Mr. Popular
By Silver Vaporeon
*********
No one saw what was coming with the purple shuckle.
No one knew that Meowth would fall in love with James.
No one knew that a whole herd of shuckle would fall in love with Team Rocket.
And NO ONE knew that James was wearing Jessie's unmentionables on Thursday last week.
"Hey!" James yelled from offstage, blushing like crazy. "My stuff was at the Laundromat last week!"
Oopsie. ANYWAYS. Let us go back to four months ago….
No one knew that a magical, flying green shuckle had snuck into the Team Rocket camp that night. It looked around and spotted a familiar blue-haired bishounen snoring lightly. His red-haired partner was with him, also snoring but had her hand on the guy's butt.
The shuckle yawned and fell asleep by the water canteen which was also green and shell-like. Its wings retreated into its shell.
James got up, half asleep and went to get some water. He picked up the green shuckle and drank its juice, not noticing the difference between it and the canteen. He licked his lips, wondering why the "water" he drank tasted like strawberries and peaches. He drank some more, set it down and went back to sleep.
In the morning, James got up early and found Jessie sprawling on top of him, still asleep and with her arms snaked around his neck. He sweatdropped and got out from under her, careful not to wake her. Jessie snored on. It was then when he found Meowth attached to his head, also asleep. He got the cat off his head though the claws made it difficult and chunks of lavender hair were pulled out.
He snuck out of camp and put on his Team Rocket uniform.
"Hi, James!" a voice called out. James whipped around and saw Misty looking at him with large anime-ish eyes.
"Err…hi…" James said, not knowing what else to say. Misty ran to him, her hands clasped together and she stared at James. James sweatdropped as she hugged and snuggled against him.
"I love you, James!" she cried out. "Forget about Ash and that dumb bike he owes me! I love you and I want to marry you and have your kids and-"
"Whoa! Time out!" James blushed and pushed her away, not sure if the fan fiction he was staring was supposed to be whineyshippy or something. "What the heck is going on?!"
Misty fell to the ground and looked at him tearfully. "Don't tell me you're gay…" she sobbed.
"Err…" James sweatdropped. Without thinking, he told her the truth. "Of course I am not! Maybe slightly bi(well, 80% of people are), but not gay! I like girls!" he clasped his hands over his mouth as Misty glomped him at the speed of light.
"I knew it! I can still have hope!" she squealed. "Wanna go steady for a while or just skip to the loving scene?"
"AIEEEE!!!" James couldn't handle it anymore, knocked Misty off and ran for miles as she cried her eyes out.
James stopped about four miles away from Olivine city and he panted hard. "Dang, what was with that twerp?" he wondered aloud. Suddenly Prima comes along and spots him! She runs up to him and gave him a big bear hug. James had to sniffle a lot to keep a nosebleed from happening as he was pressed against Prima's considerably large assets.
"Umm…excuse me?" he meeped. Prima at him and cooed.
"The ice is nice…but baby, you and I will be even hotter
than ice…" she purred as she examined his face, turning it this way and that
with a free hand. "Want to come over to
my house?"
"I-I left a pie in the oven, ma'am…SEE YA!" he broke free and started running again, this time with his hand to his nose as he was unsuccessful at keeping the blood from spewing out.
"Damn," Prima snapped her fingers. A random pervert ogled at her and she punched him in the nose.
James sat down on the sidewalk of Olivine City and panted.
"What is up with this?" he wondered aloud and then noticed everyone around him was trying to get near him. "AGHHHH!!!!" he screamed and ran back to camp. Jessie and Meowth were gone and James decided to drink some more water, being dizzy from running and the loss of blood. He noticed the peachy-strawberry flavor again and set the "canteen" down, which started to walk away. James yawned, changed into a clean uniform and fell asleep.
"JAMES! JAMES!" a familiar voice called as someone was shaking him.
"Er..what?" James said, a bit frazzled.
"Oh, *JAMES*" Brock gushed. "I was SOOOO worried!" Brock hugged him and planted several kisses on James' face, much to the latter's horror.
