Day Three: More Than A Game

With the Captain's approval Tom put together an impromptu get together at Sandrines. Most of the people invited took the opportunity to relax and have fun. Some played pool, some danced, and some just spent time relaxing with their friends. Spirits were high that evening, as was the noise level, but a definite hush fell over the room when the Captain entered on the arm of their new guest. As she walked in, Kathryn eyed the first booth which remained empty. It was where she and Chakotay always sat when they came to Sandrines. She walked past it and led Mark to the second one and sat down. Kathryn saw Sandrine began to approach. She jumped up to cut her off. The last thing she needed was Sandrine talking to Mark.

"I'll get us some drinks."

She arrived at the bar and ordered.

"Cheri, that is a fine looking man. I have never seen him here before. Who is he?"

"An old friend."

"Ah, yes, an old friend. I bet he is no friend of the Commander, oui?"

Kathryn took their drinks and returned to her seat.

"This is very cozy Kath."

"Mr. Paris designed it. Apparently there is a real Sandrines in Marseilles.

"It seems like a nice place to spend your off duty hours."

She sipped her wine. "I don't come here much."

He seemed surprised. "Why not?"

She waved her delicate hand around pointing to the crowd. "I like to give them, the crew, their space. They can't really relax when their Captain is among them."

He looked at the couple cuddling in the corner, and the other dancing intimately on the dance. "They look pretty relaxed to me."

She followed his gaze and laughed. "Some are less intimated by my presence than others. Anyway tonight is different. Tom only invited a few people. He wanted you and I to have some peace."

Mark pointed to Tom who was playing pool. "He looks vaguely familiar to me. Should I know him?"

Kathryn smiled as she watched Tom beat another unsuspecting person. "He is Owen Paris' son."

"Of course. I see it now. I forgot that he signed on as an observer."

"That was a long time ago." She thought of all the changes in Tom since she took him out of that prison. She was proud of the man that he had become.

"Yes, it was." Mark thought of how happy they had been then and wonder if they ever would be again.

Abruptly he stood up and extended his hand. "Let's dance."

"Oh Mark, I don't know."

He gave her a sheepish grin. The one she used to not be able to resist. "I promise to behave. Besides, as you said, there's only a few people here."

They took the floor as the music slowed. He held her securely but at an acceptable distance. "Okay?", he asked.

"Okay." She relaxed a little knowing that he would not do anything to embarrass her. He said something funny and she threw her head back and laughed.

At that precise moment a new game of pool was beginning. The cue ball hit the rack of balls so hard the sound reverberated throughout the bar.

Kathryn heard it and looked in the direction of the table. She caught his eye when she did and quickly looked away.

Tom couldn't contain his smirk. "I guess you have solids, Chakotay."

Chakotay continued to pummel ball after ball. It amazed Tom that he could play so well while one eye remained glued to the dance floor. The music and the game ended at the same time. Kathryn and Mark ambled over to the pool table.

"Captain, it is nice to see you tonight. Care to play?"

"Tom, you know the rules. The Captain is only allowed to play the final game of the night. Otherwise she ruins the competition. Isn't there anyone else who wants to challenge me?" The word challenge was directed at Mark.

"I'd love to play, Commander." He took the cue from Tom's hand. "But I should warn you, I've been playing this particular game all my life and I plan on winning in the end."

"It doesn't matter if I am newer to the game, it only matters that I am better. You may have the break"

"How about a kiss for luck, Kath?" He bent down and kissed her swiftly. He knew she would be angry, but he couldn't resist.

Tom, Harry and B'Elanna were leaning against the far end bar watching the drama as it unfolded.

"I wonder who will win this pissing contest?"

"Pissing contest?"

Tom continued. "Sorry Harry, it's an old earth term. It is used to describe a test of sorts between two men who are trying to out do each other. It was usually done in an attempt to prove their masculinity."

"My rations are on Chakotay."

"I agree, B'Elanna. Tom?"

"Darn it. I'd love to pick up some rations but I have to agree. I can't bet against a love sick warrior."

Mark broke and immediately sank a striped ball. He missed his next shot and Chakotay took over. Chakotay's blood was boiling. He struck the cue forcefully sending it craning off the side cushion. Not a single ball was touched. Mark walked around and surveyed the table. He leaned down and tapped the white ball, which in turn slowly rolled and grazed the striped ball near the far corner. With a thud the stripped one fell into the hole.

"You see Commander, pool is a game of touch. There is a difference between thinking you have the touch and actually having it. Many people delude themselves into believing they have things that they never did." By the time he missed again, Mark needed just one more ball to win the game.

Chakotay took a deep breath and approached the table. With eerie concentration he began to sink one ball after another.

"Excellent form Commander but then again you probably had plenty of time to practice being second in command and all."

Tom had to chuckle. This guy was good. He was getting under Chakotay skin almost as good as Tom used to in the early days of their voyage.

Chakotay continued to run the table. He sank the eight ball before he spoke. "I don't know if it is the time I had to practice or the teacher. You know all those late nights alone at the pool table." Chakotay walked over and returned the stick to the rack on the wall. "It is easy to learn the right form when a beautiful woman wraps her arms around you and holds you stroke after stroke."

