Zetsuai

By White Angel

That piercing gaze of his that can strip me bare down to my soul.

Whenever he directs it at me I become a quivering mass at his feet.

He just needs to look at me and I would do anything for him.

Is that what he calls... love?

I don't know.

I am so confused.

I don't know love.

I only know pain.

I want to trust him but...

I can't.

I am not ready.

He is so possessive.

He would never let me go.

And I am not sure I would want him too, no matter what I usually say.

I push him away.

I push him away because I am afraid.

Afraid of what he does to me.

Afraid of what he makes me do.

Afraid of what he makes me feel.

Afraid of myself.

There is so much fear inside me, so much fear I didn't know I had because I bottled up all my feelings, hiding them, trying not to feel.

Only he could make me feel.

I don't know why but Koji was the first to brake through all my walls, all my barriers, all my resistances.

He loves me, he means it every single time he says it. I am sure of that. I want to tell him the same, asure him that I feel the same, even if it is only to make him happy. He does so much for me.

But I can't make myself say it, even if I slowly come to terms with my own feelings. I think... I think that I... I do feel something for him. But if it is love...

How could I know?

I never knew love.

But he does make me feel something.

I want it to be love.

I long for him, his touch, his words.

I want to hear him say how much he loves me. It always leaves me so warm inside.

I want to feel his touch on my skin, burning hot on my skin.

I want to tell him so but I can't.

I simply can't.

I hope you understand, Koji. Even if I don't say so... I need you in my life.

The End

This was something that was burning on the tips of my fingers. Sorry if it is a little OOC, I just wrote what came to mind ^^.

Please review, I need some approval (or criticism if you only got that )