Scene 8

(Fuu opens the door and gets out. She is walking to the kitchen. Eagle is flirting with Presea for some reason.)

Eagle: Mais oui…

Presea: Oh no.

Eagle: Oh yes!

Presea: Oh no! I've been bounced by you before!

(Eagle looks disgusted and then turns to the door, which was opened, and he drops Presea as quickly as possible, faking a look of distress.)

Eagle: Zut alors! She has left the building!

(in the kitchen, Lantis and Umi are conversing, along with Lafarga, who was the oven)

Lafarga: Look at this! All this food gone to waste!

Umi: Oh, don't fret over it. It's not as if you cook great anyway.

Lafarga: HEY!

Lantis: …

Umi: Lantis, don't you have anything to say?

Lantis: No.

Lafarga: Yes, you do.

Lantis: Well, it's her fault that the master lost his temper. After all, he did say "please".

Umi: Well, he should have learned to control his temper.

Lantis: What are you talking about? You're the one who lost your temper!

Umi: I lost my temper for him! How else are going to break the sp…

(Fuu walks in, and Lantis interrupts Umi.)

Lantis: SPLENDID TO SEE YOU, MADEMOISELLE!

Fuu: Why are you screaming so loudly, Lantis?

Lafarga: We have no idea.

Fuu: (stares at Lafarga) Not you again.

Lantis: Allow me to introduce…

(Eagle runs in and goes in front of Lantis.)

Lantis: …Eagle Vision of Autozam. (starts to choke his best friend) I told you to stand guard, and this is what happens?

Eagle: (gets out of Lantis' grip and kisses Fuu's hand) En chante, mademoiselle.

Fuu: (blushes) How dashing!

Ferio: HEY! EAGLE!! GET AWAY FROM MY GIRL!

Eagle: Now, what is your wish?

Fuu: Well, I'm hungry.

Umi: Did you hear that? She's hungry! Start the fire, Lafarga! Get the china, Clef!

Clef: I'm going, I'm going.

Lantis: But the master said…

Eagle: Oh, posh! Come on, Lantis. Where's your sense of risk-taking for this beautiful and intelligent woman?

Ferio: Eagle, if you try to flirt with Fuu again, I'll…

Lantis: Alright, crust of bread, some water, and you go back to your room.

Eagle: Nonsense…she should have a feast! And what's a little dinner without music!

Lantis: MUSIC?!?!?! (At this point, Lantis gets smacked by the door and into some kind tray of food, where he stays unconscious.)

Umi: Yes, music, come on, Fuu, let's get you to the dining room.

(Eagle is getting warmed up and then he stands on top of the table.)

Eagle: Ma chere mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner.

(Plates start flying out from nowhere and going to the table.)

Eagle: Be our guest. Be our guest.
Put our service to the test.
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie,
and we provide the rest.

(Eagle shoves a tray in front of Fuu.)
Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres.
Why, we only live to serve!
Try the gray stuff, it's delicious.
Fuu: Ew…

Eagle: TRY IT!!

Fuu: (reluctantly tries it and looks up) Hey, you're right, it is delicious!

Eagle: (continues to sing) Don't believe me? Ask the dishes!
They can sing, they can dance.
After all, miss, this is France.

Fuu: Aren't we in Cephiro?

Eagle: France goes with the song, actually, so it's staying that way.

Fuu: Oh, okay. Continue.

Eagle: And a dinner here is never second best.
Go on, unfold your menu.
Take a glance and then you'll be our guest.
Oui, our guest. Be our guest!
(Food start coming out, and Eagle burns them with his candles.)

Caldina, Tarta, Tatra, Presea: Beef ragout, cheese souffle.
Pie and pudding en flambé!
(Lantis gets up from the pudding, but gets burned, and he jumps out of the food, to Fuu's disgust.)

Fuu: I'm not eating the pudding en flambé.

Eagle: We'll prepare and serve with flair a culinary cabaret!
You're alone and you're scared,
but the banquet's all prepared.
No one's gloomy or complaining,
while the flatware's entertaining!
We tell jokes. I do tricks,
with my fellow candlesticks.

(Eagle starts to juggle, and the candlesticks that he was juggling all end up on Lantis, who was still trying to recover from his burnt experience. Now, as the music is playing, a flaming figure is running around at the back, screaming like a girl.)

Lafarga and Clef: And it's all in perfect taste that you can bet!

