Friction, and Smoothing Things Out
Amanda and Jesse were not the only ones with that particular desire. Mark sat down in his office, in his big, leather office chair, and for the first time in a fortnight felt that a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He then remembered what had lifted the weight, and was horrified at his own actions.
"Did I just shout at Jesse?" Mark asked himself. "Did I just say all those things to him?" All of Mark's stress had been relieved, but to someone who definitely did not deserve it.
He remembered the look on Jesse's face. The young man's eyes were filled with fear, and his face was abnormally pale. "How could I have done that to him? How could I have been so appalling?"
Mark recounted the past few days. He tried to remember the last time he had smiled, or paid someone a compliment, or laughed at something. The memory was too distant for his liking. He had been so wrapped up in the case that he had become miserable and grumpy, and selfish too.
Then he remembered the look on Amanda's face. She had looked slightly frightened, too. But mainly, she bore a look of shock and alarm on her face. Mark kept repeating the same question, "How could I have done that?"
It was the case that was bothering him. This case. The case of the Carolina Street Bomber. He kept asking himself a question that others had been asking themselves. "Why this case?"
The answer was an entanglement of different emotions. He had a lot of anger against this person, because they had taken lives and had caused so much damage in the city. This anger had developed to a starving desire to catch the person behind the bombings, but there was something else. He felt sorry for the person. He really did. He felt sorry in that this person lost people in their life. "Tim, Lucy, and Joshua," he muttered to himself. And, this person was using bombings as a way of showing his feelings. It seemed to be that extreme.
Mark realised all too soon that he had let his feelings and emotions get in the way of everything else. He had been treating his friends and colleagues with a bad temper, his bedside manner with his patients was probably very off-putting, and on top of that, he had just caused a huge scene and shouted at Jesse, one of his best friends.
He had to go and apologise, before he did anything else.
Mark left the room, and searched the hospital for any sign of Jesse. Finally, he asked a nurse at the lobby if she had seen him.
"I'm sorry, Doctor Sloan," said the nurse, "but Doctor Travis signed out about twenty minutes ago. He wasn't feeling very well."
Mark sighed. He thought about phoning Jesse, but decided against it. He had to apologise in person. No other way would work.
Jesse phoned in sick the next day. He called Amanda, saying that he couldn't face Mark that day.
"You've got to face him sometime," Amanda said. "He's your boss!"
"I know," replied Jesse. "I know, but not today. Tomorrow, I'll be fine."
Amanda put the phone down, and sighed. She had not seen Mark that day, but was not planning on meeting him if she could help it. Although she was not the one who was shouted at the previous night, she was still very wary of Mark, and was not entirely sure if he had calmed down or not.
A few minutes later, she was paid a visit from the younger of the Sloan men.
"Hi," Amanda greeted quietly, studying a file from one of the victims of the previous day.
"Hi, Amanda," Steve greeted. "Have you seen Dad anywhere? He left early this morning, and I never saw him last night."
Amanda saw that Steve genuinely had no idea what had happened the day before.
"I don't know where he is," she said blankly. "I haven't seen him since last night." She changed the subject. "Find anything at the site yesterday?"
"Another dedication, this time to someone called Stacy."
"Anything else?"
"A security tape," Steve said with a grin. "We are going to have a look at it today. It may not show much, because it tapes from across the street, but it will be worth a look."
Amanda sighed with relief. "Finally, some evidence."
"I know," Steve agreed. "Perhaps we can finally get this guy."
"And everything can return back to normal."
Steve looked at Amanda for a moment, and said, "I missed something, didn't I?"
"You could say that," Amanda replied.
Steve turned to the door. "I'm gonna look for Jesse. Perhaps he can give me a straight answer."
He did not wait for a reply from Amanda as he left. She chuckled as she watched him leave, and merely said, "good luck."
Mark did not go to see Amanda that day. He was so ashamed of his behaviour that he could not face her that day. Instead, he absorbed himself in his work at the hospital, making a better impression on his patients than he had been doing for the past few days. He decided to talk to both her and Jesse the following day.
The day arrived, and Mark began by talking to Amanda. They sat down at a table in the Doctors' Lounge, and after a stiff silence, Mark began.
"Amanda, I want to apologise to you," Mark began.
"I don't think it is me who needs the apology," Amanda stated.
"Hear me out," Mark said. "I want to apologise for my behaviour over the past days. I got so wound up in this case; I forgot everyone and everything else, especially my friends. All that is going to change now."
"How?" Amanda asked sceptically.
"I'm going to make it happen. There have been a lot of reasons that this case has been bothering me. I am going to stop it right now. I am going to treat it like any other case, as far as possible."
