The Matrix- Slayers Style! (Part 1)

1 by XelFan12





Random symbols start shifting and transforming, and they flash to reveal the words, "The Matrix". Goofy music begins to play as "Slayers Style!" flashes in interesting colors below it. A green cursor starts flashing in the upper-left of the screen. "Call transcript received" is suddenly typed, and numbers begin to be received.

A phone rings, and someone picks it up. "Yeah?"

"Is everything in place?"

"You mean did I trace his phone number?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I just found out that he doesn't have a phone."

"Oh. Well, that sucks. Give him yours then."

"I like my phone! I want him to give it back later!"

"Look, I'll buy you a new phone if we have time. Now hurry up, run over to his house, and put the phone on his desk while he's still asleep."

"Oh fine."

"Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Are you sure this line's clear?"

"Of course I'm sure. Wait…"

The scene gradually shifts in a cool transition to the beam of a flashlight.

Two police officers break open a door, and discover a girl in the room. They order her to surrender. The redhead slowly lifted her hands above her head.

***

Another police officer stands at the bottom of the building outside of his car, and two Rezo copies drive up in a car and get out. "Lieutenant," one of the Rezo copies said softly. "You had specific orders to stay away from here."

"Those orders were phony! We as police officers need to be at the scene of every crime in this city! And how did you guys drive here if you're both blind?"

"Hmmm…" muttered the other Rezo copy. "Don't really know. But anyway, those orders were for your protection."

"I think we can handle one little girl. I sent two units up. They should be coming down with her soon."

"No, lieutenant, your men are already dead," declared the first Rezo copy, jingling his staff.

***

The redheaded girl suddenly turns around and surprises the police. "Fireball!" she yelled, and the fireball that she'd been preparing surged toward the police. The camera does a 360 around the fireball, and the police are knocked unconscious by the blast. The girl suddenly receives a call on her cell phone.

"The line was traced, Xellos," said the redhead.

"Well then, I suppose you'll have to find an exit, Lina," replied Xellos casually.

"Where, Xellos? Where's the exit?"

"That is a secret!"

Lina fell over anime style, and picked up the phone again. "Xellos, if you don't tell me where to find an exit, you'll witness a Dragonslave when I get back!"

"Very well then, if you're that upset. It's the phone booth at Phibrizzo Lane."

Lina closes the cell phone, and starts to run across the rooftops as the police reinforcements and a Rezo copy appear behind her, and begin the chase. They run across the rooftops, and Lina levitates to clear a huge gap between two buildings. Only the Rezo copy is able to follow with his own levitation, and the police are left behind muttering that the jump was impossible.

Lina speeds up again, and jumps off the building, soars through the air, and crashes through a window in another building. She falls down a flight of stairs (that must hurt), and holds her hands ready to cast another spell. The Rezo copy didn't seem to be coming, so she runs out of the building.

She discovers that she had ended up at Phibrizzo Lane, and begins to run for the phone booth there. She also notices that a truck is about to crash into the phone booth.

"You idiot! How am I supposed to leave if you crash into the exit?!" Lina yells. "Fireball!" Another fireball blows up the truck, and Lina could distinctly see an injured guy flying off across the horizon from the impact. She picks up the phone, and disappears.

The Rezo copy finally saw where Lina had went, but discovers that she's gone. The other Rezo copy comes to the phone booth as well. "We already know the name of their next target," a Rezo copy points out.

"His name is Gourry. The search for him has already begun."

***

The scene shifts to Gourry, who is asleep with headphones over his ears. "Old MacDonald" is heard coming from the headphones.

Gourry wakes up, and looks at his computer screen, which is still on. "Wake up, Gourry…" is seen on the computer screen.

"I already woke up," mutters Gourry.

"Okay then," reads the computer screen. "Then we'll move on. The Matrix has you!"

"Huh?"

"Follow the white rabbit."

"What white rabbit?"

"Knock, knock, Gourry."

"Who's there?" replies Gourry, thinking it's one of those great knock- knock jokes.

Two knocks are heard at his door.

"Hey, that wasn't very funny!" complains Gourry. Grumbling, he goes to answer the door. He sees that it's the people that said they would come 2 hours ago. "You're pretty late, and was it you that sent me such a dumb knock-knock joke?"