Presea, Tarta, Tatra, Caldina: Come on and lift your glass.
You've won your own free pass,
to be our guest

Lantis: AAAAAHH!!! PUT THE FIRE OUT!! SOMEONE!!!!

Eagle: Lantis, if you're stressed, it's fine dining we suggest!

Everyone: Be our guest be our guest be our guest!

(Umi finally had the sense to splash Lantis with some water, and now he's drenched and not burning anymore. But, Eagle has pulled him to the center of the table, and is singing.)

Eagle: Life is so unnerving for a servant who's not serving.
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon.

Lantis: EAGLE!! LET ME GO!!!

Eagle: Ah, those good old days when we were useful.
Suddenly those good old days are gone.
Ten years we've been rusting,
needing so much more than dusting.
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skill.

(Eagle lets go and Lantis goes flying into Jell-O, where half his body is engulfed in the green food.)

Fuu: Ew…I'm not eating the Jell-O either.

Eagle: (is oblivious to what is happening and keeps singing)
Most days we just lay around the castle.
Flabby, fat and lazy,
you walked in and oops-a-daisy! (Jumps at a spoon, and pulls Lantis free from the Jell-O, only to be thrown to the doors, where Umi was found, starting to sing her cue.)

Umi: It's a guest! It's a guest!
Sakes alive, well, I'll be blessed!
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord,
I've had the napkins freshly pressed.
With dessert, she'll want tea.
And, my dear, that's fine with me.
While the cups do their soft-shoein'
I'll be bubblin'! I'll be brewin'!
I'll get warm, piping hot.
Heavens sake, is that a spot?

AAAAH!!!!

Lantis: What's wrong, Umi?

Umi: I got myself dirty!!!

Lantis: Then have someone clean you off!

Umi: Oh right! (continues)

Clean it up! We want the company impressed.
We've got a lot to do!

(Rushes to Fuu, and hands her Clef.) Is it one lump or two?

Fuu: FIVE!

Umi: Okay! (smacks Clef five times.)

Clef: HEY!!! IT'S LUMPS OF SUGAR!!! NOT HOW MANY LUMPS ON MY HEAD!!!!!

Umi: Oops…sorry, Clef. (gets a cup of tea and hands it to Fuu, who was smiling evilly at Clef.)

Fuu: Thank you.

Umi: For you, our guest.

Tarta and Tatra: She's our guest!

Umi: She's our guest!

Presea and Caldina: Be our guest!

(As Lantis is trying to quiet everyone down, Lafarga, Caldina, Presea, Clef, Tatra, and Tarta start singing and rushing at him.)

Everyone: Be our guest! Be our guest!
Our command is your request.

Mokona: PU PU!

Everyone: It's ten years since we've had anybody here,
and we're obsessed!

Lantis: SHUT UP!!!

Everyone: With your meal, with your ease,
yes, indeed, we aim to please.
While the candlelight's still glowing,
Let us help you, we'll keep going!

Eagle: Course by course, one by one!
(At this point, a giant cake starts to float from the sky, to Fuu's wonder.)

Fuu: Oh my! That's a rather large cake! I can't all of that!

Eagle and everyone: 'Till you shout, "Enough, I'm done!"
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest.
Tonight you'll prop your feet up!
But for now, let's eat up!
Be our guest!

Mokona: PU PU!

Everyone: Be our guest!

Lantis: (swings from the ceiling) AAAH!!!

Everyone: Be our guest!

Lafarga: SHOOT THE FLYING MAN!

Everyone: Please be our guest!

(A gunshot was heard, and the cake fell from the sky, on top of Lantis who finally got off the swinging rope.)

Lantis: Alright! Who shot the cake?!

Geo: (from somewhere off the scene) Oops…

Fuu: (shudders) A pity. Now I'm not going to eat the cake.

Lantis: Okay, fine! Go to bed!

Fuu: But I would like to explore an enchanted castle like this.

Lantis: (laughs nervously) Enchanted? Who told you the castle was enchanted? (smacks Eagle and starts to choke him) It was you wasn't it?!

Fuu: I figured that on my own.

Eagle: Ah, Fuu-chan, you're so smart!

Fuu: Well, shall you give me a grand tour of this magnificent place?

Lantis: Why? You already know where everything is.

Eagle: Of course! Let's go, Lantis! Where's your sense of adventure?

Aska: Is this the end of this scene?

Sang Yung: I think so. Nobody's saying anything.

Ferio: Oh, do I have to do everything myself? NEXT!!!!

