Joyce DeWitt in Friends or Lovers"
Season One (1977-1978)
Episode Two
"Janet & Susan Go Truckin'"
Int Office Building-Office
[Janet is Filing Some Files. Bobby & Susan Are Typing]
Susan: Boy! This is a great thing I'm typing up for the TV!
Bobby: What is it?
Susan: It's on a sale at Sears!
Bobby: Oh, that's incredible!
Janet: What's the sale?
Susan: [Reading] For every two shirts you buy, you get a pair of bellbottems for only $3.00!
Janet: Oh, that's...fabulous!
Bobby: Women...
Janet: [To Bobby] Just go along with all that Susan says! You know she has the IQ of a woman in an institution!
Bobby: You mean she didn't escape from one?
[Mr.Smith Enters]
Norman: Hello people-who-get-paid-less-then-me!
Bobby: Hello Mister Smith.
Janet: Mr.Ed is more like it.
Norman: What?
Susan: She said 'Mr.Ed is more like-
Janet: is more like Frances the Mule!
Norman: You people have very interesting conversations. Anyway, I have an announcement for Janet and Susan.
Susan: Is it good?
Norman: It's on someone's life story!
Susan: Really? I hope it's on Miss Piggy! She's my idol, right after Elmo!
Bobby: Oh brother.....
Norman: It's on the life of the average trucker!
Susan: I never heard of Average Trucker.
Janet: Why do we have to do that?
Norman: I want to get more in touch with the truckers.
Janet: Most of the places they hang out at don't recieve of network!
Norman: I know, that's why we're doing this to help ease their pain. I don't see how they live without "Happy Days" and "Laverne & Shirley".......
Susan: Awww, they don't have their happy days? What about their good times?
Norman: They have that.
Susan: That's great! They're family still have good times!
Norman: They don't have "Family" either.
Bobby: Mister Smith, she doesn't mean the show.
Norman: OH! I knew that....
Janet: Sure, you did.
Norman: Now, you and Janet will go immediatly! I already have a truck outside.
Janet: But I haven't packed!
Susan: Neither have I!
Norman: You're not going to pack! Truckers get called out when they least expect it, and THEY can't pack either!
Janet: Well, Susan, I guess we're off!
Susan: To the...To the.....
Janet: Truck!
Susan: Yeah, to the truck!
Int Truck-Evening
[Janet & Susan Are in the Truck. Janet is Driving. Susan is Singing Cheerfully]
Susan: 9 bottles of beer on the wall, 9 bottles of beer! If one falls down-
Janet: SUSAN!
Susan: JANET!
Janet: Why did you just do that?
Susan: Well, you said my name, so-
Janet: No, why did you just HAVE to sing that song for the last three hours? You went from 999 bottles of beer, all the way to-
Susan: DARN! I forgot where I am! I guess I'll have to go back to 999!
Janet: No, no! [Laughs] You can't do that! I'll have to throw you off the truck!
Susan: [Singing] 999 bottles of beer on the wall, 999-
[The Truck Slows Down...and it Stops!]
Susan: You're not gonna kick me out! Please not!
Janet: Oh no! We're out of gas!
Susan: Then eat some beans!
Janet: No, no, not that! The car is out of gas!
Susan: Then open the hood and feed it some-
Janet: NO, SUSAN!
Susan: I have one idea left.
Janet: What is it?
Susan: Use the truck thingy.
Janet: The whatthingy?
Susan: That thing where you talk into.
Janet: Oh, that's called a breaker!
Susan: It broke something! It must've broken the car's gas! No wonder it smells in here, see-
Janet: Will you shut up about that?
Susan: About what?
Janet: GAS!
Susan: Then get out of the truck!
Janet: WHY?
Susan: If you have gas, I don't want to-
Janet: No, no! Stop talking about gas!
Susan: Okay....[Grabs Breaker] HELLO?
Janet: Susan, don't do that-
Man: [On Breaker] Hello, this is CaptainNDelila.
Susan: Hello, this is....LaverneNShirley.
Janet: SUSAN!
Susan: Are you the captain?
Captain: Yes, I am. And are you Laverne?
Susan: No.
Captain: Then your Laverne!
Susan: No, I'm Susan!
Captain: Then change your name!
Susan: Alright...BoogieAngel?
Captain: Hello BoogieAngel!
Delila: Hello Boogie Angel. Is everything alright?
Susan: Our car is out of gas.
Delila: Then put beans in it! [Laughs]
Susan: [To Janet] See, I told you so!
Janet: Susan, they're kidding!
Susan: Oh....I knwe that!
Janet: Sure...Looney toon.
Susan: Boogie Angel!
Janet: Whatever.
Captain: Girls, I'll be right there! I'll drop you off at Chickletts.
Janet: Chickletts?
Captain: It's a diner.
Delila: Well, now it's time for over and out! I'll be over there faster then you can shout!
Susan: 409!
Janet: 409?
Susan: Shout, 409?
Janet: Oh.....
Int Diner
[Janet & Susan are Sitting at Two Barstools]
Janet: Boy, we messed up this time!
Susan: No we didn't! We found out about the lives of truckers that are stranded!
Janet: What will that do us?
Susan: Well, it should do something! We can do one on judgements...truckers may seem mean, but they aren't!
Janet: Oh, I get what you're saying!
Susan: You do?
Janet: I know, it's a miracle, but I did!
Susan: Aww!
[Two Men Come Up to Them]
Man#01: Hi! I was wondering if you two wanted to join us? Tonight is disco night.
Janet: We'd love to join you!
Susan: Yeah!
Man#02: Then let's get on the dance floor!
