*frowns disapprovingly* Now really people, you know I love you and
everything, and I live off of your reviews... but get real! I KNOW Nanashi
means 'no-name'; I am not the idiot you seem to think I am. Just because
Weiss is all I've been writing lately (indeed, all I have been able to
write) doesn't mean I know nothing about Gundam. I'm as big a fan of it as
I am of Weiss, DragonballZ, SailorMoon (sadly enough), Records of Lodoss
War, and whatever the heck else animes I like that I can't think of right
now! GET OFF MY CASE ABOUT THE NANASHI THING!!!!! I'm simply calling it 'no-
name' because I have no name for it. Get my drift?
Good. Now that we have all that covered...
Thank you for all your KIND reviews ^^ I'm so glad you like my stuff. The only way I could possibly be happier with my reviews is if I had one from P.L. Nunn, Rina Garet, Yanagi-sen, Aoe, and Shoori (who doesn't post here, or is that Aoe?). I hope you're happy with my work, I would hate to be misinterpreting all this.
You know I'm poor, right? As poor as all the rest of you out there are. I have no money of my own - or I won't after the next time I go to the mall. See, as Christmas is just over, I have some money... but I'm still poor! Therefore, to keep what little pocket change I've got...
Weiss Kreuz is the property of Project Weiss and its creators. I don't own it. If I did, I wouldn't be this poor, I would have posted a notice saying you can do whatever the heck you like to the boys as long as I like it, and I would be writing new episodes instead of fanfics. Do we all understand that Pickles is a poor, poor girl with no money and way too much time on her hands? Good class, let's move on!
Credits for this go to my friend DyingRose1 solely this time (hey, I'm going to get around to every single one of them eventually in this fic, I promise!). If it hadn't been for her telling me all about her problems between her and a certain guy friend she's got, I don't think I would have been able to think up even half of this. Not that I use any of the events or even her feelings directly, mind you! It just helps to be on the outside looking in to a couple with problems, unlike the way I write. It makes me feel like I understand what I'm doing better. So thank you, DyingRose1, for letting me use you as literary fodder ^^
Oh, and one more thing. Just because I don't have a name for the piece doesn't mean I don't have titles for the chapters. The first one is called 'When You Gonna Learn?' if you're interested o.o I know, sad. This one is called 'Fire Against Ice' and I like to kid myself into thinking it's got a slightly better title.
*stares at her scroll button* Wow, these things get longer every time I write them. The author's notes, I mean, not the chapters. In fact, I think I'm justified in calling this a relatively short chapter (even for me). Don't threaten me with physical harm about the length of the chapters, like I've seen some people do. It just makes me stubbornly obstinate about keeping them short, and usually ends up giving me a case of writer's block. So just deal.
Well, I think I'm done rambling now. Story time, children! Gather 'round!
Oh, and a note for Moonflower... FLOOF!!!!!!!!!
~~~
Nanashi - ch2
Fire Against Ice
~~~
I can't take this.
I don't know if I can hold out. Not against this. Not against Yohji's eyes following me everywhere. I though he would handle it better than this. I thought he would - not care. Oh sure, he'd be pissed at me for a few days for breaking up with him, but after a while he was supposedto get over it.
But this - this is awful. He doesn't strut anymore. He slinks. I can't see the predator in his eyes anymore. Instead, I just see some pitiful, defenseless creature who has been tortured by someone it loves. I expected him to be flirting with the girls in the shop, just like always. It's like he doesn't even see them. I expected him to be bringing dates home again by now - it's been two weeks. But he hasn't even left the apartment except for a mission.
I expected him to go back to normal. But if I didn't know better, I'd say he's heartbroken.
He's watching me now, from across the living room. The television is on, but he's not even pretending to watch it. His eyes, emerald radiating something that does a remarkable imitation of pain, are cutting through me as I'm trying to read the paper. I put on my 'buy something or get out' face. I don't want to do this, but if he won't stop...
"Quit staring at me, Kudo," I order, dropping the paper to stare back at him. I almost wince as his eyes meet mine. He should get some sort of acting award for this. I can almost feel unfathomable pain there . I remind myself that it's not real.
"I can't, Aya-kun," he returns quietly. Brokenly, but resolved, like an innocent convicted man in the electric chair. This statement catches me off guard.
"Why not?" I ask, keeping my look of disdain.
"I can't until I figure it out," he says. His eyes lock with mine, fire against ice, green and violet, and he breaks my mask. I can feel him, suddenly, feel that this really isn't some show he's putting on to throw me off balance. He really is miserable without me. "Not until I figure out why you left me."
