Quiet Hill (Part 3)
Harry opened his eyes to see Lisa sitting in front of him. He was back at the hospital.
Lisa: Harry, you were having a bad dream.
Harry: Lisa? How did I get back here?
Lisa: You never left. You just passed out on the floor.
Harry: Yes I did. I met that weird Dahlia Galespie woman again. Do you know who she is.
Lisa: How could you not, with the way she dresses? I heard her daughter was almost killed in a fire a few years ago. Can you imagine that? Her having children. That's just sick.
Harry: She said something about the town being devoured by darkness. Do you know what this means?
Lisa: There used to be this dark worship group around here. They used do get together and practice black magic and incantations. Weird occult stuff like that.
Harry: Occult?
The use of the large word confused Harry and made his head spin.
Lisa: Then a bunch of new people moved into town, and everyone kept quiet about things. I'm sorry. I'm rambling. I'll shut up now.
Harry: Yeah, you were getting kind of annoying there. Do you know how to get across the lake?
Lisa: You take Bachman road, hang a right past the Dairy Queen, and keep going straight. Can't miss it.
Harry: The road's been destroyed. Is there any other way?
Lisa: Unless you have a boat, you'll have to go through the sewers. Sucks to be you.
Harry woke up and found himself in another new room. He wasn't at all phased at all by the fact that there were dead bodies wearing straight jackets tied to the walls.
Harry: Was I dreaming? Or is this a dream? Or is any of this a dream? Or is any of this real? Or is life itself real?
Harry contemplated the meaning of existence for a few minutes, and although it was extremely funny we don't have enough time to talk about it. Let's just say that he concluded that life was like a cupcake, and leave it at that.
He exited the room he was in, and found himself back on the street. Only this time, they were burnt like the school and the hospital. He began to run for a little while, until he found himself outside the local shopping mall. Harry noticed a sign on the door.
Harry: 50% off all sporting goods? Dude, I am there.
Harry ran into the mall and began to walk up the escalator. Suddenly, the large television screen next to the escalator sprung to life, and showed a girl.
Girl: I'll bid $700, Bob.
Bob Barker: The actual retail value on the sofa is $750. Come on up here Maurine.
Harry stopped there for a while and watched the show.
Harry: No, you idiot! Put that price on the boat!
When the show was over, Harry continued his search for the sporting goods store. When he got to the top of the escalator, the ground suddenly fell out from under him. Harry landed with a thud. As he stood up, an enormous caterpillar emerged from the ground.
Harry: If only I had a really big jar.
Harry prepared to fight the thing. Lucky for him, it just squirmed out the door.
Harry: What? I'm not good enough for you to eat?
Harry began to run through the streets again. The monsters here were more aggressive than before, and didn't care how funny it was to see Harry walk. They were out for blood. No matter how fast Harry ran, the monsters were right on his tail. Even with his flashlight turned off, they could still find him. What Harry didn't know is that all the monsters were equipped with the most high tech night vision goggles that money could buy. Strangely, all the roads led him to the hospital. Harry entered and found Lisa again.
Lisa: Hey, Harry. You need something?
Harry: Not really. I just couldn't go anywhere else. The road wouldn't let me.
Lisa: Oh, sure. The road wouldn't let you. Don't try to hide your feelings for me, Harry. I can read you like a book.
Harry: I write books. You should read them, not me.
Lisa: Stay with me, Harry. I'm scared. And I'm cold. And I'm hungry. I want a pizza. Go out and get me one of those.
Harry: Uh, okay.
So Harry left the hospital and began his quest for a pizza. Now, only one long strip of the road remained, leading Harry to the building across the street. With nowhere else to go, he climbed to the roof to see if there was a pizza shop nearby.
As he looked out at the darkness, Harry could hear a loud flapping noise from behind him. He turned around to see a gigantic moth hovering over him.
Harry: Oh no. It's a mammoth moth. It's Mamoth.
Mamoth began shooting poison at Harry. Harry attempted to shoot the thing. Take a wild guess how that turned out.
Harry: My bullets are useless against this thing.
