Short note;

the continuation... (finally up...considering I was stupid enough to loose the whole thing...still don't know how I accomplished that...before or it would have been up way before this)...no major warnings except the slight one of 'it might not turn out quite as you expect' (okay...butting out now.)

Part Two:: 'The end'

Obligatory disclaimers; still don't own them...






...everything had been turned upside down.

--------------------------
I want to stop the time from passing by
Wanna close me eyes and feel
your lips touching mine
Baby when you're close to me
I want u more each time…
--------------------------

He'd remembered walking but not quite why or where, because face it after what had happened next everything else had paled in comparison. The only thing he faintly remembered was worrying whether it was going to rain when the sun had suddenly disappeared behind the clouds the day suddenly becoming somewhat dismal as it did realising he hadn't an umbrella if it did. He hadn't thought he would really need one...then again he hadn't been paying much attention to the weather report so he hadn't really known what to expect. The one major thing that stood out about that day was the fact that...

he'd seen her.

He would have recognised her through a raging tornado but he'd actually still doubted what he was seeing and he had no doubt as to the fact that he must have looked like a fish out of water as his mind had gone through an mental argument between two halves of himself on what was real and what couldn't possibly be for what had seemed like minutes but had only been a few seconds in reality.

It had been her…and she was real even if he'd believed at the time he was somehow hallucinating that conclusion having been finally reached more due to the light-headed feeling that had accompanied the image of her just standing there, lounging against the wall simple black shirt over jeans, obviously waiting for someone and he'd later found it had been none other than her twin. Sure he'd realised at that point that it would have been safer to just walk the other way and forget, if he could, having seen her because that would have made things so much easier…but he hadn't. He hadn't been able to because his legs had formed ideas of their own and before he'd known it he'd found himself just feet away from her.

Now his legs had taken it upon themselves to convey him there they'd ignored that tiny fact that he'd no idea of what to say but there was no doubt she'd spotted him... how could she not have, he was standing all of a few steps from her. He was short, not totally invisible even if he'd wished it at that point.She'd just looked at him and he could have sworn that before the apparent indifference there had been just that tiny flash of complete surprise and something else all to brief to fathom. He'd just found something to say when she'd beat him to the punch.

"Well look what just rolled up."

He hadn't been able to figure out if it was sarcasm or whether it was just her own way of saying hello and he'd found himself wondering just how long she'd been around. Near but deciding not to show up. How much of the time he'd spent waiting had she actually been right under his nose?

"h-hi…" was all he'd been able to get out, which thinking back on it now must have seem pretty lame but then it had sufficed "I…I didn't know you were…around."

Her raised brow had seemed to say 'so what'. She'd straightened up her intention being to walk away. He'd known it almost immediately. It had been evident in the slightly uncomfortable glance round that she'd given even before the toneless "I've got to go." And yet she hadn't seemed to have been telling him as much at herself.

It had however caused a mild form of panic within him, he'd been more than convinced that if she had left then then he wouldn't have ever found her again and at that point in time that had seemed like the worst thing that could have happened and so he'd said the first thing that had come to mind

"Don't go…"

If he was to say the truth he hadn't expected her to stop or to even listen to him…why should she really. If she hadn't she would most probably have been doing him a favour because what could he really achieve now. Yet she had stopped. There'd been indecision in those depths of blue no doubt wondering herself if it was wise to stay. She'd then shrugged, a classic 'what-the-hey' kind of shrug and had said

"I'm thirsty and you're paying."

She'd pretty much just chosen the place herself having no desire to move very far from where she'd been waiting walking instead into the bar that had been nearby only sparsely filled and she'd simply walked past him up to the counter sitting down where she had a vantage view of the streets out of the window feet away her gaze flickering over to it fleetingly. She'd then turned to look at him and just that moment...that single moment sufficed to overwhelm him imprinting itself somewhere in the back of his mind. He didn't know what it was about her that had struck him so, whether it was the way the black shirt contrasted with the blonde hair brushing forward slightly against the collar as she'd moved or whether it was the way the almost invisible silver chain glinted as she did visible against the open neck of the shirt a not so discreet three buttons down or had it just been the faint smell of perfume, whatever brand it was it was cruelly more like a potion of entrapment.