I start at that. I never did explain it to him, did I? And yet, now that I know it does matter to him, I feel something - almost panic. Yohji really does care for me, and I - I care for him, I lo-
No. No, I can't. I can't love anybody. Everybody I love leaves me. I - I can't love Yohji. I'm not ready. I'm not! I don't want him to be hurt. I don't want him to die. My leaving him is the only way I have to protect him from that, to protect me from that. I can't allow myself to love him. I can't.
"I left," I say coldly, steeling myself against his reaction, "because I had to."
"Why did you have to?" he asks, hands gripping the couch with white knuckles.
"I had to because you don't need me." This is as close to the truth as I can come. I can't tell him. He would find a way to change my mind.
He laughs, surprising me. It is a mirthless sound. "Don't I, Aya?" he asks, looking at me, green eyes gone as hard as my own. "Don't I need you? That's news to me." He stands up, and heads for the door.
"Where are you going?" I ask him sharply. "Paychecks come tonight."
"Gonna get myself a fix," he mutters at me.
"I thought you quit," I scold.
"Don't you understand anything? I quit for you." And with that, he walks out the door. I know from experience he will be back before I wake up, asleep on the couch. He will have to take the afternoon shift so he can have time to recover from his hangover.
"Yohji," I sigh to myself, "don't. For yourself, don't do this."
~~~
I'm staring at Aya again. I can't help it. He's beautiful. Even when his eyes are pruple ice, even when he looks more like a porcelain doll than a living, breathing human being, he's stillthe most beautiful person I've ever seen.
His face changes; he looks icy cold, like he's above everything and everyone. His head snaps up, his arms fold the paper in his lap, and he looks at me. "Quit staring at me, Kudo," he orders me harshly.
I continue to look at him, hoping he'll see just what it is I'm feeling. Why did he do this? "I can't, Aya-kun," I say quietly, and it hurts to admit the truth; I am already so tied to Aya, so in love with him, that I can't even help looking at him, even though he hates me.
His lower lip twitches slightly; I know his facial expressions well enough to know that he is surprised. "Why not?" he asks, still looking as though he's too good for a conversation with me - and he is. I can't believe he even took what I had to offer for that long.
I answer him with the truth anyway. "I can't until I figure it out. Not until I figure out why you left me."
I bring my eyes up to his, and we stare at each other. It is the old contest, fire against ice. He is always ice. He never melts. I am always fire; his coldness always extinguishes me. But not this time. Incredibly, the ice cracks, and his eyes look like dawn, not the hard amethyst that refuses to let anything through.
His face contorts with a sort of guilty shock. He continues to look at me. Slowly, the stunned look becomes replaced by confusion. That, in turn, is sent away by panic, fear. I commit all three expressions to memory, making a mental note to study them later. They are fascinating, for I have never seen any of them on Aya's face before.
Then, incredibly, his face changes back to ice, so quickly that I've barely come to terms with it before he says, "I left because I had to."
He's telling me why he left? I have to know. What did I do wrong? I grip the couch tightly. "Why did you have to?"
"I had to because you don't need me." or an instant, I can see something there beneath the ice - but then it's gone, and I am left to guess.
I don't need him... How could he possibly be more wrong? I need him like I need air, water, food. I gave up the cigarettes, the weed, the alcohol, all of it, because I need him more. Aya is my addiction. I can't get enough of him. If they cut off my supply, I'll die.
It's humorous, how wrong he is. I laugh at him, but the sound is tortured even to my own ears. "Don't I, Aya?" I ask him. "Don't I need you? That's news to me."
If I can't get Aya, I need to replace him with something else. I'll go and get some weed - or maybe some ecstasy. If I can't have my Aya hit of the day, I'l just have to get a hit of something else a little more accessible. I stand up, and make to leave.
"Where are you going? Paychecks come tonight." His coice is as sharp and cold as his katana.
"Gonna get myself a fix," I mumble at him.
"I thought you quit," he says. He sounds like Omi - Don't you know that stuff takes years off your life? You might get cancer or emphysema, you might OD - and Ken too. Bunch of mother hens, all of them.
Aya isn't quite as perfect as I think if he doesn't get it. "Don't you understand anything?" I shoot at him. "I quit for you."
I leave him with that to think about, looking to indulge myself in the illicit pleasures of the street world.
