Severus Snape and Aphrdite the Author.
"So, you don't have a normal name?" Snape was mildly confused.
"Well, I suppose I do." The Author shrugged her skinny little fictional shoulder, "I prefer Author."
"Oh, well can I know what your name is anyway?"
"What's wrong with Author?" She asked, quizzically.
"Err, nothing honey!"
"Lets just say I am everything I am, and everything I am not." Author spoke with a certain tone to her voice.
"So, in reality you're not wearing that skimpy little two piece swimsuit?"
"Where do you get that?" Author looked down at her clothes, "Snape! You're ruining the entire fic!" Author sighed, and pulled a sweatshirt over her head.
"So," Snape continued, "Your not actually wearing that? And looking so incredibly edible might I add."
"No. In reality I'm sitting in choir class."
"Oh."
There was a sudden whoosh of wind, and Snape found himself sitting in Author's choir class.
"Err...your not actually wearing that swim suit are you?" Snape asked.
"No. I appear normal to them." Author shook her head.
"Aphrdite, are you talking to yourself?" a particularly geek-ie girl asked looking up from her journal.
"Oh, no." Author shook her head.
"Gosh Aphrdite, your so- Ah! What did you just do?"
"Wrote you into my fic."
"Oh!...is this Snape?" The extended her hand, "Hi! I'm Julia!"
"Ah...Hi." Snape nodded, not shaking her hand.
Julia turned to Author, "Why are you wearing the swim suit?"
"Oh, Snape messed up the fic." Author snapped her fingers, and soon wore Hogwart's robes.
"Simmah don to the ground na!" Julia shimmied to the floor.
"Julia, Sam, could we please pay attention?" another voice broke through.
"Sorry Miss Powell." The girls spoke.
"Ugh! She just said my name!" Author smacked her forehead.
"What's your name?" Snape asked.
"Sorry Aphro." Julia sighed, "Teachers these days!"
"Author!" Snape sighed.
"He has to call you Author?" Julia asked.
"Well, it's better then Aphrdite, or Aphro, or something." Author shrugged.
"By the way, why am I calling you that?"
"Because that's the way I'm writing it."
"Oh!...Cool." Julia nodded.
"Anyway, can we go back to my bedroom now?" Snape asked.
"Oh! Sure!" There was a popping noise, and the three found themselves in Snape's newly decorated room.
"Wow! Awesome silk curtains Sevie!" Julia ran her hand along the material.
"I didn't do this..." Snape shook his head.
The room was basically in a shadowed black, with the only color currently being the bright, blood red curtains of silk, and mesh hanging from the bed posts of Severus's bed. To be quite honest, it looked as though it had come out of one of Andy's (inside joke) porno movies.
"Wait a second...how do you know it looks like one of Andy's porn movies?" Julia asked.
"I don't. I'm just making it up."
"Oh! Cool!"
"What is she doing here?" Snape suddenly noticed Julia as if for the first time.
"Oh crap! Sorry Jul's you gotta go!"
"Oh, well I wouldn't wanna stay here anyway!" She was quite content to disappear with another loud pop.
"Much better." Snape pulled Author into his arms, and ducked under the seemingly 10 layers of curtain to his bed, which was extremely large. Probably about a triple king sized.
"Do I really need a bed this large?" Snape asked.
"Well, how am I supposed to picture you bedroom? Like this?" The room suddenly changed to a single cot for a bed, and had a sort of jail-cell look about it.
"I think I prefer the more erotic room, thanks." The room popped back to the porno room.
"Good, `cause I like this one too." Author snapped her fingers, and Snape suddenly wore what was dragon hide pants (wizard leather), and a loose fitting blue sparkle button up shirt.
"Gosh! I look like Ricky Martin!" Snape looked at his clothes, then at Author, "HOT MAMA!"
Author was wearing a Britney Spears type outfit, complete with knee high boots, a micro-mini skirt, and a button up shirt with the sleeves cut off, and tied about mid-rift.
"Ugh! What did I do!" Author sighed in disgust.
"I think it looks fine."
"Oh well," She brightened, "It's not as if I'll be wearing it long anyway."
Snape gapped at her as Author pushed him back into the mounds of printed pillows.
"Wow...for a fictional character, you sure do know a lot about that...kind of stuff." Author pulled the covers up over her `unspeakables'.
"M-huh." Snape's eyes where closed then flicked open, "Since we know how completely ediable one another is, can we do that again?"
"It's because your fictional, isn't it? A normal man would never be able to do it again that quickly."
"Oh well, In the fictional world, I'm normal."
"Oh. Okay." Author nodded.
"What's your name."
"Can't say."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not actually supposed to be in this fic."
"Oh...but you're the Author."
"Exactly."
"Oh...you've succeeded in confusing me."
"Sorry. See, I'm not actually `the author'. I'm the `fan author'."
"Then whose the Author?"
"J.K. Rowling."
"Why?"
"Because she got the idea before I did."
"That shimmy!"
"I know."
"Well, that's kind of sad." Snape mulled, "Well, screw the J.K. chick! You're my author!"
"Suck up."
"It's not my fault!" Snape sighed.
"Dastardly!"
"Did you just call me a bastard?"
"No! I don't even know who you parents are!"
"Come to think of it...neither do I."
"My poor dear." Author sighed.
"Some people think I was the love child of Dumbledore and McGonagall, but I was born in the fifty's, before everything was out of whack!"
"Oh well. At least you had, slash, have normal parents."
"My parents are dead!" Severus cried, "I never knew that!"
"Oh snap out of it!" Author yelled, "Your parents probably aren't dead, okay? Their probably living as muggles some where, because you where a death eater!"
Severus suddenly began to cry much like a little girl.
"Oh gosh..." Author sighed, "And for once I was trying to write a normal fic."
