Author: Kelley (beanyb1999@hotmail.com)
Rating: PG-13 I think.
Feedback: Yes, please!
Distribution: You want it? Let me know.
Summary: Spike and Tara figured out what was wrong with Buffy. Spike is trying to fix it right now. Wackiness has ensued. Takes place after "Wrecked" or "Gone."
Disclaimer: Joss still owns them all. I'll have Spike one day dammit!
Dedication: For Christy, because she helped me so much with this. For Shelley, because she writes fanfic with me. For all my excellent reviewers, I love you guys!!!!
NOTE: Bold type represents Willow's voice and Italic type represents Spike's and William's voices.
Note the Second: I'm taking a break from studying for a Theatre History test at the moment. I think I'm going to end up failing it anyway. Pray for my sanity.
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"This is better than anything I've ever witnessed in Sunnyhell," Spike chuckled quietly to himself.
He decided to get involved in the action when William was propelled off the red-head he had pinned down. Slipping into game face, he went and grabbed the red-head from behind, pleased he still seemed to have vampire strength, even in the state he was in. He held her arms down at her side.
The other two whimpered.
Spike grabbed the red-head's hair and bared her neck to him.
"That's it! I'm sick of arguing. It's time for a compromise. If you don't play fair, we don't play fair!" He roughly turned around to face the sister powers. "This, ladies, is a hostage situation. If you don't work with us, I'll drain this bird."
The two free powers were now afraid of Spike. This only puzzled the vampire because he thought the PTB had supreme control. He knew he couldn't really hurt them.
William walked next to Spike. He smiled wryly.
"Obviously, we seem to find ourselves in an unpleasant situation."
He coughed and looked at Spike, frowning. Despite William's appearance of disapproval, Spike could see the amused look in William's eyes. He still held on to his hostage.
"So," William began. "Are we ready to strike a deal?"
None of the powers moved, so Spike forcefully nodded the head of the one in his arms.
"Ow!" She glared at him.
A small smile played on his lips.
"This isn't good karma, Vampire," she said.
At least they weren't talking in unison now. "Yeah, well I never claimed to be good, pet."
"Well, I believe we are ready to talk now," William said with a clap of his hands.
******
"Did anyone see that?" Xander asked again.
"See what, honey?" Anya looked at her fiancé. "Are you feeling all right? I've read that stressful situations can sometimes cause a person to see things."
Xander blinked, still staring at Spike.
"I . . . He . . . There was . . . "
"What?" Buffy asked, frowning still.
"He . . . he, uh, flick-flickered," Xander stuttered.
"Flickered?" Dawn asked, a look of terror and worry and amazement and disbelief all playing on her face at once.
Xander wrinkled his forehead and shook the thought away from his brain. "I guess I'm just tired."
Everyone nodded compassionately.
"Willow, can you find out what's going on?" Buffy asked very businesslike.
"OH! The Powers are being disrupted! There's so much chaos!" Drusilla wailed, falling to her knees. She still managed to seem fascinated by this.
"Wh-What is she talking about, Buffy?" Dawn looked at her sister.
Buffy shrugged. "Like I understand her ramblings!"
"Sweet William! Naughty Spike! Working together!"
"Uh, Willow. Some help would be good," Buffy whispered loudly.
"Oh goddess. I, uh, oh goddess. Think, Willow, think!"
"Ack! He flickered again!" Xander cried after a girly yelp. "I'm not imagining things!"
Buffy and Dawn hurried to get next to Xander. They looked closely at the vampire. Nothing happened.
"Xander, what are you talking about?" Buffy asked, still waiting to see if anything happened.
"It's true," Anya said. "Spike flickered. I saw it too." She nodded at the two sisters.
Then Buffy saw it. He flickered. It was like watching a light bulb before it burned out completely. Buffy bit her lip. That whole light bulb analogy was good, but Spike burning out was definitely not of the good.
"What's with the flickering? What's happening?" Buffy placed her hand on Spike's cheek. He was still there.
"There's nothing inhabiting the body," Anya stated.
Everyone turned to her for an explanation.
She sighed. "Ok, the demon is not in the body. There is no spirit, no soul . . . just an empty vessel. The body actually died 121 years ago. So, really, the body should be long gone. Without a spiritual presence or anything, it will simply disappear, like it's starting to do now. If it is not reclaimed soon, it will die and Spike's demon will go right to hell. It will be like he never existed."
