Oh, and the customary disclaimers begin! Everything in these texts belong to JK Rowling, everything is hers. Bla bla, yadda yadda... Now, more disclaimers! This has slash content, between Remus and Sirius if you hadn't guessed, so if you don't swing that way I suggest you don't read on. Nothing pisses me off more than someone who reads my fics just to bash them!
So, enjoy! (There will be free hotdogs afterwards, if you care to stick around!)
Title: Wicked Games
Date: 1/5/02
Author: Leila
Author's tragically dead message board: [1]http://www.sipahigil.com/josh/ubb
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It was a cool morning, as rays of sunshine shone in thick locks through heavy clouds. There was a strange mist about the grounds, giving it an almost mystical look as two lone figures sat outlined in their gray shroud. There was the faint sound of laughter, and two male voices, as they playfully tossed grapes at each other, and one steals a blanket from the other.
"No fair!" Sirius shouted, grinning as Remus tugged his blanket off his body and rolled across the grass in it, "Seriously Remus! It's freezing out here!"
"You should have thought about that before throwing your grapes at me!" Remus laughed, sitting up and scooting swiftly backwards as Sirius reached out for his covers. Sirius climbed to his knees and pursued Remus, until finally Remus caught himself on the corner of his blanket and fell backwards. Sirius grinned and leapt over the distance between them, landing on top of Remus like a cat.
"I've got you now," he whispered, grabbing the corners and pulling as Remus fought to hold them tight against his chest. Remus grinned, and opened his arms, grabbing Sirius by the neck and pulling him against him. Sirius laughed and clutched Remus's torso, breathing in his strangely earthy scent.
And there they lay; holding each other tightly, covered by a thick cloud of fog. "Oh Remus..." Sirius whispered, closing his eyes and letting his body melt into his loves, "I never thought"-
"You never thought we'd be together. I tortured myself for months over, wondering if you felt the same way..."
"Was there ever any question? I should have thought it was obvious!" Sirius whispered, listening to Remus's heartbeat, his breaths tuned to Remus's as he held onto the perfect harmony of the moment.
"Yes, I suppose it was..." Remus said, furrowing his brow, maybe I wasn't sure if I did, he thought... but dismissed it. Nothing was going to ruin this for them now. Nothing could keep them apart.
Could it?
"Hey Sirius, what's up?" James asked, as Sirius ran hurriedly into the great hall, just making the end of breakfast. He ran in and sat down at his usual place next to James, and across from Lily, and quickly grabbed a plate of bacon and piled a side of eggs on next to it, followed by a large helping of has browns. "You're always late to breakfast, and you always sleep through first period... What are you doing that's keeping you up so late?" he asked, tossing Lily a glance that Sirius couldn't read very well. Sirius stared blankly at him, and then to Lily, and then down at his plate
"I err... I've been studying a lot, it's nothing, I just need to pick up my grades. You know, I've had to stay up late, hitting the books and all," he said with mock excitement. He hid his face in his eating as he shoveled eggs into his mouth.
He didn't mean to hide it from them... he knew they'd understand, and he knew they'd be fine about it, but something just told him not to. Something inside made him want to keep everything secret. At least for now, he didn't want anyone to know about him and Remus. If that meant getting up at four AM and spending his mornings lying on wet grass, so be it. He loved the time he spent with Remus anyway, especially because it was secluded and quiet... he didn't like the noise of public places, and... he didn't like prying eyes.
Sirius jumped as a hand grasped his shoulder. He looked up at its owner and smiled, "Morning Remus," he said, shifting uncomfortably. Remus smiled down at him and sat close to him in the seat.
"Good morning," he said curtly, smiling up at everyone around him, "Lily, James, good morning," he added, smiling at them in turn. He played with a napkin in front of him and stared at it as he twirled its corners in his fingers. There was something to be said for finding entertainment in such simple objects... Remus was sure of it, if only he knew. He furrowed his brow again, turning his gaze away from the table. He wasn't at all sure what was bothering him, but something certainly was.
It was ten till, and they all decided to start off to classes. Remus picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder, as Sirius hastily shoved some books into his own bag and stood, fumbling with the latch as he stumbled a few feet away from the table.
"Always so disorganized!" Remus scolded playfully, pushing on Sirius's shoulder and walking up beside him. Finally Sirius succeeded in latching his bag and slung it over his shoulder as well.
