Cards
Doncha just love cards? (I don't)
The disclaimer which was too late: I don't own Final Fantasy 8, squaresoft, and what have you. Given the quality of the games (and that movie) which squaresoft has been turning out recently, I'm quite relieved by that.
Take a look at LoTR's people! That's what a final fantasy game (or movie) should be like! Elves, dragons, nutty wizards with long staffs, bad (and corny) in-jokes! Not J-pop idol wannabes!
Also, I do not own LoTR's.
Thanks guys. For all those people out there who despise fanfiction, who have never heard of fanfiction.net, and especially those people who like the discworld series, this is for you.
When last we left our anti-heroes, Seifer was screaming in rage because he needed five cards to play Triple Triad. Cid had just told the Disciplinary Committe to fine all those who held TT cards, and had also just heard Seifer screaming.
Now read on...
*****************************************************************************
Cid genially tugged his waistcoat and took a deep breath. He always enjoyed these moments when he stood before the Garden intercom, readying himself to deliver yet another stunning oritorical opus to his appreciating audience. It was almost gratifying to hear the stunned silence which followed his announcements. It had been somewhat marred by that howling, but Cid never let concern like that eat at his mood. After all, in a school of mercernaries, if he cried for the dead, he would never stop long enough to get any paper work done.
"Attention Garden. As you know, it is speak Engrish week. We must all speak good Engrish. You should..." Cid squinted at his speech notes.
"You should all ... e ... mu ... rate me," Cid faltered. Which idiot had included one of those hard to pronouce in his speech? He quickly cleared his throat.
"Orso, one announcement. Triper Triad is banned in this institue. Because the Garden does not condo... condom... err... condone! Does not condone gambling, all card games are banned! That is all."
Cid turned away from his microphone and settled into his overstuffed armchair. Soon, he was snoring.
Because he had neglected to disconnect the intercom, every single student was treated to a further 15 minutes of snoring reverbrating throught their Garden until Cid's secretary crept in to turn off the offending mechanism.
*****************************************************************************
"Seifer..... man, buddy, you just can't go howling like some wild animal inside school grounds man! Ya know? It breaks the concentration of those students, like, around you, ya know? And it makes the people around you uncomfortable, ya know?"
"Mmmf."
"KEEP QUIET?"
"Mmmf."
"So if I take my hand out of your mouth you won't scream, ya know, because it really hurts my ears, ya know?"
"Mmmf."
Rai Jin gingerly removed his hand from Seifer's mouth and winced. Seifer had left two perfect rows of tooth-marks on his hand. It didn't look like he would be able to lift a pen anytime soon.
"So, Rai Jin, my little left hand man, since Fu jin has kindly told me that I will need five cards to play this irritating little card game, and it would help if I collected a nice variety of cards, why don't you enlighten me on the other nice cards to collect?"
"Well, they say that there are good cards on the Centra plains, ya know?"
Fu jin shook her head.
"ISLE OF HELL."
Seifer grinned. Rai jin subsided into an incoherent babble of "ya know?"-ing again.
*****************************************************************************
Cid stared at the form on his desk.
"It says here that you wish to be excused to visit your parents."
"Yes sir."
"But as far as I can tear, Seifer, you were raised in an orphanage under my wife's care."
"Yes sir."
"And how would you care to exprain this?"
"My parents were bounty hunters who lived on the Island closest to Hell sir. They decided I needed a more erm..... conducive environment as a child. So they abandoned me on your door-step, sir."
Cid's face crumpled in thought. Then he reached under his desk and extracted a pocket dictionery. After flipping through a few pages, his eyes brightened and he quickly hid the dictionary. Then his face crumpled again.
"And Rai Jin and Fu Jin are your sibrings?"
"Yes sir."
"Ya know?"
"AFFIRMATIVE."
Cid's face brightened.
"Awr-righty then!"
*****************************************************************************
"I don't believe this."
"Better believe it pal."
"We can't go to sea on a jalopy like this, ya know!"
"And why not, pray tell?"
"Because Mr. Amalsy sez so, ya know?"
Seifer sighed and shook his head. He grabbed the garden's motor pool administrator in one hand and hoisted him up.
"Look sir, I just need to borrow a ship to go to the Island closest to Hell, alright? I already have the paper-work cleared with Cid and everything. Be reasonable and ... what?"
The motor pool attendent croaked.
"I can't hear you."
He croaked again. Seifer, with a look of frustration, hauled him further up and held festering mouth to ear. He listened closely, nodding and grunting sympathetically. Suddenly, he recoiled in shock.
"Sword? What swo... oh! The Hyperion!"
The motor pool attendent nodded, staring cross-eyed at the (as pointed out before) obscenely large blade which Seifer was happily twirling on his pinky. He croaked again.
"Well, you know, I just do this erm... sub-conciously, like, when I'm happy... or sad... or frustrated... or irritated... or when I feel like chopping someone's head off and feeding it to the carrion birds while laughing like a maniac... you know, little things like that.
*****************************************************************************
"UNBELIEVABLE."
"What's there to believe?"
"Stunning, ya know?"
"UNBELIEVABLE."
"Well, I don't bother to believe in anything in paticular. When I get a chance, I just grab it in both hands and shake it while laughing. I don't need some deity to direct my path."
"ZEN?"
"Ya, something like that. Only more rebellious."
They sailed into to the west with a blood red sun on their backs. Except that Fu jin looked a pretty shade of purple. And Rai jin ended being an eyesore, with his back being stained an awful puce colour by the sunlight. Ah well, nothings perfect.
