Blood thirsty: I'm a good writer… I'm a good writer… I'm a good writer…
Legolas: Uh… what are you doing?
Blood thirsty: What does it look like!? I'm chanting, so shoo!
Aragorn: Whoa, somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed.
Legolas: Yeah, or maybe someone pissed in her corn flakes. * snickers *
Blood thirsty: I'll have you know that nobody pissed in my corn flakes! It would have had to be 'pissed in my crispers' for it to be true!
Gollum: Me backsss… got preciousss…
Blood thirsty: Hey, that's my ring, you little puke! * chases after gollum *
Legolas: When do you think she'll be back?
Aragorn: Hopefully in time for authors notes…
Legolas: * shrugs *
Gimli could no longer take the heavy load he was carrying.
" She must eat like a cow, and have a hollow leg to keep the fat in." Gimli said, releasing the elf from his back, and letting her hit the ground. She stirred, but other than that, she appeared to be unconscious.
" Fine. You have carried her for a long while. I shall take that duty now" Aragorn muttered, obviously not too happy with his new chore. He knelt down to pick her up, and her hands grabbed at his throat.
" You! You are going to pay for that! I'll show you pressure points!" Miranda screamed. Aragorn was caught off guard, and found it difficult to break free of her grasp. The four hobbits began to pry her fingers off Aragorn's throat. After a long battle of hands, the ranger broke free of her grasp and had to be restrained from strangling her by Gandalf. After the ranger had calmed down, he shrugged off the Istar
" We will travel now. But if she starts bawling again, I'm tying her to a tree and leaving her for the Orcs." He muttered menacingly.Usually when he said something like that, you'd know that he wasn't serious, but with the tone of voice he used, even the hobbits were unsure of what to think. They began to walk, and kept the pace quick in fear of getting on the ranger's nerves. He was not in the mood to wait.
" What shall we do with him?" A harsh voice asked gleefully. Legolas was just beginning to wake up, and found himself chained by his wrists to a wall. His eyes were closed when he was unconscious, but they had put a blindfold on him. His head was hurting immensely, though he could now think clearly. He was hanging from a wall by his wrists, listening to orcs talk about what they would do to him.
" Let us brand him. That should prove enough sport for now." A different orc squealed. He was answered by cries of glee and malice. Legolas really didn't like the sound of that. An orc tore off the piece of cloth that covered the elf's eyes. Legolas looked around, trying to take in every little detail. A pile of red coals caught his eye. A metal rod was sticking out of the small inferno. Panic rose in the elf as they lifted the rod out of the coals, revealing a red hot symbol at the end. It was some sort of orc letter.
" Where shall we mark him?" One of the Orcs asked excitedly, the Orc Legolas observed to be their Leader spoke.
" Right on his heart." He said, malice mixing in with joy. Legolas became very nervous. The Orcs stepped forward, one tearing the material above his heart, revealing pale flesh. The Orc that held Legolas' torture device was about a step away, and lifted the metal. He had nearly pressed it against the pale skin, when Legolas gave a cry.
" WAIT!" He shouted. To his utter amazement, the Orc stopped.
" Give us one good reason why we shouldn't do this?" The Orc demanded
" Well… I uh… because! Because if you do, then I shall call upon the power of the Ents! They will come and rescue me. We forest elves can do that, in case you didn't know." Legolas bluffed, hoping none of them knew how big of a lie that was. The Orcs talked and grunted amongst themselves, before turning to him again.
" If you have the power to call upon the Ents, then why haven't you already?" One asked. The others nodded in unison. He was now in even more trouble. Legolas just got a brainstorm. He let out a shrill whistle; not unlike the one he used to get Aragorn's attention. The Orcs looked around, terrified.
" I warned you, but you didn't listen." Legolas jeered, basking in their looks of horror. They began to scramble, completely forgetting about their captive elf. They had raced out of the chamber, leaving Legolas to his own devices.
The Orcs had only left one guard for King Thranduil, and had absolutely no one guarding the entrance to the cave. They didn't want to face the Ents, though they feared that they may have to, so they had all the forces that they could spare.