Scene 9

(Fuu, Eagle, and Lantis are walking around the castle, "ooing and aaing" at the sites for no particular reason. Lantis is talking about the things, but Fuu and Eagle aren't listening.)

Eagle: (whispering to Fuu) Hey, you want to know what that forbidden third floor has in store?

Fuu: Ooh…I'm very curious. What's in there?

Eagle: Why don't you go and check it out?

Lantis: And here are the baroque suits of armor. And up there is also an example of a baroque ceiling….

Eagle: (groans) I can't take this baroque talk of the castle anymore.

Fuu: Let's run! (both run, while Lantis is still talking and laughing to himself.)

Lantis: And if it's not baroque…don't fix it. (Laughs) Ohohohoho….oho? (looks around and sees that Fuu and Eagle are running towards the third floor corridor.) HEY! STOP!!

Eagle: (whistling innocently) Fuu! You shouldn't be going there!

Lantis: (blocks Fuu's way and glares at Eagle) You traitor!

Fuu: What did Eagle-san do?

Lantis: (forces a smile) We have a library downstairs!

Fuu: YOU DO?!?!

Eagle: (nods head vigorously) We have hundreds of books!

Lantis: Thousands of books!

Eagle: Cascades of books!

Lantis: Mountains of books!

Eagle: Even a small manga book on Magic Knight Rayearth!

Fuu: (gets starry eyed) Wow!! We're famous!

Lantis: (pulling Eagle and Fuu away from the corridor) Well, then, let's go!

Fuu: (pulls away and runs to the third floor) Bye! See ya!

(Fuu opens up the scary door with Mokona as a doorknob and sees a room filled with…um…fake looking cobwebs and a ripped picture of Ferio, which was quite obvious, with the green hair and the handsome face.)

Fuu: (gasps) Ferio! Who has ripped up your beautiful portrait? (continues walking around, accidentally knocking a bunch of expensive objects from the tables and chairs.) Oops…um…hehe…(spots a glass and a golden arrow inside it.) That's sooo beautiful! (breaks the glass, by accident, and touches the arrow.)

Ferio: AAH!!! THE GOLDEN ARROW!

Fuu: AAAH!!! FERIO!

Ferio and Fuu in unison: AAAAHH!!!!! YOU AGAIN!

Fuu: Oh my…

Ferio: You almost killed me!

Fuu: Um…how did I manage that?

Ferio: (shrugs) I don't know. Albert Einstein told me that if the arrow wilts, then I die.

Fuu: Oh my! (shoves arrow at Ferio and smiles) Well, thank you for giving me a grand tour of the castle. But, I'm afraid I must leave now.

Ferio: You're welcome. (watches Fuu leave, then finally realizes what that meant) HEY!! WAIT A MINUTE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY IN THE CASTLE!! FUU WAIT!!!

(A roar can be heard from the castle, and Fuu runs outside, with Mokona right behind her. She gets a bit farther away, but is blocked by the Chizetan princesses' Djinn, and Aska's ugly creatures.)

Aska: Ohohohoho!!! You can't escape now, Fuu-san!

Fuu: Oh my! Mokona! Fight them off!

Mokona: PU PU?

Fuu: AAAAHH!!! (running away in chibi-form from the blue Djinn) Help! Somebody help!

Ferio: Fuu's in trouble! Don't worry, Fuu! I'll save you…Whoa! (sees the monsters) I'm getting out of here!

Fuu: FERIO!!!!

Ferio: Alright alright! Sheesh….do I gotta do everything? (takes out his sword and starts slicing and dicing the monsters.)

(…Hours later…)

Ferio: And this is how you slice up a rabbit creature into strips you can hang to dry. After it is dried, you can then add the dressing and stuff the rest of the rabbit creature up. Then you put it in an oven, and bake it!

Fuu: (sighs) This isn't a cooking show, you know.

Ferio: It isn't? Tsk…darn. And I had great cooking skills, too.

Aska: YOU CANNIBAL!! THAT WASN'T A RABBIT CREATURE!!! THAT WAS MOKONA!!!

Fuu: YOU KILLED MOKONA!

Mokona: PU PU!

Ferio: No, Mokona's right here, dressed in a wolf outfit.

Fuu: Oh no! Mokona's injured! We must bring her back to the castle and treat her before she rots and dies!

Mokona: PU…..PU!!!! (starts to panic)

Ferio: Okay okay, let's go!

