3: Act Two
She was going to run to him, going to throw her arms around him and whisper "Come what may" into his ear, going to tell him that Gavin was his child...she was going to do so many things. But Satine was unable to move.
"Thank you." She whispered after finally finding her voice.
"It was what anyone would have done in these circumstances," he said coldly. "Goodbye, Mr. Gavin. Goodbye, Satine."
Christian turned and walked out of her life.
"Mamma, do you know that nice man?" Gavin asked, swinging Satine's arm and licking his lollipop.
"I did, once."
"He bought me a lolly."
"That was kind of him." Satine smiled at her son softly before beginning to scold him. "Gavin, you know never to let go of my hand when we're at a busy place. I don't want you to ever scare me like that again."
He sniffled a little. "I'm sorry, Mummy."
Gavin looked so like Christian at that moment that Satine's heart melted. She pulled her son close to her and kissed him fiercely. "Mummy, you're hurtin' me." He squirmed from her grasp and returned to his candy.
Christian could not forget the boy. He was so like himself at that age...but no, Gavin was not his son. This complicated puzzle's pieces didn't seem to fit together. Gavin couldn't be his child.
Why had Satine done that horrid, hateful thing to him in her dressing room? Couldn't she see that fate had brought them together and now fate was tearing them apart? Hardening his heart was hard, so hard...
The next night, Satine was preparing to go onstage when Millie, a small girl who had often helped Satine with her costumes, knocked timidly on the door and handed Satine a huge bunch of red roses. "For you," she said with a small curtsey.
"Thank you, Millie." Satine dismissed the stage maid and searched the bouquet for a note, a card, anything that would lend a clue to the donor. The only sign was a lollipop nestled among the roses.
"Christian." He heard a whisper behind him.
How do you block the sound of a voice you'd know anywhere? Christian thought. He turned and saw her behind him, blue eyes overflowing with tears.
"I got your flowers." Her voice filled the room with its featherlight tone.
With volumes of words passing between their eyes, he left his seat and she flew into his arms. Her hands traveled through his hair and traced the curves of his lips before she laid her own upon them. She kissed him hungrily and he kissed her back ten times more intensely.
She pushed him away, holding his arms and looking deeply into his eyes. "I'm sorry, Christian, so sorry."
He made no reply, just kissed her harder and began to fumble with the laces of her dress.
The room was foggy with the heat of their passion. Satine lay back on the pillows, loving each minute, dizzy with ecstasy and feeling Christian tremble inside of her. Her name on his lips was like music...Satine was aware of nothing but their lovemaking, nothing but the way she felt when she was with him. "Christian..." she moaned, shuddering with orgasm after orgasm. Only he had this affect on her. Only he could make her feel like this.
"The angel opens her eyes...pale blue colored eyes." Christian sang when Satine finally woke. He had been watching her for what seemed like hours, simply watching her sleep. She was beautiful in sleep. Her golden curls were divinely soft and fragrant, spread across her pillow like they were.
The rain was quietly falling outside, the sky grayish and Christian's apartment illuminated with golden lamplight.
Satine smiled and turned on her side to face him. "Good morning." She curled closer to him and sighed in complete bliss. "I haven't felt like this in ages."
They lay silent for a while, listening to the rain pattering on the roof.
"Why did you change your hair?" Christian suddenly asked.
"So I would be less recognizable." She answered. "Why? Don't you like it?"
"I like it red much more."
"I do too."
Christian wanted to ask her who Gavin's father was. He wanted to ask her why she had pretended not to love him. He wanted to ask why she had tricked him into thinking she was dead. He wanted to ask if he was sleeping with a ghost. But he kept quiet.
"It was so the Duke couldn't find me, if, per say, he didn't believe in my death." She continued. "Oh, Christian, I didn't mean to hurt you this way. It was for the best."
She could feel him stiffen and move away from her. When he spoke, his voice was pained. "Do you know the hell I went through, Satine?"
"Christian..." she stroked his face and kissed him lightly, but he turned away.
"Go away, Satine. Go away."
"Christian..."
"I SAID GET OUT!" He roared.