"I don't know about any joke, but as for the late part, it's her fault," says one of the guys, pointing at a girl.

"No, it isn't! It's all your fault! I said, 'We're gonna be late! You can ride the merry-go-round again later,' but no! You wanted to-"

"Anyway, do you have it? The ticket?"

"I think so," answers Gourry. He pulls out a secret compartment in his desk, and hands it over.

"All right!" exclaims the guy. "Now I ride the merry-go-round all day for free! Here's the coupons. Free food at 12 all-you-can-eat restaurants for a month."

"Thanks!" says a really happy Gourry. "But if anyone finds out…"

"I know. You don't exist." The guy turns to the girl. "Think we should take him with us?"

"Definitely," she answers.

"I can't. I have work later," Gourry explained. "Wait, today's Saturday."

Gourry follows the people to the party that they lead him to. The girl was wearing white rabbit earrings, the guy was wearing a white rabbit shirt, and the other guys all had something with white rabbits on them. But Gourry didn't notice. He just wanted to go to the party.

***

Gourry looks around, bored. The party was pretty boring. There didn't seem to be much food anywhere.

Suddenly, a redheaded girl heads where Gourry is. "Do you know who I am?" she whispers into his ear as they begin a slow dance.

"Hey! You're the girl that broke into that place at that time! Hold on, I know who you are," says Gourry, snapping his fingers absentmindedly. "You're… Luna?"

"WHAT?! MY SISTER'S HERE??? WHERE?! WHERE?! I THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD! DIDN'T THOSE REZO COPIES FINALLY GET HER? I MEAN, THE REST OF US ESCAPED, BUT I THOUGHT THEY GOT HER!! WHERE IS SHE?!" screamed Lina, panicking. By now, everyone at the party had stopped dancing to look at them.

"I thought that was your name," said a confused Gourry.

"No… my name is Lina… yeah," answers Lina, calming down. She turned to the people staring at her. "You'd better quit looking at me, or I'll use a spell you won't forget!" yelled Lina. Everyone immediately returned to slow dancing.

"What were we talking about?" asked Gourry.

"My name. But now we'll talk about something else."

"Wait, hold on. This morning, I got this stupid knock-knock joke on the computer, and something about a white rabbit and a matrix. Do you know anything about that?"

"I don't know anything about a stupid knock-knock joke, but do you mean to tell me that you had no idea what your computer was saying about a white rabbit and the Matrix?"

"Hmmm… I guess so. I really didn't know what that was all about."

"Well then how did you know to come here?"

"Well, I just felt like coming to this party 'cause I was hoping there'd be lots of food here, but look, all they have is oatmeal cookies and mountain spring water."

Lina sweatdropped. On the one hand, she thought to herself, this guy seems like a complete idiot. But then again, when I told him to meet me here, I was kinda hoping for food too. Oh well.

Lina was suddenly serious. "They're watching you, Gourry."

"Who?" whispered Gourry, getting caught up in the mood.

"That I can't tell. I know what you've been doing, Gourry. Why you hardly sleep. Why night after night, you sit at your computer, looking for him. I know because once I was looking for the same thing. When I found him, he said that I wasn't really looking for him, I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us mad. You know the question."

"Who sent me that stupid knock-knock joke?"

"Yes. The answer is… Hold on a second. That's not the question! The question is: What is the Matrix?"

"Oh. What is the Matrix?"

"Yes. The answer is out there, Gourry, and it will… Oh, never mind. You just ruined the whole effect."

"Sorry."

***

Gourry woke up the next morning. Yesterday had been a pretty weird day. He normally would have been late for work by now, but today was Sunday. He went out to use his free food coupons.

***

Gourry woke up the next morning. Yesterday had been a pretty good day. He normally would have been late for work by now, but today was… Monday! He drove to work as fast as possible.

***

We find poor Gourry being yelled at by his boss in his office. "You believe that you are special. That rules don't apply to you."

"No I don't," protested Gourry. "Haven't you ever had a bad day? I mean, imagine if you were me. That you were late for work. You didn't mean to! It was all a mistake! Why?! Why?! Why?!"