Amanda looked up at the man, a father figure to everyone, and saw the authenticity in his eyes. She nodded. "I believe you, and I will feel better once you tell this to Jesse."
"I have been trying to find him all morning, but I think he has been avoiding me, and with good reason, too," he added.
"If you don't find him, I will, and I'll tell him that everything is okay now."
After searching the hospital, Mark consulted Amanda, telling her that there was no sign on him.
"He could be out to lunch," Amanda said. Mark nodded, and he too left for his lunch. Whilst he was out, Amanda paged Jesse.
"Hey, Amanda, what's up?" Jesse asked as she answered the phone.
"Mark has spent the whole morning looking for you," Amanda told him.
After a moment of silence, Amanda continued, "He is looking for you to apologise to you. He is really sorry, trust me."
"You're just saying that to make me feel better," Jesse said.
"You don't believe me?"
"Guess I don't believe Dr Sloan." Amanda tried for a few more minutes to let Jesse believe her, but to no avail.
A little later, Jesse was sitting in the Doctors Lounge by himself, his back to the door as he sat thinking.
He was reliving the moment when Mark shouted at him two nights ago. The last few words had upset him the most. "You will pay for that mistake." Jesse shuddered at the memory. Was this how he was paying for it?
As he was thinking, Mark walked past the room and saw Jesse there. Finally, he thought to himself.
He hoped to be tactful in what he was going to say. "Jesse," he began, still waiting at the doorframe. Jesse tensed very slightly, but did not look around. Mark tried not to let this put him off.
"Jesse, I'm sorry," Mark said. "I am sorry for the way I have been acting lately, and for the what I said the other day." After a pause, he continued. "I haven't been myself. It's because of this case; it has been getting to me a lot. But, that is no excuse for my behaviour. There is no excuse for the way I acted. I should not have let it happened. I take back everything I said."
He had finally said the words that meant everything for Jesse. As Mark turned to leave, Jesse twisted around in his seat. "I forgive you, Mark."
Mark turned back. "You do?"
"Yeah," Jesse replied. After a moment, he stood up, and said, "Welcome back, Mark."
Mark stood for a moment, wondering what he had meant by that. "Why welcome back?" he asked.
"You weren't you since this case began. You are you now." Through Jesse's senseless speech, Mark understood exactly what Jesse meant. "Just promise that you won't go all crazy over a case again."
Mark held up his hand as a salute. "I promise," he said, chuckling afterwards.
Amanda and Jesse were not the only ones with that particular desire. Mark sat down in his office, in his big, leather office chair, and for the first time in a fortnight felt that a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He then remembered what had lifted the weight, and was horrified at his own actions.
"Did I just shout at Jesse?" Mark asked himself. "Did I just say all those things to him?" All of Mark's stress had been relieved, but to someone who definitely did not deserve it.
He remembered the look on Jesse's face. The young man's eyes were filled with fear, and his face was abnormally pale. "How could I have done that to him? How could I have been so appalling?"
Mark recounted the past few days. He tried to remember the last time he had smiled, or paid someone a compliment, or laughed at something. The memory was too distant for his liking. He had been so wrapped up in the case that he had become miserable and grumpy, and selfish too.
Then he remembered the look on Amanda's face. She had looked slightly frightened, too. But mainly, she bore a look of shock and alarm on her face. Mark kept repeating the same question, "How could I have done that?"
It was the case that was bothering him. This case. The case of the Carolina Street Bomber. He kept asking himself a question that others had been asking themselves. "Why this case?"
The answer was an entanglement of different emotions. He had a lot of anger against this person, because they had taken lives and had caused so much damage in the city. This anger had developed to a starving desire to catch the person behind the bombings, but there was something else. He felt sorry for the person. He really did. He felt sorry in that this person lost people in their life. "Tim, Lucy, and Joshua," he muttered to himself. And, this person was using bombings as a way of showing his feelings. It seemed to be that extreme.
Mark realised all too soon that he had let his feelings and emotions get in the way of everything else. He had been treating his friends and colleagues with a bad temper, his bedside manner with his patients was probably very off-putting, and on top of that, he had just caused a huge scene and shouted at Jesse, one of his best friends.
He had to go and apologise, before he did anything else.
Mark left the room, and searched the hospital for any sign of Jesse. Finally, he asked a nurse at the lobby if she had seen him.
"I'm sorry, Doctor Sloan," said the nurse, "but Doctor Travis signed out about twenty minutes ago. He wasn't feeling very well."
Mark sighed. He thought about phoning Jesse, but decided against it. He had to apologise in person. No other way would work.
Jesse phoned in sick the next day. He called Amanda, saying that he couldn't face Mark that day.
"You've got to face him sometime," Amanda said. "He's your boss!"
