Evil is like water, it abounds, is cheap, soon fouls, but runs itself clear
of taint. __ Samuel Butler
Chapter 7: Running Clean
The cloaked viator entered the house without a word. The black cassock glided around the person, inviting shadows to surround him, like a demon. The hood was inclined as if the creature hidden under the visage was bowing his head.
As the demon entered no one moved except the Auror. Gideon slipped his hand into his cloak and gripped his wand. He withdrew it and pointed it at the Death Eater. The demon noticed and jerked his head towards Gideon's direction, revealing a pale ivory mask underneath the black hood. It was without a nose or mouth, allowing only small, slender slits for the eyes, like a serpent.
"Remove your wand and place it on the floor, in the name of the Ministry." Gideon said fiercely.
The demon made a sound like a laughter. He began to mutter something as he walked slowly towards Gideon's out reached wand.
"What is he saying?" McGonagall whispered.
The voice was low and throaty. It flowed like blood from a fine wound, smooth and without interruption. "Ewan O'Hara...Aaron Xavier...Terri Hayes...Victor Hayes ...Nicolas Golden...Alissa Pierce..."
"Names..." Dumbledore answered slowly as the words became stronger in more rapid succession.
"Fellow Death Eaters?"
"No," Dumbledore said grimly. "His Victims."
"Allison Denison...Flora Maddox...Beau Gibson ...Halle McKinnon...Dylan McKinnon..." He had walked straight into Gideon's wand, pressing the thin piece of rosewood into his chest, over his heart.
"Stand down...don't make me kill you." Gideon said, his voice wavering slightly.
"Do it." The Death Eater whispered hoarsely. "If you have half the will to do so." He laughed scornfully again. "Dear Auror, protector of the innocent, my judge, jury and executioner. Kill me like you have countless of my brothers." He pressed closer to the wand, letting it dig into his skin. "Do it!"
He was pleading now. He longed for Gideon to kill him. And Gideon hesitate.
"Have you forgotten the words, Auror?" The Death Eater hissed angrily. "Allow me to refresh your memory. Avada Kedarva. 'Let this thing be destroyed.' Avada Kedarva, say it, come on." He was coaxing Gideon becoming more and more insistent. "Come on, say it! Do it!"
"Put that away!" Dumbledore shouted into the tense air. He began to step forward.
Gideon obeyed, returning his wand to his cloak. He stepped away from the Death Eater staring at his warily.
"Severus..." Dumbledore coaxed softly, taking the Death Eater by the arms. The young man's whole body was tensed and coiled. "Take off the mask, Severus. You don't need it anymore."
Snape slowly obeyed, his mind not fully heeding what Dumbledore was asking. He let the mask slip from his fingers to the floor. It echoed loudly in the still room. He looked worn, tired and weary and about to collapse any moment. He sat where Dumbledore directed him to sit and drank the warm tea Lily told him to drink and then he spoke again. "Drucilla is dead."
Dumbledore paled but recovered slowly. "How?"
"I had to kill her...Alistair was torturing her." He opened his fist and let Drucilla's wand roll unto the floor, next to his mask. "She said Godric's Moor and I knew it must be you." He was looking at Lily and James with those same tormented eyes. "Where is Alchemy?"
"Upstairs." Gideon answered.
Snape rose to move but McGonagall forced him down again. She then kneeled down besides him and began tending his wounds. He forgot he even had them, they were from earlier when he and the Coven had gone baiting. He felt his stomach twist again and he doubled over before he could stop himself. The movement was not lost on McGonagall, Lily or Fenrir who was a Mediwizard. They swooped around like him a bevy of condors, each picking at a different aspect of him. McGonagall was focusing on his milder cuts, such as the ones that razed his face. He hadn't noticed how wrecked he was. He had too many things on his mind earlier, like Drucilla. He winced aloud, trying to fight down the old churning of his stomach. Lily was fussing over him, running upstairs to fetch a change of clothes from him. But it was Fenrir who was the most demanding. He had whipped out his wand and was repairing his more serious wounds.
"Did you know you have a broken rib and another two bruised?" Vladimir asked, mildly amused.
Severus stared at him incredulously. "Who the hell are you?"
"Vladimir Fenrir, your savior."