Doncha just love cards? (I don't)
The disclaimer which was too late: I don't own Final Fantasy 8, squaresoft, and what have you. Given the quality of the games (and that movie) which squaresoft has been turning out recently, I'm quite relieved by that.
Take a look at LoTR's people! That's what a final fantasy game (or movie) should be like! Elves, dragons, nutty wizards with long staffs, bad (and corny) in-jokes! Not J-pop idol wannabes!
Also, I do not own LoTR's.
Thanks guys. For all those people out there who despise fanfiction, who have never heard of fanfiction.net, and especially those people who like the discworld series, this is for you.
When last we left our anti-heroes, Seifer was screaming in rage because he needed five cards to play Triple Triad. Cid had just told the Disciplinary Committe to fine all those who held TT cards, and had also just heard Seifer screaming.
Now read on...
*****************************************************************************
Cid genially tugged his waistcoat and took a deep breath. He always enjoyed these moments when he stood before the Garden intercom, readying himself to deliver yet another stunning oritorical opus to his appreciating audience. It was almost gratifying to hear the stunned silence which followed his announcements. It had been somewhat marred by that howling, but Cid never let concern like that eat at his mood. After all, in a school of mercernaries, if he cried for the dead, he would never stop long enough to get any paper work done.
"Attention Garden. As you know, it is speak Engrish week. We must all speak good Engrish. You should..." Cid squinted at his speech notes.
"You should all ... e ... mu ... rate me," Cid faltered. Which idiot had included one of those hard to pronouce in his speech? He quickly cleared his throat.
"Orso, one announcement. Triper Triad is banned in this institue. Because the Garden does not condo... condom... err... condone! Does not condone gambling, all card games are banned! That is all."
Cid turned away from his microphone and settled into his overstuffed armchair. Soon, he was snoring.
Because he had neglected to disconnect the intercom, every single student was treated to a further 15 minutes of snoring reverbrating throught their Garden until Cid's secretary crept in to turn off the offending mechanism.
*****************************************************************************
"Seifer..... man, buddy, you just can't go howling like some wild animal inside school grounds man! Ya know? It breaks the concentration of those students, like, around you, ya know? And it makes the people around you uncomfortable, ya know?"
"Mmmf."
"KEEP QUIET?"
"Mmmf."
"So if I take my hand out of your mouth you won't scream, ya know, because it really hurts my ears, ya know?"
"Mmmf."
Rai Jin gingerly removed his hand from Seifer's mouth and winced. Seifer had left two perfect rows of tooth-marks on his hand. It didn't look like he would be able to lift a pen anytime soon.
"So, Rai Jin, my little left hand man, since Fu jin has kindly told me that I will need five cards to play this irritating little card game, and it would help if I collected a nice variety of cards, why don't you enlighten me on the other nice cards to collect?"
"Well, they say that there are good cards on the Centra plains, ya know?"
Fu jin shook her head.
"ISLE OF HELL."
Seifer grinned. Rai jin subsided into an incoherent babble of "ya know?"-ing again.
*****************************************************************************
Cid stared at the form on his desk.
"It says here that you wish to be excused to visit your parents."
"Yes sir."
"But as far as I can tear, Seifer, you were raised in an orphanage under my wife's care."
"Yes sir."
"And how would you care to exprain this?"
"My parents were bounty hunters who lived on the Island closest to Hell sir. They decided I needed a more erm..... conducive environment as a child. So they abandoned me on your door-step, sir."
Cid's face crumpled in thought. Then he reached under his desk and extracted a pocket dictionery. After flipping through a few pages, his eyes brightened and he quickly hid the dictionary. Then his face crumpled again.
"And Rai Jin and Fu Jin are your sibrings?"
"Yes sir."
"Ya know?"
"AFFIRMATIVE."
Cid's face brightened.
"Awr-righty then!"
*****************************************************************************
"I don't believe this."
"Better believe it pal."
"We can't go to sea on a jalopy like this, ya know!"
"And why not, pray tell?"
"Because Mr. Amalsy sez so, ya know?"
Seifer sighed and shook his head. He grabbed the garden's motor pool administrator in one hand and hoisted him up.
"Look sir, I just need to borrow a ship to go to the Island closest to Hell, alright? I already have the paper-work cleared with Cid and everything. Be reasonable and ... what?"
The motor pool attendent croaked.
"I can't hear you."
He croaked again. Seifer, with a look of frustration, hauled him further up and held festering mouth to ear. He listened closely, nodding and grunting sympathetically. Suddenly, he recoiled in shock.
"Sword? What swo... oh! The Hyperion!"
The motor pool attendent nodded, staring cross-eyed at the (as pointed out before) obscenely large blade which Seifer was happily twirling on his pinky. He croaked again.
"Well, you know, I just do this erm... sub-conciously, like, when I'm happy... or sad... or frustrated... or irritated... or when I feel like chopping someone's head off and feeding it to the carrion birds while laughing like a maniac... you know, little things like that.
*****************************************************************************
"UNBELIEVABLE."
"What's there to believe?"
"Stunning, ya know?"
"UNBELIEVABLE."
"Well, I don't bother to believe in anything in paticular. When I get a chance, I just grab it in both hands and shake it while laughing. I don't need some deity to direct my path."
"ZEN?"
"Ya, something like that. Only more rebellious."
They sailed into to the west with a blood red sun on their backs. Except that Fu jin looked a pretty shade of purple. And Rai jin ended being an eyesore, with his back being stained an awful puce colour by the sunlight. Ah well, nothings perfect.