The bullets may have had more of an affect if he had managed to connect with one. Harry began to run frantically around the roof and Mamoth gave chase. As Mamoth prepared to attack, Harry jumped behind the large satellite dish that was on the roof. Mamoth, unable to change direction, went head first into the satellite. There was a large crackling sound as the beast burst into flames. As it burned, the world slowly returned to it's original state.
Harry: Harry Mason three, monsters zero.
Harry began to make his way to the sewer entrance near the school. On the way, he found what looked like a birthday card. On the envelope was the name Alessa.
Harry: Hmm, I should try to deliver this.
When Harry reached the bridge, he was magically warped to the entrance of the sewers.
In the sewers, Harry was assaulted by many monsters with large claws. He also got lost many times, but he can't be faulted for this considering that the damn place looks exactly the same everywhere you go.
When he finally emerged, Harry found himself in the resort area. Checking his map, he noticed a bar nearby, and decided to stop in for a drink....or two.....or thirty.
Outside the bar, Harry could hear what sounded like a struggle. Thinking he was an action hero, he kicked in the door and aimed his gun. On the floor was Kaufmann, pinned down by a large headless teddy bear. Harry fired his gun, and missed.
He missed? Wow, that was a real surprise. The bullet did, however, strike the eight ball on the nearby pool table, launching it into the throat of the creature. It choked to death, and fell off of Kaufmann.
Harry: Hey man, are you okay?
It was then that Harry realized that Kaufmann had his pants around his ankles.
Harry: What the hell?!?
Kaufmann: You idiot! You killed my girlfriend!
Harry: Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap!
Kaufmann: So, did you find a way out?
Harry: How?
Kaufmann: I guess that means no.
Harry: No, I mean "how"? How the hell could you do something like that? It's sick.
Kaufmann: Well, I don't any more, thanks to you. Never mind that now, did you find a way out or not?
Harry: I mean, I knew you were pretty messed up, but damn.
Kaufmann: Okay, will you just drop it already? Answer my question. Do you know of a way out?!
Harry: No! And even if I did, my mind is completely blank right now.
Kaufmann: So how is this different from every other day?
Harry: Oh, you're one to talk, monster lover.
Kaufmann: That's it. I don't have to take this kind of crap. Screw you guys, I'm going home.
It was then that Harry remembered the birthday card in his pocket.
Harry: Hey, do you know someone named Alessa?
Kaufmann: No.
Harry: Damn it! Why does nobody know anybody else in this town? It's not that big!
After Kaufmann left, Harry glanced down at the floor to see that Kaufmann had dropped a few things. Among them were a motel key...
Harry: Most likely for him to take his ghouls to.
...and a receipt with numbers written on the back.
Harry: Probably from a prono shop. I bet he buys all kinds of sick demonic crap from them.
Against his better judgement, Harry decided to check out the store. After putting the number into the combination lock on the door, he entered. It wasn't a porno shop, but a storage warehouse.
Harry easily located a safe under the counter, and the combination for it. So much for security. Inside were large packets of a white substance. Harry looked around to make sure he wasn't being watched, and slipped one into his coat pocket.
Harry: I'll take this for......evidence. Yeah, that's it.
With nothing left to look at, Harry decided to check out Kaufmann's motel room. He could probably find all kinds of things to blackmail Kaufmann with.
Once he had reached the motel and used Kaufmann's key, Harry found his way into a garage that housed a beautiful Harley Davidson. As Harry drooled over the bike, a coackroach crawled over his foot. Scared to death over the little insect, Harry began shooting at it. The man couldn't hit Mamoth. What made him think he could hit something the size of his own thumb? One of the bullets struck the bike and opened up the gas tank. Inside was a glass vial, filled with a strange red liquid. It was the same red liquid from the floor of the hospital. Harry decided that this batch must be better, since it was hidden. As he was about to take a drink, Kaufmann walked in.
Kaufmann: Why is this door opened? I swore I....oh no, don't!
Kaufmann ran up to Harry and snatched the bottle out of his hands.
Kaufmann: What the hell's the matter with you!?! You trying to get yourself killed?!?
Harry: I just wanted some fruit punch.