Even Harry had caught on. He muttered, "That one had to hurt!"

B'Elanna growled. "I'd still rather break his nose."

"Apparently you learn well, Commander. Let's just hope that's true in all cases. Speaking of beautiful women, I'll see if Kathryn is ready to leave." Mark turned, when he didn't see her immediately he started to head toward the booths on the far wall.

Chakotay called out to stop him. "Mark." His nemesis turned and faced him. "She left fifteen minutes ago." Mark looked around the bar and when he didn't find her he left quickly.

Tom leaned over to Harry. "Game, set and match to Chakotay."

Kathryn was laying on her couch when a familiar voice beckoned her.

"What's the matter Kathy? Life's not all that it's cracked up to be?"

She didn't even raise the arm that was covering her eyes. "Go away, Q!"

"Why so angry? I would have thought you'd be…" he waved his hands in the air, "what's the word…" he snapped his fingers and smiled "rejuvenated by now." He frowned. "No, not rejuvenated, fulfilled! No, not fulfilled, satisfied!"

Very slowly Kathryn Janeway lowered her arm. She then very deliberately sat up. She stared at him as only she could, and began to walk very slowly towards him. "I am NOT rejuvenated, I am NOT fulfilled, and I am NOT satisfied." She was now barely a centimeter away from him and she began poking him the chest. "The only thing that might satisfy me now is YOUR HEAD ON A PLATTER!" She had effectively forced him against the wall where she remained intimately close.

He wrapped his arms around her. "My darling Kathy, I would be more than happy to ease your tension and satisfy you!"

She spun on her heels and paced around the room. "You disgust me Q!"

"You know what they say, a thin line between…

She turned and glared at him again. "Don't go there!"

"Fine, fine but sit down your making me dizzy." Once they were both settled at a safe distance from each other, Q continued. "There is another old saying, be careful what you wish for. You were agonizing over the fiancé you left behind, wishing you could see him again. Now, here is it. What's the problem?"

"He doesn't belong here, Q."

"Of course he does. He belongs her with you!"

"I didn't say he doesn't belong with me. I said he doesn't belong here, on this ship. He doesn't understand."

"Of course he doesn't understand, he is not an explorer. He is one of those guys who spends his life thinking, not doing. So he doesn't understand how a starship works. Big deal."

Kathryn put her head in her hands. She was so damned tired. Maybe she should tell Q how she felt. Hell, he probably already knew what she was thinking. It might feel good to finally talk to someone. "It's not that he doesn't understand the ship," her voice got infinitely softer, "he doesn't understand me."

Q sat back in the chair. "Ah, I see."

She looked up. "Do you?"

"I do. You want things to be the way they were between you. You want to be blissfully happy in your ignorance."

She looked at him sharply. "NO! That's not it."

"Isn't it? You lived with the man, yet you didn't. You lived separate lives. You did your Starfleet thing and he did his, whatever it is he does thing, and when you were together it was good. Not deep, but good. There was no in depth commitment, no rendering of the souls but then again there was no fear, no risk. You want it to be like that again."

She shook her head as a tear fell and hit her hand.

"You don't want it to be like that?"

"Yes."

"You do want it to be like that."

"No."

"Come on Kathy make up your mind!"

She looked up at him with her swollen red eyes. "No, I don't want it to be like that."

Q moved over and sat beside her. As out of character as it was for him, he felt sorry for her. He actually liked her. She was one of the few humans he felt that way about. In fact, he almost considered her a friend, but still, sometimes she could be so stubborn. "You don't want it to be like that again because you have found out there is more. There is a completeness that comes with commitment. There is a nourishment that comes when you surrender your soul. There is a heady thrill when there is fear. You have discovered all those things and now you cannot go back. Isn't that right Kathy?"

Before she could answer the chime rang. Q leaned back on the couch. "Which one will it be?" He flipped his hands back and forth weighing his decision. He leaned over to her ear and whispered, "Let's make a bet. If it is Chuckles you concede that I am right."

She regained her composure and called out to find out who it was at the door.

"Chakotay."

Q gave her that I told you so look.

The door was locked and required a manual override to open. She walked over to the door and placed her head against it. "Chakotay. I was just going to bed. Can we talk tomorrow?"

He heard the exhaustion in her voice. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You left Sandrines rather abruptly."

The tears fell silently as she heard the concern in his voice. Half of her wanted to open the door and pull him in and the other half hated herself for feeling that way. "I'm fine. I'll see in the morning." She turned to leave when she heard him speak again.

"Kathryn, I cannot make breakfast tomorrow."

She smiled. It was just like him to ease her burden. "That's fine. I'll see you on the bridge." She stood there and listened as she heard him open his door and enter his quarters. She opened her eyes and walked past Q to her bedroom.

"I believe you owe me a concession speech."

"Q, your omnipotent, you knew who it was before he even rang the chime!"

"Captain."

His use of her title stopped her cold.

"It's time to decide what you really want."