Hi everybody! I suddenly realized that my writing wasn't has crappy as I thought it was. I'm really happy that a lot of people liked my first fic, (in other words, 8 people) and another should comeout before I finish this one. As you all know, or as I wrote in the 'review' section of my fic, I was planning on doing a fic with Gendo and PenPen (cudos to Synaid for the idea), but I think I'll do that one later. This one is with Gendo and Shinji. Sit down and enjoy the show!
4 score & 7 years ago, Gainax founded Evangelion. Which means I didn't.
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For the Sake of Humor, part Deux!
Hikari steps onto the stage and waves, anouncing to the crowd:
"Goodnight ladies and gentelmen! Tonight we have for you the comedy styles of Janet Reno and that Cuban kid, performing...."
A man in about his mid-thirties with headphones and a clipboard comes up to Hikari and whispers something into her ear.
"Oh...." she continues, "Uh... We have received news that they're heads were crushed by 10000 prototype Windows 3000 opperating systems. The police found this note near the cropses:'They were punished for their insolence. Myes... MWHAHAHAhA*cough**hack*....Signed, sincerely with great affection, Bill Gate.' The police and CIA are searching franticly for this BILL GATE. So to replace them tonight are.... uh.... You two!"
She points to two members in the crowd, who just happen to be Shinji and Gendo Ikari who just happened to be *cough* enjoying the show.
Supercat: Just like how Janet Reno and that Cuban kid 'happened' to be killed by Bill Gates.... oops.... I mean Bill Gate.
"I believe that would be against my wishes. Shinji, put up the LCL pressure." ordered Gendo.
"Uh.... Think about it this way, Gendo," Explained Hikari,"you can insult your son in an undirect way! I mean since the crowd seemed to enjoy the parade Asuka and Rei pulled off last week.... " They still didn't get the blood stain off the wall.... Oh well.
" I prefer to insult my son in a direct way, but I suppose it would be.... amusing."
" Whatever."
Meanwhile Shinji has been contemplating what was about to happen. ....FATHER'S GONNA INSULT ME IN PUBLIC... BUT I'M GONNA DO THE SAME THING.... YES............ HE'S GONNA FINALLY PAY BACK FOR ALL THE THINGS HE'S DONE TO ME IN THE PAST!! AND IT'LL LOOK LIKE I'M ACTING!!
"YES!!!!" Shinji screamed at the top of his lungs.
The audience all stared. Gendo was already on the stage and Shinji was scrambling up as fast as he could. The audience was really surprised Shinji could scream that hard, but they were more surprised how he somehow managed to rip his lungs out, stand on top of them, yell, and put them back in his chest without dying.
Gendo decided to start. "AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! My father is in the same room has me! I musn't run away... I musn't run away..."
"Shinji." Shinji interjected." I have a use for you. You will get me two hotdogs, a triple mochachino, and some onion rings... Oh yes, and I want you to pilot a big purple Barney thing that you have never seen in your life before and don't want to pilot."
"Ok father. I will do anything you tell me to do because I'm a big wussy pansy boy, who probably had a sex change but doesn't know it."
" I do not appreciate such insolence. Hikari, increase LCL pressure."
Hikari looked wildly around the room, and then looked naturally around the room, and then finnaly desertly around the room.
" I hate it when that happens...." she commented.
" I am big, intimidating, and so, Hikari, when I tell you to increase LCL pressure, you do so. Also note that I never use exclamation points. You are insolent. Gary, increase LCL pressure."Pointed out Shinji.
Gary (in other words, random person in the audience) exclaimed, "You mean me?"
"Is you're name Gary?"
"Uh.... Yes."
"Then I do mean you."
"Wow! How did you know my name!"
"I know everything. I know that in the near futur the world will end due to my own creation, and that tomorrow, your co'workers will call you an idiot."
"How did you guess! You're psychic!"
"Hey it's kind'uv funny that you know everything Gendo, because I know nothing." announced Gendo. "As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure if I know that I know nothing."
"Hey, did you know that I'v slept with the entire female population?" justified Shinji, "And I'v even cheated on my wife, Yui."
CRAP. THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET, thought Gendo. " I haven't even gone on a date before. I'm like one of those losers you see in movies with the dorky glasses and the out of style clothes." remarked Gendo, " but at least I have a reason to live... it's..... uh............. my reason to live is...... Oh yes. Listening to the same songs over and over and over again on my SDAT. Yea. I'm so miserable."
"Hey, you know what's funny? I'm the one who made you miserable. Hehe. I'm such a bastard. Well, I should get back to being a cold-hearted jerk just about now.... Let's see..... I'll make a couple of people kill they're best friends and/or lovers...." mentioned Shinji.
"Hey! That's not funny, that's sad! But I'm not going to do anything about it because I let people put stomp all over me. My guardian, my coleagues, my father... It's really starting to hurt. I'v got foot marks all over my back. In other words, I'm pathetic. I don't even have the guts to take advantage of my superior whenever she gets drunk."
