The Mandred Chronicles: The Effects of a Death
By zapenstap


"Miss Immilie," Relena said as her guest was admitted to her office. "What brings you back to Earth?"

"A mix of pleasure and business," Immilie said in those soft, elegant tones of hers. "I despise the colonies. I adore green growing things and the pulse of self-sustaining life. If Mandred did not insist on staying in the colonies, I would refuse to live there. As it is, I find it worth the trouble to visit here as often as time allows."

"Well that explains pleasure," Relena said, shoving her papers aside and gesturing for Immilie to sit in the chair across from her. She was tired of looking at those papers, but they were important. "If I can dare to hope to be successful, there will be an end to colonial habitat and all mankind will live on a planet."

"You speak of the Mars Terra Formation Project," Immilie said with a smile. She was a beautiful woman, slender as a willow tree with a lightness and grace about her movements and speech that was almost uncanny. She blinked her eyes and smiled at Relena. "You are certainly an ambitious young woman. The best leaders were those who determined to do the impossible and succeeded because of it. You are making quite the reputation for yourself."

Relena blushed under this praise. "I am only trying to do what seems necessary. Every benefit that comes of it is by the grace of God. Besides, even if the Mars Terraformation Project can be realized, I will not live to see it."

Immilie nodded thoughtfully as if this last had escaped her. "Yes, it would take many lifetimes to fulfill that task. Well, if we looked only to our own lives, very little would be done indeed. I commend your efforts, though I would still choose to live on the Earth."

"Why?" Relena asked only out of polite curiosity.

"Because the Earth is independent of the efforts of man and I wish not to get caught up in the achievement of mortals. I would rather esteem what my own hands and will could never accomplish, the complexity of which my own mind could never fathom."

"Mars would only be a copy of the Earth," Relena interjected. "It would be less artificial than the colonies, which rely on mechanics and calculations to sustain life; Mars would reproduce its own life just like the Earth."

"Yes, but you see my point. Man would take pride that they had created their own world in Mars, even if it was only a copy of the Earth, and a shoddy one at that. I prefer the original."

Relena smiled. "I understand," she said. "The Earth is an amazing place. What business brought you to the Earth, Immilie?"

"I am looking for someone that may cause some trouble."

Relena sat up, more alert. "Is there anything I can do?" she said. "I have a whole network of information and an elite police force at my disposal."

"No, my dear," Immilie said. "It is a personal matter, not a global threat. Your Preventors would have no means with which to arrest this enemy. As of yet, he has committed no crime within your jurisdiction."

"I see," Relena said, easing back in her chair again. Family troubles perhaps. "But maybe I can..."

At that moment, a heavy bang came on the door to Relena's office. Both Relena and Immile started. Relena leaped to her feet and Immilie rose from her chair in one fluid motion, both turning in some surprise as the door opened to reveal a young girl shaking and quivering in the doorway. Her brown hair was a wild mess about her face and she was breathing heavily, shivering as if from great cold. Sweat was slick on her face.

"Felicia." Immilie crossed the room in three large strides, catching the girl by the shoulders and putting a hand to her forehead.

"He came from behind," Felicia coughed. Her hair was matted with sweat. "Oh, Immilie," she moaned. "What is wrong with me?"

"Let me call an ambulance!" Relena said with authority, picking up the phone.

"No," Immilie said softly, holding Felicia close. "The hospital can do nothing for her. Call Mandred. He is the only one who has the antidote to this sort of poison. She will last until I can get her to him." She kissed Felicia's head and cradled her softly. "And please," she said, "leave me with her a moment alone. She is very frightened."

Relena nodded and at once left her own office. She went to the next room to use a phone and dialed Heero's number, which was also Mandred's. She had not once called Heero in all this time and trembled to hear his voice. What would she say if he answered?

*****

"Well, I gotta go it seems!" Duo said with a laugh. "I do have business on this colony after all!"

Heero just looked at him. "Take care," he said quietly.

"Yeah, I'll probably call before I go. I'll be here a couple of days I suspect."

"All right," Heero said, opening the door. He wasn't anxious to see Duo go, but since he was going it didn't seem worthwhile to drag it out. As he opened the door, the little black puppy scuttled in, slipping on the wood floors. Heero knelt and scooped it up to keep it out of trouble.

"Hey! No way!" Duo exclaimed. "You didn't mention you had a puppy."

"Immilie bought him for me," Heero replied. "He doesn't even have a name yet."

"Huh," Duo said, bending to scratch the puppy behind the ears. It growled at him, showing his teeth, then abruptly licked his face. "Maybe you should name it Trowa," Duo said with a grin.

