Disclaimer : The story's mine everything else simply isn't. All done in good fun .Nothing more man.
Rating : R
Notes : This is the second half of the chapter I promised you all. Finally got it up and running and on time too (YAY ME !!!!) If there are any bugs or if the text is unreadable or upside down or whatever , please gimme a heads up so I fix it up quick. I'll try to do what I can. Hope everything's okay : ) This is a continuation of the yesterday's chapter. *Be advised it gets real dark and a bit disturbing here.*
Dedication : First and foremost to Lesley Ann. Without her encouragement all of this would've fallen into nothing. Love the gal immensely. Thanks Lesley :-) And to all who have reviewed this story so far. My thanks to Furious George ,Bolo , Mims , Saturn Girl ,Varthan , grey , Jane McCartney , Xandman , 'wbh21c' Bill , Chorlton , Lori Bush , Drake Roberts , Rob Clark , Whitewerewolf. I appreciate each and every one of your comments. They mean a lot to me. Thanks again for all your feedback. It gives me reason to write *g*
Feedback : yes please ?
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BLACK & WHITE … by Zauriel Angelus
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Death was beyond me…
And perhaps so was life in a way.
I came to him…
I don't really know why. I'm not quite sure myself.
He was my enemy and I was sworn by duty to kill all of his kind.
It was my job after all … I was the slayer.
He was a vampire and unlike Angel … he had no soul to speak of.
I needed to escape my damnation.
I wanted to live again…
To feel the warmth that once filled my heart and bring back the essence of which I lost…
But lost was all I came to be …
And upon my resurrection I lived to embrace the undead.
" Slayer…"
It was madness…
The insanity that he calls love.
Spike strongly believed it to be true, his unyielding passion would ask no less of it.
But either way I didn't care.
" Love me…"
In his arms I held still and he took me tightly , urging me to join with him.
" Please …"
He wanted to take everything that made me who I was …
To stake his claim and have it all…
To own what he can never have.
" Buffy …?"
But he'd forgotten … I was already gone.
It was then that the beast took over , bringing forth his bloodlust.
His thirst ravaged my skin and he devoured me slowly , tasting every single inch he can.
The mask of humanity that he wore could not erase the scent of blood that hung from his breath.
And when you take in the fact that he has none , the air rang putrid and rotten in the face of such unbridled lust.
I didn't challenge him …didn't lift a finger to stop what he did … what we did.
The pain kept coming and I welcomed it.
How could I just stand by and let it all happen ?
How could I…?
Wasn't it a betrayal of my calling ?
What the hell was wrong with me… ???!!!
I closed my eyes and let him take me …again and again and again
Agony dug deeper than it had ever been and when the pain seemed to lessen ,
" HARDER !!!"
…I wished to be hurt just a little bit more.
The cycle repeated itself till it could not climax any longer and thus came the explosion of release.
" Oh god…"
Harsh foreboding winter entered , the cold gripping inside.
Finally I screamed …
Swift darkness came soon after and I followed , ever so thankful for its mercy as the song came to an end.
Then I started to hear it.
" Oh Beautiful flame …thy heart rests with fire , the sunset falls and darkness crawls from its domain…Quiet little one , the night is young yet…the night is forever."
…the singing.
" Lullaby …hear me cry, Hear me cry Lullaby…"
A dark vision set itself upon the horizon like a misty fog over the sea. The voice I hear drowns me in. The pain she felt must've been overwhelming and I fall with her, listening nearby.
" Lullaby …hear me cry , Hear me cry Lullaby…"
Then I see her …
" …the tears aren't enough. Never enough."
Anya's saddened face , a baby cradled in her arms.
" I shed nothing , only to lose it all…"
Rain began falling down as the baby cried. A figure appeared in front of Anya , offering her hand and when she turned , I finally recognized her as Tara who now stood with a comforting smile on her face.
" …the tears aren't enough. "
The two faded away quietly as Willow's voice brimmed over , the pain clear and heartbreaking.
" Never enough …"
Blood was on her hands.
Life was leaving her soul…
And the face of my best friend darkened with rage , the green in her eyes glowing sinisterly. Her lips moved ,crackling with effervescent energy and I could vaguely make out two words.
forgive me…?
I stared as Willow vanished from my view . The blackness of swirling mist enveloped me and I found myself standing in a graveyard. A scream broke the uneasy silence of my thoughts and I soon broke into a run in its direction.
I felt panic. Fear… and those emotions intensified a thousand fold as when I found out Dawn was doing the screaming.
" HELP ME !!!! BUFFY !!!!!"
A large hideous demon glowered in the shadows nearby holding Dawn by the neck . Before I could reach her , her neck was snapped and her body tossed to the ground like a ragdoll. I screamed Dawn's name and leapt for the bastard only to hit the wet earth as familiar black mist surrounded my fall , the echo of laughter mocking my misery as it did.
I saw a figure move and readied Mr Pointy , waiting for the perfect chance. My senses zeroed in upon my prey and I attacked without hesitation , vengeance and hatred fueling my offensive.
The stake plunged true to its mark but the blood that spilled was not that of any demon. The face that looked at me now was of my Xander shaped friend.
oh god…
" Buffy…?"
I tripped over backwards in shock , stumbling upon a headstone on my way down. A glance upon what was written upon it drove me to tears.The headstones around it told of worse news however.
The names of my friends … of my family were carved into them.
Their graves lay solemn upon the earth I stood and I wept with more sadness than I've ever known.
I could not face their fate and turned away only to stare into judgement.
" Why…?" he asked of me.
I couldn't answer him.
I don't know how…
In Xander's eyes , the betrayal and hate ran deeply. I could feel his pain and sorrow right then as it killed me , the fiery burn slowly turning me into ashes.
Xander's face flashed before my eyes , framed without color.
Just black and white negatives dipped in fire…
" the tears aren't enough …"
As his eyes turned grey I heard the singing again one last time …
" never enough…"
I could only scream his name as the flames exploded.
Xander …
" I shed nothing only to lose it all."
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End notes : *shudder* This was a very very difficult for me to write. I wanted to nix the whole B/S scene initially cos I didn't know how in the hell I was going to write it but my muse told me it was too important to be cut. Somehow I actually got away with it sane. Hope the shift into dream sequence worked alright. That one was a bit tricky. As for the next chapter, it will take a while to finish but hopefully I'll have it done in a week or two. My thanks to all those who've been reading so far : )
Ps: thanks for reading and btw FEEDBACK !!! I want it !!! I need it !!! I'm a feedback whore !!!
Till next time I remain ………