"Wait a corn-pickin' minute!" James brushed the crazed teenager away. "I thought you were straight!"
"But, Jimmy-kins! Love knows no gender." Brock took James' hands in his. "And I know you'd make a darling little wife figure!"
"B-but-" James was getting REALLY scared now.
"But nothing! Let's just skip to the honeymoon, ok, sweetie?"
"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!" James made a dash for it, leaving Brock alone to make dinner in hopes James would return.
James hid in the bushes, brushing away the bug pokemon that were trying to glomp him. "Sheesh! And I thought the ladies were bad enough!" James said out loud. "What in a blue moon is going on?" he wondered.
"JAAAMES!!" Misty found James in the bush and glomped him. James' eyes widened in shock as Misty slipped her tongue into his mouth as she kissed him. She pulled away from him and gave him a smile. "I was so worried about you! Are you alright?"
James' voice got caught in his throat and all he was able to do was hiccup high-pitched squeals of discomfort. Misty cuddled him and soon Brock found them both and started hugging James too. Misty punched Brock.
"Go away, Brock! James is MINE!" Misty screamed as she pulled on one of James' arms, yanking him towards her.
"MINE!" Brock got a hold of the other arm and pulled, jerking James over to his side.
"MINE!" Misty yowled again as she nearly tore James' arm out of its socket.
"OWIEEE!!!" James screamed as he pulled away and ran off yet again. Misty and Brock glared at each other and then pounced, sending dust in all directions as they got into the biggest cat-fight known to man to decide whose fault it was for scaring James away.
James' heart pounded painfully in his chest as he slumped inside the basket of the Meowth balloon. He was drifting over the land of Jhoto and felt completely safe as no one could reach him. He smiled and the smile turned into a grin. He got up, still grinning and gave out a psychotic laugh.
"HAH!" he declared to the world. "You can't get me! Neener neener neener!" he stuck his tongue out.
Which was met by someone else's' tongue.
"EWWW!!" James spat off to the side, trying to get rid of that awful sensation.
A Noctowl cooed and smiled at him but his master prodded him and Noctowl landed on the edge of the basket as a familiar boy climbed aboard.
"No…God, not you too!"
"Jimmy!" Ash Ketchum threw his arms around James' waist. "You'll finally get Piakchu 'cause we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together!"
"Pika!" Pikachu nuzzled James's hair, making it stand up due to static electricity. James pondered if he should grab Pikachu and run but he remembered he was in the balloon and couldn't run anyways.
"Um…don't you still think that girls have cooties?" James asked.
"Duh! That's why I am gonna marry a boy! I am going to marry you and I'll be the greatest Pokèmon Master and Daddy in the whole wide world!!"
James looked at Ash as if he had three heads and then hurled himself out of the balloon but then realized he should have just thrown Ash out instead.
"YANA KANJI!!!!" he screamed before he crashed into the Team Rocket campground. The wind must have blown him over the camp, he realized as he got out with a sore back.
He licked his lips. Jessie and Meowth were still gone, he noted and sighed thankfully as things were already crazy enough. He smelled the dinner that Brock had left on a flat rock and his stomach, as if on cue, gave a huge growl. Without thinking, he gobbled the meal up and sighed contentedly. Suddenly he fell to the ground twitching slightly.
"Aha-hahaha!" Misty's laugh came out of nowhere as she and Brock jumped out of the bushes in Team Rocket uniforms. They were also covered from head to toe with bloody bandages and various scratches and scars left over from their fight.
"Ugh…" James barely growled.
"I told you that putting in that stun spore would work!" Misty giggled insanely. Brock nodded.
"The old Kodachi trick," Brock said, referring to a character of Ranma ½.
"We joined Team Rocket to be with you, Jimmy!" Brock announced as James was just staring at the bright red Rs adorned on Misty and Brock's white jackets. Misty glared at Brock.
"What do you mean WE?!"
"….." James laid his head back down and hoped for the whole ordeal to end itself soon.
To be continued….