A/N: What happens when you put Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You Out of My Head" together with thee most insanely, brilliant sorting hat fic, "The Sorting Hat is on the Rampage..." by catsrule_dogsdrool? You get this fic=^_^=
So it's a songfic to good ol' Absinthe Fairy Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You Out Of My Head". I suggest downloading and listening to the song as you read this fic=^_^=
(Finally- after three fics- I have stepped out of my Lily phase).
Enjoy! And reviews always welcome and appreciated!
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("La La La, La La, La La La")
It was that time of year again (dun da dun), when the a new patch of Hogwarts students entered the Great Hall. The time of year, where I- the Sorting Hat- the neglected... unloved...battered...abandoned.. .locked in a cuppourd Sorting Hat- become the 'ALMIGHTY, MASTERFUL SORTING HAT' that decides those lil'brats destiney for the next seven years of their lives.
Think I don't have power do ya? Think I'm just an old, shabby hat? Na uh... Take that Tom Riddle kid, for example. He could have been an alright guy. I sat on his greasy hair head and immediatly thought 'Slytherin'.
"No, not Slytherin," he pleed. "I'm a choir boy who likes butterflies."
"What?" I say in disgust. This kid has 'dork' written all over him. Poor thing probably doesn't even know I can READ HIS MIND! Anyhow, he's obviously a Hufflepuff. I mean butterflies? Choir? HUFFLEPUFF!
But...Professor Dumbledore had ticked me off that day, to tell 'ya the truth. Ye ol'Great Hogwarts Storage Room was being re-painted, so Dumble shipped me of to a small closet for the year. A CLOSET!?! What about my hottub and pooltable?!? Huh? Huh?
So...To get sweet lil'revenge, I decided to place Tom Riddle in Slytherin. Have fun being beaten up, kiddo. Actually, to my suprise Slytherin kinda grew on Tommy. My sources tell me he's THEE most feared wizard in town- caused a lot of havoc, he did. ....Funny, huh?
("La la la, la la la la")
So anyhow, back to my story *ahem*. This group of brats was no different from the others... Or so I thought...
"Granger, Hermione!" calls McGonagall.
I'm placed on her bushy hair. Hasn't she heard of a brush?
"I heard that!" she thinks.
I roll my eyes (wait! Do I have eyes?), and continue searching through her brain...She's smart, a bit of a 'know-it-all', but none of that really matters anyway.
Okay, I admit- in my old age, I'm becoming a bit lazy... I no longer actually look in the person's brain to see if they're smart, loyal, etc. Instead I judge by the hair.
Greasy means Slytherin. Snape, Lucius- heck! Even lil'Tommy had a head full of car oil. Clean hair means Hufflepuff. Nice people shampoo their hair. Bushy hair means...
"Raven-" I begin to announce.
"Wait!" Hermione's thoughts interrupt me. "You didn't even analysis my brain!"
Darn...This kid knows her stuff. Most of the brats just shrug their shoulders and leap happily away to the tables of food.
"Please, I want to go where I belong," Hermione says.
"Well..." I mumble. "Fine...Let's see what we have here."
I fumble through her brain...Man, this is tough work. Professor McGonagall is eyeing me. It seems I'm taking longer than expected. Hermione is twiddling her thumbs and humming some annoying Kylie Minogue song- Locomotion, I think...
"PLEASE! Would you stop with the singing!" I cry.
"Well I'm bored. It sure is taking you a long time. Am I really that complex?" she asks.
No comment.
"So...er...how did you become a Sorting Hat?" she asks.
I stop mid-brain in shock. After all these years of asking silly prats questions, this is the first time anyone has asked about me! I think I may be glowing!
"What?" I say.
"You know...Were you like born a Sorting Hat?"
"No, actually a long time ago in Athens, Greece-" I begin.
"You're from Athens?" she exclaims. "That's where I was born! Of course my parents were citizens of England- and I only stayed there a month- but it was a beautiful town...I think."
"Yes! I love Athens!" I proclaim. "Beats living in a cupboard, anyhow."
"Wow, we have a lot in common," Hermione smiles.
("I just can't get you out of my head. Boy, your love is all I think about.")
"What?"
"Huh?"
"You're singing again, Hermione."
"Oh...sorry..."
("I just can't get you out of my head. Boy, I think it's more you think about.")
"You're singing again Hermione," I blush as I say this.
Professor McGonagall is really giving me a weird look now, as both Hermione and I are blushing manically. Hermione might even be batting her eyelashes.
Professor McGonagall clears her throat, rises her eyebrows at me- expecting me to shout out a house. But I won't...This is the first time I've felt...loved.
Darn- Professor McGonagall is now trying to pry me off Hermione's bushy head. The students laugh as Hermione cries- her tangled locks of hair being pulled from my material.
"Sayyyyy it!" Professor McGonagall cringes. "Say it!"
"I won't! I won't!" I shout.
"Sayyy itt!"
"Grryyy--Gryffindor!" I announce.
The Gryffindor table goes wild, and Hermione hangs her head low as she walks to the table.
A week later, I'm trying to fall asleep in my cupboard. All I can think about is Hermione... When I hear a quiet 'Alohamora'. The cupboard clicks open- and I see Hermione's sweet face.
She gently plops me on her head.
("Every night, every day, just to be there in your hat!")
("Won't you stay? Forever and ever?")
"I can't Sorting Hat," Hermione says solemnly. "I came to tell you that we're through."
"What?" I cry.
"I'm sorry...It's just I'm a girl and you're a hat."
"Can't you see past our differences?" I say. "I thought you were better than that!"
"I'm sorry..." she says.
Before she pulls me off her head, and locks me back in the cupboard- I catch her final thoughts...
("I just can't get you out of my head.")
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A/N: Thanks for reading- please reivew! =^_^= I hope you enjoyed.
If you like this fic, then read catsrule_dogsdrool's "The Sorting Hat is on the Rampage". =^_^=