"What can I say?" he said, smiling as he put on a pompous act, jutting his hips and throwing his chin in the air, "I'm just that perfect!"
"Ha! I've seen Slytherins with more coordination than you have," he joked, and grabbed onto Sirius's wrist, "Come on, we're going to be late!" Sirius grinned and sped up with him, making good time down the long corridor on the way to class. He sighed and closed his eyes momentarily, basking in these new emotions that flooded his mind.
Before he and Remus found each other, his time at Hogwarts was spent wastefully, as he took all passing moments for granted, living always for tomorrow, but now... he couldn't help but savor every second of the day he was with Remus, there was never a time when he wanted anything more than to be with him, in his arms! Well, almost never. Remus led them down a few darker passageways and to the old Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. In front of it stood a large group of Ravenclaws, all laughing and joking playfully, enjoying the last few minutes they had before class.
Sirius smiled up at them, but suddenly felt self conscious about himself... He pulled his hand away uneasily from Remus's, brushing it through his thick, ebony locks. A few of the girls noticed him and began giggling insanely, as they quickly made their way to block his path.
"Hi Sirius!" one of them said, in that airy, bubbly voice that Sirius usually associated with Ravenclaw. He smiled and leaned on his hips, posing unintentionally for them. Never let it be said that Sirius wasn't handsome. He was just as popular with the ladies as any other boy. He could have his pick, usually, and most of the time he did!
Remus felt a cold, sick feeling sweep through his stomach. What was he doing? Flirting with them? And right in front of him! Remus hastily made his way into the classroom and into a seat in the far, back corner, where no one would care to glance. He buried his head in his palms... "You're being stupid Remus," he told himself, swallowing heavily, "It's nothing, he's just being friendly... he cares about you," he reassured himself, but something inside him made him wish he could stand up and let out his anger. He wanted to throw his old desk across the room, into the blackboard, and he could if he cared to try... He hated losing his temper, though. He sighed heavily and took five deep breaths, "calm," he told himself, "calm..."
Sirius tried his best to get away from the Ravenclaw girls, but they did a good job of holding him up. When he finally made it into the classroom, he spotted Remus instantly, holding his head in his hands and looking miserable. Sirius stared hard at him, knowing exactly what was wrong, but wondered if he should ask anyway. He began towards Remus, but soon two Ravenclaws had taken the seats adjacent to him. Sirius paused, but decided to act as if nothing was wrong. He took his place in the back row, near the center and threw his bag onto the floor. Sitting heavily, he cast a glance over to Remus, where Remus was staring at his desk, trying to ignore Sirius's prying eyes.
Sirius swallowed and turned his attention to the professor, as class had just started. He couldn't be bothered to pay attention, though, as the professor's words simply droned past him. Sirius felt horrible. Why did he let those girls catch him up in the hall? Did he want to make Remus jealous? He suddenly had the urge to walk right on up to Remus, grab him by the chin, and kiss him. Right there in front of everybody, just so he could see that Sirius Black still cared for him.
Notes. The whole period was dedicated to long, boring note taking. Finally, the bell rang and Sirius stood, collecting his things and making his way to the front of the classroom to wait for Remus. Remus moved slowly, carefully putting his books in his bag, lifting it gently and wrapping the strap over his shoulder, it was almost like he didn't care to do anything, but he did because it was expected of him. Finally they met, and Remus smiled,
"Hey. God, could he be any more monotonous?" he laughed, shielding his mouth from the professor's view. All bad feelings that Sirius held vanished, as he laughed along with his friend, and walked slowly out of the room, as to let everyone else go ahead of them. He smiled and looked down at the floor as they climbed a small set of stairs. "Remus," he said awkwardly.
"Yes?" Remus said, almost too eager, as if he'd been waiting for something, "What?"
What had he been waiting for? An apology? Sirius would never break down and apologize. But why did Remus even want an apology? Sirius hadn't done anything wrong; he'd simply talked with some Ravenclaw girls before coming into class, which was all! He sighed and kept smiling, as he knew he should. Remus never was one for letting his feelings be known. He was afraid they would offend, and he couldn't very well afford to be offending people, what with his... his condition.
"Well... well, never mind," Sirius said, grasping Remus's hand almost forcefully as they entered the next corridor. Remus smiled and held on, rubbing his thumb slowly over Sirius's index finger.
