Blood thirsty: Amy, sorry about that. I'm surprised that more people didn't comment on that. Aquainted? GEEZ!!! * kicks Microsoft word * O.o;;; omgosh! This is PATHETIC! It doesn't even know what acquainted is! My spell check thinks it's wrong! I am using Microsoft word, and it thinks Microsoft is spelt wrong! It doesn't even know it's own name! * starts beating on anything in sight *
Legolas: Uh… oh my… Aragorn? Is she supposed to be holding a knife?
Aragorn: I hope so… but I don't think that look on her face is very healthy.
Blood thirsty: Ha! Oh, and please STOP TELLING ME TO FEED MY MUSES! I don't have to, they go and help themselves to my fridge! Legolas has a midnight snack all the time! Even at noon! Besides, the one time I cooked for them… they all got food poisoning, and well… they were sick for weeks… heh, anyhoo, I'll try to shorten the paragraph, okay? Good, on with chapter seven!
Legolas: Before you start, could you please put down the knife?
Miranda opened her eyes, trying to figure out why her bed felt so… uncomfortable. She felt around for her pillow, and found it was not her bed. It was the floor. Legolas had kicked her out of their bed. They had to share one, because the bar tender was still suspicious about them, and they had to act like a married couple. She walked towards the window, and realized it could be no more than three in the morning. Legolas' eyes were open, but glazed open. 'Good, he's asleep. Maybe now I can sleep too.' She thought to herself. She crawled into bed, careful as to not disturb the sleeping elf.
Legolas tossed and turned in his sleep all night, but amazingly enough, he didn't wake the elf-gollum beside him. He always slept badly while sharing his bed with another. Finally, he found a comfortable position, and finally settled into am deeper sleep.
" Holy-" Aragorns' exclamation was cut off by a sharp "Sh!" From Gimli. Too bad both elves stirred awake. Legolas felt the pillow under his head start to rise and fall erratically. 'Wait… since when do pillows breathe?' He thought. He was wracking his sleep-hazed mind to find a solution. Miranda felt content. She didn't want to wake up. Holding her true love closer to her bosom, she sighed. 'What? I don't have a true lo-Ahhhh!' Her mind screamed. She jolted awake, knocking the sleeping elf head off her chest. He let out a cry of surprise, blinked, then screamed.
" Why did no one wake us up?" Legolas demanded, turning a bright pink. The others only grinned at him. He then turned to Miranda and yelled at her.
" I thought I kicked you out of bed?!" He shouted.
" Well I was certainly not going to sleep on the floor!" She retorted.
" Well if I am the ' King-to-be', then I need more beauty sleep then you!" He looked her over, then added.
" Wait, it looks to me like you need more beauty sleep." He sneered. Before she could retaliate, the hotel keeper/ bar tender opened the door. Miranda and Legolas put on the cheesy smile, and Miranda jumped into his arms.
" Good morning! Any news of our friends?" Legolas chirped. To both the elves horror Gandalf, Sam, and Frodo walked in behind them, and stared. The bar tender had left, but no one else moved. The elven prince was the first to snap out of the hopes of it all being a nightmare, and shoved Miranda off him. He pushed passed all of them, muttering something like ' Stupid lap-dancer' and stalked down to the bar.
When Pippin and Sam had come down to check on the embarrassed elf, they found him drinking the strongest drink in the bar, but before he got more than two gulps of it, Pippin shoved it away from Legolas.
" Since when do you drink cheap stuff like this? It's no big deal, we explained it to Sam and Frodo, so they understand." Pippin said, sounding all too perky for the situation. All he got in return was a death glare from Legolas, and a shrug from Sam. Pippin sighed. He walked off, and came back several minutes later with the same thing as Legolas. They were about to toast to the life of bachelors, when the door to the inn was pushed open, and in walked Princess Allura. Before anyone knew what happened, Legolas was out of there faster than you could say " Miranda loves you!"
Legolas ran into their inn room, panting. Only the elf gollum was there. She looked at him with the oddest look. He silenced her. Voices from outside caught their attention.
" A group came in earlier, they had a dwarf an' two elves, but the elves claim to be 'wedded'. They're in 'dis room." Said the bar tender. 'Not again' the voice in his head moaned. Before the door opened, he grabbed her, faced his back to the doors, and locked her lips. He heard the sounds of the door opening, and then closing just as fast.
" Pardon the intrusion! Wrong door!" And with that, the footsteps disappeared; but to his horror, she didn't break away from the kiss. In fact, she moved closer. He tore away from the kiss nearly as fast as he had ran from the bar. A look of confusion was written on his face, as a look of disappointment came across hers.
'Crap. Crap. CRAP! She likes you. Why? What did you ever do to deserve that? Are you going to break her heart? Play along, or ignore her? Think fast blonde. This is not a matter for your head. Try talking to your heart.'
'Don't you dare involve me in this! I was quite content staying out of that matter. Better think of something to say to her. You don't want to stand there looking like a guppy. The last thing you need is to have a heart broken elf on your hands.'
Legolas blinked. She spoke first.
" Listen. I'm sorry, I know when I'm rejected. I just-well, I just thought that…" She trailed off, not meeting his gaze.
'Oh no, this is a trap! Don't fall for it Legolas! Trust me! It's better to just tell her that you don't have feelings for her, then she can just cry it all out.' The little voice representing Legolas' heart commanded.
'Yeah, that's right, let her cry. In fact, why don't you just leave her there, and let her and the bar tender elope! You cannot, and WILL not leave her like this. Do you have any sense of guilt? Do you want to see her cry? Just comfort her! All she needs is a shoulder to cry on!' The little voice representing Legolas' concience.
'Yup. That's right, just lead her on, and then break her little heart, and leave her for the vultures! I'm telling you, walk away. It's the smartest thing to do.'
