Goliath and Demona: Divorce Court - Can this marriage be saved. (Hah ha) Goliath and Demona go to court for a divorce.
Any similarity to any judge is purely accidental. I know Divorce Court's Judge is Ephriam. I'm not using her or any other identifiable judge. I made this guy up. I don't own gargoyles. They belong to Disney. Don't own Divorce court either.
Rated G:
Now appearing in Divorce Court are the gargoyles known as Goliath and Demona. After 1000 years of marriage these two want to call it quits. Up for grabs is Castle Wyvern and custody of their teenage daughter Angela.. Judge Matthews presiding.
The two gargoyles march in front of the podium as the Judge takes his seat. Matthews looks over his papers then looks at the two standing before him. He stares 30 seconds then leans back. "Well, I've seen a LOT of things - vampires suing for property damage, alien abduction lawsuits, even a 70 year old woman filing a paternity against her 25 year old lover - but this is the most bizarre yet."
Goliath folded his arms and growled. Demona put her hand on her hip and said, "Can we get on with this human? I have things to do."
Matthews scowled at her, "Hold on there missy, you quiet down. This is my courtroom and I make the rules."
Goliath looked at her and smirked.
Demona yelled, "Stupid human rules, for stupid humans. I don't even know why I'm here."
"You're here because you'll never get my daughter or that castle you traitor," Goliath roared.
"I don't need human justice to tell me what's already mine. If you want to play by weak flimsy human rules, I'll win with that too."
"You'll never win Demona, I'll sue you for child neglect, theft, mass murder..."
Matthews banged his gavel down hard several times to be heard above Goliaths roar. "Quiet! Quiet! One lawsuit at a time please."
The courtroom quieted down and he looked at the papers trying to understand the case. Giving up he looked at them and said, "As far as I can tell you want to divorce - Demona is it?" She nodded.
Goliath said, "Yes, I've learned that since we took a vow we were married, and only death can end a marriage. But as I understand this concept of divorce, I only need papers to say that she is no longer my mate?"
"That's right Mr. Eh -Goliath. But you've been married 1000 years? Excuse me but that's an AWFUL long time. I mean some people can't make it past 3 years and you've been together for a millennia!! Can't something be worked out?"
"We haven't been together for a thousand years! I've been asleep for a thousand years, while Demona is immortal. When I woke up she was cold, cruel and evil."
"And you are a weak, impotent fool, blinded by your love of humans, or should I say a particular human?"
"She has nothing to do with this."
Matthews banged the gavel again. "Quiet. You'll get your turn Demona. Now let me get this straight. You've been asleep 1000 years? Like Sleeping Beauty or something?"
"Hmmm, I suppose it's the same concept. I and the last of my clan were cursed into stone sleep day and night."
The judge raised an eyebrow, "Uh - huh. And Demona - you're immortal?"
"That's right, human."
"So nothing can kill you?"
"Something can, yes."
Goliath added, "Macbeth can kill her. If only he would."
"It would take another thousand years before he even got lucky."
Matthews, shook his head, "Tsk, tsk, such bitterness people. As much as I want to know who Macbeth is I'll try to stick to the script here. That is if I can believe you've been sleeping for 1000 years and your wife is immortal."
"I know it sounds unbelievable, but trust me it's true," Goliath said.
"Hey whatever, I went with the flow for the vampires too. Now their story was unbelievable. Now where was I? Ohh, yes. You want to get rid of her and keep custody of your daughter Angela and Castle Wyvern. I'm sure I know the reason for this divorce, but refresh my memory. You want to be rid of her why?"
Goliath rubbed his chin, then said, "Irreconcilable difficulties, er differences."
Demona laughed, "Please."
The judge added, "Well, you've been coached, huh? Okay Demona, I'm guessing you don't want the divorce, right?"
"If he doesn't want me, I don't care. I only want Angela."
"Not interested in the castle?"
"I'm immortal, I can get it after Xanatos is dead and gone."
"Xanatos, the multi millionaire? He owns the castle?"
"Technically," Goliath mumbled.
