream last night, it was all about Sakura, and he had told her that he loved her, and she had laughed, but in that sweet way that she had, and then she had said that she was really happy that he did because she loved him too, and then he had wrapped his arms around her and kissed her and nuzzled her neck, murmuring that he loved her some more and she giggled even more and wrapped her arms around him and---
He paused in the mental recitation of his dream, because Sakura had turned, and blushed and giggled. His first response was to look down at his clothes . . . he was fairly sure he had dressed that morning. He wasn't in his boxers so he assumed his hair was sticking up at unnatural angles. A quick look into the reflected surface of the window proved that he had remembered to brush his hair. "Nani?" He said quietly, he was slightly curious about the nature of her strange behaviour. It was the type of behaviour he remembered seeing when she receive a compliment from Yukito when she was ten. She blushed adorably, he had decided this fact a long time ago, and she didn't quite meet his eyes as she stepped forward. He was still confused when she stepped closer to him, quickly looked up into his eyes, and then leant upward on her tiptoes. She brushed a soft butterfly kiss on his cheek, giggled and then whispered, "Ohayo." She smiled gently, and then turned back to the breakfast she was preparing.
He was stunned, he was more than stunned, he was—
"KAWAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIII!!!!" Tomoyo's excited voice squealed happily.
"To-Tomoyo-chan?!" Sakura spun towards the kitchen door, Tomoyo was happily filming away.
Tomoyo stepped into the room her dreaded camcorder still on, "I had hoped to record 'Early bird Sakura-chan makes breakfast for hungry fellow medical helpers during the Kero-chan Crisis!' but I got something much better!"
Syaoran blinked, he wasn't entirely sure of what was going on. "Ano. . ." he glanced at Sakura who blushed and looked down. Tomoyo looked as if she was going to burst, but she sighed sharply as the two made no further motions towards each other, "Very well, *I* shall make breakfast, Sakura you and Syaoran will go outside and discuss this!"
"Ano. . . ano. . . Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura tried to protest as Tomoyo shoved them out of the patio doors. She slid the door shut as soon as Syaoran stumbled out after Sakura, when he tried to open the door, Tomoyo waved the key, and the curtains quickly slid shut.
"Sakura. . . I. . . you. . ." Syaoran started; as he turned he found Sakura had started to shiver. Without thinking he put his arms around the girl, unlike him, she hadn't gotten completely dressed she was only in her nightgown and some cute silken pink thing . . . not that he looked or anything. He blushed as he realised he had probably enacted his dream out that night, and her responses were probably very real. She smiled and leaned into his hold. "Well . . ." she murmured as she pulled him closer, "At least we're away from prying camcorders . . ."
While Sakura and Syaoran were unaware of Tomoyo videotaping them anyway. . .
"Okay everyone . . ." yelled the Firey, "We're nearly at the top!"
"What do you mean we're nearly at the top?! We're half way between the mistress' bedroom and certain death!" Yelled the last card, which happened to be the Song card.
"What's the matter . . ." the Firey yelled back tauntingly, "Can't handle a little bit of a thrill?"
"High notes are one thing? Heights are quite another!"
The Firey laughed as they climbed towards their goal, the window above them suddenly swung open. A checked hat leaned out of the window. "What the hell is this thing?" The Erase pointed at the arrow that held the fourteen cards on a rope up. The Firey was the first to notice, "Erase! Don't touch that!!"
Erase, of course, didn't hear them and flicked her finger against the tiny arrow, which. . . of course. . . started to disappear.
It was then erase took the time to look to see what was attached to the rope. She put her hand over her mouth, "Whoops!
As the top of the rope fell past her the Firey glared at the erase card. "You're a bitch and I hate you."
"ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!" Thirteen cards screamed as they fell. The Little frown in her sleep, everyone was sure making a lot of noise . . .
While fourteen really Hung-over Sakura cards plunge to the ground . . . *helpless* in the face of impending doom . . .
"Breakfast is ready!!" Tomoyo's call sounded everywhere, Yue looked over his shoulder down the hall. He had locked himself in the bathroom after Touya insulted him. "Stupid Touya!" he quietly groused as he moved towards the mistress' bedroom. "Stupid, damned sexy, stupid Touya!"