"Ah," He nodded as if it all suddenly made sense. He rubbed his chest, where his heart was. "Ow."
James smiled at him. "That beautiful dramatic entrance of yours had a price, didn't it?"
He looked up, sleepy-eyed. James Potter would have been an annoying man had not he and Severus been such good friends. They were reluctant enemies, mainly due to the animosity between Severus and James' best friend Sirius Black. Snape and Potter had met long before Black and remained friends long after him, although it was always clandestine and somewhat begrudgingly on Snape's side. He had always been willing to sever all ties to Potter, but James would never allow it. Although Severus would never admit it, he was secretly thankful for Potter's stubbornness. Snape rubbed his heart again and mutter another "Ow."
James reached over and pulled him by the arm to his feet. "Come on, lets get you away from these clucking hens."
"Thanks...Ow."
"We get the point."
"Do you now?" Severus asked. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow."
James ignored him and pulled him out of the room. He led Snape up to his bedroom. It was dark and the bed was messed up from where he and Lily had been roused this evening. James threw a change of clothes at him and told him to dress.
Severus picked up the blue flannel shirt that had fallen on his head. He looked at it distastefully and then looked back at James. "You're kidding."
James smirked. "As much as I would love to accommodate your rather festive taste in color, it's the warmest and besides I think you need out of robes."
He looked down at his soiled robes. His black overcoat had patches of dry rust colored blood stains. He wasn't sure who's blood but it was there glaring up at him as a reminder. He turned away.
"Severus!"
He turned back to James' confused, dark face. He realized he had begun to shake violently and mutter.
"Its alright, Sev. Its alright." James soothed.
He tried to speak but only a muffled sob escaped his lips. He had begun crying. He felt a surge of anger towards his cowardice and tried desperately to regain control. But James had his hands on his shoulders telling him no. James was speaking about things like freedom, mercy, starting a new life, learning to live without the constant darkness, learning how to live as a member of truth. He smiled disbelieving. He wanted to explain to James how he wasn't human. He was a Death Eater. He wasn't a creature who deserved to see the dawn. He wanted to sit James down and explain to him as he would explain to a child the evils he had committed. The sins he had done and how, like at serpent, those sins had become fat on his soul. He wanted to explain to James that the evils he had committed didn't deserve a second chance. He wanted to explain that when he had backed Gideon into the corner, it had not been out of spite but out of justice.
"That's what forgiveness is." James said softly.
Severus jerked his head. He had been speaking aloud. "What?"
"Forgiveness is giving a second chance."
"Its not like I deserve one."
James began to reply but another voice spoke into the silence. "That's why you need one." It was Dumbledore. Severus began to say something but stopped. Dumbledore looked pained and depressed and it stole the words from Severus' mouth. The Headmaster motioned for James to leave. He obeyed without question.
Severus stood at attention, like he would have for Voldemort.
Dumbledore smiled. "Sit down, Severus." He was carrying a small basin filled with warm water and a wash cloth. He sat besides Severus and leaned over. He began to unbutton his cloak. The cloak slid pass Snape's shoulders. His robes were austere and simple. Under his outer cloak, he wore a tailored coat. It had a high collar and glided down his slender frame. Underneath that was a white silk shirt, now bright red with blood. He was vaguely aware of Dumbledore's cool hands as they slipped the blue flannel over his worn, tense body. Dumbledore handed him the solid blue pants and stood while Snape changed.
"Did you know that Drucilla had changed her name?" Dumbledore asked. "She didn't want people to give her special treatment on behalf of her uncle."
Snape looked up. The Headmaster's back was turned away from him, staring out into the night. He could sense a heaviness in the elder man's voice. He didn't want to ask the question but he hadn't had his stern control all night and on cue the question came, "Who was her uncle?"
"Her name at birth was Drucilla Anne Dumbledore."
Snape would have felt better if Gideon had killed him. "I'm sorry..."
"Don't!" Dumbledore said, his voice suddenly fierce and angry. "Don't try and apoligize but listen closely Severus...you better earn this. You better earn what she did for you. Because if you don't, her death and that of Melanie's and those people at that church, and all your other victims...all of those innocents who died because of your ignorance and arrogance; they would have not only died in vain but have been shamed in death. Earn this, Severus." Then Dumbledore leaned down and kissed his brow. He looked deep into his eyes and smiled. "Welcome back."