~~~
Well, that's chapter two. Sounds like Aya's got himself a Shinigami complex, sorry to have borrowed the gundam concept. However, I needed SOMETHING to work with... and I can see Aya having that problem. Also, if I spelled emphysema wrong, let me know? Not that I'm really expecting any of you people to know... I've seen some of your stuff, peoples, and it's called SPELLCHECK!!!!!!!! Use it for my sanity, would you please?
Good. Now that we have all that covered...
Thank you for all your KIND reviews ^^ I'm so glad you like my stuff. The only way I could possibly be happier with my reviews is if I had one from P.L. Nunn, Rina Garet, Yanagi-sen, Aoe, and Shoori (who doesn't post here, or is that Aoe?). I hope you're happy with my work, I would hate to be misinterpreting all this.
You know I'm poor, right? As poor as all the rest of you out there are. I have no money of my own - or I won't after the next time I go to the mall. See, as Christmas is just over, I have some money... but I'm still poor! Therefore, to keep what little pocket change I've got...
Weiss Kreuz is the property of Project Weiss and its creators. I don't own it. If I did, I wouldn't be this poor, I would have posted a notice saying you can do whatever the heck you like to the boys as long as I like it, and I would be writing new episodes instead of fanfics. Do we all understand that Pickles is a poor, poor girl with no money and way too much time on her hands? Good class, let's move on!
Credits for this go to my friend DyingRose1 solely this time (hey, I'm going to get around to every single one of them eventually in this fic, I promise!). If it hadn't been for her telling me all about her problems between her and a certain guy friend she's got, I don't think I would have been able to think up even half of this. Not that I use any of the events or even her feelings directly, mind you! It just helps to be on the outside looking in to a couple with problems, unlike the way I write. It makes me feel like I understand what I'm doing better. So thank you, DyingRose1, for letting me use you as literary fodder ^^
Oh, and one more thing. Just because I don't have a name for the piece doesn't mean I don't have titles for the chapters. The first one is called 'When You Gonna Learn?' if you're interested o.o I know, sad. This one is called 'Fire Against Ice' and I like to kid myself into thinking it's got a slightly better title.
*stares at her scroll button* Wow, these things get longer every time I write them. The author's notes, I mean, not the chapters. In fact, I think I'm justified in calling this a relatively short chapter (even for me). Don't threaten me with physical harm about the length of the chapters, like I've seen some people do. It just makes me stubbornly obstinate about keeping them short, and usually ends up giving me a case of writer's block. So just deal.
Well, I think I'm done rambling now. Story time, children! Gather 'round!
Oh, and a note for Moonflower... FLOOF!!!!!!!!!
~~~
Nanashi - ch2
Fire Against Ice
~~~
I can't take this.
I don't know if I can hold out. Not against this. Not against Yohji's eyes following me everywhere. I though he would handle it better than this. I thought he would - not care. Oh sure, he'd be pissed at me for a few days for breaking up with him, but after a while he was supposedto get over it.
But this - this is awful. He doesn't strut anymore. He slinks. I can't see the predator in his eyes anymore. Instead, I just see some pitiful, defenseless creature who has been tortured by someone it loves. I expected him to be flirting with the girls in the shop, just like always. It's like he doesn't even see them. I expected him to be bringing dates home again by now - it's been two weeks. But he hasn't even left the apartment except for a mission.
I expected him to go back to normal. But if I didn't know better, I'd say he's heartbroken.
He's watching me now, from across the living room. The television is on, but he's not even pretending to watch it. His eyes, emerald radiating something that does a remarkable imitation of pain, are cutting through me as I'm trying to read the paper. I put on my 'buy something or get out' face. I don't want to do this, but if he won't stop...
"Quit staring at me, Kudo," I order, dropping the paper to stare back at him. I almost wince as his eyes meet mine. He should get some sort of acting award for this. I can almost feel unfathomable pain there . I remind myself that it's not real.
"I can't, Aya-kun," he returns quietly. Brokenly, but resolved, like an innocent convicted man in the electric chair. This statement catches me off guard.
"Why not?" I ask, keeping my look of disdain.
"I can't until I figure it out," he says. His eyes lock with mine, fire against ice, green and violet, and he breaks my mask. I can feel him, suddenly, feel that this really isn't some show he's putting on to throw me off balance. He really is miserable without me. "Not until I figure out why you left me."
I start at that. I never did explain it to him, did I? And yet, now that I know it does matter to him, I feel something - almost panic. Yohji really does care for me, and I - I care for him, I lo-
No. No, I can't. I can't love anybody. Everybody I love leaves me. I - I can't love Yohji. I'm not ready. I'm not! I don't want him to be hurt. I don't want him to die. My leaving him is the only way I have to protect him from that, to protect me from that. I can't allow myself to love him. I can't.
