Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling, the all powerful, owns Harry Potter rights, not me.
A/N: Harry's back, and the first question is a joke between Lily Smith and me.
Harry,
Why have you been avoiding me? We've been going out for almost two years and you haven't talked to me!! Why?
Phoebe(A/N: this is NOT me!!!! If you watched CHARMED it's Phoebe Halliwell)
Pheebs!!
Um sorry (see the first column for why he's acting strangely) I, um have to go now. Padfoot, take over for me. (*Harry runs out of room*)
A/N: crap!! I hate when he does this!!!!
Harry, or whomever,
I have a problem. Harry is related to me, but I can't say how. But that's not my problem. Si, oops Padfoot, you might know whom I'm talking about. I like Cody Diggory and I want to ask him out, but I don't know how. Can you help me?
NEEDS HELP
NEEDS,
Hm, related to Harry? You wouldn't be J.P. would you? (A/N: see Beginnings). Either write him a note or tell him how you feel, wait, if you're J.P. how are you writing to me, your supposedly (*sorry, I can't let Padfoot say what he was going to say because he'll ruin my other story.*)
Padfoot
Old Friend,
Why the hell are you answering advice? I thought you had more sense then that!! Well, we must meet again.
PRONGS
Ole buddy, ole pal,
I, um took over for your son, wait that isn't a question that needs advice. GRRRRRRRR! Don't write here unless you need advice!!!
Padfoot
Mr. Black,
We are pleased to inform you, that your name has been in fact, cleared. We have caught the slimy little git Pettigrew. Feel free to live your life as a normal man again.
Minister of Magic
TO EVERYONE:
Yippee!!! I'M FREE, I'M FREE!! FREE AT LAST!! HARRY, YOU'RE MOVING, PACK YOUR BAGS!! Wait, this isn't advice but hell it's news, so I'll let it slide!!
Sirius Black
A/N: Harry finally decided to come back to his advice column. If you liked Dumbledore or Sirius Black, let me now.
Scar head,
Do you realize you're making me go insane? Why the hell won't you die!!!!
Voldie
Loser,
For one thing, I don't think it's possible for you to get anymore insane!! Secondly, you can't kill me!!(*sticks tongue out at computer screen*)
Scar head.
P.S: DON'T THINK TO HARD OVER MY ANSWERS, YOU MIGHT HURT YOURSELF!!
Harry,
I promised to keep my "quill to myself" to a "girl who HAD me in a jar", but I'm itching to write something horrible to get noticed. What should I do?
Unregistered
Rita Skeeter,
You (*censored*). DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN IF YOU WRITE ABOUT MY FRIENDS AND I AGAIN!! I WILL TELL EVERYONE, YOUR AND UNREGISTERED ANIMAGUS, OOPS, SORRY ABOUT THAT…………………..NOT!!
POTTER
PS DON'T WRITE HERE AGAIN!!
A/N: please r/r and tell me what you think. Pheobe Smith