"You ready to get out of here?" Stephanie asked when she came to pick me up the next morning.
"No, but let's get going."
"You seem a little down, what's going on?" she asked sitting next to me.
"I'm just a little nervous. I don't know if I can actually do this."
"You know that you are the most determined person that I know, do you know that? Do you know that I have never seen you give up or fail at something that you knew that you could do?"
"I didn't realize that."
"Well, now is the time to start. You have not once given up, you won't start now. I know that you can do this. And I know that you will do this."
"Thanks." I hugged her. "You always made me feel like I was your sister."
"That's because you are. I don't want to make you nervous or anything, but dad is waiting at the hotel."
"What?"
"Now don't get all upset." she said calmly. "He's more excited to see the baby more then anything. In a way you've made him a grandfather for the first time."
"I guess so."
"Speaking of the baby, have you thought of a name?"
"Yes, her name I have decided is Geannie Ann Williams."
"That's nice. So where is she?"
"The nurses are getting her ready. She'll be in here in the next few minutes."
"Then let's get your things together." Stephanie walked around making sure that I left nothing behind as the nurse brought Geannie in to get dressed. It was just the beginning of spring so she still needed to get dressed warmly.
"I am so nervous about seeing Vince." I said driving back to the hotel. "I don't know what he's going to say or how things are going to go."
"Don't worry about that, daddy is not mad, and he's not going to let go oneof his best female wrestlers."
"I'm not worried about the buisness end of it, I'm just worried about the fatherly side of him. I know he's a little upset finding out that I was pregnant and I was wrestling. Finding out that I was pregnant and didn't tell him seems bad enough."
"Well, we'll see how things go when you talk to him."
"You're going to be with me right?" I looked over at her. "You are going to stay, tell me you are going to stay."
"I'll be there for a little bit, but I have a press shoot and stuff. I'll meet you back in Connecticut."
"I'm going to Connecticut?" I asked. This was a plan that was never mentioned to me.
"Don't say anything, but dad came out to convince you to go out there. Mom is there and wants you to stay there for the next few weeks."
"Only for a few weeks." I said.
"Yes, and it's not like your knee is perfect anyway. I know that it feels great but you know it's not ready to get back into the ring."
"I know, I'm going to start working it out more."
"That's good but don't push it, you might hurt yourself again."
"I'm not pushing anything."
When we got to the hotel I had to take a deep breath before walking in and I know that my entire body was shaking from nervousness.
"Hi Vince." I said walking in the room. Vince stood up from the bed and walked over to me.
"Hi sweetie." he gave me a hug and stepped back. "Where is my beautiful granddaughter that I have been waiting to see?"
"She's right in here." I said. I moved the blamket away from her face. "She kind of looks like you."
"That's funny, I don't see how that could be, but I can see why you say that." He picked her up from her car seat. "Isn't she just adorable."
"Thank you." I said.
"I just wish that you would have told me. I know that you were scared and all, but I would have liked to know."
"I know, everyone would love to know ahead of time. But I am still afraid that some people still don't know." I said.
"And you wrestled with the baby?" he shook his head. "You are lucky that nothing happened to you, and especially this baby."
"I have an angel by my side."
"I wouldn't be surprised at that at all. Steph dear did you know about her doing this?"
"I did. It was not my place to say anything though. Don't think about that though. Daddy just think about the fact that you have your first granddaughter in a way."
"No you do have a granddaughter." I said. I turned to Stephanie. "And you are now an aunt."
"The way that you are saying that doesn't seem right." Vince said.
"I told Stephanie that I would tell her the father of the baby when the time was right. Now the time is right."
"Does the daddy know?" Steph asked.
"No," I answered. "But he will very shortly and I want to tell the two of you so you can get use to this. It may seem weird and unbelievable, but I swear above all else that it's true."
"O.k., tell us." Vince said.
My hands were shaking uncontrollably and I was starting to tear.
"It's o.k. you can tell us, whoever the dad is."
"It's not that simple." I said. "This is so tough to say, but Shane is the father."
I looked at Vince's mouth rop open and Steph went wide eyed. I didn't have any other way to say it. It had to come out and it had to come out soon.
"Are you sure about this?" Vince asked,
"I was never so sure about anything in my life. The time is right, and he looks just like you and Shane. There's no mistaking it." I said.
"She's right dad." Stephanie said. "Now the hard part, did you tell Shane yet?" I shook my head. "How do you plan on telling him?"
"I don't know. All I keep thinking about is how certain people are going to react to this. I feel so bad for them. I can't imagine what they are going to feel when they find this out."