"Alright," he said, "That's alright."
That night in bed, Remus silently thanked god for giving this life to him. His curses were many, yes, but he had never felt so complete before. Never so grateful for what the world had given him! He rolled over and smiled, brushing a thick, ebony lock off the face of his companion. "I think I love you," he whispered, watching Sirius's closed eyes as he slept peacefully, "I think I always have..."
Remus's eyes drifted slowly closed, and finally he fell asleep. "I love you too," Sirius whispered, smiling as he pulled Remus's silent body closer to his own.
The next morning Remus woke up alone in his dormitory. It was Saturday, and there were no classes, so he felt free to roll on over and go back to sleep. He yawned and stretched out, grasping his second pillow and holding it as if it were another body next to his own.
"Err..." he muttered, as his eyes shot open. Sirius wasn't with him. He sat up in his bed, staring blankly around the room. He'd left! Remus smiled and threw his legs over the side of the bed, pulling on his house slippers as he ran out of the dormitory. He followed the small staircase down into the Gryffindor common room, and calmly walked in to join a dozen or so of his fellow housemates. "Good morning," he said, smiling up at a group of first years that waved cheerily at him.
Sirius, though, was not there. Remus frowned slowly, scanning the room a second time to make sure he hadn't missed him. When sure Sirius wasn't around, Remus made his way back up into the common room and got dressed.
"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked when he met up with James and Lily down in the great hall.
"I don't know," James said, taking a bite of toast with jelly on it.
"Neither do I," Lily said, "But now that I think of it, I haven't seen him around this morning," she added, smiling and leaning her elbows against the table.
"Well, he wasn't in my- the dormitory when I woke up this morning, and he wasn't in the common room... do you have any idea where he could be?"
"Nope."
"Not a clue."
"Oh well," Remus said, sighing miserably, "I guess he'll show up later.
But he didn't.
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Aye! The first chapter of my first fiction. I should have the next out in a few days, so wait up for it, ne? Reply! I love replies, I never used to get replies, and I probably never will, but there's a cookie in it for anyone who does!!
And, now the moment you've ALL been waiting for, (I know I have), HOTDOGS!!!! **hands out hotdogs** YEAH! HOTDOGS! .... Err.... _... yeah.... H-..hotdogs.... never mind. _
References
1. http://www.sipahigil.com/josh/ubb
So, enjoy! (There will be free hotdogs afterwards, if you care to stick around!)
Title: Wicked Games
Date: 1/5/02
Author: Leila
Author's tragically dead message board: [1]http://www.sipahigil.com/josh/ubb
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
It was a cool morning, as rays of sunshine shone in thick locks through heavy clouds. There was a strange mist about the grounds, giving it an almost mystical look as two lone figures sat outlined in their gray shroud. There was the faint sound of laughter, and two male voices, as they playfully tossed grapes at each other, and one steals a blanket from the other.
"No fair!" Sirius shouted, grinning as Remus tugged his blanket off his body and rolled across the grass in it, "Seriously Remus! It's freezing out here!"
"You should have thought about that before throwing your grapes at me!" Remus laughed, sitting up and scooting swiftly backwards as Sirius reached out for his covers. Sirius climbed to his knees and pursued Remus, until finally Remus caught himself on the corner of his blanket and fell backwards. Sirius grinned and leapt over the distance between them, landing on top of Remus like a cat.
"I've got you now," he whispered, grabbing the corners and pulling as Remus fought to hold them tight against his chest. Remus grinned, and opened his arms, grabbing Sirius by the neck and pulling him against him. Sirius laughed and clutched Remus's torso, breathing in his strangely earthy scent.
And there they lay; holding each other tightly, covered by a thick cloud of fog. "Oh Remus..." Sirius whispered, closing his eyes and letting his body melt into his loves, "I never thought"-
"You never thought we'd be together. I tortured myself for months over, wondering if you felt the same way..."
"Was there ever any question? I should have thought it was obvious!" Sirius whispered, listening to Remus's heartbeat, his breaths tuned to Remus's as he held onto the perfect harmony of the moment.
"Yes, I suppose it was..." Remus said, furrowing his brow, maybe I wasn't sure if I did, he thought... but dismissed it. Nothing was going to ruin this for them now. Nothing could keep them apart.
Could it?