"And that's why Touya trapped in a pit of strawberry jelly is my favourite fantasy . . . Trust me you will NOT be able to get it out of your head for the rest of the day!" Yue glanced up at the sound of Ruby Moon's false form's voice. He paused as the Mirror ran out of the room, hands placed firmly over her mouth, the girl was blushing a very entertaining shade of green and fighting back the giggles, "Coming!" She called as she bounced down the steps.
Ruby stood in the doorway, gazing after the Mirror as if she had accomplished something. She turned and spotted Yue. "Mou . . . Dear Eriol!" She gasped, "Are you having a good day or something?"
"What do you mean?" He frowned at her.
"In all the time I've known you, I've never seen you look so happy."
"I look happy?!"
"Well, I've never seen you smile before, so I assumed that you are just the opposite of everybody else!" She held her finger up very matter-of-factly, laughing hard at her obviously unfunny joke.
Yue raised an eyebrow and silently brushed past her. "Why is everyone making fun of me today?"
She turned and rocked on her heels thoughtfully, "Hmmm . . . could it have anything to do with . . . oh, I don't know . . ." she stood shoulder to shoulder with him as he looked down on Keroberos' sleeping form. Her face split into a big grin as she drew in a deep breath, she raised her hands to her face and . . .
"Cute little descendant? Could you make a pass at Sakura?" Syaoran glared at Eriol, as the half reincarnation made his fifth joke, in as many minutes. Eriol slapped his forehead, "I'm sorry I mean could you pass me the strawberry jam. How could I get those two mixed up?"
The Mirror card blushed at the mere mention of strawberry, Meilin, who was sitting opposite was the first to notice. "Is there something wrong with the word strawberry, Card girl?"
"No. . ." The Mirror quickly glanced at Touya, then at the strawberry jam, and blushed, "What would make you think that?"
Sakura sipped her tea, and then turned her head. "Tomoyo-chan? Aren't you hungry?"
The purple haired girl looked briefly from behind her video camera, "No." She shook her head.
A deep satisfied sigh from the door caught the group's attention. Spinel came the closest he ever came to smiling, "Cleeeeean!" he sighed again. The midnight blue panther, who had just came out of the downstairs shower, hopped onto a chair next to Touya, who glanced down at the towel that the panther had secured around his waist. "This might seem like a stupid question . . ." Touya began.
"Knowing my intellect compared to yours . . . it probably is." Spinel spiked himself a piece of toast on one claw. "But what the hell . . . celebrate in your stupidity, ask away!"
Touya ignored the insult and continued. "But why are you wearing a towel?"
Spinel turned to him aghast, "I'm naked!"
Touya looked at Eriol who was nodding in agreement with Spinel, he smiled, "Can't you see he isn't wearing his butterfly collar?"
Touya was about to respond to the utterly nonsense comment when---
"KEH-ROOO-BEEEAR-ROSSSS!! OH!! BY CLOW REED'S SOUL!! HE'S DEAD!!" everyone's head jerked up at the sound of Nakuru's voice. A brief second was spent exchanging questioning glances, before the entire collection of Keroberos' carers rushed up stairs . . .
While the carers ran/bounce/floated/flew/sped walked backwards so not to lose a single shot of the ever-kawaii Sakura up the stairs . . .
The thirteen Sakura cards made their second attempt to ascend to their mistress' bedroom. "Why the hell can't we wake her up?" The Flower snapped irritably as Little tried to roll over on her back. They had elected to tie her to Flower because . . . Flower frowned, "WHY THE HELL AM I CARRYING LITTLE ANYWAY?!"
The Fight was just two cards higher than the burdened Flower; she smirked and called out, "Because you were stupid enough to pick her up, dumb-bell!"
The Flower was about to retort when the Firey yelled, "I've just reached the top!!"
"Yaaaaay!!" Cried the Song card sarcastically, "Now why don't you haul your heavy ass up and let the rest of us get there!"
The Firey scowled, "If I was at my normal size I would *SO* burn you!"