(Ferio, Fuu, and the "supposedly" injured Mokona walk back to Clef's castle. In the castle, Fuu was treating Mokona and scolding Ferio for no good reason, only because that's what it said in her lines. Eagle, Lantis, Umi, Clef, and Hikaru were there as well. *Don't ask how a cupboard got downstairs, Hikaru's there because she is.*)

Fuu: You know, if you hadn't gone out there, you wouldn't have gotten hurt.

Ferio: I got hurt? Oh, I mean…well, you shouldn't have run away!

Fuu: Well you shouldn't have screamed at me!

Ferio: I DIDN'T SCREAM AT YOU!!!

Fuu: YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR TEMPER!

Hikaru: (whispers to Lantis) Why are they screaming at each other? Aren't they supposed to be in love by now?

Lantis: Not really…

Clef: (snickers) Hehehe…

Umi: What are you laughing at?

Clef: If Ferio dies, then I get my castle back.

Umi: You know, for my son, you sure act like an 8-year-old.

Clef: I'M NOT EIGHT!

Eagle: Shh…..they're talking! (Before Umi, Clef, and Lantis could tell Eagle to shut up.) I know, I know, you want me to shut up….Sheesh.

Fuu: Anyway. (smiling) Thank you for saving my life!

Ferio: You're welcome!

(The area fades, but then music starts to play, and Fuu is walking with Mokona in a snowy weather. Ferio and Fuu are hitting each other with snow. Well, at least, they think it's snow…)

Ferio: ARGH!!! WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!?!

Aska: (snickers) I forgot to tell you guys, it's not snow, it's melted marshmallows!

Ferio: YUK!

Fuu: (begins to sing) There's something sweet,
And almost kind,
But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined.
And now he's dear,
And so I'm sure,
I wonder why I didn't see it there before.
Ferio: (clears throat too loudly and he hacks a bit wildly, then regains composure and begins to sing, to everyone's surprise) She glanced this way,
I thought I saw.
And when we touched she didn't shudder at my paw.
No, it can't be,
I'll just ignore,
But then she's never looked at me that way before.
Aska: What a bunch of bull—

Sang Yung: Lady Aska!

Aska: Oh, excuse me!

Fuu: (gasps at Aska cursing) New, and a bit alarming!
Who'd have ever thought that this could be!
True, that he's no Prince Charming

Ferio: HEY!! I AM A PRINCE!! AND I AM CHARMING!

Fuu: (glares) But there's something in him that I simply didn't see. (smacks Ferio with a rock.)

Aska: FIGHT! HIT HIM AGAIN!! HIT HIM AGAIN!

Eagle: (sings) Well, who'd have thought! (stops singing) They're killing each other!
Umi: Well, bless my soul!
Lantis: Well, who'd have known?
Umi: Well, who indeed!
Eagle: And who'd have guessed they'd kill each other on their own?
Umi: It's so peculiar, wait and see.

Eagle: We'll wait and see
Umi, Eagle, and Lantis: A few days more.
There may be nothing left
That had been there before.
(Area fades again, and Fuu and Ferio are back inside, where Ferio has a bandage and Fuu is helping him walk to the library.)

Ferio: (mutters) Ouch…

Fuu: I'm so sorry, Ferio, Aska was telling me to hit you again, and I really didn't know that the marshmallow had a rock inside.

Ferio: That's okay. Fuu, I want to show you something. But first, you've got to close your eyes. It's a surprise.

Fuu: (shrugs) Okay, but if I close my eyes, how will I guide you into the room?

Ferio: (takes his bandages off and jumps around) Oh, I'm actually fine! That healing brew Hikaru gave me really worked!

Fuu: (closes eyes) Okay, when do I open them?

Ferio: (opens door and leads Fuu in the room, then opens the windows.) Okay, you can open them now.

Fuu: AAAHH!!! I'M BLIND!!! (sees the books) Oh my! BOOKS!! WONDERFUL!!! THIS IS GREAT!!!

Ferio: (holds up a book) And look! The manga of Magic Knight Rayearth!

Fuu: Oh, cool! Let's read it! (sits by the fire with Ferio looking at her side)

Lantis: Ere, perhaps there's something there
That wasn't there before.
Umi: Darn! There may be something there
That wasn't there before.
Clef: What the heck are you guys talking about?

Umi: Clef, you're too young to understand.

Clef: HEY!

Ferio: (from inside) SHUT UP AND GO TO THE NEXT SCENE!