He'd looked away quickly realising his gaze could so easily become a stare and noticed that the sun had somehow found its way back out from behind the clouds albeit strength somewhat weak. It couldn't possibly be healthy the amount she drank for the time of day either add he'd doubted he was exaggerating either considering he had a whole empty bottle to prove it as she'd started on the next already halfway through. She might have as well been drinking water than the wine it actually was but it was what she'd asked for.

That was some kind of thirst.

He hadn't been able to quite figure out if it was because she was seemingly deep in thought half the time that she didn't notice how much of it she was drinking or whether it was because to her the thing might well be no more potent than water for she was amazingly able to remain unaffected except for the very faint colouring to her cheeks, the unusually bright look to her eyes. It had been as if all barriers had suddenly fallen slightly to reveal just that tiny bit of the person they sheltered beneath the distant facade. She was more willing to talk just that bit more freely going beyond mere one sentence answers and it was how he'd found what had happened in that time he now called 'the waiting time' and it had been thatit had taken her quite a while to find her twin. Yet after that there question 'what else' seemed to hand in the space afterwards. She couldn't have possibly be searching for him all that time. There just seemed to be a whole more that had happened too that she'd just not been saying. He hadn't asked. Reason deduced it would be like prying into things he hadn't any business with and intuition stated with definiteness that she would have not supplied an answer anyway.

He may have been successfully carrying of a simple enough conversation with her but the attraction was still there smoldering in the backdrop proving it had never left even if he'd decidedly ignored it and now it seemed to goad him, challenge him to try and ignore it now when the object of it was sitting so close. All things considered he felt he'd handled it pretty well even if his concentration had wavered more than once. It had taken just about all he was to stop watching those wine coated lips as they shimmered with each movement that had taken her through speech that normally shouldn't affect anyone so.

It was literally…mesmerising.

It just was.

He'd had to keep looking away more than once every time finding he was staring again. He could have sworn they formed a smile at least once and he'd wished to god he could remember what she had been saying that had brought it forth. She'd then suddenly risen without much of an explanation but simply following her glance glance towards the window he'd found what she'd seen. A certain dark haired youth looking slightly ticked off at not being able to find the object of his searching. He'd looked back at her his intent to say something, exactly what it had been he couldn't remember...yet again...because it had been effectively silenced, and lost, when he'd found her lips over his.

He hadn't seen that coming.

It had been a simple enough kiss but time may have as well stopped then for even if the building had fallen down round his ears, in that haze of emotions and sweet taste of the wine she'd been drinking, just as every bit intoxicating as the kiss itself, he wouldn't have noticed. Absolutely nothing else could've mattered. Treacherously so. It hadn't been anything like the first one, obviously, that had left its after effects for days beyond, no this had been very different. When she'd pulled back she'd simply given a smile reminiscent of the one so long ago, that same devilish and unfair teasing in eyes that seemed to mock him and yet take absolute pleasure in being able to destroy his very ability to function. "Thanks...for the drink." she'd said leaving him in even more of a mess than she had before.

He'd got home later that day wondering what he would say because he'd been more than sure that somehow what he'd done was written across his face and he'd been waiting on tenterhooks expecting that at any moment Marron would say something. Some how she would know or suspect even if it was a crazy thought. She would have properly only suspected anything from his jumpy behavior. His constant drifting off couldn't have helped matters either but she'd seemed just that side of preoccupied and he supposed that had been a good thing.He'd then been assaulted by his daughter who had been more than excited to see him, zooming into his arms with an almost incredible speed, having finally found someone other than her mother to impress with her adventure of the day eyes sparkling with excitement. The little minx had talked non stop and that was good since it stopped him from drifting off again. She'd taken more after Marron than him and he wasn't really complaining…it meant she had the gift of actually possessing a nose and a chance to exceed midget size. However that night he hadn't been able to think of any thing other than Juuhachi even with Marron curled in his arms and he'd had to move away feeling guiltier than he ever had before.

