THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME CHAPTER TWO

"Here they come, ladies and gentlemen! Yesterday's lucky bachelor and his little 'kitten', Lance Alvers and Kitty Pryde!" Mr. Woolery introduced them.

Lance walked onto the stage, blushing furiously and looking quite dazed. Kitty followed him, waving merrily.

"How was your date, Lance?" Mr. Woolery shoved a microphone in front of Lance's lipstick stained face.

"Date Kitty?" Lance looked confused.

"Yes, your date with Kitty Pryde." prompted Mr. Woolery.

"Date Kitty?" Lance repeated.

"Please tell the audience how your date went." Mr. Woolery's voice was rising.

"Date Kitty?" Lance blinked, still unable to take it in.

"Perhaps you'd rather tell us about your evening." Mr. Woolery begged Kitty.

"Date Kitty?" Lance just stood there, grinning like an idiot.

"Sure. It's was like, a total blast, y'know? First Lance showed up at my house with like, a dozen roses. He looked so cute when his allergies staring acting up and he sneezed on the bouquet." Kitty giggled. "Then we like, went to the movies and he got in a fight with the usher because he shined the light on us when we were.. um, never mind.. and he dumped the popcorn on the guy's head and he's there all yelling cuz he's like, covered in butter and Lance is all 'So what? I had to find a use for it. It's not as though you can actually eat the stuff'. Hee hee. That part made me laugh. And then, we like, decided to y'know take a stroll and look at the stars and stuff and Lance tells me how when he was a kid he used to like wish on stars and junk and that all his wishes came true the day he met me and then like we hear this laughter and it turns out it's Evan. He was all spying on us and Lance totally freaks on him and starts beating him up and all and I'm like standing there laughing cuz it's all so funny, y'know?"

"I know what you mean." Mr. Woolery lied. "So tell me, Lance would you ever go on another date with Kitty?"

"Date Kitty?" Lance continued to stare into space, unaware of the world around him.

"Uh, we'll get back to you. Kitty, would you ever go on another date with Lance?" asked Mr. Woolery.

"Like, why not? He's kinda cute and all." Kitty smiled at her boyfriend.

Mr. Woolery looked shocked. "You're kidding, right? You'd really go on another date with that doofus?!"

"Lance is so NOT a doofus!" Kitty said hotly.

"The man has been standing there saying 'Date Kitty?' for the past five minutes! And from what I understood of your evening, which was difficult with all of the Valley Girl lingo, that boy ruined your flowers, got you kicked out of a theater, fought with two people, and used some of the corniest come-ons I've ever heard!" Mr. Woolery exclaimed.

"That like, doesn't make him a doofus!" argued Kitty.

"If that doesn't qualify him as a definite doofus, ladies and gentlemen, I don't know what does!" spat Mr. Woolery.

"I like, can't believe you! You are such a total jerk! No wonder you're divorced!" Kitty snapped. To Mr. Woolery's annoyance, the crowd burst into applause.

"What do you think you're doing? The teleprompter didn't signal for applause!" Mr. Woolery screamed at the audience.

"Like, c'mon Lance. We are so out of here!" Kitty grabbed Lance's arm and dragged him off the stage.

"Yeah, well good riddance. You two morons deserve each other!" Mr. Woolery called after them. The audience stared at him. "What are you looking at?" he demanded.

A cameraman tapped Mr. Woolery on the shoulder. "What? We taped that? Well, just edit it out, dammit!" he snarled.

"The thing is, this show is being broadcast live sir, we can't edit that out." the cameraman said nervously.

"Oh shit." Mr. Woolery groaned. "I need a drink. Go to a commercial or something."

"I could always entertain them, sir. There's this soft-shoe routine I've been working on.." the cameraman began.

"Commercial." Mr. Woolery insisted.

The cameraman's face fell. "Yes sir." He turned at faced the crowd, somewhat dejectedly. "We'll be right back." he announced.

Mr. Woolery sighed and headed backstage. The cameraman looked around. "Is he gone?" he whispered. The crowd nodded. "Great! Lessee, wardrobe, may I have a hat and cane?" he asked eagerly. A woman tossed the props to him, and he caught them. "Thanks, doll. Now I need an eight bar vamp, Maestro, in the key of B-flat.."