She did so, leaving the bed and hastily throwing on her dress. "Goodbye, Christian."
He said nothing.
She shut the door and tried not to weep as she headed home.
Rain was fitting for her mood. She locked the door to her bedroom, lay on her bed, and sobbed.
"Mummy? Are you in there, Mummy?" Gavin's little voice came from the keyhole. "Can I come in?"
"No." She snapped.
"Mummy, are you all right?"
"Just go away, Gavvie."
"Okay, Mummy." The little boy whimpered.
Now I've made my son think I hate him, Satine raged at herself. I can't go onstage tonight. I cannot. She sighed. I have to put on a smile and pretend everything is just wonderful even though that's just a lie.
There were no lollipops that night. No flowers. Nothing from Christian to signal that he was sorry. Satine blamed herself. If only she hadn't let Harold and Marie talk her into deceiving Christian like that. If only she hadn't been so insensitive. If only...but if onlys were useless now.
He was playing the scene over and over in his head. Why did he have to scream at her that way? It wasn't completely her fault. Stupid judgmental Christian. He kept seeing the little boy's face...how had he not known?
He sat down at his typewriter and began to write. The words hit him like a mallet and he tried not to cry while he wrote.
"Oh no, I see,
I spun a web, it's tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I said,
Oh no what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
I turned to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done.
I never meant to cause you trouble,
And I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
O no, I never meant to do you harm."
He clicked away, thinking all the while of Satine. The most beautiful Diamond Dog of them all...the Sparkling Diamond..."The French are glad to die for love..." The smell of absinthe...her kiss...the Duke...Spectacular Spectacular..."The girls, they call them the diamond dogs..." Images and words of his past life flitted through his subconscious, making him dizzy. He wanted nothing more than to lay down right there and die. Die like Toulouse. Die like the real Satine had died.
Oh no I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here I am in love in a bubble,
Singing, I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Although I never meant to do you harm.
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me."
Christian closed his eyes and, against his will, thought of her.
Chapter 4 (and probably final chapter, too) up soon. Promise.
She was going to run to him, going to throw her arms around him and whisper "Come what may" into his ear, going to tell him that Gavin was his child...she was going to do so many things. But Satine was unable to move.
"Thank you." She whispered after finally finding her voice.
"It was what anyone would have done in these circumstances," he said coldly. "Goodbye, Mr. Gavin. Goodbye, Satine."
Christian turned and walked out of her life.
"Mamma, do you know that nice man?" Gavin asked, swinging Satine's arm and licking his lollipop.
"I did, once."
"He bought me a lolly."
"That was kind of him." Satine smiled at her son softly before beginning to scold him. "Gavin, you know never to let go of my hand when we're at a busy place. I don't want you to ever scare me like that again."
He sniffled a little. "I'm sorry, Mummy."
Gavin looked so like Christian at that moment that Satine's heart melted. She pulled her son close to her and kissed him fiercely. "Mummy, you're hurtin' me." He squirmed from her grasp and returned to his candy.
Christian could not forget the boy. He was so like himself at that age...but no, Gavin was not his son. This complicated puzzle's pieces didn't seem to fit together. Gavin couldn't be his child.
Why had Satine done that horrid, hateful thing to him in her dressing room? Couldn't she see that fate had brought them together and now fate was tearing them apart? Hardening his heart was hard, so hard...
The next night, Satine was preparing to go onstage when Millie, a small girl who had often helped Satine with her costumes, knocked timidly on the door and handed Satine a huge bunch of red roses. "For you," she said with a small curtsey.
"Thank you, Millie." Satine dismissed the stage maid and searched the bouquet for a note, a card, anything that would lend a clue to the donor. The only sign was a lollipop nestled among the roses.
"Christian." He heard a whisper behind him.
How do you block the sound of a voice you'd know anywhere? Christian thought. He turned and saw her behind him, blue eyes overflowing with tears.
"I got your flowers." Her voice filled the room with its featherlight tone.
With volumes of words passing between their eyes, he left his seat and she flew into his arms. Her hands traveled through his hair and traced the curves of his lips before she laid her own upon them. She kissed him hungrily and he kissed her back ten times more intensely.
