"Who's Cooking With Lana?"
Spring 1978
Episode One
"The Enrollers"
Scene- Apartment
Jack: Well, girls, you know how you always wanted to find an easy cooking class. Well, my school is holding a class called "Cooking for Dummies" this semester. It's held every Tuesday and Thursday. Do you want to enroll in it?
Janet: We're not dummies! Maybe you mistook us for one of your dates! Oh Jack! Of course I'll join.
Chrissy: Me too! After all, I am a dummy.
Jack and Janet stare at Chrissy
Chrissy: When it comes to cooking, that is!
Scene- Jack's Classroom
Mr. Travers: As you know, Mr. Stephenheimer is sick. I'll be your teacher the remainder of his absense. Also, I'd like to introduce a new student....... Lana Sheilds!
Jack looks in horror.
Lana: Deaniepooh, where do I sit. I sure am looking forward to cooking.
Jack hides his face so the dean won't pick him.
Travers: Mrs. Sheilds.....
Lana: That's Ms.
Travers: Please sit by Mr. Tripper
Lana walks to him...
Lana (to Jack): I sure am looking forward to cooking....with you!
Scene- Halls
Janet: Chrissy! I found our classroom. It's right here.
Chrissy: I always thought this school was wrong .
Janet: Come here Chrissy!
They enter room
Mrs. van Peters (German Accent): Girls! You are late. Sit your bottems down!
They sit down
Chrissy: I don't like your at all. She acts like a German Third Reich officer!
Mrs. Van Peters: I heard that. Ms. Snow, please go to the assistent principal's office.
Janet: Please, Mrs. Reich, I mean Mrs. van Peters...
Mrs. VPeters: You too, smart aleck!
Scene- Jack's Classrooms
Mr.Travers: Okay, now students, put the cake in the oven!
Jack stands up with cake.
Lana: Want to bake a cake when we leave?
Jack: Lana, please leave me alone!
Lana: Okay, Jackiepoo!
Lana sticks her leg out in front of Jack. Jack trips over and the cake lands on Dean Travers' feet.
Mr. Travers: Trippper! Let's go to my office!
Lana: Can I please go too? I can explain.
Mr. Travers: Okay!
Scene- Hallway
Mr. Travers: Okay, go inside my office.
Janet and Chrissy walk up too him.
Janet: Dean Travers, we were sent to the assistent dean's office, but he told us to go here.
Mr. Travers: Okay. All four of you go in my office!
They all walk in
Scene- Dean Traver's Office
Dean: Now, Ms. Wood and Ms. Snow, you were sent in for causing disruptions in class.
Chrissy: We didn't mean too.
Dean: I'll let you two off with warnings. Hey, aren't you some of the number of girls that live with Jack?
Jack: Only two, remember that!
Dean: Only two, only two......
Dean: Now, Mr. Tripper, please tell me why you dumped the cake on my foot.
Chrissy: I know! He can't get any girls who he can dump Snort, snort!
Dean: Ah-ha.... Anyway, answer me, Mr. Tripper.
Jack: I tripped.
Lana: Yes, my Tripper tripped.
Dean: Okay then, I'll let you off this time.
Scene- Apartment
Janet: Oh, I can't stand our teacher! She is so mean!
Jack: You'll get used to it. I remember my girlfriend took the course once.
Chrissy: And she turned out okay?
Jack: No...she ended up in a nut house.
They laugh as scene fades.
THE END
Spring 1978
Episode One
"The Enrollers"
Scene- Apartment
Jack: Well, girls, you know how you always wanted to find an easy cooking class. Well, my school is holding a class called "Cooking for Dummies" this semester. It's held every Tuesday and Thursday. Do you want to enroll in it?
Janet: We're not dummies! Maybe you mistook us for one of your dates! Oh Jack! Of course I'll join.
Chrissy: Me too! After all, I am a dummy.
Jack and Janet stare at Chrissy
Chrissy: When it comes to cooking, that is!
Scene- Jack's Classroom
Mr. Travers: As you know, Mr. Stephenheimer is sick. I'll be your teacher the remainder of his absense. Also, I'd like to introduce a new student....... Lana Sheilds!
Jack looks in horror.
Lana: Deaniepooh, where do I sit. I sure am looking forward to cooking.
Jack hides his face so the dean won't pick him.
Travers: Mrs. Sheilds.....
Lana: That's Ms.
Travers: Please sit by Mr. Tripper
Lana walks to him...
Lana (to Jack): I sure am looking forward to cooking....with you!
Scene- Halls
Janet: Chrissy! I found our classroom. It's right here.
Chrissy: I always thought this school was wrong .
Janet: Come here Chrissy!
They enter room
Mrs. van Peters (German Accent): Girls! You are late. Sit your bottems down!
They sit down
Chrissy: I don't like your at all. She acts like a German Third Reich officer!
Mrs. Van Peters: I heard that. Ms. Snow, please go to the assistent principal's office.
Janet: Please, Mrs. Reich, I mean Mrs. van Peters...
Mrs. VPeters: You too, smart aleck!
Scene- Jack's Classrooms
Mr.Travers: Okay, now students, put the cake in the oven!
Jack stands up with cake.
Lana: Want to bake a cake when we leave?
Jack: Lana, please leave me alone!
Lana: Okay, Jackiepoo!
Lana sticks her leg out in front of Jack. Jack trips over and the cake lands on Dean Travers' feet.
Mr. Travers: Trippper! Let's go to my office!
Lana: Can I please go too? I can explain.
Mr. Travers: Okay!
Scene- Hallway
Mr. Travers: Okay, go inside my office.
Janet and Chrissy walk up too him.
Janet: Dean Travers, we were sent to the assistent dean's office, but he told us to go here.
Mr. Travers: Okay. All four of you go in my office!
They all walk in
Scene- Dean Traver's Office
Dean: Now, Ms. Wood and Ms. Snow, you were sent in for causing disruptions in class.
Chrissy: We didn't mean too.
Dean: I'll let you two off with warnings. Hey, aren't you some of the number of girls that live with Jack?
Jack: Only two, remember that!
Dean: Only two, only two......
Dean: Now, Mr. Tripper, please tell me why you dumped the cake on my foot.
Chrissy: I know! He can't get any girls who he can dump Snort, snort!
Dean: Ah-ha.... Anyway, answer me, Mr. Tripper.
Jack: I tripped.
Lana: Yes, my Tripper tripped.
Dean: Okay then, I'll let you off this time.
Scene- Apartment
Janet: Oh, I can't stand our teacher! She is so mean!
Jack: You'll get used to it. I remember my girlfriend took the course once.
Chrissy: And she turned out okay?
Jack: No...she ended up in a nut house.
They laugh as scene fades.
THE END