Blood thirsty: I suck at spelling. I really do.
Muses: We know.
Aragorn: And you smell like fish.
Legolas: O.O! EW!
Blood thirsty: Legolas! You nasty muse! It's gollum, not me!
Legolas: Oh… hehehe. My bad.
Blood thirsty: * sighs * where did he get such a dirty mind?
Legolas: From hanging out with you! I told you that!
Aragorn: Uh, I thought you said gollum was back? Well where is he?
Blood thirsty: * shrugs * I dunno… Ah well, on with chapter ten.
Miranda was a wreck. She had not stopped sobbing over loosing Legolas to the orcs. All she would do was cry on Aragorns shoulder, making him very uncomfortable.
"… and if I w-was a b-better warrior, he-he'd still b-b-be here!" She wept. Aragorn patted her head awkwardly, and looked to someone for help. It was Gandalf that came to the rescue.
" We will get him back." Gandalf murmured into her ear. She squealed and bawled even more.
" No we won't! Legolas was the ransom! The orcs' heirs from Helms Deeps are the ones that captured King Thranduil!" She sobbed. Gandalf shook his head.
" We will get him back, mark my word." Aragorn said. Usually when he used that tone, it worked; though it only made her cry more.
" We won't get him back! He'll be turned into an orc, and we'll lose him forever!" She bawled. Aragorn was fed up with her. He stepped forward, and she did not. She fell face first into the mud.
" If we do want to catch up with them, we must leave now." Aragorn said bluntly. Miranda pulled herself out of the mud, and finally got to moving.
" You know, the horses would be really handy right now…" Miranda said, completely out of the blue. " I heard that dwarves really hate riding horses…" She added. Gimli glared at her accusation.
" I would do nothing of the sort! It was not my fault a certain elf-maiden cannot tie a proper knot." Gimli shot back. The bickering went on for a little while longer, until they were silenced from Aragorns' classic 'death glare'. The rest of the day went on and off with the constant bickering.
Legolas moaned. His head hurt so much. As did his side. He was in a cave; the musty scent told him that much. Though right now he was thankful for the lack of light. His head was, anyway. He twisted and turned, but the cold cave floor was not comfortable.
" Legolas! Your awake at last. I was worried." Came the familiar voice that Legolas wanted to hear so badly.
" Father! I was so worried about you!" Legolas exclaimed. King Thranduil's face softened into pity.
" It is you we should worry about. They're after your blood, not mine." The elder elf spoke softly. Legolas lowered his head in thought. Before long, an orc came up, and yanked Legolas' head up by his hair. The elf let out a small cry of surprise. King Thrandruil reached over to help him, but stopped immediately when the orc increased the pressure. Legolas had no choice but to follow where the orc lead him to. His father was soon out of sight, and Legolas felt helpless. His head felt so sore, and he felt very ill.
' Orc poison… it's not that bad… I mean, look at all the colors, and the way we're spinning!'
' Oh wonderful, I have to deal with a wounded elf, and a delirious conscience. Oy vey.' Legolas just wanted to sleep, but he was delirious, or was he? His mind kept wandering off somewhere, wanting to blame some creature for this whole mess and his headache, so he let sleep overtake him.
He was jarred from his slumber by a swift smack in the face. From what Legolas could tell, he wasn't delirious anymore, though he felt extremely sick. His stomach was tossing around, making him want to vomit. And with the stench of orcs, he wondered what was stopping him. One of them turned to him, and in common tongue spoke.
" You're Legolas Greenleaf, are you not?" The orc asked. Legolas looked him over, and decided he really wasn't all that intelligent.
" Uh, no. Of course not. What ever gave you that idea?" Legolas asked, trying to inconspicuous. While in his head, he was trying to find a name.
" How do you say Legolas backwards?! Uh… Lasoleg… No, Legosal… damnit! Salogel. Salogel! Yeah! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! Uh, I mean S-M-A-R-T!'
' Stupid. Had to think about that last one, didn't you?'
'Shut up! I'm the one who figured out how to say our name backwards! So how about cutting me some sl-'
" Speak your name." The orc demanded. Legolas fidgeted a little, but spoke quickly.
" Salogel." Legolas said, hoping the orc would buy it. The orc nodded, but the one behind him grunted.
" Is it just a coincidence that Salogel is Legolas spelled backwards?" The orc asked, grinning maliciously.
' Hehe, your on your own now elfy, buh byes! Have a nice… uh… torturing session.'
' Yeah, toodles! Send us a post card, okay?' Legolas knew he had to be delirious again. The orc stepped forward, and pulled Legolas up by his neck. Legolas began to gasp from the lack of air.