Buffy's eyes grew wide as saucers. "Never existed?"
"Well, kinda," she said. "You'll eventually forget he ever existed in your life. He'll become a forgotten memory."
"How do you know this?" Dawn asked uneasily.
"I've been around for a long time. I pick up things."
Everyone looked at Spike worriedly.
"Willow, figure out where Spike is. Can you do the telephone thingie to talk to him?" Buffy asked in a distracted tone.
"Telephone? Oh! Telepathy, you mean! I can try. It will take me awhile."
Willow laid Tara down gently then went and sat next to Spike. She grabbed his hand, hoping his body would still be able to trace his presence.
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and concentrated, determined to save the bleached wonder, for Buffy's sake.
*****
The red-head struggled in Spike's arms.
"You do realize that if someone does not go back soon . . ."
Spike interrupted. "A quick deal and I won't drain you."
"You can't harm us, Vampire." She finally broke free of his grasp.
William sighed and bowed his head.
Spike? Are you there?Spike looked around for the new voice before he realized it was in his head. William looked perplexed.
Hey, Willow! I'm stuck in this . . . place!
Uh, hi. Who is this?
Back in the Magic Box, Willow jumped. "Aaah!" Two voices responded at once.
"What? What?" Buffy was about to pounce on the witch.
Willow shook her head quickly.
Spike, what's going on?
Red, we're having problems.
Who is this?
Willow tilted her head and narrowed her eyes.
Who am I talking to?
Spike.
William.
The Powers That Be watched William and Spike. They seemed to be lost in thought.
"What? William?" Willow raised her eyebrows.
Drusilla clapped. "William and Spike . . .creating havoc!"
Guys, what is going on?
Red, it's kinda . . .well, not a good time.
Lady, we're having problems with the Powers.
What kind? Why are you still stuck up there?
The bloody bints are trying to send me to hell!
They want to send me back!
Whoa there! Hold on! Ok, uh, Spike, what?
They're trying to keep me from going back, Red!
What's William doing with you?
The Powers are trying to send me back to my body. They think I want a second chance at life!
Well, you need to get back fast. Spike, your body is flickering!
Come again? Flickering?
The Powers began circling to two men.
Anya says that if someone does not inhabit the body soon, it will cease to exist. Hurry up!
Willow, I'm trying!
Yes, they are being quite difficult!
Well, think of something fast! You don't have much time!
Spike began to notice the Powers circling them.
What should we do, miss?
Whatever it takes, William. Just HURRY!
The Powers stopped walking. They said a quick chant and Willow was gone.
"Great. Bloody great," muttered Spike.
*****
"Oh, fudge!" Willow cried.
"What? What's going on?" Buffy asked.
"I lost them!" Willow said, upset.
"What? Them? Who? What?" Xander asked.
"William and Spike. Seems that the Powers are trying to send Spike to hell and William back here. Spike and William are trying to change that."
"What?" Buffy jumped up. "NO! They can't do that! He can't come back wrong! Do something!"
"Buffy, I-I can't. It's up to them to fix it!"
Buffy sank to her knees, a look of defeat on her face. She leaned over Spike and stared at his face. "You better come back right."
*****
"Now what?" William whispered loudly.
"I don't know!" Spike said slowly, trying not to panic.
"We have to send you back, William. Time is almost up."
In a moment of desperation, Spike covered his ears and yelled at the top of his lungs.
"WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE, YELLOW SUBMARINE, YELLOW SUBMARINE! WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE . . ."
He purposely sang off key and and began running around the three women.
William raised an eyebrow. He had no clue what was going on in Spike's head.
"Stop it now! We command you!"
William smiled. He knew exactly what was going on in Spike's head. My body was taken over by a bloody brilliant demon! he thought proudly.
Not knowing any modern songs, which he believed to be the most annoying, he began running around the Powers screaming his head off like a spoiled three year old.
The Powers rolled their eyes. This had never happened before because people usually never acted this way in their presence. They believed they were about to experience their first ever headache.
Sending Spike to a hell dimension would be cruel to the leaders of those dimensions. He was the single most annoying creature they'd ever met, but he loved the Slayer. Plus, he was a bad influence on Sweet William. In addition, this kind of stuff just wasn't supposed to happen in Heaven.
Suddenly, everything was silent again. William and Spike were gone . . . finally. The Powers had made their decision.
Spike and William found themselves in the dark.