"So Goliath, you have no claim on the castle, or keeping it from Demona?"
"That castle is our ancestral home, and just because Xanatos owns it on paper now doesn't mean it isn't mine. And since it is mine, I'd rather die than see Demona get it."
"I understand. But since Xanatos owns it legally, I can't consider it in this case."
"Fine. I can deal with Xanatos." "Gonna be suing a lot of people, huh pal?"Goliath growled. The judge rolled his eyes. "So Demona, you agree to the divorce?"
"Sure, whatever. If Goliath really thinks a piece of paper is all it takes fine. I know we are both of the same kind, so he will always be my mate."
"Well you've got a point there Demona," Matthews said.
"Just because we are both gargoyles doesn't mean I can still love you after you've betrayed us, tried to kill us..."
"That's enough Goliath," Matthews said.
Demona continued, "He's thinks he's in love with that human, and that's why he wants this ridiculous farce. What do you think you can do with her huh? She will never be Angela's mother."
Matthews rubbed his hands together, "Weeellll now. You are seeing a human woman Goliath? Is that why you want a divorce?"
"No. Demona made my mind up all by herself."
"But you are seeing someone else?"
"Not exactly."
Demona interrupted, "Of course he is. The detective has been a thorn in my side from the first."
"You're seeing a police officer?" Matthews said shocked. Why he was shocked after all this he wasn't sure.
"She is my best friend."
"She has bewitched you. Otherwise you'd see how horrible humans are."
"How can you even stand yourself when you are human Demona? You've been human a while now and still you spout such hatred,"Goliath roared. "Even Thailog couldn't stand you for long. But I bet if he said come back you would. That is if he's still alive after you tried to kill him."
The judge leaned back in his chair and muttered, "This just keeps gettin better."
"Don't you dare talk about Thailog. He was a better gargoyle than you could ever be," Demona screeched.
"He was me! He tried to kill you Demona. I admit there were times I was tempted..."
"Lets stop right there, shall we?" The judge said. "First of all - Demona, your human?"
"Never. It's a curse."
"So you're not human?"
"I'm a gargoyle, except in the day. Then I'm human."
"SO. You. Are. HUMAN!"
"Of course not. It's only during the day."
Matthews temple started to throb and he rubbed it. "All right, so you're not stone in the day, you're human?"
"That's what I said isn't it? See how stupid humans are?" Demona muttered.
The bailiff came up to Matthews and pointed to his watch. Matthews said, "I don't care if I don't hear another case tonight, I'm going to get thru this. So how long have you been human?"
"I told you I'm not human."
"Uh-huh, so how did you get to be human - in the day?"
"That's irrelevant."
"Humor me."
"It was a curse."
"Great another curse," Matthews said. Goliath snickered. Matthews was writing stuff down. "So who cursed you and why?"
"I'd rather not say."
"And who cursed you Goliath?"
"A human called the Magus."
"And you have nothing against humans?"
Goliath shrugged, "It was an honest mistake. He apologized."
"I see. And Demona..."
"You are all filth, better off dead."
"Yeah I got that. So a human cursed you?"
"No."
"Tell me who did."
"No."
"Tell me or I'll hold you in contempt and place you in prison."
"There is no prison that can hold me."
"I guarantee that I can put you in a reinforced steel safe, that even a gargoyle can't break out of. Try spending 4 days in isolation unless you answer my questions."
Demona paled to a lighter shade of blue and looked at Goliath. He crossed his arms and looked satisfied. She frowned and said, "One of Oberon's children."
"Who?"
Demona rolled her eyes. Goliath said, "You humans call them elves."
"Whoa, elves are real?" The judge looked at them. Goliath looked at him sympathetically, while Demona looked at the judge like he was an idiot. Matthews sighed, "Of course they are. Nothing will surprise me on this case. So an elf made you human, and immortal." She nodded.
"But not the same elf, the weird sisters placed a spell on her with Macbeth," Goliath helped.
"Quiet you oaf," Demona frowned.
"Macbeth, there's that name again. How is he related to you Demona?"