"Maybe I'll name him Duo," Heero countered.

"Okay, okay, I was just kidding. Sheesh, you still can't take a joke." He smiled. "All right, all right, I'm goin'. See ya' some other time, Heero."

"Bye." Heero closed the door and set the puppy down.

The phone rang.

Heero never once thought of waiting for Mandred to answer it; it was, after all, his house too. Besides, Mandred generally insisted he answer it regularly, to work on his civility of speech, he said. Heero smiled as he picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" he said.

"Heero?"

"Relena," Heero said in shock. Her voice had a sense of urgency in it. "What's the matter? What's wrong? Are you all right?" All the old habbits clicked in again as if they had never gone.

"Oh, no, I'm fine, Heero. I... I know this sounds bad, but it's an emergency. Is Mandred there?"

Heero paused in astonishment. "Yeah. Hold on." An emergency. "Mandred!" he shouted upstairs. He very rarely shouted. "Pick up the phone!"

"I'll get it," Mandred's voice came down. Heero picked up the receiver and listened for when Mandred cam on.

"What is it?" Mandred said from the line upstairs in his his study.

"This is Relena Darilan," Relena said. "Felicia has been poisoned. Immilie said you were the one to call. She said she is going to bring her to you."

Heero ought to have hung up, but he did not. His manners be hanged; this was important.

"I will go wait for her, then," Mandred said. "She has probably already left." He hung up.

"Wait!" Relena said. She sighed to herself. "It's not as if she can fly to the colonies instantly."

"Relena," Heero said. "What happened?"

"Oh, Heero," Relena said in surprise that he was still on the line. "I don't know. Immilie came to visit me and Felicia barged into the room sick with fever and exhaustion. She said 'he came from behind.' "

"You're all right?" Heero said quietly.

"I'm fine, Heero," she said more quietly than he. "Are you?"

"I'm okay," he replied.

"Okay," she said

"Bye," he said.

"Heero?"

But he had already hung up. She was fine.

Later that day Mandred came back, carrying a limp and unconscious Felicia like a baby. Immilie came in behind him. Without a word, Mandred carried Felicia upstairs. Immilie stayed behind. Heero could see Felicia's condition was not good. She was gasping for air, her chest heaving with the difficulty of breathing, and though her eyes were shut, tears leaked from them even in her comatose state. He didn't think she had much chance on surviving even with the very best medicine. Whatever poison was in her had progressed too far.

"Is she going to be okay?" Heero asked anyway. He didn't feel particularly emotional about it, having not really known this girl at all, but he still felt a measure of concern.

"I don't know," Immilie said, crossing her arms. "There was a delay. We will see." Her eyes were troubled. She frowned at Heero. "Don't you even feel the slightest bit affected that she might die?"

Heero felt uncomfortable, but he was too honest to fake sympathy. "No," he said in a tone that could only be described as chill. "Do you know how many people died in the war, many by my hand?"

"Did you know any of them?" Immilie said just as coldly. "Did you love any of them?"

He felt twice as uncomfortable. "I'm sorry," he said finally. "But I can't."

"Can't love anyone enough to care when they die?" she said. There were tears in her eyes, he saw.

"Why do you cry?" he said darkly, crossing his arms. "Did you know Felicia well?"

"I know her," she said. "But my tears are not for her sake, or mine. I sense God's hand moving and there will be much sorrow and much hope."

That could be described as nothing but cryptic. "What do you mean by that?" he demanded.

But Immilie would not reply. Instead, she went to kitchen and made a pot of tea. She brought Heero some, lemon with a little sugar for sweetner, and sat silently on the couch. Heero drank his tea and tended his puppy, troubled by her words.

In the hour, Mandred came back downstairs. "She is going to be fine," he said.

"I never doubted it," Immilie said with much relief in her voice. "But by the struggle..."

"A very tricky poison," Mandred said. "But it is out of her system now. Knowing her recuperating abilities, she will be out of here tonight."

"That is very good news," Immilie said. "Here, I made tea. Is she awake?"

"No, she is sleeping for now," Mandred said with a smile. He kissed Immilie on the forehead. "I will give Kyra a call and tell her to come by tonight for her friend. Felicia will doubtless not wish to stay here with us if she can help it."

Because it was Sunday and he had school tomorrow, Heero went up to his room to do his homework. Like usual, it was unchallenging, but he did it anyway and then took a brief nap. He woke up at the start of nightfall, a little angry with himself for falling asleep because he knew he would not be able to sleep again later that night. Even so, he went downstairs to try and find something to do for the rest of the evening.