"You're talking about Dwayne and Jeff aren't you?" Stephanie said.
I nodded my head. "Yes, I am. I don't know what I am going to tell Jeff, or try to get him use to this."
"I don't want to you to worry about anything else besides working this out with Shane." Vince said. "The first priority is this child right here."
"I know that Vince. I would never do anything against her." I said. "I love her more then life."
"I don't think that I caught her name," Vince said.
"Geannie," I answered. "Geannie Ann Williams." I said.
"Why not McMahon?" Vince asked.
"If Shane wants to put his name on the birth certificate then he can, I am not going to make that decision for him, and neither are you." I said.
Vince nodded. "Well, now you can concentrate on getting stronger and getting back in the ring." he said. "Did you call anyone to tell them that you had your baby?"
"I talked to Jeff, Dwayne and Steve and that's all. But knowing them, they told everyone." I said.
"They probably did." Stephanie said. "I don't want to leave this little cutie, but we have to leave early tomorrow, you want to come? You don't have to wrestle or anything, you can travel and get your body back to normal. I mean, you look like you never were pregnant already."
"I don't feel like I wasn't," I said with a laugh. "Give me a couple of weeks and I'll be back out there with you and better then ever." I said.
"Just make sure that you are a hundred percent before you come back to wrestle." Vince said. "I don't need you getting seriously hurt."
"That's why I'm taking it easy. I am making sure that I am fully healed, and I don't look out of shape." I said.
The rest of the night we talked and laughed about Geannie and her cute expressions. I knew that I was in over head the first night we were togther. She was up every few hours to eat. I would have mornings where I would have to get up early and I had to get up in the middle of the night to take care of her. God, I prayed, just help me get through this. I prayed over and over for the strength, I didn't know what else I could do. I always had a feeling of I could do anything, but this was too much and I knew along with the others.
I talked to Stephanie on the phone later on in the week.
"Are you ready to come back to work?" she asked me.
"Not at all. I mean, physically I am getting there, but not mentally."
"This is going to be hard on you. Did you talk to Shane yet?"
"No, I try to call and I can never get the words out. I talk to him and he seems so caring and supportive, but I can't ruin his life like I ruined mine."
"You didn't ruin your life, all you did was add something to it."
"A very big something. This is going to have to be one of the hardest things I will ever do in my life, if not the hardest."
"Well, even so I know that Shane would not reject you and abandon you, he loves you with all his heart."
"Because we grew up together, what else do you expect from him?"
"I don't expect any less. Listen I want you to know that I am here for you no matter what."
"I know that you are. But I am still really scared about calling him,"
"Do it when you're ready." Stephanie said. "So is therapy going o.k.?"
"Yeah, it's going be pretty good. I'm almost done. I mean, I'm healing from having the baby and I'm working myself really hard. I never thought that I could take so much pain."
"So we are going to see you in the ring pretty soon right?"
"Oh yeah. I can't wait to get back in the ring and wrestle again."
"I know, so what is going to happen with little Geannie?"
"I haven't worked all of that out yet. I know that she is going to come with me for a while, but when she has to start school. I guess that's when I'm going to be leaving."
"What do you mean?"
"I've been in this buisness for almost three years now, in five Gean will be going to school. That is eight years that I have had in this buisness. To me that's good."
"You don't mean that you are actually giving yourself a time limit to this are you?"
"I have to, it's the only thing that I know is right for her."
"Mom and Dad can take her,"
"I can ship her off to boarding school too, but that doesn't mean it's the right thing. I know that I can give her to Vince and Linda and they would make sure she was taken care of. But I want to be there for her and see her get off the bus from school and all. I've taken care of Amy, so there really isn't much to do anymore."
"You are crazy, I don't want to see you leave in five years."
"I dont' want to leave in five years, but what do you want me to do?"
"I know you're right. But before you think about this, at least talk to Shane and tell him that she is his son. I know that it's not the best thing to tell someone, but in all honesty, he does deserve to know."
"I know and I am working on telling him. It's going on eleven, Geannie is going to want to eat soon so I'll let you get some sleep."
"I'll talk to you tomorrow and see you in a couple of weeks."
"See you soon." I hung up the phone and waited a few minutes before picking it up again.
I dialed Shane's cell phone. I knew that he wouldn't answer, but at least I could leave a message.
"Hi Shane, it's Kayla. We usually talk tonight, so I figured call you up and leave a message. That and there is something that I need to tell you. It's kind of important so when you get a chance, call me back as soon as possible. Good night."
I hung up the phone and sighed. I went and got Geannie a bottle and tried to fall asleep before she woke up again.