"He isn't."
"But their both immortal. Unless they kill each other," Goliath looked at Demona.
"Shut up you fool," her eyes glowed red.
"Thanks for helping Goliath," Matthews muttered.
"Any time."
"So being human Demona, don't you feel that would send mixed messages to your child?"
"No. I'm not human."
"Uh - huh. And this - " he looked at his papers, "This Thailog. You were seeing him?"
"He was my true love."
"If he's your true love, is that why you're divorcing Goliath?"
"He already had Elisa. It seemed only fair I took Thailog."
"Really, Demona," Goliath snorted.
"So Thailog is another gargoyle?"
"Yes," said Demona.
"No," said Goliath.
The judge looked at each of them, "Explain Goliath."
"Thailog is a clone of me. A misguided and evil one at that. He tried to kill me, Xanatos and my clan."
"Never a boring life huh folks? So you were dating Thailog? Who is just like Goliath?"
"He's nothing like Goliath. He's better. In everything."
Goliath growled.
"And Angela is currently residing with you Goliath?"
"That's right."
"And she has no problems with you dating a human?"
"I wouldn't exactly call it dating..."
"What do you call it?"
"I - uh," He blushed a deep crimson.
"Okay I get the idea. And Angela gets along with this Elisa?"
"Better than I could have hoped."
"Demona, does Angela get along with Thailog?"
"Well, not exactly."
"Define not exactly."
"She doesn't like him."
"But Thailog likes her?" The judge said.
"Uhhh, well...." Demona began. Matthews sat patiently. "There was a small misunderstanding, between them."
"How much of your lies do I have to hear? Do you want to hear the truth?"
"I'm sure you're going to tell us Goliath," Matthews said wearily.
Goliath continued as if he didn't hear the judge, "Thailog tried to kill my daughter, then tried to kill Demona after he brought out his new cloned girlfriend. Demona would only poison my daughters thoughts, she'd never have a normal life, never find happiness, or love. I could never..."
The gavel banged several times before it caught Goliath's attention. "I get the idea. Thank you."
"None of that matters. I love my daughter very much. I can raise her the way she needs to be."
Matthews crossed his hands, "Well, mothers have been shown to be the better parent...."
"Maybe for humans, but not with Demona," Goliath raged.
"Yeah, well your daughter is a teenager. So who raised her from a baby? Goliath, Demona?"
"I was under the sleep spell. The humans,
Princess Catherine, Tom and the Magus raised her and the other gargoyle children."
"I see. And where were you Demona?"
"I - thought the hatchlings were dead. I didn't know she was alive until she showed up in New York..."
"Liar!" Goliath yelled.
"Prove it!"
The gavel banged. "Thank you. I'm sure we could go on for an eternity, but I think I've got enough info out of you both to decide the case."
The judge called the bailiff over and whispered, "Make sure I get the video of this session, it's worth a million easy. And get the guards with the tranques ready. I'm about to give my verdict."
The judge faced his audience, "Ahem. In the matter of the divorce. Granted. Nobody deserves a divorce more than you two. As for Angela it's clear you both love her and mothers are the better parent..."
Goliath growled as Demona smiled.
"Considering the volcanic tempers of you both, as well a your interesting background, I'm awarding full custody to Goliath. He seems to be getting along with humans better and there is no reason to raise a child with hatred..."
A bellowing bone shattering scream echoed throughout the courtroom. Demona unfurled her wings and her eyes glowed red. Ignoring everyone she bounded in a leap for the judge, "You'll pay human!" The judge scrambled from his seat.
Several thunks could be heard, and in seconds Demona fell toward the floor unconscious with tranquilizer darts all over her body. Goliath smiled broadly. "I like human justice already."
Matthews rubbed his forehead. "Man that was close." He pumped Goliath's hand, "Best of luck to you in your various court cases. I won't be presiding over them as I will be retiring tomorrow and going on an extended vacation. Hey, you got that tape for me yet?" He walked to the back offices and Goliath stared at Demona for a few moments. He shook his head and left the courtroom.
End