Chapter 2: The Truth About Turn-based Battles
"I'M AN AQUARIUS!" shouted Curtis from afar.
"SHUT UP!" Mary retorted and glared at the wanna-be healer.
As Ramza's turn began, he pulled out a small list and looked over it for a while. Soon, he placed his chin in his hand and sat down where he was. Then he remembered he had to keep walking in place (as annoying as it was). He thought too himself and discussed each item on the list while everyone was getting quite bored.
"Now should I move first, or should I attack? But wait, there is no one to attack, so I shall move. But what if I come in range of a chocobo? Hmmmm," he pondered to himself. He then noticed the looks that could kill being sent his way, so he quickly moved away from his group.
"Now that I have moved, what should I do? Should I pass my turn and get no XP? Or should I do guts?" he asked himself. Mary yelled at him while still walking in place.
"CAN I GO YET?!"
"No!! It's not your turn! You have to wait!" Ramza replied, as he looked back over the list. "Ah yes, I shall throw a stone! That way I get XP and I do damage! But it will be so little… who cares?" He picked up a small stone and chucked it at the closest chocobo, only dealing seven points of damage.
Mary quickly put away her book (which she began reading and is on page 200 since Ramza took so long) and took out an option list of her own. Luckily for us, she chose quicker and moved 3 spots away from Ramza. She smiled a flashy smile at him (more of an "I'm-better-than-you" smile) and gave him a peace sign as they still walked in place.
Soon the chocobos made their moves and one pecked Ramza for 15 damage. Unfortunately for him, it was in the nads and actually did 25 damage… let's just say "owwwww" for our poor Rmaza here (also he was being a prick so the author can punish her little puppets D). It wasn't long before the two females burst into laughter and Brett and Ravel shuddered in fear. Ramza was kneeling on the ground still moaning in pain.
"Ahhhhhhh!!! Noooooo!!! THE PAIN!!!" he screamed and counter attacked the chocobo dealing 8 damage. The chocobo backed up a space and glared at Ramza from afar.
Author's Musical Interlude =)
Hello all!! =) Since this is my story I get to walk in and let you know a bit more about it before I continue… and by the time I'm done, Ramza won't be the new Bob Dole! (Inside joke hehe) anyway.. This story is based on what really DOES happen in the game and how much Turn Based Battles… well… SUCK! As I continue briefing you in on why I wrote or am writing this, our poor lil Ramza will get his, ahem, problem fixed. As you can see the doctors are fixing him now! Without restoring his HP of course.
As I was saying, Turn Based Battles (also known as TBB for now) really suck. I mean if you were fighting a battle, you wouldn't wait till a little dagger over your head said you can move in the blue regions that it says you can go. You'd just run up and beat the guy's ass! Thus proving how much TBB sucks. Hopefully this fic can point this out to you in a more humorous way, so that you can laugh and see my point. OK Ramza is cured so we can go back to the fic… ENJOY!
Chapter 2: The Truth About TBB Part 2
"Quick! Quick! Move him in before she finds out we're late!" yelled the head doctor as they rolled out Ramza still moaning in pain on one of those rolling bed thingies… yea.. Anyway, he was placed in the spot that he was in earlier as the author glared at the late doctors. They quickly ran out of the scene and got back to the hospital.
Now it was Brett's turn to go. He walked forward and too the right, far from Mary, but closer to another chocobo. He smiled to himself and boldly pick up a… rock…? Right… He soon chucked it at the chocobo dealing it 8 points of damage. Soon a light blue aura came over him as he gained a job level. He jumped for joy, screaming like a little girl for a bit, but soon stopped when he realized the glares that were being shot at him.
Soon it was Ravel's turn. Good ol' Ravel who had just… wet his pants? Wait a second. Ravel was trembling in fear shooting glances at the dagger hanging above his head, bobbing up and down, every few seconds. Streams of tears were running down his face and a small whimper could be heard from him every now and then. Mary looked at him in disgust as he shivered under the small knife.
Saki did her thing and cured Ramza as soon as she got close enough and he was happy once again (or so he thinks D). Soon it was Ramza's turn again… god forbid. Luckily, I informed the doctors to take away his list so that we wouldn't have to go through that whole thing again. Ramza looked in his pocket for about five minutes and began to sweat.
"Ah! Where is it?! I remember putting it in here, but but, IT'S GONE NOW!" shrieked Ramza like a girl. He began to pout and dump out everything out of his pockets (I'm not going to list all of the items because it goes from a range of a rubber ducky to a giant mallet. Also he has some.. um… personal items in there). "WHERE'S MY LIST?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!!" cried Ramza falling to his knees with streams of tears flowing down his face. (btw: that was just a MDK2 inside joke, if you haven't played the game you wouldn't get it at all). Ramza held his face in his hands and cried uncontrollably like a little baby. Mary walked up to him and hit him with her sword since she was almost positive that he had gone insane. He stopped crying and glared at her under his bangs. She simply smiled back and walked back to her spot.