Felicia was awake and seated at the table with Immilie, Mandred, Kyra and Coran when he wandered downstairs. By the look of her, Felicia might never have been ill.

"Not anymore," Felicia was saying brightly. "He saw Immilie with me at the Cinq Castle."

"Well, it's time for us to be going," Cor said, setting down his empty glass. "Thank you for letting Felicia rest here."

"Try keeping her out of trouble in the future," Mandred said.

"Right," Kyra said. "Easier said than done."

"Hey!" Felicia said indignantly, leaping up from her chair. "I'll have you know...!"

Cor picked her up around the waist and turned her sideways like a manican doll. "Let's go, Kyra," he said cheerily. "We've got what we came for."

"Put me down, Coran!" Felicia screeched, hitting him with her fists. "I mean it! Put me down!" He set her on her feet and she smiled, smoothing her clothes. "That's better," she said primly.

Kyra, Cor and Felica left with a few polite goodbyes and Heero walked into the room.

"There you are," Mandred said. "Here," he said, extending his hand. In it was a small little button. Heero took it uncertainly. It glittered with a silver sheen, but it felt like it was made of plastic. "It's an alarm," Mandred said. "It rings an alert in my office. I got it for you when Felicia was recovering, from an old friend of mine who makes such things. If there's ever another emergency and I'm not here, use that to reach me. You don't have to say anything; it's like a pager."

"Okay," Heero said, putting it in his coat pocket he wore nearly every day.

The phone rang.

Mandred fell silent and looked at Immilie. "Well, maybe you should answer it."

Heero was used to that. He walked over to the phone desk and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" he said.

"Heero?"

It was Michael from school and Heero could tell from the choke in his voice that he had been crying. Michael was not the type to cry.

"What's going on?" he said, feeling a cold chill in his heart.

"Melanie's in the hospital," he said after a few moments. "She's dying. She wants to see you."

"What?" he demanded, astounded. All the light in the room seemed to vanish, swallowed by dread. A hole gaped ominously beneath him as the world dropped out from under his feet. "What do you mean?" he said

"She's dying, man. Can you just come? Please? The doctors don't think she'll last the night."

"I'm... on my way."

"Thanks, Heero."

Heero hung up the phone with a shaking hand. His hands never shook. He turned to Mandred and Immilie, who looked at him silently. The sorrow Heero had seen in Immilie's eyes before magnified ten-fold. It seemed more comforting now.

"It's Melanie," he said, surprised to hear the halt in his voice. "She's in the hospital. I've got to go to her."

"I'll drive you," Immilie said. "We will both come with you."

Mandred nodded.

*****

Heero entered Melanie's hospital room uncertainly. She was lying on a white mattress connected to several machines monitoring her life. The sounds they made didn't sound very soothing. Michael sat beside her, holding her hand as Heero walked in.

"Hey, Heero," Melanie said in a weak voice. "I'm glad you came. I feel just awful about this."

"What do you mean?" he said, taking the chair on the other side of the bed. Michael said nothing.

"That I have a fatal dissease, silly," she replied. "I've had it for years but I don't tell most people because then they worry about me." She looked fondly at Michael. "I don't like to be reminded of my limitations and I'm a little scared of dying."

"It's okay to be scared," he said. He would never have said that to himself, or any soldier. But now that he saw this girl, lying in bed with death just at the door, his perspective suddenly changed. Death had never looked so frightening before. Where would she go?

"You're not scared," Melanie said scornfully. "I heard about you self-destructing. And none of your friends are scared. There are all kinds of stories about Relena and the gundam pilots and everybody who fought in the war. I feel so silly, but," she bit her lip. "I'm afraid." Tears welled in her eyes and she squeezed Michael's hand. "I mean, I'm religious and I go to church and everything, but I'm still scared. I've been scared ever since I found out three years ago that I probably wouldn't live to graduate."

"Then why do you go to school?" he said.  He felt cold inside, and wondered if his voice sounded cold.

She smiled at him. "I want to be smarter," she whispered. "And I want to be normal. I have no grand schemes that I really wanted to do, and my parents did take me on a world cruise two summers ago so I could go to all the places I wanted to visit. I don't feel bad about leaving; I'm just a little scared. The doctors say I handle it very well. I mean, I get to know when I'm dying, so I can set my house in order, right? No surprises. Besides," she said, smiling. "Once it's over, the dying part I mean, I won't be the one afraid and in pain anymore. It will be all you losers still living who are clueless. And I really want to see heaven. I read up on it a lot, what different theologians think and everything, so I'm excited to find out, but it's still really scary. I mean, it's probably going to hurt like hell,"

Heero half let out one laugh and touched her face. She was pale. "That's what I said."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Is there anything you wanted to do," he said, "before you go, I mean?"