"I'm so sorry!" sobs the boss. "You may go to your work station! How could I have been so heartless and cruel?"

Gourry heads for his place in the building, smiling. He'd only worked for 5 minutes before someone came by, delivered a package to him, and left.

Gourry eagerly opened the package, and found a cell phone. "All right, my own cell phone!" he said. The phone rang. Gourry pressed the talk button without a second thought. "Hello?"

"Hello, Gourry. Do you know who this is?" a casual voice asked.

"I think so. According to that Lina girl that I met at the party on Saturday, I've been searching for you all my life. And I don't remember how I got your name to search for you in the first place. Will you freak out if I guess the wrong name like she did?"

"I doubt it," answered the voice, sounding amused.

"Hmmm… Zelas?"

"ZELAS?! LORD BEASTMASTER?! WHERE?! WHERE?! I THOUGHT THOSE REZO COPIES FINALLY GOT HER! I MEAN, SHE CAN BEAT ONE OR TWO OF THEM EASILY, BUT THERE WERE A COUPLE DOZEN GAINING UP ON HER! WHERE IS SHE?!" asked the voice loudly and eagerly, completely forgetting about his cool.

"Hey! You said you wouldn't freak out. I thought that was your name," replied Gourry, holding the phone about 6 inches away from his head so he wasn't deafened. Luckily, coming through a cell phone, nobody in the other offices heard it.

"No… Xellos… that's my name," muttered Xellos, calming down. "I do believe they're there by now. They're going to head for you soon."

"Who?"

"That is a secret!" replies Xellos, and he hangs up the cell phone.

"Hmmm… okay then," said Gourry to himself. "Might as well stay here then."

***

Gourry was taken by the Rezo copies to an empty office as soon as they found him. There were currently 3 of them in the room. Two were standing guard, and another was sitting in the chair across from him. The Rezo copy in the chair put a binder on the desk. He opened it, and looked at Gourry.

"We've had our eye on you for a while now, Gourry," says the Rezo copy, standing up and jingling his staff.

"Why do you jingle your staff?" asked Gourry.

"It's fun, and besides that, it goes well with my theme song. Well, the original Rezo's theme song anyway. But that's not the point! It seems that you're living 4 lives, Gourry. In one, you are Mr. Steven J. Smith. A worker that is always late, and saves his career by driving his sentimental boss to tears from Monday to Friday every week. You forget to pay your taxes, you owe approximately 14 banks money, and you listen to Old MacDonald in your spare time. In the second, you are Gourry, a codename for disaster, we believe. You sell people free merry-go-round rides for food coupons. In the third, you are a slob. You have no table manners, you fight people for food, and you aren't even listening to what I'm saying. In the fourth, you're just some stupid guy. None of these lives has a future, but we don't really care. Also, I've heard that you've recently been in contact with someone named Xellos. He is considered by many to be the most dangerous mozaku alive, and hopefully you wish to do the right thing by breaking contact with him. We're willing to wipe the slate clean, forgive all four of your lives, and your chat with Xellos, if you just cooperate and return to obeying laws."

Gourry paused, trying to figure out what the Rezo copy said. "Wait, so if I just go along with whatever you're saying, you won't get me in trouble for being late every day, you'll pay all my taxes, you'll pay the banks, you won't tell anyone about free merry-go-round rides or food coupons, and you'll apologize for calling me a slob and a stupid guy? And what's wrong with Old MacDonald? And who's Xellos again?"

Now the Rezo copy paused, ignoring the comments about slobs, stupid guys, Xellos, and Old MacDonald. That's right, he thought. If he does agree to the deal, I'll have to pay all his taxes and expenses. It's not worth it. Besides, it's not like he's giving me anything in return. "It is a good deal, but I have a better one. How about, I give you my autograph-" He took a piece of paper out of the binder, and scribbled his name on it. "-and you give me my phone call."

"Well, okay. I always wanted to start an autograph collection." Gourry replied. "Here's my phone." He handed it over.

The Rezo copy handed over the autograph, and put Gourry's cell phone in his pocket.

