Title: Sometimes
Author: Quiet as a Ninja
Rating: G
Author's Notes: I don't know when I wrote this or where the idea came from, I just found it amongst my files as I was looking for some angsty Star Wars stuff for a friend to read. I think 50% of my fan fiction is SW stuff, but this is actually one of the first ones I've ever posted. I hope you enjoy it…its short. Warning: This has not been beta'd
Obi-Wan gazed at himself in the mirror. Through the years his young boyish face had worn and faded into the face of an old man. He never thought that training the boy would age him so quickly but it did. Sometimes, late at night when he couldn't sleep he wondered if his master had as much difficulty with him as he had with Anakin. Did Qui-Gon have white hairs before he took Obi-Wan as his padawan learner? Did lines on his forehead grow deeper? Obi-Wan didn't think so, for as long as he could remember Qui-Gon had always had white hairs and frown lines. This often led him to wonder if he were doing a good job with Anakin. The boy exasperated him so much. Sometimes he wouldn't understand the simplest theories. The stuff that Obi-Wan remembered learning when he was nine-years-old were difficult concepts for Anakin. Obi-Wan had to constantly remind himself that the boy had started his training late. Most padawans had been at the temple since they were infants. Anakin began his training as a boy of 10. His exceptional abilities made up for what he was lacking elsewhere, but there were still many trying times. The frustration wasn't only on Obi-Wan's part, Anakin felt it too, he was usually quick to learn but when he got stuck he angered quickly. It was one trait that Obi-Wan was concerned about. The boy was always so angry. Whether it was anger towards the injustices in the galaxy or anger towards other padawans, his emotions were powerful.
But in the end Obi-Wan figured that he had done something right. The council felt that the boy was ready to take the trials. Eight years. His training totalled to eight short years. It took Obi-Wan fifteen years to become a jedi knight. Sometimes Obi-Wan envied Anakin. The force was strong with Obi-Wan, but it was nothing compared to the boy. Along with training to become a Jedi Knight Anakin had also found time for love, something Obi-Wan could never balance with his training. He now found himself a lonely old man, soon to be left to his own devices when Anakin left to travel the galaxy without him. Sometimes, late at night when he couldn't sleep he wondered if his master had been right about the boy. Was he the Chosen One? Should he have listened to the council or was he right in carrying out his master's last wishes? It was the first an only time that Obi-Wan had defied the council. Due to the circumstances that unfolded themselves eight years ago Obi-Wan found himself a Jedi Knight, and a master to his very own Padawan. Before Naboo had a chance to revolve on its axis, Obi-Wan's life had entered a new cycle. One that he had been living and questioning all these years. He knew that he doubted himself too much, he knew that he was too unsure of himself, and that was what told him that something was wrong. As a padawan, he had never second-guessed himself. He was proud, cocky, and confident, but everything changed that day when Qui-Gon died.
At first he thought that he was maturing. He had changed because he had to be an example, he had to ready this boy to become a Jedi, and he had to make Qui-Gon proud of him. He was too late to save his Master's life, but he would continue his legacy by training Anakin. Sometimes, late at night when he couldn't sleep he wondered if he was right in training the boy.