She pushed him away, holding his arms and looking deeply into his eyes. "I'm sorry, Christian, so sorry."
He made no reply, just kissed her harder and began to fumble with the laces of her dress.
The room was foggy with the heat of their passion. Satine lay back on the pillows, loving each minute, dizzy with ecstasy and feeling Christian tremble inside of her. Her name on his lips was like music...Satine was aware of nothing but their lovemaking, nothing but the way she felt when she was with him. "Christian..." she moaned, shuddering with orgasm after orgasm. Only he had this affect on her. Only he could make her feel like this.
"The angel opens her eyes...pale blue colored eyes." Christian sang when Satine finally woke. He had been watching her for what seemed like hours, simply watching her sleep. She was beautiful in sleep. Her golden curls were divinely soft and fragrant, spread across her pillow like they were.
The rain was quietly falling outside, the sky grayish and Christian's apartment illuminated with golden lamplight.
Satine smiled and turned on her side to face him. "Good morning." She curled closer to him and sighed in complete bliss. "I haven't felt like this in ages."
They lay silent for a while, listening to the rain pattering on the roof.
"Why did you change your hair?" Christian suddenly asked.
"So I would be less recognizable." She answered. "Why? Don't you like it?"
"I like it red much more."
"I do too."
Christian wanted to ask her who Gavin's father was. He wanted to ask her why she had pretended not to love him. He wanted to ask why she had tricked him into thinking she was dead. He wanted to ask if he was sleeping with a ghost. But he kept quiet.
"It was so the Duke couldn't find me, if, per say, he didn't believe in my death." She continued. "Oh, Christian, I didn't mean to hurt you this way. It was for the best."
She could feel him stiffen and move away from her. When he spoke, his voice was pained. "Do you know the hell I went through, Satine?"
"Christian..." she stroked his face and kissed him lightly, but he turned away.
"Go away, Satine. Go away."
"Christian..."
"I SAID GET OUT!" He roared.
She did so, leaving the bed and hastily throwing on her dress. "Goodbye, Christian."
He said nothing.
She shut the door and tried not to weep as she headed home.
Rain was fitting for her mood. She locked the door to her bedroom, lay on her bed, and sobbed.
"Mummy? Are you in there, Mummy?" Gavin's little voice came from the keyhole. "Can I come in?"
"No." She snapped.
"Mummy, are you all right?"
"Just go away, Gavvie."
"Okay, Mummy." The little boy whimpered.
Now I've made my son think I hate him, Satine raged at herself. I can't go onstage tonight. I cannot. She sighed. I have to put on a smile and pretend everything is just wonderful even though that's just a lie.
There were no lollipops that night. No flowers. Nothing from Christian to signal that he was sorry. Satine blamed herself. If only she hadn't let Harold and Marie talk her into deceiving Christian like that. If only she hadn't been so insensitive. If only...but if onlys were useless now.
He was playing the scene over and over in his head. Why did he have to scream at her that way? It wasn't completely her fault. Stupid judgmental Christian. He kept seeing the little boy's face...how had he not known?
He sat down at his typewriter and began to write. The words hit him like a mallet and he tried not to cry while he wrote.
"Oh no, I see,
I spun a web, it's tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I said,
Oh no what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
I turned to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done.
I never meant to cause you trouble,
And I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
O no, I never meant to do you harm."
He clicked away, thinking all the while of Satine. The most beautiful Diamond Dog of them all...the Sparkling Diamond..."The French are glad to die for love..." The smell of absinthe...her kiss...the Duke...Spectacular Spectacular..."The girls, they call them the diamond dogs..." Images and words of his past life flitted through his subconscious, making him dizzy. He wanted nothing more than to lay down right there and die. Die like Toulouse. Die like the real Satine had died.
Oh no I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here I am in love in a bubble,
Singing, I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Although I never meant to do you harm.
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me."
Christian closed his eyes and, against his will, thought of her.
Chapter 4 (and probably final chapter, too) up soon. Promise.