"KEH-ROOO-BEEEAR-ROSSSS!! OH!! BY CLOW REED'S SOUL!! HE'S DEAD!!" the Cards froze at the sound of Nakuru's voice.
"NANI?!" Screamed the cards that were under the sun's influence, the ones under Yue's command stayed silent wondering what their guardian's response would be.
"RUBY MOON!! DON'T SCARE US LIKE THAT!" Clow's reincarnation yelled up, "IT ISN'T FUNNY!!"
The cards sighed in relief, the Firey leaned her forehead the rope, "Arigato Clow-sama. . ." she murmured her little prayer.
The Little woke up slightly, and muttered "No, thank you, mistress Sakura . . . I don't like my croquettes burned. . ."
The Flower sniffed the air, "Hey. . . can anyone else smell that?"
"Smell what?" Said the Shot.
The Sleep smelt the air, "That sort of burning rope kinda smell. . ."
The Firey's head jerked up, "Eh-oh. . ."
Arrow yelled up from beneath her, "What do you mean, 'Eh-oh'?!"
The Firey stared down at her fellow doomed comrades, "Eh heh heeeeh. . . um. . . whoops?"
As the rope smouldered and burnt right through, the Song card yelled up at the Firey, "You're bitch and I hate . . ." The top of the rope began to fall past her, "--YOU!!!" She screamed as Firey plunged head first past her.
"ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!" Thirteen cards screamed as they fell. The Little frown in her sleep, everyone was sure making a lot of noise . . . again . . .
A little while later. . . the fourteen cards made their. . .
. . . *second attempt*. . .
"Oh, feck . . ." the Firey stared up as the window swung open again.
"What is it?"
"It's Watery . . ." she stared at her sister card as the blue skinned woman began to flick the arrow evidently enjoying the bizarre 'twang' noise it made, "NO! WATERY!! DON'T TOUCH THAT---"
"Whoopies . . ." said the Watery as the arrow became loose, she stare apologetically at the Firey.
"You're a bitch and I hate you."
"ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!" Thirteen cards screamed as they fell. The Little frown in her sleep, she wondered where all the rushing air that was blowing hard into her face was coming from . . .
. . . *third attempt*. . .
"I'm getting mighty sick of this climbing lark. . . oh, feck!" The Firey stared up as the window swung open again.
"What is it?"
"This isn't a rope. . ." Firey called as the rope began to giggle and frizzed.
"Then what is it?!"
"It's Illusion!!" as the Illusion changed from a rope to a giant waving hand, Firey spat, "Guess what you are and how much I happen to hate you right now?!"
"ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!" Thirteen cards screamed as they fell. The Little frown in her sleep, again with the noise and the rushing air. . .
. . .fourth attempt. . .
"Oh, feck. . ." the Firey stared up as the window swung open again.
"What is it now?"
"It's the master's reincarntation. . ."
"Well, Fujitaka's okay . . ."
"I know, he's really nice, and helpful isn't he?" The Firey said sweetly before she stared back up at the reincarnation, ". . . Pity's it's not that reincarnation. . ."
"Oh, feck . . ."
"Yep, that's what I said . . ." Firey sighed, "So is everyone agreed? Shall we just let go and get it over and done with already?"
Eriol was a little concerned that when he pulled up the rope to give the Sakura cards a break, and help them up to Sakura's room, the cards weren't attached anymore . . . he shrugged and coiled the rope on the windowsill. As he turned away from the window, he heard a very quiet: "You're a bitch and I hate you. . . ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!" But then again it was very faint and he probably imagined it.
"I still don't get it. . ." Sakura peered at him.
Eriol sighed, he was beginning to wish he hadn't told her the joke. They were on duty together for the first time, and Keroberos (after screaming quite healthfully at Nakuru for waking him up with her dreadful voice.) was fast asleep. Eriol sat beside her and started again, "Okay . . . so a man walks into a bar . . ."
"Right." Sakura nodded attentively.
"And he has three ducks with him . . ." he held up three fingers and wiggled them.
"Gotcha." She wiggled three fingers back.
"And the barkeep, who's curious but doesn't want any trouble, waits until the man has gone to the toilet before asking the ducks why they're here . . ." Eriol paused to check if he had lost her yet.