"Hey Sirius, what's up?" James asked, as Sirius ran hurriedly into the great hall, just making the end of breakfast. He ran in and sat down at his usual place next to James, and across from Lily, and quickly grabbed a plate of bacon and piled a side of eggs on next to it, followed by a large helping of has browns. "You're always late to breakfast, and you always sleep through first period... What are you doing that's keeping you up so late?" he asked, tossing Lily a glance that Sirius couldn't read very well. Sirius stared blankly at him, and then to Lily, and then down at his plate
"I err... I've been studying a lot, it's nothing, I just need to pick up my grades. You know, I've had to stay up late, hitting the books and all," he said with mock excitement. He hid his face in his eating as he shoveled eggs into his mouth.
He didn't mean to hide it from them... he knew they'd understand, and he knew they'd be fine about it, but something just told him not to. Something inside made him want to keep everything secret. At least for now, he didn't want anyone to know about him and Remus. If that meant getting up at four AM and spending his mornings lying on wet grass, so be it. He loved the time he spent with Remus anyway, especially because it was secluded and quiet... he didn't like the noise of public places, and... he didn't like prying eyes.
Sirius jumped as a hand grasped his shoulder. He looked up at its owner and smiled, "Morning Remus," he said, shifting uncomfortably. Remus smiled down at him and sat close to him in the seat.
"Good morning," he said curtly, smiling up at everyone around him, "Lily, James, good morning," he added, smiling at them in turn. He played with a napkin in front of him and stared at it as he twirled its corners in his fingers. There was something to be said for finding entertainment in such simple objects... Remus was sure of it, if only he knew. He furrowed his brow again, turning his gaze away from the table. He wasn't at all sure what was bothering him, but something certainly was.
It was ten till, and they all decided to start off to classes. Remus picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder, as Sirius hastily shoved some books into his own bag and stood, fumbling with the latch as he stumbled a few feet away from the table.
"Always so disorganized!" Remus scolded playfully, pushing on Sirius's shoulder and walking up beside him. Finally Sirius succeeded in latching his bag and slung it over his shoulder as well.
"What can I say?" he said, smiling as he put on a pompous act, jutting his hips and throwing his chin in the air, "I'm just that perfect!"
"Ha! I've seen Slytherins with more coordination than you have," he joked, and grabbed onto Sirius's wrist, "Come on, we're going to be late!" Sirius grinned and sped up with him, making good time down the long corridor on the way to class. He sighed and closed his eyes momentarily, basking in these new emotions that flooded his mind.
Before he and Remus found each other, his time at Hogwarts was spent wastefully, as he took all passing moments for granted, living always for tomorrow, but now... he couldn't help but savor every second of the day he was with Remus, there was never a time when he wanted anything more than to be with him, in his arms! Well, almost never. Remus led them down a few darker passageways and to the old Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. In front of it stood a large group of Ravenclaws, all laughing and joking playfully, enjoying the last few minutes they had before class.
Sirius smiled up at them, but suddenly felt self conscious about himself... He pulled his hand away uneasily from Remus's, brushing it through his thick, ebony locks. A few of the girls noticed him and began giggling insanely, as they quickly made their way to block his path.
"Hi Sirius!" one of them said, in that airy, bubbly voice that Sirius usually associated with Ravenclaw. He smiled and leaned on his hips, posing unintentionally for them. Never let it be said that Sirius wasn't handsome. He was just as popular with the ladies as any other boy. He could have his pick, usually, and most of the time he did!
Remus felt a cold, sick feeling sweep through his stomach. What was he doing? Flirting with them? And right in front of him! Remus hastily made his way into the classroom and into a seat in the far, back corner, where no one would care to glance. He buried his head in his palms... "You're being stupid Remus," he told himself, swallowing heavily, "It's nothing, he's just being friendly... he cares about you," he reassured himself, but something inside him made him wish he could stand up and let out his anger. He wanted to throw his old desk across the room, into the blackboard, and he could if he cared to try... He hated losing his temper, though. He sighed heavily and took five deep breaths, "calm," he told himself, "calm..."
Sirius tried his best to get away from the Ravenclaw girls, but they did a good job of holding him up. When he finally made it into the classroom, he spotted Remus instantly, holding his head in his hands and looking miserable. Sirius stared hard at him, knowing exactly what was wrong, but wondered if he should ask anyway. He began towards Remus, but soon two Ravenclaws had taken the seats adjacent to him. Sirius paused, but decided to act as if nothing was wrong. He took his place in the back row, near the center and threw his bag onto the floor. Sitting heavily, he cast a glance over to Remus, where Remus was staring at his desk, trying to ignore Sirius's prying eyes.