" It is not smart to play mind games with orcs. We are not as dumb as we appear." He hissed. Legolas was feeling quite sick now, and really didn't want to get the orc already angrier than he was. His stomach reeled. Legolas was now at the verge of vomiting. The orc threw Legolas on the ground just in time. Legolas began to wretch and heave. He hadn't eaten anything in the last little while, so all he could do was dry heave. The orcs laughed and jeered at Legolas.
' Play dead doggy! Woof woof!' his mind was now making no sense, but it could work. Legolas collapsed, and stayed still. The orcs stopped jesting and sneering. The general came up, and lightly tapped him on the shoulder. Legolas gave no response.
" Gurkrek is going to kill us…" he muttered. He spoke something in Mordor, and the others left. Legolas was trying his hardest to appear dead, though his stomach still wanted to heave. The elf kept his eyes half lidded, and as soon as the orc had his back turned, he bolted.
Legolas' legs were still not very responsive, though he still tried with all his might. He was becoming very dizzy, and was really starting to worry. He had ran back to where his father was, and began untying him.
" Legolas? How did you manage to escape?" His father asked. Legolas' mind was not anywhere near that vicinity. His entire head felt like a bon fire, and his legs were about as stable as a hobbit in a bar.
" Legolas?" His father asked again. Legolas didn't even realize he was being talked to. He probably would have been out by now, had his mind been in good health. The fever was taking over, and Legolas was just making the knots around his fathers hands even harder to untie.
After about five minutes of fiddling with the knot, he had it undone. They both broke into a sprint, though Legolas was stumbling a lot. Even before they reached the end of the tunnel they were in, four very mean looking orcs headed them off. They yanked Thranduil away from Legolas, and grabbed the younger elf by his hair, and threw him to the ground. The entire world around Legolas was spinning. He faintly recognized his fathers pleas for Legolas' safety, though he did feel a sharp pain in his head; it wasn't the usual dull throb that he was used to.
Legolas was becoming a little more aware that he was no longer in the same area as his father. He was being dragged somewhere. Another sharp pain in his head told him they were dragging him by his feet, letting his head drag on the ground. After about another five minutes of small rocks snaring his hair, hr was taken into some sort of room. It smelt like rotten flesh and mould. It was moist and putrid. His mind didn't want to register the surroundings. There were many metal devices. Big and small, most were rusty and stained with blood. He probably would have been terrified, if he was more awake. He was in an orc torture chamber.
" Please! No more walking! We must rest, I beg of you!" Miranda wailed. She had insisted on moving before. She had complained about hobbits always wanting rests, when really, they had never even talked about the topic. Now she was nearly crawling.
" Legolas would never stop had it been you that was kidnapped." Gimli said non-chalontly. Miranda tried to shoot him a dirty look, but with her face sweaty, red, and dirty, it wasn't very effective. She gave up, and started to pout.
" I want a bath, and a nice glass of cool wine, and-" She was cut off by Aragorn pouring a skin of water on her, followed by Sam dumping some beer on her.
" There is your bath." Aragorn snapped.
" And that's the closest you'll get to wine on this kind of adventure." Sam glared. Miranda just looked too shocked to care. Her mouth was wide open, and her eyes were like saucers. Before anyone knew what was happening, she began to bawl again. They all probably would have ignored her, but they didn't want to be found my even more orcs.
" Please be silent!" Gandalf said, trying to make his voice heard above her sobs. Still she cried and wept. Aragorn could think of no other solution. He walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. She immediately stopped crying.
" What are you d-" she was cut off by Aragorn pushing his fingertips into the tender part of her neck. She went ridged and then collapsed.
" An old trick I learned from Legolas. Pressure points work every time." Aragorn smirked.
Blood thirsty: Oy, please, tell me if you want me to continue, and tell me honestly. I want no pity, or just plain nice-ness. I want to know if you think I'm good enough as an author to continue.
Legolas: If you want my opinion I think you-
Blood thirsty: don't answer that. You're not a reviewer. You are a muse. Get used to it. So now, I REALLY want your honest, -possibly blunt- opinion.
Legolas: I have no say in this. But if I was you, I'd probably tell her to get a life… but if course I'm her muse…
Blood thirsty: Yes. Now for shout outs!
Memesasuka & #1legolasobsesser " Heh, thanks for the review! My muses love me! They really do! And I love them too, but you know what they say, " you hurt the ones you love " and I think if Legolas was real, and met me, I think I would scare the hell outa him. Hehehe And I'm glad it would go into the Fanfiction hall of fame!
Amy " Well, technically, my teachers aren't on strike yet. But they will by, but right now, it's teachers convention. And yeah, I'm not the kind of person to make a character perfect and fall in love with him, and he loves her back. So I kinda wanted you to either hate her, pity her, or possibly even both.
Fried coffeeholic " Glad you liked it! At lease it made you laugh.