"Uh-huh . . ."
"He turns to the first duck and says, 'what's your name? And did you have a nice day?' . . ."
"Mmm. . ." she hummed.
Eriol nodded and continued, "And the first duck said, my name's Louie and yeah it's been brilliant . . . I've been in and out of puddles all morning . . ."
"Riiight." This was the point where her understanding began to fade, so Eriol continued a little slower.
"And the barkeep turns to the second duck, and asks the same questions and the second duck replies . . . I'm Douie, and yeah it's been brilliant . . . I've been in and out of puddles all afternoon . . ."
"Uh-huh."
"And the barkeep turns to the third duck, and again he asks what the duck's name is and how his day has been." Eriol began to chuckle it was one of his, and Clow's, favourite jokes, "And then the duck scowls at him and says, 'my name's puddles, and you better keep your hands to yourself cos I'm sick of being the uke!' "
Sakura blinked at him for a bit, "I still don't get it. . ."
Eriol sighed, his attempts to warp Sakura's genki-innocent mind were not going to plan. "Okay, then how about this one? . . . a man goes to the doctor, and pulls down his trousers and shows his backside to the doctor, and the doctor yells, 'My god, man!! what the hell happened?!' and the man says. . ."
While Eriol was telling increasingly dirty jokes to Sakura. . .
"Gaki. . . a word outside. . ." Syaoran gulped slightly as he followed Touya into the garden. Once outside, Touya sighed, "It's true isn't it?"
"About Sakura and me?" Touya nodded silently, Syaoran nodded quietly.
"And what about Meilin?" Touya eyed him, "Last time I heard you two were betrothed to each other. . ."
"We made a deal, that if one of us ever fell in love that we would be able to opt out of the marriage." Syaoran explained simply.
Touya took this in and gazed up at the second floor of the house, "Alright . . . I relinquish her to you. . . but you better be better than me with her!"
"I'll be sure to call her kaijuu every chance I get. . ." Syaoran promised solemnly.
Touya smiled fondly at him, "Aaaah. . . but it mustn't stop there. . . come with me, allow me to teach you in the ways of irritating Sakura. . ."
Later that night. . .
"Syaoran? Could you make a pass at Sakura?" Eriol slapped his head mockingly as he told the same joke again, "I mean, could you pass the sauce?"
As Syaoran came very close to throwing the scalding hot gravy at Eriol's grinning mug, Sakura and Tomoyo carried the last bowls of food in. they had made sure a plate had been made up for Keroberos, but since he was fast asleep, they would have to feed him later. Instead the group gathered around the table, they were confident that Keroberos wasn't in any danger of falling even more ill, so they took the opportunity to catch up. "Eriol. . .?"
"Yes, Sakura?"
"I still don't get the one about the elephant. . ."
"Maybe I should tell you later. . ." he looked down at his plate, the meal looked very appetising, "After we finished eating. . ."
They were all happily chomping away at their meal, when Touya suddenly noticed Yukito was rubbing his foot against Touya's leg. Touya smiled to let Yukito, who was sitting opposite him at the small table, know he had noticed. He looked at Yukito, who winked back, his eyes betraying a very sexual glint. Touya's smile became a little subtler; he didn't want everyone to guess that Yukito was horny. Another fifteen minutes past and the leg stroking stopped, Touya looked up again at Yukito, slightly disappointed. But Yukito looked back and tugged his ear, then scratched the side of his nose, then tapped his fingers under his chin. He smiled and then winked again. Touya didn't get it, but he still smiled as the leg stroking began again. There was something fun and strangely arousing about exchanging little signs with Yukito while the others were here. He looked up again and this time, Yukito tugged his ear, scratched the side of his nose, tapped his fingers under his chin, and then made little walking motions with his fingers on the table cloth, Yukito looked up and winked again. Touya frowned, now he definitely didn't get it. A smile spread over Yukito's face as he stood, and picked up his plate.
"Hoe? Finished already Yukito?" Sakura blinked at the standing snow bunny, whose eyes never lost Touya's.