"You said you were only going to make a phone call! I want my cell phone back! Either that, or their autographs!" protested Gourry, gesturing at the other two Rezo copies."

The copy jingled his staff again. "I always wanted a cell phone, and as for the autographs, what good are they to you… if you can't see?"

Gourry felt his eyelids close up, and he couldn't open them again. The Rezo copies had been blind all their life, so they were used to it, while Gourry stumbled around, bumping into things. The two Rezo copies that were standing guard held him still, and the third dropped a bug into his hair…

***

Gourry woke up in his bed suddenly, and seems unharmed. He could see again, so he wasn't bothered much by what just happened, but he was still angry. "I can't believe that guy took my cell phone, and besides that, he took back his autograph too!"

The phone on his desk began to ring. "Hey! I got another phone!" exclaimed Gourry, and he happily picked up the phone. The phone had been there since Saturday, but he just hadn't noticed it.

Xellos was the one that called him. "I sense that the line is tapped. Those Rezo copies got to you first, but they really don't realize how important you are! You would probably have been killed by now if they'd realized…"

"What do you mean?"

"Yare, yare. That you're the One, of course! They may have spent the last few years looking for you, but I've spent my entire life trying to find you. Well, since you were born, anyway. Do you want to meet me?"

"No! You're the guy that hung up on me, and let me be captured by these people that all look alike. And they stole my cell phone!"

"Good! Then go to the Valgaav's Street Bridge."

***

Gourry stood below the Valgaav's Street Bridge in the rain. "So I was curious," he muttered.

A car pulls up, and someone tells him to get in. Guns are pointed to his head as the car begins to move.

Gourry stared. "What's this for? Are you the people that I owe money to?! I'm sorry! I'll pay you back later!"

Lina, who happened to be sitting next to him, blinked. "Um… no, you don't owe us money."

Gourry relaxed. "Okay then. What do you want me to do?"

"Take your shirt off."

"Why?"

"Stop the car."

The driver immediately screeched the car to a stop, but also managed to run the car into a stop sign, producing a huge dent in the front before she did so.

"Not again, Martina!" Lina glared at the driver.

"Oh, shut up, Lina! I'm trying my best!" replied a hurt Martina.

"Good thing we have car insurance," muttered Lina. "But soon that insurance company will go bankrupt if we don't get a new driver."

"What did you say?!" asked Martina, turning to face Lina.

"Nothing, nothing," replied Lina. She turns to face Gourry. "It's our way or the highway."

"Fine, I'll do it. But why do you want me to?"

"We have to get the bug out."

"Hmmm… While those people that looked alike made me blind, I felt they dropped something in my hair." Gourry said thoughtfully. He reached into his hair, felt around, and pulled out the bug. "Is this it?"

Lina paused, surprised. After a moment, she regained her composure and threw the bug out the window. The bug lost its energy on the street.

"Why was the bug in your hair?!" demanded Lina.

"Why, was it supposed to be somewhere else?" asked Gourry, puzzled.

"Never mind. Hey Martina, go call someone to fix this car. While you do that, I'll levitate and fly Gourry to Xellos. We'll never get there at this rate."

"OH, why do I always have to do everything?" whined Martina, but Lina and Gourry were already gone.

***

Lina enters the building with Gourry a little while later, and saved the trouble of climbing a bunch of stairs by levitating both of them up again. "Gosh you're heavy, Gourry! Do you have to wear armor all the time?"

Gourry didn't reply. He was too busy hanging on to Lina's foot so he didn't fall to his death.

They found the right floor, and the right room. "One piece of advice," said Lina. "Be honest. He knows more that you can imagine. Not that that's… saying very much."

The door opened, and Gourry stepped inside. He saw two armchairs and a table with a glass of water on it. In one armchair sat a being that could only be Xellos.

"Glad you could come!" said Xellos cheerfully, as Gourry walked over and sat in the other chair. "I imagine you feel like Alice now, tumbling down the rabbit hole."

Gourry hesitated. "Who's Alice?"

"That is a secret! You have the look of a man that doesn't understand what's going on. Tell me. Do you believe in fate?" inquired Xellos, leaning slightly forward.

"Yup."

"And why is that?"