Suddenly a strange 'warking' noise could be heard in the audience, and PenPen, followed by what seemed to be a hypnotized Misato, came up to the stage.
"Wark, wark wark, wark sqwack, wark!"cried PenPen.
"Gendo. I. Have. Been. Looking. For. A. Challenger. Worthy. To. Go. To. The. Stage."translated Misato.
PenPen suddenly wapps Misato on the head and says some stuff in penguinese. "It was for effect! It wasn't THAT annoying!" Misato said in defense. PenPen then says some more stuff. "Whatever." replies his master.
"Squwack.... Wark squack, wark wark wark squwack, wark." I think you can guess who said that. It was Shinji! Yup! Wasn't that obvious?
"Shinji, why are you talking in penguinese?" responded Misato.
"I don't know."
Anyway.... PenPen said the same thing that Shinji said. "I don't know"
BlaBlaBlaBalabLAbla..... Anyway, after long hours of confusing translations, and the author, being me, putting stupid things, Gendo finnaly figured out that PenPen wanted to challenge him in a match of words.
"Yes. I'll do it. I will challenge PenPen, to win the New MTV category, Best Flamer." answered Gendo to the sleeping crowd.
Shinji: "See! I told you he doesn't use exclamation poits!"
And so the battle begins.
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Oh, well. So much for not expecting anything from me this week. I'm actually really leaving Wednesday. No, I do not mean the girl in the Adam's family. (I love the Tim Burton version!) . Uh... well.... ok.... I don't know what to say. Oh, yes! I remember! I wanted to say that I got several ideas from other fics who's names I can't remember (I guess that means that I DON'T remember ...) , and that I would like to dedicate this fic to my brother, 1penguin, (or in other words, Mathieu), for helping me think up the beggining. Also, one last thing; I wuold like to sare with you this story:
Mathieu and I are twins. Whenever we tell this information to someone that we don't know, they usually get surprised since I'm a girl and Mathieu's a boy. There's a funny story that goes with that. On the phone, we sound virtually the same, so people usually get us mixed up. ("Oh! This is Chloe? You two sound so alike!")
At school, there was this new kid named Michael who called Mathieu on the phone EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. And whenever he called, he talked for a long, long, long, long, while. Sometimes, Mathieu didn't feel like talking for a long time. So, one night, Michael called, and asked to speak with Mathieu. Mathieu picked up the phone and said:
"Sorry, Michael. This is Chloe. Mathieu is busy."
"Oh, ok."
I was in the room when this happened. I yelled at Mathieu for impersonating me and lying to Micheal, even though I thought it was really funny. Mathieu eventually told Micheal it was him, and they ended up talking for a long, long, long, long, while. The End.
Hoped you liked it. It's a true story.
4 score & 7 years ago, Gainax founded Evangelion. Which means I didn't.
***********************************************************************
For the Sake of Humor, part Deux!
Hikari steps onto the stage and waves, anouncing to the crowd:
"Goodnight ladies and gentelmen! Tonight we have for you the comedy styles of Janet Reno and that Cuban kid, performing...."
A man in about his mid-thirties with headphones and a clipboard comes up to Hikari and whispers something into her ear.
"Oh...." she continues, "Uh... We have received news that they're heads were crushed by 10000 prototype Windows 3000 opperating systems. The police found this note near the cropses:'They were punished for their insolence. Myes... MWHAHAHAhA*cough**hack*....Signed, sincerely with great affection, Bill Gate.' The police and CIA are searching franticly for this BILL GATE. So to replace them tonight are.... uh.... You two!"
She points to two members in the crowd, who just happen to be Shinji and Gendo Ikari who just happened to be *cough* enjoying the show.
Supercat: Just like how Janet Reno and that Cuban kid 'happened' to be killed by Bill Gates.... oops.... I mean Bill Gate.
"I believe that would be against my wishes. Shinji, put up the LCL pressure." ordered Gendo.
"Uh.... Think about it this way, Gendo," Explained Hikari,"you can insult your son in an undirect way! I mean since the crowd seemed to enjoy the parade Asuka and Rei pulled off last week.... " They still didn't get the blood stain off the wall.... Oh well.
" I prefer to insult my son in a direct way, but I suppose it would be.... amusing."
" Whatever."
Meanwhile Shinji has been contemplating what was about to happen. ....FATHER'S GONNA INSULT ME IN PUBLIC... BUT I'M GONNA DO THE SAME THING.... YES............ HE'S GONNA FINALLY PAY BACK FOR ALL THE THINGS HE'S DONE TO ME IN THE PAST!! AND IT'LL LOOK LIKE I'M ACTING!!
"YES!!!!" Shinji screamed at the top of his lungs.
The audience all stared. Gendo was already on the stage and Shinji was scrambling up as fast as he could. The audience was really surprised Shinji could scream that hard, but they were more surprised how he somehow managed to rip his lungs out, stand on top of them, yell, and put them back in his chest without dying.
Gendo decided to start. "AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! My father is in the same room has me! I musn't run away... I musn't run away..."