"I know," replied Jesse. "I know, but not today. Tomorrow, I'll be fine."
Amanda put the phone down, and sighed. She had not seen Mark that day, but was not planning on meeting him if she could help it. Although she was not the one who was shouted at the previous night, she was still very wary of Mark, and was not entirely sure if he had calmed down or not.
A few minutes later, she was paid a visit from the younger of the Sloan men.
"Hi," Amanda greeted quietly, studying a file from one of the victims of the previous day.
"Hi, Amanda," Steve greeted. "Have you seen Dad anywhere? He left early this morning, and I never saw him last night."
Amanda saw that Steve genuinely had no idea what had happened the day before.
"I don't know where he is," she said blankly. "I haven't seen him since last night." She changed the subject. "Find anything at the site yesterday?"
"Another dedication, this time to someone called Stacy."
"Anything else?"
"A security tape," Steve said with a grin. "We are going to have a look at it today. It may not show much, because it tapes from across the street, but it will be worth a look."
Amanda sighed with relief. "Finally, some evidence."
"I know," Steve agreed. "Perhaps we can finally get this guy."
"And everything can return back to normal."
Steve looked at Amanda for a moment, and said, "I missed something, didn't I?"
"You could say that," Amanda replied.
Steve turned to the door. "I'm gonna look for Jesse. Perhaps he can give me a straight answer."
He did not wait for a reply from Amanda as he left. She chuckled as she watched him leave, and merely said, "good luck."
Mark did not go to see Amanda that day. He was so ashamed of his behaviour that he could not face her that day. Instead, he absorbed himself in his work at the hospital, making a better impression on his patients than he had been doing for the past few days. He decided to talk to both her and Jesse the following day.
The day arrived, and Mark began by talking to Amanda. They sat down at a table in the Doctors' Lounge, and after a stiff silence, Mark began.
"Amanda, I want to apologise to you," Mark began.
"I don't think it is me who needs the apology," Amanda stated.
"Hear me out," Mark said. "I want to apologise for my behaviour over the past days. I got so wound up in this case; I forgot everyone and everything else, especially my friends. All that is going to change now."
"How?" Amanda asked sceptically.
"I'm going to make it happen. There have been a lot of reasons that this case has been bothering me. I am going to stop it right now. I am going to treat it like any other case, as far as possible."
Amanda looked up at the man, a father figure to everyone, and saw the authenticity in his eyes. She nodded. "I believe you, and I will feel better once you tell this to Jesse."
"I have been trying to find him all morning, but I think he has been avoiding me, and with good reason, too," he added.
"If you don't find him, I will, and I'll tell him that everything is okay now."
After searching the hospital, Mark consulted Amanda, telling her that there was no sign on him.
"He could be out to lunch," Amanda said. Mark nodded, and he too left for his lunch. Whilst he was out, Amanda paged Jesse.
"Hey, Amanda, what's up?" Jesse asked as she answered the phone.
"Mark has spent the whole morning looking for you," Amanda told him.
After a moment of silence, Amanda continued, "He is looking for you to apologise to you. He is really sorry, trust me."
"You're just saying that to make me feel better," Jesse said.
"You don't believe me?"
"Guess I don't believe Dr Sloan." Amanda tried for a few more minutes to let Jesse believe her, but to no avail.
A little later, Jesse was sitting in the Doctors Lounge by himself, his back to the door as he sat thinking.
He was reliving the moment when Mark shouted at him two nights ago. The last few words had upset him the most. "You will pay for that mistake." Jesse shuddered at the memory. Was this how he was paying for it?
As he was thinking, Mark walked past the room and saw Jesse there. Finally, he thought to himself.
He hoped to be tactful in what he was going to say. "Jesse," he began, still waiting at the doorframe. Jesse tensed very slightly, but did not look around. Mark tried not to let this put him off.
"Jesse, I'm sorry," Mark said. "I am sorry for the way I have been acting lately, and for the what I said the other day." After a pause, he continued. "I haven't been myself. It's because of this case; it has been getting to me a lot. But, that is no excuse for my behaviour. There is no excuse for the way I acted. I should not have let it happened. I take back everything I said."
He had finally said the words that meant everything for Jesse. As Mark turned to leave, Jesse twisted around in his seat. "I forgive you, Mark."
Mark turned back. "You do?"
"Yeah," Jesse replied. After a moment, he stood up, and said, "Welcome back, Mark."
Mark stood for a moment, wondering what he had meant by that. "Why welcome back?" he asked.
"You weren't you since this case began. You are you now." Through Jesse's senseless speech, Mark understood exactly what Jesse meant. "Just promise that you won't go all crazy over a case again."
Mark held up his hand as a salute. "I promise," he said, chuckling afterwards.