Dumbledore had left Severus alone for the first time that evening. He was finally alone and the ordeal was almost over. He didn't know what to do now. He hadn't thought this far ahead. Dumbledore had said to earn this, but how? How do you earn a gift you could never repay? He thought back to the forest, to his mad run and troubled revelation. He tried to make sense of it all but he couldn't. The world was to chaotic now. No one could make sense of it. What would he do now? He couldn't go back to the way it was...this night had changed everything. Amazing, he thought, it had taken just one night to turn his world around. It had taken just one left turn instead of right, one yes instead of no. He buried his head in his hands and wondered what on earth to do now. What did he have now? He was a traitor and a murderer...what on earth did he have now?
"Sevie?"
He had been so deep into his wondering he hadn't noticed the bed had a tiny, female occupant. "Its me, Alchemy."
She crawled to him and threw her arms around him, holding on tight. "Sevie, I'm afraid! Where am I?"
"You're safe, with friends."
"And the Coven? We're are my brothers and sisters?"
"All will be explained when it needs to be, trust me."
"Where's Drucilla?"
"All will be explained when it needs to be. Sleep." He turned to rise but she grabbed him by his arm. "No, don't leave me!"
"I'm not leaving you, Alchemy. Not ever again." He whispered seriously.
"Don't let go!" She urged. "Whatever happens..."
He looked into her eyes. "I won't. I won't ever let go."
"Stay with me."
"Alright."
"Hold my hand."
"Alright."
"Don't let go of my hand..."
"Whatever happens..." He said as he laid down next her, reclining on his side. She curled closer to him, crawling between his arms and studying his face. He smiled at her. "I won't go anywhere." He said.
She looked at him, her eyes already drifting to sleep. "I...believe you." She leaned over and kissed him. Then she pressed her head against his heartbeat and slid back to sleep.
He looked at her. What did he have now? Her. He kissed her forehead and whispered her real name. He said the name he had given to her the moment he had held for the first time when she had first come into world. He had named her then and tucked the name into the corners of his heart. That was the one thing he had to give her that was good and pure and he would, one day when all this was over. "Goodnight."
of taint. __ Samuel Butler
Chapter 7: Running Clean
The cloaked viator entered the house without a word. The black cassock glided around the person, inviting shadows to surround him, like a demon. The hood was inclined as if the creature hidden under the visage was bowing his head.
As the demon entered no one moved except the Auror. Gideon slipped his hand into his cloak and gripped his wand. He withdrew it and pointed it at the Death Eater. The demon noticed and jerked his head towards Gideon's direction, revealing a pale ivory mask underneath the black hood. It was without a nose or mouth, allowing only small, slender slits for the eyes, like a serpent.
"Remove your wand and place it on the floor, in the name of the Ministry." Gideon said fiercely.
The demon made a sound like a laughter. He began to mutter something as he walked slowly towards Gideon's out reached wand.
"What is he saying?" McGonagall whispered.
The voice was low and throaty. It flowed like blood from a fine wound, smooth and without interruption. "Ewan O'Hara...Aaron Xavier...Terri Hayes...Victor Hayes ...Nicolas Golden...Alissa Pierce..."
"Names..." Dumbledore answered slowly as the words became stronger in more rapid succession.
"Fellow Death Eaters?"
"No," Dumbledore said grimly. "His Victims."
"Allison Denison...Flora Maddox...Beau Gibson ...Halle McKinnon...Dylan McKinnon..." He had walked straight into Gideon's wand, pressing the thin piece of rosewood into his chest, over his heart.
"Stand down...don't make me kill you." Gideon said, his voice wavering slightly.
"Do it." The Death Eater whispered hoarsely. "If you have half the will to do so." He laughed scornfully again. "Dear Auror, protector of the innocent, my judge, jury and executioner. Kill me like you have countless of my brothers." He pressed closer to the wand, letting it dig into his skin. "Do it!"
He was pleading now. He longed for Gideon to kill him. And Gideon hesitate.
"Have you forgotten the words, Auror?" The Death Eater hissed angrily. "Allow me to refresh your memory. Avada Kedarva. 'Let this thing be destroyed.' Avada Kedarva, say it, come on." He was coaxing Gideon becoming more and more insistent. "Come on, say it! Do it!"