Yuki ignored her as he hurled his plate at the wall behind Touya, it smashed and the plate's contents slid down the wall, when everyone looked at him in shock, Yukito put his finger against his chin and grinned like a gormless idiot. His voice took on a mocking feminine tone as he laughed insincerely, "Gomeeeen!" He grinned as he continued to stare at Touya, "Whoops, I did I drop my plate? . . . oh no, don't get up! I'll get it!"
He flopped on to the floor and started to crawl under the table towards his smashed plate. The group blinked at each other, and looked under the table as Yukito crawled on his stomach towards Touya. Touya was gaping at Yuki, as he popped up from under the table. Yukito was on his knees, in front of Touya and his head was between Touya's legs . . . any other circumstance, Touya would have been very happy to have Yukito's head between his legs, but not here!
"What are you doing?"
Yukito pressed his fingers against his lips and shushed him loudly, "Shhh! We don't want to alert the others . . . I think I got over here unnoticed, but we can't talk here . . ." he was whispering very loudly, he looked from side to side rapidly, and then motioned Touya closer. "Meet me in the sink under the cupboard!"
"Don't you mean in the cupboard under the sink?"
"Very well, we will meet there if you think it will be more secure!"
He reversed slightly and crawled out from under the table he picked up a broken fragment of his plate and stood very suddenly, "Oh dear!" He announced stiffly very loudly, "It looks like I must go into the *kitchen* and get myself another plate . . . yes, I must go into the *kitchen* *alone*, and get myself a plate *alone*, and I will not be exchanging any information with anyone when I am in there . . . even if they *meet* me in the sink under the cupboard . . ."
Yukito blinked broadly at Touya and then walked stiltedly backwards out of the room. The group stared at the door for a few moments before Yukito's head popped back around the door, "I am getting my plate *now*, just like a good snow bunny-wunny . . . not that it is of any importance to anyone . . . nobody, not even anyone who will *meet* me in the sink under the cupboard . . ."
Eriol started to laugh, not that he knew why or anything, it was sort of like the time Yue had caught his hair, and a tree suffered the consequences of Yue's anger. Syaoran shook his head, "Is anyone else freaked out by that?" Sakura, Nakuru, Spinel, Meilin and Touya raised their hands, "Good, then it's not just me who's freaked out by the snow rabbit's behaviour . . ."
Tomoyo turned to Touya, "I think you are supposed to meet him. . ."
"You think?"
Touya entered the darken kitchen, he sighed and walked over to the sink, at least Yukito wasn't crammed into the washing basin or anything stupid like that. There was a tug at his trousers, and he closed his eyes //tell me that he isn't stuffed into the cupboard . . .// Touya looked down as a pale hand waved at him and slipped back into the cupboard. He sighed and crouched down. "What did you want?"
The hand beckoned him into the cupboard, "Oh no! You must be kidding . . . I am not getting into *that* cupboard."
Yukito's hand became like a snakes head as it in a negative gesture; it grasped the handle of the cupboard beside it and swung the door open.
Touya stared at it; "I am not getting into *that* cupboard either." The hand waved again and then slammed the door, to the cupboard that Yukito was in, shut tightly. Touya stood again, and stared at the cupboard for twenty minutes, it became increasingly clear that Yuki wasn't going to come out. Touya sighed and shook his hands upwards, "Why me?!" He groaned mutely.
Ten minutes later, "Okay, I'm in the cupboard, what is it that you want to tell me . . .?"
"It's actually more of a question. . ." Yuki's voice was still uneven and stupidly high.
Touya sighed, "Okay . . . what is your question then?"
"Come closer . . ." Yuki whispered in the darkness. Touya sighed sharply and shuffled slightly closer, "No closer than that. . ." Touya sighed again as he rearranged himself so he sat with his back to Yukito, he turned his head towards Yukito, who was now kneeling behind him. The snow rabbit chewed slightly on Touya's ear, making Touya shiver with delight even though he was cramped into a cupboard that didn't even come up to his hip. "Closer. . ." Yukito murmured, Touya pushed back against the rabbit, as he wrapped his arms around Touya.
"Okay. . .?" Touya asked quietly.