"It wasn't your turn yet ya know!" he yelled at her from his spot. She shrugged and smiled at him evilly and raised her sword to prove that she would do it again without any regrets if necessary. He gulped and looked back at the chocobo that was standing near him. Ramza quickly walked behind it and slashed it for a good 26 HP killing it dead. He happily jumped up and down as he gained a job level.
Saki teleported next to Mary and pulled out a small calculator from her pocket. Mary stared at her with a large sweat drop on the back of her head as Saki started calculating what enemies she could hit depending on their status. While calculating what attack she would do and how much damage she would do, a long white strip came out of the calculator filled with numbers and operations. Mary picked up the list and looked over the whole thing. Since she was only a summoner and Saki was a calculator, Mary had no idea what Saki was doing. Finally Saki came to a conclusion to her problem and smiled triumphantly.
"That comes to a total of," Saki paused and looked over the numbers again, "ah yes, $49.95! Oh wait a second, I was calculating my bill for dinner. Heh, sorry about that." Saki smiled weakly and went back to calculating how much damage she could do to the chosen enemies. Mary fell over and landed on her face because of Saki's sudden comment. Ravel and Brett lost their mouths as they stared at Saki stupidly. A large sweat drop formed on their heads and they looked like dumbfounded anime characters without mouths or noses (let me just butt in here for a sec… have I ever mentioned how CUTE they all look without noses? God I wish I had a plush doll of one of them. ::huggles her own plush doll of Ramza and Mustadio::). Ramza sighed and pulled out his own small deck of cards so that he could begin playing Solitaire while Saki was taking her time fiddling around with the damn calculator.
As Ramza was half way finished his game, a loud explsion was heard nearby, mainly coming from Saki and Mary's direction. He looked over and spoted a broken machine in her hand and her face was covered in black soot. A blank expression like this, O.o;;;; , was on her face as she stared at the broken object in her hand. The nearest chocobo looked at her stupidly. Mary was laughing to herself, and it wasn't long before she started laughing out loud. Saki glared at her evilly and tugged on the summoner's horn (just a small note, the summoners in FFIX have a horn.. maybe they borrowed the idea from this game…..? who knows) making Mary wince in pain. Mary glared at the calculator and wacked her with a cane. Soon an all out cat fight formed between the two girls as everyone's sweat drop just grew larger.
Ramza sighed and looked up at the sky. Sometimes he wished that these things didn't take this long, but little did he know that the worst was yet to come…
"I'M AN AQUARIUS!" shouted Curtis from afar.
"SHUT UP!" Mary retorted and glared at the wanna-be healer.
As Ramza's turn began, he pulled out a small list and looked over it for a while. Soon, he placed his chin in his hand and sat down where he was. Then he remembered he had to keep walking in place (as annoying as it was). He thought too himself and discussed each item on the list while everyone was getting quite bored.
"Now should I move first, or should I attack? But wait, there is no one to attack, so I shall move. But what if I come in range of a chocobo? Hmmmm," he pondered to himself. He then noticed the looks that could kill being sent his way, so he quickly moved away from his group.
"Now that I have moved, what should I do? Should I pass my turn and get no XP? Or should I do guts?" he asked himself. Mary yelled at him while still walking in place.
"CAN I GO YET?!"
"No!! It's not your turn! You have to wait!" Ramza replied, as he looked back over the list. "Ah yes, I shall throw a stone! That way I get XP and I do damage! But it will be so little… who cares?" He picked up a small stone and chucked it at the closest chocobo, only dealing seven points of damage.
Mary quickly put away her book (which she began reading and is on page 200 since Ramza took so long) and took out an option list of her own. Luckily for us, she chose quicker and moved 3 spots away from Ramza. She smiled a flashy smile at him (more of an "I'm-better-than-you" smile) and gave him a peace sign as they still walked in place.
Soon the chocobos made their moves and one pecked Ramza for 15 damage. Unfortunately for him, it was in the nads and actually did 25 damage… let's just say "owwwww" for our poor Rmaza here (also he was being a prick so the author can punish her little puppets D). It wasn't long before the two females burst into laughter and Brett and Ravel shuddered in fear. Ramza was kneeling on the ground still moaning in pain.
"Ahhhhhhh!!! Noooooo!!! THE PAIN!!!" he screamed and counter attacked the chocobo dealing 8 damage. The chocobo backed up a space and glared at Ramza from afar.
Author's Musical Interlude =)
Hello all!! =) Since this is my story I get to walk in and let you know a bit more about it before I continue… and by the time I'm done, Ramza won't be the new Bob Dole! (Inside joke hehe) anyway.. This story is based on what really DOES happen in the game and how much Turn Based Battles… well… SUCK! As I continue briefing you in on why I wrote or am writing this, our poor lil Ramza will get his, ahem, problem fixed. As you can see the doctors are fixing him now! Without restoring his HP of course.