"So, you don't have a normal name?" Snape was mildly confused.
"Well, I suppose I do." The Author shrugged her skinny little fictional shoulder, "I prefer Author."
"Oh, well can I know what your name is anyway?"
"What's wrong with Author?" She asked, quizzically.
"Err, nothing honey!"
"Lets just say I am everything I am, and everything I am not." Author spoke with a certain tone to her voice.
"So, in reality you're not wearing that skimpy little two piece swimsuit?"
"Where do you get that?" Author looked down at her clothes, "Snape! You're ruining the entire fic!" Author sighed, and pulled a sweatshirt over her head.
"So," Snape continued, "Your not actually wearing that? And looking so incredibly edible might I add."
"No. In reality I'm sitting in choir class."
"Oh."
There was a sudden whoosh of wind, and Snape found himself sitting in Author's choir class.
"Err...your not actually wearing that swim suit are you?" Snape asked.
"No. I appear normal to them." Author shook her head.
"Aphrdite, are you talking to yourself?" a particularly geek-ie girl asked looking up from her journal.
"Oh, no." Author shook her head.
"Gosh Aphrdite, your so- Ah! What did you just do?"
"Wrote you into my fic."
"Oh!...is this Snape?" The extended her hand, "Hi! I'm Julia!"
"Ah...Hi." Snape nodded, not shaking her hand.
Julia turned to Author, "Why are you wearing the swim suit?"
"Oh, Snape messed up the fic." Author snapped her fingers, and soon wore Hogwart's robes.
"Simmah don to the ground na!" Julia shimmied to the floor.
"Julia, Sam, could we please pay attention?" another voice broke through.
"Sorry Miss Powell." The girls spoke.
"Ugh! She just said my name!" Author smacked her forehead.
"What's your name?" Snape asked.
"Sorry Aphro." Julia sighed, "Teachers these days!"
"Author!" Snape sighed.
"He has to call you Author?" Julia asked.
"Well, it's better then Aphrdite, or Aphro, or something." Author shrugged.
"By the way, why am I calling you that?"
"Because that's the way I'm writing it."
"Oh!...Cool." Julia nodded.
"Anyway, can we go back to my bedroom now?" Snape asked.
"Oh! Sure!" There was a popping noise, and the three found themselves in Snape's newly decorated room.
"Wow! Awesome silk curtains Sevie!" Julia ran her hand along the material.
"I didn't do this..." Snape shook his head.
The room was basically in a shadowed black, with the only color currently being the bright, blood red curtains of silk, and mesh hanging from the bed posts of Severus's bed. To be quite honest, it looked as though it had come out of one of Andy's (inside joke) porno movies.
"Wait a second...how do you know it looks like one of Andy's porn movies?" Julia asked.
"I don't. I'm just making it up."
"Oh! Cool!"
"What is she doing here?" Snape suddenly noticed Julia as if for the first time.
"Oh crap! Sorry Jul's you gotta go!"
"Oh, well I wouldn't wanna stay here anyway!" She was quite content to disappear with another loud pop.
"Much better." Snape pulled Author into his arms, and ducked under the seemingly 10 layers of curtain to his bed, which was extremely large. Probably about a triple king sized.
"Do I really need a bed this large?" Snape asked.
"Well, how am I supposed to picture you bedroom? Like this?" The room suddenly changed to a single cot for a bed, and had a sort of jail-cell look about it.
"I think I prefer the more erotic room, thanks." The room popped back to the porno room.
"Good, `cause I like this one too." Author snapped her fingers, and Snape suddenly wore what was dragon hide pants (wizard leather), and a loose fitting blue sparkle button up shirt.
"Gosh! I look like Ricky Martin!" Snape looked at his clothes, then at Author, "HOT MAMA!"
Author was wearing a Britney Spears type outfit, complete with knee high boots, a micro-mini skirt, and a button up shirt with the sleeves cut off, and tied about mid-rift.
"Ugh! What did I do!" Author sighed in disgust.
"I think it looks fine."
"Oh well," She brightened, "It's not as if I'll be wearing it long anyway."
Snape gapped at her as Author pushed him back into the mounds of printed pillows.
"Wow...for a fictional character, you sure do know a lot about that...kind of stuff." Author pulled the covers up over her `unspeakables'.
"M-huh." Snape's eyes where closed then flicked open, "Since we know how completely ediable one another is, can we do that again?"
"It's because your fictional, isn't it? A normal man would never be able to do it again that quickly."
"Oh well, In the fictional world, I'm normal."
"Oh. Okay." Author nodded.
"What's your name."
"Can't say."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not actually supposed to be in this fic."
"Oh...but you're the Author."
"Exactly."
"Oh...you've succeeded in confusing me."
"Sorry. See, I'm not actually `the author'. I'm the `fan author'."
"Then whose the Author?"
"J.K. Rowling."
"Why?"
"Because she got the idea before I did."
"That shimmy!"
"I know."
"Well, that's kind of sad." Snape mulled, "Well, screw the J.K. chick! You're my author!"
"Suck up."
"It's not my fault!" Snape sighed.
"Dastardly!"
"Did you just call me a bastard?"
"No! I don't even know who you parents are!"
"Come to think of it...neither do I."
"My poor dear." Author sighed.
"Some people think I was the love child of Dumbledore and McGonagall, but I was born in the fifty's, before everything was out of whack!"
"Oh well. At least you had, slash, have normal parents."
"My parents are dead!" Severus cried, "I never knew that!"
"Oh snap out of it!" Author yelled, "Your parents probably aren't dead, okay? Their probably living as muggles some where, because you where a death eater!"
Severus suddenly began to cry much like a little girl.
"Oh gosh..." Author sighed, "And for once I was trying to write a normal fic."