Kaufmann: It's not fruit punch, you idiot! It's.......it's.........motot oil.
Harry: Shouldn't motor oil be clear? Or at the most black? That stuff is red.
Kaufmann: Forget about that. Instead of messing around with this, you should be looking for a way out.
Harry: Look who's telling who not to mess around. I'm not the one who's playing hankey pankey with every demon that walks down the road.
Kaufmann: That's enough! You mention that one more time and I'll kill you myself!
Kaufmann stormed out the door with the bottle.
Harry: Dickhead.
Harry left the motel and continued on his way. He remembered what Lisa had said about using a boat to cross the lake, and decided to check the docks. On the way, the town once again shifted into the nightmare version of itself.
Harry: You know, I'm getting really tired of this. I wish this damn town would just make up it's mind as to what it wants to look like. First it's old, then it's old and burnt. If it's going to change it's look, it could at least pick something decent.
Harry made his way down to the docks and found a large boat. He headed towards the bridge to see if he could get it moving. As he was about to try the starter, the door opened and closed behind him. It was Cybil again. You know, if the monsters knew how to open doors, Harry would really be screwed. How many times is this that his friends have got the drop on him?
Cybil: Harry, what's going on.
Dahlia: It is the darkness that I was talking about.
Harry: Ahhhhhh. Where the hell did you come from!?!
Dahlia: You must stop it, before it's too late. If you don't, the dead will walk and martyrs will burn in hell. Frozen yogurt will no longer be fat free, and Gilligan will never get off the island.
Harry: Oh no, poor Gilligan.
Cybil: What do we have to do?
Dahlia: You must make haste to the light house, and to the amusement park.
Harry: Oh boy. I'm gonna ride the roller coasters, and go in the fun house and get some cotton candy and fudge, and...
Cybil: I'll go to the amusement park.
Harry: No, I wanna go.
Cybil: No, Harry, you'll be too busy checking out the lighthouse.
Harry: Oh, right.
Dahlia: You will need to use it.
Harry: Use what?
Dahlia: The Flauros.
Harry: That old thing? I got rid of that thing long ago.
Dahlia: You what?!?
Harry: Yeah. It was a real pain in the butt. Did it have to be so bulky?
Dahlia: You idiot! Do you realize what you've done?
Harry: Hey, you try fighting off monsters with that thing jabbing you in the leg.
Dahlia: Never mind that. I'll go and find it. You must get to the lighthouse.
Harry: The lighthouse. Got it.
Dahlia: One more thing. Do you have any idea where you last saw it?
Harry: Sorry.
Harry ran to the lighthouse. On the way, he took a couple of wrong turns and got pounded on by these annoying ape looking guys. Harry was no match for their horrible hit detection. Harry began to run down the stairs to get away, but fell off of them and landed on his face. After losing a substantial amount of blood, Harry finally made it to the lighthouse. As he climbed the stairs, he ran into the wall a few times.
At the top, the place looked freshly burnt with the mark of Samael. A girl in blue stood at the end of the lighthouse.
Harry: Hey, you're that girl who made me wreck. We need to swap insurance information.
Once again, Harry remembered the birthday card.
Harry: Are you Alessa? I have a card for you.
The girl quickly disappeared when Harry said this.
Harry: Damn it. What's in this thing? I'm sick of carrying it around and not knowing.
Harry tore open the letter and a blue light emitted from the envelope. Suddenly, a collaboration of white lights could be seen in the sky.
Harry: What the heck?
The lights grew brighter as they came closer to Harry. When they were close enough, Harry could see that they were UFO's. One of the crafts landed on the lighthouse and two aliens emerged.
Harry: Hi guys. Have you seen a little girl around here?
The aliens spoke in a strange language. I will translate for you.
Mike the alien: Hey, what did Bob say he needed us to pick up for his recipe?
Joe the alien: Dill weed.
MTA: This guys a Dill Hole. Will that do?
JTA: Close enough. Put him inside.
The aliens used a device to zap Harry, and dragged him of to the ship.
JTA: Man, I can't wait to try Bob's dip.
MTA: We better get going. The game starts in twenty minutes.
The aliens entered the spacecraft and flew off.