"I left," I say coldly, steeling myself against his reaction, "because I had to."
"Why did you have to?" he asks, hands gripping the couch with white knuckles.
"I had to because you don't need me." This is as close to the truth as I can come. I can't tell him. He would find a way to change my mind.
He laughs, surprising me. It is a mirthless sound. "Don't I, Aya?" he asks, looking at me, green eyes gone as hard as my own. "Don't I need you? That's news to me." He stands up, and heads for the door.
"Where are you going?" I ask him sharply. "Paychecks come tonight."
"Gonna get myself a fix," he mutters at me.
"I thought you quit," I scold.
"Don't you understand anything? I quit for you." And with that, he walks out the door. I know from experience he will be back before I wake up, asleep on the couch. He will have to take the afternoon shift so he can have time to recover from his hangover.
"Yohji," I sigh to myself, "don't. For yourself, don't do this."
~~~
I'm staring at Aya again. I can't help it. He's beautiful. Even when his eyes are pruple ice, even when he looks more like a porcelain doll than a living, breathing human being, he's stillthe most beautiful person I've ever seen.
His face changes; he looks icy cold, like he's above everything and everyone. His head snaps up, his arms fold the paper in his lap, and he looks at me. "Quit staring at me, Kudo," he orders me harshly.
I continue to look at him, hoping he'll see just what it is I'm feeling. Why did he do this? "I can't, Aya-kun," I say quietly, and it hurts to admit the truth; I am already so tied to Aya, so in love with him, that I can't even help looking at him, even though he hates me.
His lower lip twitches slightly; I know his facial expressions well enough to know that he is surprised. "Why not?" he asks, still looking as though he's too good for a conversation with me - and he is. I can't believe he even took what I had to offer for that long.
I answer him with the truth anyway. "I can't until I figure it out. Not until I figure out why you left me."
I bring my eyes up to his, and we stare at each other. It is the old contest, fire against ice. He is always ice. He never melts. I am always fire; his coldness always extinguishes me. But not this time. Incredibly, the ice cracks, and his eyes look like dawn, not the hard amethyst that refuses to let anything through.
His face contorts with a sort of guilty shock. He continues to look at me. Slowly, the stunned look becomes replaced by confusion. That, in turn, is sent away by panic, fear. I commit all three expressions to memory, making a mental note to study them later. They are fascinating, for I have never seen any of them on Aya's face before.
Then, incredibly, his face changes back to ice, so quickly that I've barely come to terms with it before he says, "I left because I had to."
He's telling me why he left? I have to know. What did I do wrong? I grip the couch tightly. "Why did you have to?"
"I had to because you don't need me." or an instant, I can see something there beneath the ice - but then it's gone, and I am left to guess.
I don't need him... How could he possibly be more wrong? I need him like I need air, water, food. I gave up the cigarettes, the weed, the alcohol, all of it, because I need him more. Aya is my addiction. I can't get enough of him. If they cut off my supply, I'll die.
It's humorous, how wrong he is. I laugh at him, but the sound is tortured even to my own ears. "Don't I, Aya?" I ask him. "Don't I need you? That's news to me."
If I can't get Aya, I need to replace him with something else. I'll go and get some weed - or maybe some ecstasy. If I can't have my Aya hit of the day, I'l just have to get a hit of something else a little more accessible. I stand up, and make to leave.
"Where are you going? Paychecks come tonight." His coice is as sharp and cold as his katana.
"Gonna get myself a fix," I mumble at him.
"I thought you quit," he says. He sounds like Omi - Don't you know that stuff takes years off your life? You might get cancer or emphysema, you might OD - and Ken too. Bunch of mother hens, all of them.
Aya isn't quite as perfect as I think if he doesn't get it. "Don't you understand anything?" I shoot at him. "I quit for you."
I leave him with that to think about, looking to indulge myself in the illicit pleasures of the street world.
~~~
Well, that's chapter two. Sounds like Aya's got himself a Shinigami complex, sorry to have borrowed the gundam concept. However, I needed SOMETHING to work with... and I can see Aya having that problem. Also, if I spelled emphysema wrong, let me know? Not that I'm really expecting any of you people to know... I've seen some of your stuff, peoples, and it's called SPELLCHECK!!!!!!!! Use it for my sanity, would you please?