' Smartest, maybe. But is it right to leave an elf of your own kin to suffer, especially when it's because of you?!'
' Leave her!'
'Comfort her!'
'Leave!'
' Comfort!'
Legolas' head felt like it was going to explode. He finally had enough of these voices in his head, telling him to do something or another, and he snapped.
" SHUT UP!" He cried out. He instantly regretted it. She burst into tears.
'Smooth move elf-boy.' His concience snapped.
' We know who got the brains of the family, huh?' His logic/heart crooned sarcastically. Before Legolas could react, she tried to push past him. He grabbed her by the waist, and forced her to look at him. He certainly did not feel any sort of love towards her, but felt some sort of pity.
" I didn't mean you. It's uh, nothing. I was just talking to myself." He said; realizing how corny that sounded. She burst into another bought of bawling, this time, on his shoulder. He felt very awkward. He held her for a few minutes. She looked up at him, her eyes red and puffy, and asked
" Do I really kiss like an Orc?" She asked. He was baffled by the question. He knew what he should of said, but shock rendered him silent for a moment too long, and again came the water works. This time shoving him into the wall, and racing down the stairs to the bar.
"… then, he said I kissed like an orc!" she sobbed to the shocked by-stander who was stupid enough to ask what was wrong. Legolas blinked. 'But you didn't say that! See what you've done to her?' He uttered a growl, and grabbed her wrists.
" I did not say that, and you know it." He snapped. Her only answer was another round of tears. Gimli and the four hobbits burst into the bar. They hardly noticed anything. The only thing said was by Gimli.
" Allura!" And with that, they hobbits, dwarf, and elves were gone. They had ran up to the inn room, grabbed their belongings, and escaped out the window.
" Legolas, is there something wrong? You seem even quieter lately. What is going on?" Gimli questioned. They were camping out, the fire had just been put out an hour ago, and Legolas refused to go to bed. The elven prince ran a slender hand through his hair, and sighed.
" Miranda has feelings for me." Legolas whispered, just in case some one else was awake as well.
" Oh please. Her? The only feelings I've seen are contempt and a lack of patience." He said.
"Yes, that is all anyone has seen. But what about the times you don't" He muttered. Gimli cocked an eyebrow. Legolas continued.
" It's like I have an on-going battle in my head, fought by my concience and my heart."
'Damn straight!'
'You better believe it!' Legolas had the sudden urge to cry out 'shut up!' again, but thought better of it; besides, it never really worked. He received a look of pity from Gimli.
" I think, you should tell her. But do not linger on my words, do what you believe." Gimli said, trying to be helpful. He sighed again, a ragged, sort of weary sigh. The poor elf had no clue what to think. He could no longer keep up the attitude towards her, now could he? Then, a thought snapped into his head.
'Aha! I have a solution! Make her WANT to hate you! Act like a total jerk! Be the complete opposite of what she loves!' His concience cried, overjoyed by the new solution to the love stricken elf-gollum.
' You know what? I think we're onto something!' Those two voices in his head continued to try and persuade Legolas to act like an insensitive jerk, while he was trying to listen to Gimli's speech.
" … that answer was completely out of the question, wouldn't you say?" Gimli asked. Legolas, who was not paying attention to anything anymore; not even those voices in his head, said
" Of course not." Gimli then looked at him with a look of pure disgust.
" Wha…? Could you repeat the question?!" Legolas begged. Gimli just glared at him, and stalked off to bed.
' Good job! Why not just tell the rest of the fellowship that they all need you, and you may as well be their god!'
'Or better yet, why not just grow even bigger ears, develop a new voice and a tale, and call your self "LegoASS!' his inner-voices snapped at him. It was then that he realized that he was getting into an argument with 'inner voices'.
" I must be insane." He muttered to himself before nodding off into the dream world.
Blood thirsty: I hope those paragraphs weren't too long. Dangit, I blame it on you muses. You guys are lazy!
Aragorn: Lazy?! Us? We are your muses, and do what you tell us to!
Blood thirsty: Really? Okay then, when did I tell you to raid my fridge? Hmm?
Aragorn: Oh shut up! I don't want to be here anymore! Stupid, STUPID ELF! It's all your fault! * runs out of the room *
Legolas: What did you do that for? You're cruel! Very cruel!
Blood thirsty: What?! I don't have to feed you! Last time I did, you kept throwing up and calling for your mommy you were so delirious!
Legolas: MY MOMMY'S DEAD! * runs off to join Aragorn *
Blood thirsty: O.O! Come back! I NEED MY MUSES! There goes my allowance, it's gonna be on a shrink.
Gollum: Sssmeagol still here…
Blood thirsty: Oh shut up. Now, for the shout outs to my reviewers!
Amy " thanks! I'm glad for the tips! I really hope the paragraphs weren't that long in this one… and I will make sure that my dumbass spell checker knows acquainted, (I KNEW it was that!) and it's own name, can you believe that?! It doesn't even know what microsoft is! * kicks it *
Memesasuka " don't worry! I'll keep this story a'comin!"
#1legolasobsesser " Thanks! I'm glad you think it's funny enough to fall on the ground! I hope this story brings some entertainment into that 'little boring house' of yours, hehe"
D45 " Hey! I'm glad to see more people are liking this story! I really had no idea it would do this well! Thanks! And my muses feed themselves… though I think they're gonna need a shrink now… -"
Blood thirsty: Thus ends my authors notes… now to go find my muses… yeash, the things I put up with around here… If I spelt concience wrong, please don't kill me! I don't trust my spell check as much as I used to… I think it might be conscience, so if it is, please tell me! That, and it doesn't know microsoft, but it knows Microsoft. I'd say it's kinda arrogant, don't ya think?