Sirius swallowed and turned his attention to the professor, as class had just started. He couldn't be bothered to pay attention, though, as the professor's words simply droned past him. Sirius felt horrible. Why did he let those girls catch him up in the hall? Did he want to make Remus jealous? He suddenly had the urge to walk right on up to Remus, grab him by the chin, and kiss him. Right there in front of everybody, just so he could see that Sirius Black still cared for him.
Notes. The whole period was dedicated to long, boring note taking. Finally, the bell rang and Sirius stood, collecting his things and making his way to the front of the classroom to wait for Remus. Remus moved slowly, carefully putting his books in his bag, lifting it gently and wrapping the strap over his shoulder, it was almost like he didn't care to do anything, but he did because it was expected of him. Finally they met, and Remus smiled,
"Hey. God, could he be any more monotonous?" he laughed, shielding his mouth from the professor's view. All bad feelings that Sirius held vanished, as he laughed along with his friend, and walked slowly out of the room, as to let everyone else go ahead of them. He smiled and looked down at the floor as they climbed a small set of stairs. "Remus," he said awkwardly.
"Yes?" Remus said, almost too eager, as if he'd been waiting for something, "What?"
What had he been waiting for? An apology? Sirius would never break down and apologize. But why did Remus even want an apology? Sirius hadn't done anything wrong; he'd simply talked with some Ravenclaw girls before coming into class, which was all! He sighed and kept smiling, as he knew he should. Remus never was one for letting his feelings be known. He was afraid they would offend, and he couldn't very well afford to be offending people, what with his... his condition.
"Well... well, never mind," Sirius said, grasping Remus's hand almost forcefully as they entered the next corridor. Remus smiled and held on, rubbing his thumb slowly over Sirius's index finger.
"Alright," he said, "That's alright."
That night in bed, Remus silently thanked god for giving this life to him. His curses were many, yes, but he had never felt so complete before. Never so grateful for what the world had given him! He rolled over and smiled, brushing a thick, ebony lock off the face of his companion. "I think I love you," he whispered, watching Sirius's closed eyes as he slept peacefully, "I think I always have..."
Remus's eyes drifted slowly closed, and finally he fell asleep. "I love you too," Sirius whispered, smiling as he pulled Remus's silent body closer to his own.
The next morning Remus woke up alone in his dormitory. It was Saturday, and there were no classes, so he felt free to roll on over and go back to sleep. He yawned and stretched out, grasping his second pillow and holding it as if it were another body next to his own.
"Err..." he muttered, as his eyes shot open. Sirius wasn't with him. He sat up in his bed, staring blankly around the room. He'd left! Remus smiled and threw his legs over the side of the bed, pulling on his house slippers as he ran out of the dormitory. He followed the small staircase down into the Gryffindor common room, and calmly walked in to join a dozen or so of his fellow housemates. "Good morning," he said, smiling up at a group of first years that waved cheerily at him.
Sirius, though, was not there. Remus frowned slowly, scanning the room a second time to make sure he hadn't missed him. When sure Sirius wasn't around, Remus made his way back up into the common room and got dressed.
"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked when he met up with James and Lily down in the great hall.
"I don't know," James said, taking a bite of toast with jelly on it.
"Neither do I," Lily said, "But now that I think of it, I haven't seen him around this morning," she added, smiling and leaning her elbows against the table.
"Well, he wasn't in my- the dormitory when I woke up this morning, and he wasn't in the common room... do you have any idea where he could be?"
"Nope."
"Not a clue."
"Oh well," Remus said, sighing miserably, "I guess he'll show up later.
But he didn't.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aye! The first chapter of my first fiction. I should have the next out in a few days, so wait up for it, ne? Reply! I love replies, I never used to get replies, and I probably never will, but there's a cookie in it for anyone who does!!
And, now the moment you've ALL been waiting for, (I know I have), HOTDOGS!!!! **hands out hotdogs** YEAH! HOTDOGS! .... Err.... _... yeah.... H-..hotdogs.... never mind. _
References
1. http://www.sipahigil.com/josh/ubb