"Shinji." Shinji interjected." I have a use for you. You will get me two hotdogs, a triple mochachino, and some onion rings... Oh yes, and I want you to pilot a big purple Barney thing that you have never seen in your life before and don't want to pilot."
"Ok father. I will do anything you tell me to do because I'm a big wussy pansy boy, who probably had a sex change but doesn't know it."
" I do not appreciate such insolence. Hikari, increase LCL pressure."
Hikari looked wildly around the room, and then looked naturally around the room, and then finnaly desertly around the room.
" I hate it when that happens...." she commented.
" I am big, intimidating, and so, Hikari, when I tell you to increase LCL pressure, you do so. Also note that I never use exclamation points. You are insolent. Gary, increase LCL pressure."Pointed out Shinji.
Gary (in other words, random person in the audience) exclaimed, "You mean me?"
"Is you're name Gary?"
"Uh.... Yes."
"Then I do mean you."
"Wow! How did you know my name!"
"I know everything. I know that in the near futur the world will end due to my own creation, and that tomorrow, your co'workers will call you an idiot."
"How did you guess! You're psychic!"
"Hey it's kind'uv funny that you know everything Gendo, because I know nothing." announced Gendo. "As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure if I know that I know nothing."
"Hey, did you know that I'v slept with the entire female population?" justified Shinji, "And I'v even cheated on my wife, Yui."
CRAP. THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET, thought Gendo. " I haven't even gone on a date before. I'm like one of those losers you see in movies with the dorky glasses and the out of style clothes." remarked Gendo, " but at least I have a reason to live... it's..... uh............. my reason to live is...... Oh yes. Listening to the same songs over and over and over again on my SDAT. Yea. I'm so miserable."
"Hey, you know what's funny? I'm the one who made you miserable. Hehe. I'm such a bastard. Well, I should get back to being a cold-hearted jerk just about now.... Let's see..... I'll make a couple of people kill they're best friends and/or lovers...." mentioned Shinji.
"Hey! That's not funny, that's sad! But I'm not going to do anything about it because I let people put stomp all over me. My guardian, my coleagues, my father... It's really starting to hurt. I'v got foot marks all over my back. In other words, I'm pathetic. I don't even have the guts to take advantage of my superior whenever she gets drunk."
Suddenly a strange 'warking' noise could be heard in the audience, and PenPen, followed by what seemed to be a hypnotized Misato, came up to the stage.
"Wark, wark wark, wark sqwack, wark!"cried PenPen.
"Gendo. I. Have. Been. Looking. For. A. Challenger. Worthy. To. Go. To. The. Stage."translated Misato.
PenPen suddenly wapps Misato on the head and says some stuff in penguinese. "It was for effect! It wasn't THAT annoying!" Misato said in defense. PenPen then says some more stuff. "Whatever." replies his master.
"Squwack.... Wark squack, wark wark wark squwack, wark." I think you can guess who said that. It was Shinji! Yup! Wasn't that obvious?
"Shinji, why are you talking in penguinese?" responded Misato.
"I don't know."
Anyway.... PenPen said the same thing that Shinji said. "I don't know"
BlaBlaBlaBalabLAbla..... Anyway, after long hours of confusing translations, and the author, being me, putting stupid things, Gendo finnaly figured out that PenPen wanted to challenge him in a match of words.
"Yes. I'll do it. I will challenge PenPen, to win the New MTV category, Best Flamer." answered Gendo to the sleeping crowd.
Shinji: "See! I told you he doesn't use exclamation poits!"
And so the battle begins.
***********************************************************************
Oh, well. So much for not expecting anything from me this week. I'm actually really leaving Wednesday. No, I do not mean the girl in the Adam's family. (I love the Tim Burton version!) . Uh... well.... ok.... I don't know what to say. Oh, yes! I remember! I wanted to say that I got several ideas from other fics who's names I can't remember (I guess that means that I DON'T remember ...) , and that I would like to dedicate this fic to my brother, 1penguin, (or in other words, Mathieu), for helping me think up the beggining. Also, one last thing; I wuold like to sare with you this story:
Mathieu and I are twins. Whenever we tell this information to someone that we don't know, they usually get surprised since I'm a girl and Mathieu's a boy. There's a funny story that goes with that. On the phone, we sound virtually the same, so people usually get us mixed up. ("Oh! This is Chloe? You two sound so alike!")
At school, there was this new kid named Michael who called Mathieu on the phone EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. And whenever he called, he talked for a long, long, long, long, while. Sometimes, Mathieu didn't feel like talking for a long time. So, one night, Michael called, and asked to speak with Mathieu. Mathieu picked up the phone and said:
"Sorry, Michael. This is Chloe. Mathieu is busy."
"Oh, ok."
I was in the room when this happened. I yelled at Mathieu for impersonating me and lying to Micheal, even though I thought it was really funny. Mathieu eventually told Micheal it was him, and they ended up talking for a long, long, long, long, while. The End.
Hoped you liked it. It's a true story.