As I was saying, Turn Based Battles (also known as TBB for now) really suck. I mean if you were fighting a battle, you wouldn't wait till a little dagger over your head said you can move in the blue regions that it says you can go. You'd just run up and beat the guy's ass! Thus proving how much TBB sucks. Hopefully this fic can point this out to you in a more humorous way, so that you can laugh and see my point. OK Ramza is cured so we can go back to the fic… ENJOY!
Chapter 2: The Truth About TBB Part 2
"Quick! Quick! Move him in before she finds out we're late!" yelled the head doctor as they rolled out Ramza still moaning in pain on one of those rolling bed thingies… yea.. Anyway, he was placed in the spot that he was in earlier as the author glared at the late doctors. They quickly ran out of the scene and got back to the hospital.
Now it was Brett's turn to go. He walked forward and too the right, far from Mary, but closer to another chocobo. He smiled to himself and boldly pick up a… rock…? Right… He soon chucked it at the chocobo dealing it 8 points of damage. Soon a light blue aura came over him as he gained a job level. He jumped for joy, screaming like a little girl for a bit, but soon stopped when he realized the glares that were being shot at him.
Soon it was Ravel's turn. Good ol' Ravel who had just… wet his pants? Wait a second. Ravel was trembling in fear shooting glances at the dagger hanging above his head, bobbing up and down, every few seconds. Streams of tears were running down his face and a small whimper could be heard from him every now and then. Mary looked at him in disgust as he shivered under the small knife.
Saki did her thing and cured Ramza as soon as she got close enough and he was happy once again (or so he thinks D). Soon it was Ramza's turn again… god forbid. Luckily, I informed the doctors to take away his list so that we wouldn't have to go through that whole thing again. Ramza looked in his pocket for about five minutes and began to sweat.
"Ah! Where is it?! I remember putting it in here, but but, IT'S GONE NOW!" shrieked Ramza like a girl. He began to pout and dump out everything out of his pockets (I'm not going to list all of the items because it goes from a range of a rubber ducky to a giant mallet. Also he has some.. um… personal items in there). "WHERE'S MY LIST?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!!" cried Ramza falling to his knees with streams of tears flowing down his face. (btw: that was just a MDK2 inside joke, if you haven't played the game you wouldn't get it at all). Ramza held his face in his hands and cried uncontrollably like a little baby. Mary walked up to him and hit him with her sword since she was almost positive that he had gone insane. He stopped crying and glared at her under his bangs. She simply smiled back and walked back to her spot.
"It wasn't your turn yet ya know!" he yelled at her from his spot. She shrugged and smiled at him evilly and raised her sword to prove that she would do it again without any regrets if necessary. He gulped and looked back at the chocobo that was standing near him. Ramza quickly walked behind it and slashed it for a good 26 HP killing it dead. He happily jumped up and down as he gained a job level.
Saki teleported next to Mary and pulled out a small calculator from her pocket. Mary stared at her with a large sweat drop on the back of her head as Saki started calculating what enemies she could hit depending on their status. While calculating what attack she would do and how much damage she would do, a long white strip came out of the calculator filled with numbers and operations. Mary picked up the list and looked over the whole thing. Since she was only a summoner and Saki was a calculator, Mary had no idea what Saki was doing. Finally Saki came to a conclusion to her problem and smiled triumphantly.
"That comes to a total of," Saki paused and looked over the numbers again, "ah yes, $49.95! Oh wait a second, I was calculating my bill for dinner. Heh, sorry about that." Saki smiled weakly and went back to calculating how much damage she could do to the chosen enemies. Mary fell over and landed on her face because of Saki's sudden comment. Ravel and Brett lost their mouths as they stared at Saki stupidly. A large sweat drop formed on their heads and they looked like dumbfounded anime characters without mouths or noses (let me just butt in here for a sec… have I ever mentioned how CUTE they all look without noses? God I wish I had a plush doll of one of them. ::huggles her own plush doll of Ramza and Mustadio::). Ramza sighed and pulled out his own small deck of cards so that he could begin playing Solitaire while Saki was taking her time fiddling around with the damn calculator.
As Ramza was half way finished his game, a loud explsion was heard nearby, mainly coming from Saki and Mary's direction. He looked over and spoted a broken machine in her hand and her face was covered in black soot. A blank expression like this, O.o;;;; , was on her face as she stared at the broken object in her hand. The nearest chocobo looked at her stupidly. Mary was laughing to herself, and it wasn't long before she started laughing out loud. Saki glared at her evilly and tugged on the summoner's horn (just a small note, the summoners in FFIX have a horn.. maybe they borrowed the idea from this game…..? who knows) making Mary wince in pain. Mary glared at the calculator and wacked her with a cane. Soon an all out cat fight formed between the two girls as everyone's sweat drop just grew larger.
Ramza sighed and looked up at the sky. Sometimes he wished that these things didn't take this long, but little did he know that the worst was yet to come…