Que Je Me Souviens
I think that now, more than ever, it's the memories that keep me awake at night and at day, that stand my hair on end and widen my pupils and whisper in my ear of things left behind.
By name and nature Wild…my brain flowed to the sound of pouring liquor and my heart beat to the base drum and my blood was hydrochloric and it burned in veins and thudded through atria and pounded against valves demanding faster faster, which was me all over again. Faster and faster.
I remember the decadence and the sex and the sheer candyland of it all had us swimming in champagne…
I remember it was day—surprising, because those times had the sun down beneath the horizon paying homage to the god of rhinestones and darkness—and we were walking through the garden and I could see his long pale fingers gripping the glass and his lips were moving, talking to me, laughing and smiling and I couldn't hear a word he was saying and all I could think was where had he come from, this strange blue-haired creature .
And I remember the squeal of the guitar and the glitter in his hair as he knelt and plucked the strings like they were spaghetti under his glowing teeth.
That press conference, a press conference only Maxwell Demon could pull off, as he stood there like the ringleader of some fantastic circus, poised and vivid and ornate. I remember moving closer and closer until his eyes were the whole world and his lips under mine and over mine and all around and it was the dark space behind my eyes, his eyes and the camera flashes.
After that the sun seemed to have slipped off forever, because the nights were so long and so…so Brian Slade. He would stretch out and look up at me with his long pale legs and slender hips and his arms outstretched. And he would close full lips over mine and say he liked my hair and let's do it again, let's do it again, Curt Curt Curt Wild and he sang my name and wrapped long surgeon's fingers around mine.
I remember him lean and bare-chested whispering Don't forget me Curt and you are Wild, it's you, it's your image, be who you are and he fastened the pin to my lapel. I swam in its green depths long after he was gone.