AN: This fic is more of a prelude to Dangerous. It gives an insight to Usagi's feelings about a lot of things shown in the anime. A warning: I haven't had a chance to get the last season of Sailor Moon ,the subtitled version, on tape so if I screw something up you've been warned! Also at the present point in time I am very emotional and it might reflect in the fic *shrugs* oh well! It will most likely be venting and semi planning for Usagi, so it will be done in Usagi's POV. Enjoy and review!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sailor Moon
Have you ever felt like you have no say in your life, whatsoever? Like your entire life is planned and your just going through the motions?
Well my life ended the day I came across a little black cat. Technically, I should of known that aren't black cats supposed to bring bad luck? Had I've known all the stress the cat would bring to my life, I'd of left her to rot. Sigh. No I wouldn't. I'd have helped her anyway. What can I say I'm a softie for creatures in trouble. And of course my inability to turn away and leave was Destiny's chance to ruin my life. All things considering I had it good. Loving parents, annoying little pest of a brother and ,okay, not so stellar grades than Destiny, bitch that she is decides `You know what Selenity's too happy in this life. Let's shake things up' so I meet the pesky cat and my life is no longer mine.
Do I hate Luna?
No. I love Luna. She's like the second nagging mother I never asked for. She's full of wanted and unwanted advice but I know she cares and loves me. Even if she can be the world's biggest pain in the ass!
Oh, so you want to know what I mean?
Well let me explain, first my life belonged to my princess, excuse me but I don't recall making any pledges of loyalty to any princess or other form of royalty in this life (or the last one for that matter), then after I start to get used to the idea the shock of the century comes, I'm THE princess. I bet her royal furriness didn't see that one coming. So then my life takes another turn I have a soul mate and joy of all joys ( can you feel my enthusiasm) it's Mamo-baka a.k.a Endymion, the former Prince of Earth .True he's not bad to look at, I'll give him that but looks only go so far. Personality wise he could use a transplant , maybe with a more pleasant creature ..................a wolverine perhaps. So know not only am I a warrior now I'm a princess and a soul mate, watch me jump for joy. You know if I knew wishing on a star was so effective I would of wished for a chocolate bar the size of Tokyo, you know something useful. Don't get me wrong ,I love helping people. I
just hate not being in control of my life and what happens in my life. And if you thought the fun ended there you are sadly mistaken. After our past incarnations were `blessedly' revealed, Mamo-baka has the nerve to get kidnapped by the Dark Kingdom! As if I didn't have enough to worry about! So long story short he gets brainwashed, tries to kill us , ends up helping us ( don't ask, I'm still confused about that part), gets injured by me ( not intentionally! Believe me had it been intentional the damage would have been much more massive! What can I say; I'm still upset about those Odango comments! ), electrocutes me, dies, gets reincarnated again, loses his memory, gains his memory back.... I swear that man has so many issues, it's a wonder he's not permanently brain damaged ( I'm waiting for the test results to get back on that.)
Okay, sarcasm aside. Through our multiple deaths and various cases of brainwashing and kidnapping, I grew to love him. Don't ask me how. I don't even know when it happened, it was like one day I couldn't stand him and the next I was in love and started to notice all these little things about him. The way he sipped his coffee or the way he always rubs his chin thoughtfully before he turns a page in his textbook ...Ugh! I have got it so bad it's disgusting! Don't get me wrong; I completely believe in love for everyone I just......never thought I'd feel a love like this. I'd do anything for that man. I have accepted him back after he caused me tremendous amounts of pain and I have forgiven him after he committed the stupidest mistakes! And I have watched him make me feel like a goddess one minute and feel like the broke bum in his way the next.
I have shed so many tears for him, because of him and my heart has taken beating after beating because of his carelessness and complete disregard for my feelings. But what really pisses me off is that I can't really angry with him because he doesn't even realize he does it most of the time. And when he does realize it, he truly is sorry and tries to make up for it. Ugh!!! I can't believe I'm defending him. After all the complications, he and Luna and destiny have given me in my lives!! I never asked for all this confusion! I would have been verrrrrry happy to have lived a nice simple life. With my simple parents and my simple friends.