"I guess I don't like the idea that all the money that I owe is my fault."

"Very well then," responded Xellos, leaning back again. "You feel that there's something wrong, or missing from the world, don't you? And that's what brought you here. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

"The Matrix! No, wait, Lina? Hold on… hold on… the War of the Gods and Monsters? No, I've got it! 73!"

Xellos sweatdropped. "Actually, your first answer was right. Now do you want to know exactly what the Matrix is?"

Gourry nods.

"That is a secret!" Xellos and Gourry say in unison.

"Jinx!" Gourry yelled triumphantly.

Xellos sweatdropped again. So perhaps I've said that phrase so often, that even Gourry knows when to use it. Maybe I should use it less often. "The Matrix is-"

"You can't say anything again until I say your name, Xellos!" Gourry grinned, then frowned. "Darn."

Now Xellos grinned, and continued his lecture. "The Matrix is everywhere. It's in that corner over there, in your hair, on the computer, and out any window. It's a feeling as well, and you experience it wherever you go. But it's all fake!"

"What's fake?"

"The Matrix."

"What about the Matrix?"

"The Matrix is fake."

"But then how is it all around us?"

"Moving on," said Xellos loudly, ignoring Gourry. "No one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself." Xellos held out a lima bean. "You eat this lima bean, and I'll show you how the Matrix is fake, AND all around us."

"I don't get a choice? What a rip-off!"

"You eat this lima bean, and you'll discover that a delicious 9- course meal is crammed inside it."

"All right!" Gourry ate the lima bean. "Am I supposed to do anything with glass of water?" he asked, gesturing to the glass of water on the table.

"No, that's my water," said Xellos.

"There's no 9-course meal in here!" complained Gourry, swallowing the lima bean.

"So I lied," grinned Xellos.

"What was the point of eating this lima bean?"

"Well, it's been in the back of my refrigerator for years. I had to get rid of it somehow. Now come on. Follow me." Xellos led him to another room. Some other people were there too working on stuff.

"Martina, are we online?" Xellos asked.

It was at that point that Martina rushed into the room. "Sorry, I had some car trouble. I'll get started now."

Xellos and Gourry stood there, and the other people in the room worked with whatever gadgets they were handling while Martina tried to get online. "Oh come on! My password's expired?" said Martina, exasperated.

"Do hurry up, Martina," Xellos muttered.

***

20 minutes later, Martina finally got online, and Xellos told Gourry to sit in the chair in the middle of the room. Some gadgets were put into Gourry's ear and on top of his neck. Gourry noticed a mirror next to him, and reached out to touch it. The mirror substance began to cover his body.

"Have a you ever experienced a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you never woke up? Then how could you tell difference between real and unreal?" asked Xellos, who in a philosophical mood.

"No, I never had a dream like that." Gourry managed to say, before the mirror substance went over his mouth.

"Amelia, take him in now!" Xellos ordered.

One of the other people activated a switch as Gourry was completely engulfed by the material.

***

Gourry wakes up and feels… incomplete. He feels that he is split in half, somehow, and seeing things in two different places, but nothing is very clear. He could make out machines somehow fusing life forms together.

He could feel that he was coming together now, his two selves. Mechanical arms melded him together. He had become a chimera.

Another machine came to retrieve him. He was brought through many tunnels and passages before he passed out.

***

"Welcome to the real world," a voice whispered.

"We've done it," said another voice.

"We've found him," declared a third.

A healing spell was cast on Gourry. Soon after, someone levitated, and carried him over to his bed.

***

Gourry woke up some time later. He felt stronger than usual, for some reason, and felt something strange on his arm, as well. "Well, that was weird," commented Gourry. He felt comething mechanical on his arm. "This thing probably got here when I was in that place seeing two different things."

The door to his room opened, and Xellos stepped in. "Did you have any fun being fused?"

"Not really. What happened?"

"More than what, it's when."

"When?"

"That is a secret!" Xellos declared. There, I only said it half of the time. "Well, now, follow me then!" And Xellos led Gourry through some more rooms, ending up at a ladder. Xellos decided he wouldn't bother to use it, so he put one hand on Gourry, and teleported them both up. Gourry, of course, was still confused.