She'd done it again...

..cut a swathe through all sense and reason.

It was easy to guess who and what had plagued his dreams from that night onwards.

-------------------------
And There's nothing I can do
To keep from loving u
There's nothing I can do
I'm helpless in your arms
Baby what you do to me...
There's no turning back this time
----------------------

The second time he had met up with her had been kind of planned. He'd gone out deliberately intending to find her. He'd needed to. There'd been that self distracting prompting…the one where you knew you shouldn't do something, it'shad warning signs emblazoned all over it, but until you did it you would not and could not find peace. After a week of it he was ready to break. He'd been restless all day but Marron had been too busy to notice, she'd being going on about going to visit a friend and she was taking their daughter with her. He'd insisted that he could look after her while Marron went pointing out how much easier it would be for her...

...and it would also keep him there for he wouldn't have thought of leaving the house if he had his daughter to look after.

Marron had simply declined saying she wanted her daughter to meet her friend and she'd promised too. She'd then pointed out that he should be glad for the peace and quiet as she'd gestured to the girl bounding up and down the house radiant in a frilly white dress. She was more than showing the hallmarks of growing up to look like her mother in every possible way and it was more obvious then looking every inch his beautiful little princess. Speaking of which Marron had been looking more than a little breath taking and he'd berated himself for it. He had a wife many would give a limb for and the sweetest little girl. Why couldn't he just be satisfied with that? It hadn't made much sense not to him and he doubted it would have to anyone else either.

He hadn't raised a single complaint after that feeling sufficiently guilty. Hence he hadn't asked to go with her. He hadn't any intention of stopping her from going out to see friend and it seemed he would accomplish that if he kept complaining just because he didn't want to be left at home alone.

Just because he knew that if he was left idle he would go searching.

Besides she'd seemed somewhat cranky and distant all week…looking off into space and sometimes watching him intently when she thought he wasn't watching. In that period of time he'd been sure that she'd known, somehow she had known but it had only his imagination working overtime having found something to feed it.

It had been tugging at him all day and when Marron had left it only intensified and he'd somehow managed to last till early evening and yet Marron hadn't returned. He'd then left deciding to just give in. The idea behind that had been that he wouldn't find her anyway and the flight would clear his mind. When she wanted to stay hidden she could do it without much effort. Having had no idea of where she would be it had simply meant his chances had lain somewhere between zero and impossible. At least that had been the idea in theory. How clever had he thought himself at the time. He hadn't expected to actually find her.

He'd been more sure it was the other way around. She had found him...cause he would have had no chance of finding her...or had she just 'come to him' as opposed to 'finding him' because she would most likely have sensed him coming a mile off.

He'd hadn't even had to say a thing…it was almost like she'd known he would come. It'd been like those déjà vu moments but without actually going through it the first time but feeling like you had so you knew exactly what was going to happen. This time the kiss wasn't as unexpected as it had been in the bar though no less potent. He was unable to remember who'd moved first but it hadn't exactly altered the outcome had it? He supposed they may have both simultaneously moved into each other for all the difference it made. It didn't change the fact that they'd known exactly why the other had been searching and what they suddenly wanted above all else.

In normal circumstances he wouldn't have…he was sure he wouldn't have…it wasn't usual behaviour for anyone but then he hadn't been thinking straight at all. He would actually challenge anyone else to try and actually 'think' in that crazy situation , being unable to separate desire from reason, having gone through what seemed like countless nights in a dream begging to be made real. To look into those eyes and quell the intense emotions they could easily flame to life in the one rare moment that they acquired a fire of their own. Whoever could was a stronger person than he.

That would probably explain their landing nearby, no explanation...no reason that wouldn't sound like he wasn't crazy unless 'a need that threatened to enflame' was a good enough one because it certainly hadn't made much sense to him. It was just inexplicable. Barely a breath passing before they were reaching for each other in an almost desperate need that had been building since the last time they'd met and more probably longer than that. They'd just acted. He doubted thoughts had been involved, certainly not on his part anyway and the only thing he'd been able to focus on besides her was the almost frantic thundering of his heartbeat. The only coherent thought on his mind had been his need to be with her, to be close to her and it didn't matter if that same need engulfed him.