"Put that away!" Dumbledore shouted into the tense air. He began to step forward.
Gideon obeyed, returning his wand to his cloak. He stepped away from the Death Eater staring at his warily.
"Severus..." Dumbledore coaxed softly, taking the Death Eater by the arms. The young man's whole body was tensed and coiled. "Take off the mask, Severus. You don't need it anymore."
Snape slowly obeyed, his mind not fully heeding what Dumbledore was asking. He let the mask slip from his fingers to the floor. It echoed loudly in the still room. He looked worn, tired and weary and about to collapse any moment. He sat where Dumbledore directed him to sit and drank the warm tea Lily told him to drink and then he spoke again. "Drucilla is dead."
Dumbledore paled but recovered slowly. "How?"
"I had to kill her...Alistair was torturing her." He opened his fist and let Drucilla's wand roll unto the floor, next to his mask. "She said Godric's Moor and I knew it must be you." He was looking at Lily and James with those same tormented eyes. "Where is Alchemy?"
"Upstairs." Gideon answered.
Snape rose to move but McGonagall forced him down again. She then kneeled down besides him and began tending his wounds. He forgot he even had them, they were from earlier when he and the Coven had gone baiting. He felt his stomach twist again and he doubled over before he could stop himself. The movement was not lost on McGonagall, Lily or Fenrir who was a Mediwizard. They swooped around like him a bevy of condors, each picking at a different aspect of him. McGonagall was focusing on his milder cuts, such as the ones that razed his face. He hadn't noticed how wrecked he was. He had too many things on his mind earlier, like Drucilla. He winced aloud, trying to fight down the old churning of his stomach. Lily was fussing over him, running upstairs to fetch a change of clothes from him. But it was Fenrir who was the most demanding. He had whipped out his wand and was repairing his more serious wounds.
"Did you know you have a broken rib and another two bruised?" Vladimir asked, mildly amused.
Severus stared at him incredulously. "Who the hell are you?"
"Vladimir Fenrir, your savior."
"Ah," He nodded as if it all suddenly made sense. He rubbed his chest, where his heart was. "Ow."
James smiled at him. "That beautiful dramatic entrance of yours had a price, didn't it?"
He looked up, sleepy-eyed. James Potter would have been an annoying man had not he and Severus been such good friends. They were reluctant enemies, mainly due to the animosity between Severus and James' best friend Sirius Black. Snape and Potter had met long before Black and remained friends long after him, although it was always clandestine and somewhat begrudgingly on Snape's side. He had always been willing to sever all ties to Potter, but James would never allow it. Although Severus would never admit it, he was secretly thankful for Potter's stubbornness. Snape rubbed his heart again and mutter another "Ow."
James reached over and pulled him by the arm to his feet. "Come on, lets get you away from these clucking hens."
"Thanks...Ow."
"We get the point."
"Do you now?" Severus asked. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow."
James ignored him and pulled him out of the room. He led Snape up to his bedroom. It was dark and the bed was messed up from where he and Lily had been roused this evening. James threw a change of clothes at him and told him to dress.
Severus picked up the blue flannel shirt that had fallen on his head. He looked at it distastefully and then looked back at James. "You're kidding."
James smirked. "As much as I would love to accommodate your rather festive taste in color, it's the warmest and besides I think you need out of robes."
He looked down at his soiled robes. His black overcoat had patches of dry rust colored blood stains. He wasn't sure who's blood but it was there glaring up at him as a reminder. He turned away.
"Severus!"
He turned back to James' confused, dark face. He realized he had begun to shake violently and mutter.
"Its alright, Sev. Its alright." James soothed.
He tried to speak but only a muffled sob escaped his lips. He had begun crying. He felt a surge of anger towards his cowardice and tried desperately to regain control. But James had his hands on his shoulders telling him no. James was speaking about things like freedom, mercy, starting a new life, learning to live without the constant darkness, learning how to live as a member of truth. He smiled disbelieving. He wanted to explain to James how he wasn't human. He was a Death Eater. He wasn't a creature who deserved to see the dawn. He wanted to sit James down and explain to him as he would explain to a child the evils he had committed. The sins he had done and how, like at serpent, those sins had become fat on his soul. He wanted to explain to James that the evils he had committed didn't deserve a second chance. He wanted to explain that when he had backed Gideon into the corner, it had not been out of spite but out of justice.