"Of course. I wanted to get married and have kids and everything. My favorite boy's name is Ted, so I was going to name my first baby that. It's so simple and cute, you know?  But when I found out," she shrugged. "I just had to let all that go. What about you? If you were going to die tomorrow, what would you regret not having done? Don't answer that out loud, Heero. Just promise me that, whatever it is, you'll at least attempt it, okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay. Remember, you promised." She settled back on her bed and closed her eyes.

Michael kissed her hand and looked across the bed at Heero. "Her family wants to stay with her," he said. "So we should probably better go." He looked at Melanie. "I love you, Melanie," he said.

"I love you too, Michael," she said with her eyes still shut. "Go on, get out of here. I'm not going to be offended."

Heero and Michael left the room. Melanie's family was waiting outside. They'd been in and out pretty much all day. Melanie's friend Vivian was there too with her mom, crying like a baby. Heero felt a well of sympathy well up in his heart for Vivan and Michael, a surprising new feeling that astonished him.

Mandred and Immilie were waiting in the lobby. But Heero said little to them.

Melanie died at 8:00 in the evening, slipping from the world in her sleep. Heero felt a quiet ache in his heart, but was mostly confused. In the past, death had always been violent for him, something people chose to some degree.  He did not cry out loud for Melanie, or say anything at all, but he suddenly felt a great need for familiar voices and familiar bodies around him. He was surprised when Immilie slid beside him and put her arms around him, but he did not resist. He put his head on her shoulder and sat in silence as she smoothed his hair. Mandred touched his face tenderly and left the lobby to use the phone.

"I've never felt this way before," Heero said when Mandred came back. He was sitting on his own again, leaning against the wall. "What is it?"

"Grief?" Mandred suggested softly. "If it's that achy, empty feeling I know so well. If fades with time."

Heero said nothing. "I didn't know her that well," he said. "She's just a civilian.  She doesn't know anything.  I don't know why I feel this way."

"You still cared," Mandred said. "That's all it takes. Grief has varying degrees. I am surprised you feel it so quickly. You skipped anger."

"I'm a little angry," he admitted. "Why does she die? I am a soldier. I should have died, yet I lived.  And this girl, who is nothing to me but everything to those who know her, is dying.  If anybody has to die so young, it should be someone without ties, a soldier like myself."

"Ah, but that's not true anymore," Mandred said. "And who says there is any proper order in death, or that there should be?"

Anger stirred a little more now, filling the emptiness in his gut. He turned to Immilie. "What did you mean today? When you said you felt God's hand stir? Is this God's fault? Did He make Melanie die to affect me in some way?"

"I don't know," Immilie said. "Who can say such things with any confidence? It is equally possible she was already dying and God took that moment to strike at Felicia instead. I do not always know what I mean when I say such things. I do not understand what you mean by 'God's fault' either because I do not fully comprehend God anymore than you do. I can not even prove that God exists."

"I don't believe in things like that," Heero said.

"Then why are you so angry with him?" Immilie murmured.

"Duo is here," Mandred said.

Heero's head snapped up. Whatever tears were in his eyes were gone. Good. "Why?"

"I called him," Mandred said, crossing his arms. "You need a friend, I think."

Duo looked...sober, which was strange, but his eyes were bright and full of understanding. "You want to get a milkshake or somethin'?" he said.

"Yeah," Heero said. "I'll try the chocolate this time."

They walked across the street and down a block to an icecream parlor. Heero perceived that Duo wanted to know who Melanie was, so Heero told him what he knew about her and Michael and the school.

Then they talked about other things. Heero asked what Kyra had meant about Duo growing up in a Church and because of the mood, he learned more about Duo in two hours than he had all throughout the war and after. The tragedy that had sent Duo on the path to becoming a Gundam Pilot was not what Heero expected and rather than multiplying his grief, it eased it somewhat. Years later, Duo was fine, and it was also true that other people suffered in the world and Melanie perhaps the least of them. Of course, it was only fair to return the favor, so Heero told Duo a little about his past, not everything, but the main points and whatever he didn't tell, he felt Duo somehow perceived.

Around midnight, Heero elected to go home. Duo again promised to call before he went back to L2. Heero called the house since the busses no longer ran their routes regularly and Immilie came to pick him up. Once home, he trucked up the stairs to his room and lay in his bed still fully clothed. In the darkness, He stared up at the ceiling for maybe an hour. He wasn't sure because at some point he fell asleep and did not dream.

end of part eight