" I don't want to be here! I want to go home! I don't care about anything anymore!" Miranda wailed. Aragorn looked behind his shoulder, and with a psychotic look in his eyes. He turned swiftly on one heel, and walked slowly and menacingly towards her. She looked terrified now, and ceased her whining, glancing nervously at the rope he had in his hands.
" Did I not warn you about your whining? It would be easier on all of us if you were left behind." He said quietly. Never had anyone seen him so short of patience. It unnerved the hobbits and especially Gandalf. The wizard laid a hand on the ranger's shoulder, and pulled him back. The elf had a look of deer-in-headlights in her eyes.
Suddenly their attention was taken by the sound of axes against wood. They heard the foul language of the Orcs being shouted. They ran into a denser part of the forest, and hid in the bushes. Gandalf strained to hear what was being said. After a while, a look of confusion and amusement passed over the Maia's features.
" They are preparing all their forces for the group that comes to rescue the king and prince. Though I do not understand why they are worrying about Ents." He said with a grin.
" Maybe we can find a way to sneak past them! They will be on guard for a group of walking trees, not us!" Merry chirped. It was not long before the Orcs were chopping down every tree in sight, and for the group this was very helpful. While the group of Orcs were chopping and hacking, they ran by quietly and unnoticed. There were a few stray Orcs, but they were all too occupied looking at trees rather than watching for other enemies. The fellowship halted when they reached the edge of the forest.
There was a cliff, not a large one, but it was noticeable. The small entrance to the cave was almost missed. They nearly followed a path leading away from the cave entrance, had it not been for Miranda pointing it out.
"Are you sure this is the right cave?" Pippin asked. They had reached a fork in the tunnel, and were unsure of what to do next. One tunnel was big. Probably wide enough for three full sized men to walk side by side. The other was not as big. It could still fit a grown man into it, but was a little cramped.
" We should split up. I have a hunch that we won't have to deal with too many Orcs. Hobbits, you go down the smaller tunnel, the rest of you shall follow me." Gandalf said. They nodded and proceeded.
" Move it Pip! Have you gotten fatter?" Merry squeaked. The two had been walking side by side. It was squishy, but it seemed to work, until they got stuck.
"I haven't gotten fat, it's you who has been eating so much!" Pippin retorted. Sam and Frodo, having more sense than Pip and Merry, had walked in single file.
" Actually, I think it's the tunnel that has gotten thinner. It's tall enough to fit all of us, if we were piled on top of each other." Sam stated. It was true, the tunnel wasn't all that short, it was just thin, and had gotten thinner as they went deeper. Merry and Pippin were squirming around, trying to get through. Frodo looked at Sam, and Sam looked at Frodo. In unison, one grabbed Pippin, the other pushed Merry, and they both popped out of the crevasse they were stuck in.
" Ha! I'm in the lead Pip!" Merry shouted and stuck out his tongue. Pippin muttered something under his breath, but continued forward.
Gandalf held his hand up. They halted abruptly, and waited for someone to speak. Gandalf spoke no louder than a whisper.
" There is at least one Orc up ahead. We must be cautious." He murmured. They all followed silently.
Thranduil heard footsteps approaching ever so quietly. He wondered if the Orc knew they were there. The elven ruler didn't know who the footsteps belonged to, he knew they weren't from Orcs. Then there was a clang of metal from the tunnel. It was dark, so the Orc took a torch that was hanging up, and walked towards it.
When the Orc got a little further along the tunnel there was a cry, and the sound of metal against metal. After about three clangs, all went silent; all except the footsteps. After a few moments, Aragorn and Gandalf emerged from the shadows.
" King Thrandruil! I have carried out my mission, and have come to rescue you!" Miranda shouted. The king gave her an odd look. Aragorn and Gandalf were untying the king. ' It's much easier to escape when you're being saved by someone who isn't delirious.' He mused to himself.
" We must find Legolas. I fear the worst for him. He was going through some sort of illness, probably from a dose of Orc poison. He was caught." Thranduil said urgently. They nodded, and followed his lead.
The hobbits had reached a point where the passage became wider. They continued on for a while until they found a piece of cloth. They would have let it pass, had Frodo not looked at it more carefully.
" It's a piece of Legolas clothes! It must have gotten snared!" He exclaimed. Sam grinned.