"That's what forgiveness is." James said softly.
Severus jerked his head. He had been speaking aloud. "What?"
"Forgiveness is giving a second chance."
"Its not like I deserve one."
James began to reply but another voice spoke into the silence. "That's why you need one." It was Dumbledore. Severus began to say something but stopped. Dumbledore looked pained and depressed and it stole the words from Severus' mouth. The Headmaster motioned for James to leave. He obeyed without question.
Severus stood at attention, like he would have for Voldemort.
Dumbledore smiled. "Sit down, Severus." He was carrying a small basin filled with warm water and a wash cloth. He sat besides Severus and leaned over. He began to unbutton his cloak. The cloak slid pass Snape's shoulders. His robes were austere and simple. Under his outer cloak, he wore a tailored coat. It had a high collar and glided down his slender frame. Underneath that was a white silk shirt, now bright red with blood. He was vaguely aware of Dumbledore's cool hands as they slipped the blue flannel over his worn, tense body. Dumbledore handed him the solid blue pants and stood while Snape changed.
"Did you know that Drucilla had changed her name?" Dumbledore asked. "She didn't want people to give her special treatment on behalf of her uncle."
Snape looked up. The Headmaster's back was turned away from him, staring out into the night. He could sense a heaviness in the elder man's voice. He didn't want to ask the question but he hadn't had his stern control all night and on cue the question came, "Who was her uncle?"
"Her name at birth was Drucilla Anne Dumbledore."
Snape would have felt better if Gideon had killed him. "I'm sorry..."
"Don't!" Dumbledore said, his voice suddenly fierce and angry. "Don't try and apoligize but listen closely Severus...you better earn this. You better earn what she did for you. Because if you don't, her death and that of Melanie's and those people at that church, and all your other victims...all of those innocents who died because of your ignorance and arrogance; they would have not only died in vain but have been shamed in death. Earn this, Severus." Then Dumbledore leaned down and kissed his brow. He looked deep into his eyes and smiled. "Welcome back."
Dumbledore had left Severus alone for the first time that evening. He was finally alone and the ordeal was almost over. He didn't know what to do now. He hadn't thought this far ahead. Dumbledore had said to earn this, but how? How do you earn a gift you could never repay? He thought back to the forest, to his mad run and troubled revelation. He tried to make sense of it all but he couldn't. The world was to chaotic now. No one could make sense of it. What would he do now? He couldn't go back to the way it was...this night had changed everything. Amazing, he thought, it had taken just one night to turn his world around. It had taken just one left turn instead of right, one yes instead of no. He buried his head in his hands and wondered what on earth to do now. What did he have now? He was a traitor and a murderer...what on earth did he have now?
"Sevie?"
He had been so deep into his wondering he hadn't noticed the bed had a tiny, female occupant. "Its me, Alchemy."
She crawled to him and threw her arms around him, holding on tight. "Sevie, I'm afraid! Where am I?"
"You're safe, with friends."
"And the Coven? We're are my brothers and sisters?"
"All will be explained when it needs to be, trust me."
"Where's Drucilla?"
"All will be explained when it needs to be. Sleep." He turned to rise but she grabbed him by his arm. "No, don't leave me!"
"I'm not leaving you, Alchemy. Not ever again." He whispered seriously.
"Don't let go!" She urged. "Whatever happens..."
He looked into her eyes. "I won't. I won't ever let go."
"Stay with me."
"Alright."
"Hold my hand."
"Alright."
"Don't let go of my hand..."
"Whatever happens..." He said as he laid down next her, reclining on his side. She curled closer to him, crawling between his arms and studying his face. He smiled at her. "I won't go anywhere." He said.
She looked at him, her eyes already drifting to sleep. "I...believe you." She leaned over and kissed him. Then she pressed her head against his heartbeat and slid back to sleep.
He looked at her. What did he have now? Her. He kissed her forehead and whispered her real name. He said the name he had given to her the moment he had held for the first time when she had first come into world. He had named her then and tucked the name into the corners of his heart. That was the one thing he had to give her that was good and pure and he would, one day when all this was over. "Goodnight."