Afterwards he remembered the one thing he hadn't told her yet and should have, ideally, told her before hand. It had been the guilt eating him alive that had driven him to tell her even at the risk of her tearing his head off. It was ultimately a daring crazy thing to do considering she was still in his arms. She'd just have had to move slightly and he would have a knee somewhere he would be very aware of when the pain came.

"I'm married." He'd said death-defyingly after many a stuttered start. She'd just continued looking off at somewhere in particular without so much as a change in her features if you didn't count very slight movement of her brow and the fact that she blinked in that second. He'd only realised later that the look on her face hadn't been 'blank' like he had thought at the time, it had changed just not perceptibly, it had been more of a thoughtful one. The kind of one a person would give when they wanted to look like they weren't thinking where in truth thoughts were tearing through them at a mile a minute and it may have been one of the first times he'd really, truly seen some of what went on behind a face that could tell nothingjust as well as a whole lot.

"I know."

He'd looked confused, he'd known he had. But where was the surprise there? he had been confused and he doubted it was just him not understanding either. He'd been about to ask when she'd seemingly read his mind.

"I found out a long time ago." She'd said simply.

He'd waited. It had then become apparent that she was not going to add anymore to that. To her one-sentence replies may have been enough to cover almost a lifetime but for him it wasn't because it simply sent a whole barrel of more questions racing through his mind.

When exactly had she found out…?

How long was 'a long time ago' ? had she been around to have known...? or...

Had she known before or after the first time they met…?

Had she somehow dropped by without him being the wiser...If she had then when had she...?

He'd learned something there and then and that was never to try speaking while there were a thousand and one questions tearing through the mind. It was impossible to decide which should come out first and it shouldn't then be surprising to find nothing other than barely audible beginnings came out of a mouth that was in no way designed to ask so many questions all at once. Ultimately you'd look a fool.

She'd moved away from him in that space of time obviously not wanting to stay in his arms a minute longer. He couldn't understand it because holding her had finally felt like something really right and it would have taken something stronger than a tornado to have made him let go but she'd found it much easier obviously because she couldn't seemingly get away quick enough. It was almost like she had suddenly regained her senses or something and couldn't believe what she'd just done and suddenly the one thing that had actually made him really truly happy, something he thought he would never look back on in regret even as he realised that he had just cheated on his wife was now like something sordid...something 'wrong' like it never should have been done. The only person that could have made him thing it ever could be that just had...without knowing? he didn't know.

Maybe? hopefully?

But it had still hurt. It was like being...rejected especially when she'd quietly left just after that. He hadn't stopped her, hadn't called out to her to wait because he knew she wouldn't have heard a word of it and not because he'd somehow inexplicably lost his voice either. He'd suddenly he'd felt cold. He hadn't noticed it before but now the evening was cold. Having left she'd everything with her and the warmth wasn't there anymore. She'd taken more than he could've realised then with her when she'd left.

If it had ended then it wouldn't, as many might say, dissolve into the past…become a forgotten thing, heal in time…It would have more probably consumed him instead more so now because if he thought he had it bad before it was even worse now. Just knowing what it could feel like to be with her what it could be like to stay with her and as for feeling guilty about thinking in that way he did. No one could say he didn't if they only felt half of it. Even if Marron hadn't noticed it his daughter had, Marron was too busy going out anyway and theat wasn't anything new really but her mini version was with him almost everyday and it was only inevitable that she ask.

"What's wrong daddy?"

He'd looked up at the worried face peering up at his propped in his distant features miserably propped up in the cradle of his hands. He'd blinked then realising that he'd promised her a ball game and she'd returned from her quest for the ball without him noticing. He'd then shook his head lying through his teeth when he said "Nothing sweetheart" and scooped her up onto his shoulders amidst her squeal of delight as she took it upon herself to give him directions and even though he very well knew the way to the garden he played along enjoying the giggles that filled his ears each time he pretended to loose his way.