OH NO! Please don't think that I'm sorry about my friends! They are one of the most and precious things that destiny was kind enough to give me. Without them, I'd have been dead long before the Silver Millennium ended. They are one of the only good things about my destiny. I don't know what I'd do without them. They have always in some form or another ( yes I'm talking about Rei-chan) supported me and I trust them with my life. Another thing would have to be Mamo-chan. For all my earlier bitching, he really does care about me, I know that and I just wish he'd show me a little more. A year ago was one of the times when he showed me how much he loved me. He gave me a ring (right before he was kidnapped again and had his soul taken away) and me in my ignorance, wasn't sure what it meant. I had a basic idea but he was gone before I could truly confirm my suspicions. He's always had an uncanny ability to disappear when I really want to know something about our relationship. VERY
annoying habit. Eventually everyone's souls are returned and after Mamo-chan physically shows me how much he loves me.
Truth?
It was the most amazing experience of my life!
I was in complete and total bliss for like a month after it happened. My dad even commented on my change in mood; if he knew exactly why my mood had changed well...let's just say ChibiUsa would not exist! The problem is, I guess I thought after we did it things would be different. Like we would go out more and actually do stuff, normal people do. Like go bowling or go to a movie and spend the entire time staring at each other instead of the screen.
My idea of a date is not watching him fall asleep from studying on his couch or me falling asleep from watching him!! I can't remember the last time we went on a date and his textbook wasn't an active participant. If I didn't know any better I'd think he was having an affair with it. I actually think he's slept with that book more than he has with me!!!! It doesn't take an Ami to realize that I am being taken advantage of!
The only question is what to do about it?
Wondering what I'm talking about? Well everytime a man does something stupid or ignores his girlfriend he has to be punished. It's basic training skills for your man. I've got a few ideas some of them are a bit dramatic but for the delicate situation that this is force is absolutely necessary to get my point across!
I can always break up with him?
Nope. Regardless of all the neglect and problems he has intentionally and unintentionally given me, I would never put him through all the shit he has put me through! I'm too nice!
I could tell daddy about what my evil boyfriend has put me through?
Nuh-uh! I like my boyfriend in one piece, thank you very much and after I told daddy, Prince of Earth or not there wouldn't be much left of him afterwards!
I am not trying to be sadistic or anything but I have gone through so much and I need something a little more than this!
My life has been decided for me and I am not going to let it be dictated by some unknown force anymore, especially my relationship! I'm taking my life into my hands!
Okay new plan. First Mamo-chan and I are going to have a conversation without the textbooks and I'll decide his punishment based on his response to what I have to say.
Things ought to get very interesting very soon!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sailor Moon
Have you ever felt like you have no say in your life, whatsoever? Like your entire life is planned and your just going through the motions?
Well my life ended the day I came across a little black cat. Technically, I should of known that aren't black cats supposed to bring bad luck? Had I've known all the stress the cat would bring to my life, I'd of left her to rot. Sigh. No I wouldn't. I'd have helped her anyway. What can I say I'm a softie for creatures in trouble. And of course my inability to turn away and leave was Destiny's chance to ruin my life. All things considering I had it good. Loving parents, annoying little pest of a brother and ,okay, not so stellar grades than Destiny, bitch that she is decides `You know what Selenity's too happy in this life. Let's shake things up' so I meet the pesky cat and my life is no longer mine.
Do I hate Luna?
No. I love Luna. She's like the second nagging mother I never asked for. She's full of wanted and unwanted advice but I know she cares and loves me. Even if she can be the world's biggest pain in the ass!
Oh, so you want to know what I mean?
Well let me explain, first my life belonged to my princess, excuse me but I don't recall making any pledges of loyalty to any princess or other form of royalty in this life (or the last one for that matter), then after I start to get used to the idea the shock of the century comes, I'm THE princess. I bet her royal furriness didn't see that one coming. So then my life takes another turn I have a soul mate and joy of all joys ( can you feel my enthusiasm) it's Mamo-baka a.k.a Endymion, the former Prince of Earth .True he's not bad to look at, I'll give him that but looks only go so far. Personality wise he could use a transplant , maybe with a more pleasant creature ..................a wolverine perhaps. So know not only am I a warrior now I'm a princess and a soul mate, watch me jump for joy. You know if I knew wishing on a star was so effective I would of wished for a chocolate bar the size of Tokyo, you know something useful. Don't get me wrong ,I love helping people. I
just hate not being in control of my life and what happens in my life. And if you thought the fun ended there you are sadly mistaken. After our past incarnations were `blessedly' revealed, Mamo-baka has the nerve to get kidnapped by the Dark Kingdom! As if I didn't have enough to worry about! So long story short he gets brainwashed, tries to kill us , ends up helping us ( don't ask, I'm still confused about that part), gets injured by me ( not intentionally! Believe me had it been intentional the damage would have been much more massive! What can I say; I'm still upset about those Odango comments! ), electrocutes me, dies, gets reincarnated again, loses his memory, gains his memory back.... I swear that man has so many issues, it's a wonder he's not permanently brain damaged ( I'm waiting for the test results to get back on that.)