[Janet, Susan, and the Two Men Dance as Screen Fade]
THE END
Season One (1977-1978)
Episode Two
"Janet & Susan Go Truckin'"
Int Office Building-Office
[Janet is Filing Some Files. Bobby & Susan Are Typing]
Susan: Boy! This is a great thing I'm typing up for the TV!
Bobby: What is it?
Susan: It's on a sale at Sears!
Bobby: Oh, that's incredible!
Janet: What's the sale?
Susan: [Reading] For every two shirts you buy, you get a pair of bellbottems for only $3.00!
Janet: Oh, that's...fabulous!
Bobby: Women...
Janet: [To Bobby] Just go along with all that Susan says! You know she has the IQ of a woman in an institution!
Bobby: You mean she didn't escape from one?
[Mr.Smith Enters]
Norman: Hello people-who-get-paid-less-then-me!
Bobby: Hello Mister Smith.
Janet: Mr.Ed is more like it.
Norman: What?
Susan: She said 'Mr.Ed is more like-
Janet: is more like Frances the Mule!
Norman: You people have very interesting conversations. Anyway, I have an announcement for Janet and Susan.
Susan: Is it good?
Norman: It's on someone's life story!
Susan: Really? I hope it's on Miss Piggy! She's my idol, right after Elmo!
Bobby: Oh brother.....
Norman: It's on the life of the average trucker!
Susan: I never heard of Average Trucker.
Janet: Why do we have to do that?
Norman: I want to get more in touch with the truckers.
Janet: Most of the places they hang out at don't recieve of network!
Norman: I know, that's why we're doing this to help ease their pain. I don't see how they live without "Happy Days" and "Laverne & Shirley".......
Susan: Awww, they don't have their happy days? What about their good times?
Norman: They have that.
Susan: That's great! They're family still have good times!
Norman: They don't have "Family" either.
Bobby: Mister Smith, she doesn't mean the show.
Norman: OH! I knew that....
Janet: Sure, you did.
Norman: Now, you and Janet will go immediatly! I already have a truck outside.
Janet: But I haven't packed!
Susan: Neither have I!
Norman: You're not going to pack! Truckers get called out when they least expect it, and THEY can't pack either!
Janet: Well, Susan, I guess we're off!
Susan: To the...To the.....
Janet: Truck!
Susan: Yeah, to the truck!
Int Truck-Evening
[Janet & Susan Are in the Truck. Janet is Driving. Susan is Singing Cheerfully]
Susan: 9 bottles of beer on the wall, 9 bottles of beer! If one falls down-
Janet: SUSAN!
Susan: JANET!
Janet: Why did you just do that?
Susan: Well, you said my name, so-
Janet: No, why did you just HAVE to sing that song for the last three hours? You went from 999 bottles of beer, all the way to-
Susan: DARN! I forgot where I am! I guess I'll have to go back to 999!
Janet: No, no! [Laughs] You can't do that! I'll have to throw you off the truck!
Susan: [Singing] 999 bottles of beer on the wall, 999-
[The Truck Slows Down...and it Stops!]
Susan: You're not gonna kick me out! Please not!
Janet: Oh no! We're out of gas!
Susan: Then eat some beans!
Janet: No, no, not that! The car is out of gas!
Susan: Then open the hood and feed it some-
Janet: NO, SUSAN!
Susan: I have one idea left.
Janet: What is it?
Susan: Use the truck thingy.
Janet: The whatthingy?
Susan: That thing where you talk into.
Janet: Oh, that's called a breaker!
Susan: It broke something! It must've broken the car's gas! No wonder it smells in here, see-
Janet: Will you shut up about that?
Susan: About what?
Janet: GAS!
Susan: Then get out of the truck!
Janet: WHY?
Susan: If you have gas, I don't want to-
Janet: No, no! Stop talking about gas!
Susan: Okay....[Grabs Breaker] HELLO?
Janet: Susan, don't do that-
Man: [On Breaker] Hello, this is CaptainNDelila.
Susan: Hello, this is....LaverneNShirley.
Janet: SUSAN!
Susan: Are you the captain?
Captain: Yes, I am. And are you Laverne?
Susan: No.
Captain: Then your Laverne!
Susan: No, I'm Susan!
Captain: Then change your name!
Susan: Alright...BoogieAngel?
Captain: Hello BoogieAngel!
Delila: Hello Boogie Angel. Is everything alright?
Susan: Our car is out of gas.
Delila: Then put beans in it! [Laughs]
Susan: [To Janet] See, I told you so!
Janet: Susan, they're kidding!
Susan: Oh....I knwe that!
Janet: Sure...Looney toon.
Susan: Boogie Angel!
Janet: Whatever.
Captain: Girls, I'll be right there! I'll drop you off at Chickletts.
Janet: Chickletts?
Captain: It's a diner.
Delila: Well, now it's time for over and out! I'll be over there faster then you can shout!
Susan: 409!
Janet: 409?
Susan: Shout, 409?
Janet: Oh.....
Int Diner
[Janet & Susan are Sitting at Two Barstools]
Janet: Boy, we messed up this time!
Susan: No we didn't! We found out about the lives of truckers that are stranded!
Janet: What will that do us?
Susan: Well, it should do something! We can do one on judgements...truckers may seem mean, but they aren't!
Janet: Oh, I get what you're saying!
Susan: You do?
Janet: I know, it's a miracle, but I did!
Susan: Aww!
[Two Men Come Up to Them]
Man#01: Hi! I was wondering if you two wanted to join us? Tonight is disco night.
Janet: We'd love to join you!
Susan: Yeah!
Man#02: Then let's get on the dance floor!
[Janet, Susan, and the Two Men Dance as Screen Fade]
THE END