It was what he'd wanted and he had it, a family and he loved them but he'd also realised in the same breath that though he knew what he was doing to them wasn't fair he was still condemned to continue wanting the one thing he wasn't allowed to have. He wanted to stop and yet he didn't want toand the part of him that didn't want to stop seemed to be much stronger and no matter how many fancy presents he bought for Marron or how many of her whims he gave into he could never really atone because he knew he was damned to do the same thing again if the opportunity arose.

And it had.

---------------------
Here we are once again
...this time we are only friends
Funny world sometimes lies
Become the game
when love's the prize
And no one knows
what's going on inside
And all the love I feel for you
is something I should hide
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Only this time he couldn't blame it on irrationality…or 'not thinking' because he had been thinking and remarkably clearly too hence the fact that he was here. Having time to reflect…or rather agonize for days gets the things we want straightened out perfectly…and the mind becomes strangely focused…almost meticulous…and he'd wanted her…with every fibre in his being…with every unbearably long day that had passed when he'd thought he wouldn't see her again, more now than it had before because he'd been close to her once before. Heard her breathing and had felt her heartbeat through the warmth of her skin and to ask him to give that up was like asking him to cut of a limb. Yet to tell him to leave his family was something else he couldn't do. For all else he'd done he couldn't do that. Yet where did that leave Juuhachi? The 'bit' on the side? She meant so much more than that and he needed her just as much and either way he looked at it, no matter what angle he came at it, someone was going to be doing a whole lot of hurting.

He felt her pull away from him rising from the bed back to him as she sat there head suddenly sinking into her hands fingers doing a quick swipe through her hair before reaching for her clothes slipping into them silently. He rose mind running through different alternatives…different things to say...and there were so many but most of them would be promises he couldn't keep.

He could tell her not to leave, he could say he would end his marriage, he could say they should just leave together, he could say no one would ever find out but those were silly things that came on a whim things that could only probably be possible in a make belief world. He knew one thing for sure, he couldn't and wouldn't just abandon his family and he wouldn't subjugate Juuhachi to being the second woman in the picture. He watched silently as bit by bit of the recently explored peachy white skin was hidden under each new piece of clothing.

"Juuhachi—" he began not quite knowing what he was going to say but needing to break the silence that was becoming so very uncomfortable. It seemed to spur her into speaking. Almost as if she'd wanted to but had been waiting for something to trigger it and he just had.

"I'm not coming back Krillin."

Silence.

She'd looked at him over her shoulder no doubt due to the fact that he hadn't said a thing and she thought he must have been thinking she didn't mean it but instead she espied something akin to a look of rigid alarm on his face and he looked like he was dying to say something but just not knowing whether to or not. "I'm not doing this anymore…" She paused wondering whether to add 'its no fun anymore' like it didn't really matter either way. It what she would be expected to say wouldn't it? because what she actually wanted to say wasn't really something anyone would expect her to say, she knew she could but she knew she couldn't actually say it out loud. It would be too...too weak...that was it. Weak. What she would have said…what was actually happening...was that she was having pangs of guilt... she knew also what he was going to say and she didn't want it, not to hear it and not to even consider it. Not for him to have to choose. No promises. If the tables where turned she would kill him and the other woman but beyond that it would hurt. Knowing that it begged the question; why had she then allowed the whole thing to start in the beginning.

She'd wanted to...that was that. If she hadn't approached him he may never have found her anyway. She wanted something she took it bugger the consequences. That was who she was ...what had feelings to do with anything.

So...

It meant she was the best one to do this. End something that should never have started in the beginning before it totally spiraled out of control. She should have left well enough alone when she'd found he was married. What she should have done all that time ago was to have walked away like she had been about to and if she'd seen him first she would have been able to like she'd done the other times she had and he hadn't seen her. She'd tried the thinking thing and it was confusing enough when she was thinking about herself and now just that bit too late.