Okay, sarcasm aside. Through our multiple deaths and various cases of brainwashing and kidnapping, I grew to love him. Don't ask me how. I don't even know when it happened, it was like one day I couldn't stand him and the next I was in love and started to notice all these little things about him. The way he sipped his coffee or the way he always rubs his chin thoughtfully before he turns a page in his textbook ...Ugh! I have got it so bad it's disgusting! Don't get me wrong; I completely believe in love for everyone I just......never thought I'd feel a love like this. I'd do anything for that man. I have accepted him back after he caused me tremendous amounts of pain and I have forgiven him after he committed the stupidest mistakes! And I have watched him make me feel like a goddess one minute and feel like the broke bum in his way the next.
I have shed so many tears for him, because of him and my heart has taken beating after beating because of his carelessness and complete disregard for my feelings. But what really pisses me off is that I can't really angry with him because he doesn't even realize he does it most of the time. And when he does realize it, he truly is sorry and tries to make up for it. Ugh!!! I can't believe I'm defending him. After all the complications, he and Luna and destiny have given me in my lives!! I never asked for all this confusion! I would have been verrrrrry happy to have lived a nice simple life. With my simple parents and my simple friends.
OH NO! Please don't think that I'm sorry about my friends! They are one of the most and precious things that destiny was kind enough to give me. Without them, I'd have been dead long before the Silver Millennium ended. They are one of the only good things about my destiny. I don't know what I'd do without them. They have always in some form or another ( yes I'm talking about Rei-chan) supported me and I trust them with my life. Another thing would have to be Mamo-chan. For all my earlier bitching, he really does care about me, I know that and I just wish he'd show me a little more. A year ago was one of the times when he showed me how much he loved me. He gave me a ring (right before he was kidnapped again and had his soul taken away) and me in my ignorance, wasn't sure what it meant. I had a basic idea but he was gone before I could truly confirm my suspicions. He's always had an uncanny ability to disappear when I really want to know something about our relationship. VERY
annoying habit. Eventually everyone's souls are returned and after Mamo-chan physically shows me how much he loves me.
Truth?
It was the most amazing experience of my life!
I was in complete and total bliss for like a month after it happened. My dad even commented on my change in mood; if he knew exactly why my mood had changed well...let's just say ChibiUsa would not exist! The problem is, I guess I thought after we did it things would be different. Like we would go out more and actually do stuff, normal people do. Like go bowling or go to a movie and spend the entire time staring at each other instead of the screen.
My idea of a date is not watching him fall asleep from studying on his couch or me falling asleep from watching him!! I can't remember the last time we went on a date and his textbook wasn't an active participant. If I didn't know any better I'd think he was having an affair with it. I actually think he's slept with that book more than he has with me!!!! It doesn't take an Ami to realize that I am being taken advantage of!
The only question is what to do about it?
Wondering what I'm talking about? Well everytime a man does something stupid or ignores his girlfriend he has to be punished. It's basic training skills for your man. I've got a few ideas some of them are a bit dramatic but for the delicate situation that this is force is absolutely necessary to get my point across!
I can always break up with him?
Nope. Regardless of all the neglect and problems he has intentionally and unintentionally given me, I would never put him through all the shit he has put me through! I'm too nice!
I could tell daddy about what my evil boyfriend has put me through?
Nuh-uh! I like my boyfriend in one piece, thank you very much and after I told daddy, Prince of Earth or not there wouldn't be much left of him afterwards!
I am not trying to be sadistic or anything but I have gone through so much and I need something a little more than this!
My life has been decided for me and I am not going to let it be dictated by some unknown force anymore, especially my relationship! I'm taking my life into my hands!
Okay new plan. First Mamo-chan and I are going to have a conversation without the textbooks and I'll decide his punishment based on his response to what I have to say.
Things ought to get very interesting very soon!