" Ah Frodo, where would we be without your keen eyes and sharp mind?" Sam said.
" Probably still stuck back in that little passage!" Pippin chirped. They began to pick up the pace. Before long, there was another separation in the tunnel. Frodo looked at it cautiously.
" Merry and Pip, you take the one on the right. Sam and I shall head to the left." Merry and Pippin were already down the right side of the split.
King Thranduil stopped. There was no possible way they were all going to fit into that one little tunnel.
" We must go back, for this is much too small." The king said. Aragorn nodded.
" As well as the hobbits are down this way, so should Legolas be down there, they will find him." Aragorn said confidently. The king smiled, and began to lead them back through the passage from which they came.
Pippin wrinkled his nose in disgust. The stench was horrible. It reminded him of the smell of the Orcs when he and Merry were taken captive. He shuddered.
" Well, should we check in this room… chamber… thing?" Merry asked, unsure of what the opening ahead of them was.
" It smells like burnt Orc flesh! I don't want to go in there!" Pippin whined.
" We'll only have a peek, and if we see anything dangerous, we can always go back." Merry reasoned. Pippin sighed in defeat.
" Alright, but if we find nothing but Orcs, and I get killed, I'm coming back to haunt you." Pippin grumbled. The pair walked cautiously towards the entrance. The foul stench making it hard to keep from gagging. They peered inside, and instantly rushed over to Legolas, who was chained to the far wall.
" Legolas! Awaken! Please don't tell me they've killed you!" Pippin shouted, trying to rouse the elf. The two hobbits were greeted by a sly smile from their elven friend.
" I am awake, and not dead. Though something is amiss. Where are all the Orcs?" The elf asked. The hobbits smiled coyly.
" They are preparing for a battle against the Ents!" Merry could barely hold back his laughter. Legolas had a look of pure shock on his face. He smirked at the thought of them being stupid enough to believe him. Merry and Pippin then took to the task of getting Legolas out of the chains that encircled his wrists. After a few minutes of lock picking, Legolas was free. He rolled his stiff wrists around a few times.
" We should leave now." He said. The hobbits nodded, and lead him down the narrow tunnel. They had finally reached the fork in the tunnel that had forced the hobbits apart, when from down the passage to their right, footsteps and hushed voices could be heard. The hobbits and elf froze in their tracks.
Legolas: Well, that was abrupt. Yet again, how predictable.
Blood thirsty: Shut up, I am on the fifth page okay? Cut me some slack. Sheash, I am not a lean, mean, writing machine.
Aragorn: Oh yes. We can sure tell that by the way you type. So did you get your ring back?
Blood thirsty: No, gollum ate it. He swallowed my ring! Oh, and Amy? So sorry about the length. I know it's probably long, and tediously boring. But don't worry, probably only about two to three more chapters, and it's done. * wipes sweat of forehead * I've spent all afternoon on this, and it's probably not that great, but oh well. If my reviewers are happy, then so am I. I just also found something that's just a little freaky… The actress that plays for Eowyn's name is Miranda… hehe… oops… ^-^;
Now for shout outs.
#1legolasobsesser " heh, I don't think Aragorn's that mean… but that's okay, I'm ruthless! Hahaha!!! Don't worry, I won't stop writing! I'm just glad you're enjoying the story!
Isabelle " Hehehe, I kind of got the idea of ' fountains of tears' pouring out of her eyes too! And I will try and lighten up on my muses. And damnit, I'll get my stupid ring back!
Laureacale " Hey! You're still there! So glad to hear from you! Anyhoo, this one should be out soon, if my beta reader is able to get through it. I doubt it, like I said, it's long, and probably very boring. But thanks for reviewing!
Amy " My wonderful beta reader! I hope this chapter isn't too bad, but you'll be happy to know that I'm almost done the entire thing! Then we can stick a fork in it. But for now, I tried to get rid of all the errors, but knowing lil' ol' me, I probably missed about a million. * sighs *
Well, thanks a bunch! You're an awesome beta! Two and a half thumbs up for you!
Blood thirsty: Okay, so again, I'll do this every so often.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot, and I highly doubt anyone would want it anyway. Plus I am broke. No money = bad suing case.