An Uncanny Relationship


By: Laura Ulian



Disclaimer: No, no, I don't own the Final Fantasy IX characters. It ALL belongs to Square, the greedy pigs (j/k!)


Um...hello! I REALLY edited these first four chapters...REALLY well. So c'mon, read 'em again! They're kind of funnier...considering I had the sense of humor of a coffee bean two years ago. Weeee!


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The water was laughing at him.


Actually, no, it wasn't. Lani was, in fact, acting as if the world's greatest punch line had been revealed. The source of her uncharacteristic behaviour? Amarant's notice of invitation, clutched and half-ripped in her clenched fist. Many giggling fits, tears of amusement and well-placed bursts of 'whoo's and 'oh man's, there was finally enough of a silent lapse for the bounty hunter to speak.


"Thank you for finding that funny,"growled Amarant.


"I-I'm-."the bounty huntress began, straightening herself so that she could look at him again. "I'm...I'm sorry,"she apologized, nearly bursting into another fit of giggles. "But-that, that coming from you, it's not right! It'so...so-"


"Funny,"he concluded.


"Right!"piped Lani, stifling her urge to laugh again by clearing her throat.. "I mean...you're really not going to go, right? Seriously!"


"How trying," muttered Amarant, standing on his feet. "I'm leaving Treno. You got a problem with that, you can deal with it."


Suddenly, Lani's eyes lit up with realization, "You meant it? You seriously want to go back to Alexandria, just because you got a crappy little letter from someone who hasn't talked to you in six years!"


Amarant turned slowly to face her. He had to force himself to hide his smirk, "It's an invitation. To-"


"-Zidane's birthday,"the bounty huntress concluded, not seeming to care herself if she smirked. "You're serious. You, biggy wiggy little ol' Ammy-poo going to his little wittle birthday pawty!" She snorted. "How old are you, now? Thirty-seven? Thirty-eight?"


"Thirty-two,"said Amarant, turning his back on her again.


"Ooooh, he admits it!"the bounty huntress cried, leaping to her own feet.


"I take it I'll be leaving you behind," she said shortly.


Lani snorted, "Like you did at Madain Sari? As if!"


"I didn't abandon you."


Lani scowled, "You screwed up our plan! How does that count as NOT leaving me behind?"


"Easily."


Now the bounty huntress faced Amarant's retreating back. Deepening her scowl, she charged after him and took up her pace beside him, "Fine. Someone has to change your diapers, after all."


Amarant chose to ignore her last comment. They crossed into the front of town, where the gates stood. Just as Amarant began to advance through them, Lani seized his shoulder and pulled him back. She ignored his sneer about his personal space being invaded.


"Wait,"said the bounty huntress. "We're going to walk all the way to Alexandria? Are you insane?"


Amarant put his large hands on his hips, and stared at the ground for a second, pouring every ounce of strength he had to not strangle her. After a brief moment of silence, he broke it.


"It's the sensible thing to do. I'm in no hurry."


Lani saw his obvious annoyance, and decided to keep things peaceful for a least a little longer, "Well,"she said, half-heartedly, but mockingly. "We could walk there. We could miss the party. And hey! When we get there, we can turn around and walk all the way back!"


Amarant lifted a hand to scratch the back of his neck and sighed, "Good point."


Lani grinned, "Don't worry, Red. I have an idea."




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"No."


Approximately five minutes later, Amarant stood, staring at the giant gargant eating it's grass, clinging to the giant vine. The giant Amarant looked at the not-so-giant Lani, and shook his head. He leaned against the wall opposite the large insect, eying his 'partner' with deadly force.


"Forget about it. I don't want to be there that quick,"he said, crossing his arms.


"Grrrr-"Lani growled through gritted teeth.


Another thirty seconds later, Amarant found himself sitting in the basket handing from the gargant's back. The wall flew past him, and the basket rocket slightly. He had also acquired an accountable, gil-sized goos egg on the back of his head. At this moment, as he had done so many times before, he wished he had the nerve to fight against her.


So ridiculous.


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Ah...now to relax. So fun, so...fun. And boring. But this, as it appears to myself, is going to turn out to be a promising little fanfiction. Lani is so cool, huh? Even Amarant is powerless to her will, lol. Floo...


Of course this is short. I couldn't think of anything to add when I edited it...so you'll have to wait until chapter 5 before they get much longer. Eep.