"Mmm-hmm . . ." hummed Yukito, as he started to kiss and lick the back of Touya's neck. Touya would have been loving this, especially if it was happening in his room, with Yue or Yuki, (or preferably both alternatively) and some nice sensual beats in the background . . . but not here, in the dark cupboard under the sink. "What was it you wanted to ask me?" He managed to ground out before a slight moan escaped his lips.
"I just wanted to know something To-ya. . ." Yuki moved over to the other ear, "Just one small little answer from you. . ." he shuffled around Touya slightly, and pressed his lips against Touya's ear, he whispered, "Can you handle that To-ya? Just one small question?"
"Anything . . ." Touya smiled in the dark as he felt Yuki's cool hand start to unbutton his shirt. He also felt Yuki's smile as he breathed against Touya's ear before . . .
The dining group looked up as Yukito's voice sounded very loudly. "IS THIS WARNING ENOUGH THEN?!"
A few minutes later, Yue stepped into the room coolly, he stepped over the mess Yukito had made when he threw his plate at the wall, and then sat rather quietly at the table, he regarded every person with a cool gaze before he stood again. "I am going to check on Keroberos . . ."
He brushed past Touya as he swept out of the room, Touya sat down rather dazed, and the rest of the diners stared at him quizzically. "All right . . ." Meilin was the first to ask, "I give . . . what did you do to tick Yue off this time?"
As Touya tried to explain, Eriol slipped out of the room, "Yue!" He said softly.
Yue paused on the steps and quietly descended again, "Yes?"
"I . . ." Eriol faltered, then swallowed, "I have something to tell you . . ."
Yue folded his arms, "What is it?"
"It's about Clow . . ."
Yue perched himself on the step before Eriol, and leant forward, his face set in a worried frown. "What is it?"
Eriol raised his hand and stroked his former life's moon guardian's cheek, "He didn't . . . he didn't . . ."
"Didn't what?"
Eriol, or rather Clow, chickened out at the last minute; "He didn't make enough pudding . . . would you like some now?"
Yue's face blanked, "And I was sure you were going to say something that actually had any bearing on my life . . ." he stood and glared, "I'm going to check on Keroberos . . . I'll be sure to pass on what incredible information you have said."
Eriol, or rather Clow, watched Yue sadly as the moon guardian stomped up the stairs no doubt muttering about how stupid Touya was again. Inside his mind, Eriol was standing there tapping his foot impatiently on the ground while a sheepish Clow said, "I'll tell them . . . just not now . . ."
-----------------------
And Now It's Time For LEAVE IT TO DOCTOR MEGALOMANIA!!!
DrM: Konnichiwa!! [Is slightly disturbed by Ruby's silence.
Nakuru: That whole chapter doesn't make any sense . . .
DrM: It does so . . . it's just you must seek the deeper meaning.
Eriol: Hey! You said I could tell the one about the ferret!
DrM: I lied.
Eriol: But it's really good!
DrM: It's sick!
Eriol: But I'm sure Firey would disagreed with you there!
Firey: I just want to mention the fact people have to R&R this . . . and Eriol . . . you are a dead man!
Eriol: Well, yes, DUH! I *am* Clow Reed's reincarnation . . .
DrM: Sorry minna-chan that this has been so late, the evil that is 'real life' kinda had to be addressed, pleeeeease R&R. . . and if anyone can find it in their heart to R&R 'And Then Yue Said, "Bring It On!".' Just *one* more time I will be very happy . . . I can't help it . . . I just can't stand odd numbers, and it's stuck on 69 . . .
Eriol: Not that that's a bad number . . . so anyway, a man walks into a bar, and the barkeep walks up to him with this huge grin plastered on to his face, and the bar keep says, 'I'm gonna sell you this ferret . . . it'll change you life forever' and the man's like--- **POOF!!**[gets transported to the next chapter]
DrM: Well, now Eriol the feisty sex-fiend is safely in the other chapter, I hope all the lovely minna-chan can join me there!! Also . . . I'm thinking of changing the name of this fic, because it really doesn't apply anymore. . . so if you have any ideas, please post them in your reviews!! THANK YOU!!