She turned to him, he'd already taken to pulling on his clothes no doubt preparing to stop her if she chose to leave abruptly. "Don't you dare try and stop me…just go back home." She said firmly, the edge to her voice sharper than she'd meant it to be and yet she hadn't expected it to soften so much at the expression that crossed his face. It came out almost pleading, a tone she hadn't intended to use "Just do that one thing."

"I love you…" he said suddenly in a kind of rush before decided to stop him again like she had earlier when she'd cut him down with the harshly spoken 'don't''. He didn't know what that was supposed to accomplish or how it would make any sense of everything. He just knew he didn't want her to think he didn't, he didn't want her to think he could be that callous, he wanted her to know he wouldn't be here if he didn't, he felt he might be in a way apologizing...making an excuse again and one that seemed to go 'I love you so much I couldn't help myself'. Yet somehow it didn't seem sufficient...not by a long shot.

"I know." She said in a tone that seemed to prove she did know but hadn't wanted to actually hear it. It just complicated things and he realised it as soon as he said it but he wouldn't have taken it back even if he could. "I don't want you to leave." he confessed. The same thing he'd wanted to say to stop her from leaving the island.

She leaned forward lips covering his finger sinking into his hair slightly. She pulled back slightly lips mouthing something against his before she pulled away. He stared at her stunned. She rose with her usual smirk, the one that seemed to always border on mockery and had absolutely nothing to do with mirth but more sadistic delight.

Yet it went no where near her eyes.

She left, the door closing slowly behind her and he felt like it had just ended his life.His hand went to his cheek where the drop of salty liquid had fallen his features one of misery but feeling too hallow to find any tears of his own.

---------------------------
When I have you close to me
The feelings so sublime
But there's nothing I can do
to keep from loving you
There's nothing I can do...
Can't keep from loving you.
---------------------------

He couldn't quite remember how he got home, he couldn't think beyond the pain weighing him down even as he realised it was probably for the best...he just wished what was supposed to be good for him didn't hurt so damn much. He wished it didn't just suddenly take the 'oomph' out of life. He wished he didn't have the overwhelming desire to run back and find her even if it took the whole of his life to for the way he was feeling now he wouldn't think twice about it. He couldn't really see himself going back to life without her again, yet he had to and not just because she wouldn't be coming back.

Given time he supposed he would get over it.

That's was reason said. Good old calm and collected reason. Never there when you actually needed it but always there with it's holier than thou speech about what made sense and what should be done with an always confident 'oh don't worry it will turn out okay we'll figure a way out together' when everything had already gone so horribly wrong. Just because it was a better alternative didn't mean it hurt any less and 'getting over it' all over again seemed to stretch out for time immemorial. How on earth was he supposed to forget now?

Try?...that would be easy for anyone to say on the outside looking in. He was lost.

...and strangely enough he didn't want to forget if that was even slightly understandable..

Sure he was going to try. He owed Marron that much, She deserved to have someone who wouldn't leave whenever it suited him, he also owed it to his state of mind.

He entered his home not finding it in it's usual disarray. The one that always signified the end of his daughter's playtime with her having fallen asleep either upstairs or in her 'castle' as she would refer to the space she would have made between two sofas with a blanket draped over the top as a makeshift roof. It tended to drive Marron up the wall sometimes since it meant fixing up the place all over again afterwards.

There wasn't a 'castle'. The place was clean and unusually quiet. No Marron came into the sitting room bright smile on her face as she hurried round picking up the numerous things that constituted 'playtime' pushing back strands of forward falling hair between questions of how he was and where he'd been. Alternatively she would have been curled up in the sofa having fallen asleep over one of those romantic novels she seemed to like so much. The place just seemed...no, not seemed...It was...it was noticably quiet. He sank into the sofa picking up the remote laying almost meticulously placed on the table nearby where he would usually have to search the whole room for it, and began flicking through channels without really seeing any of them. It was just something to do and something he wasn't even paying attention to...the act having become more a habit. He assumed she was out again. She tended to do that a lot recently.

She loved him.

He hadn't expected that. Funnily he'd never actually thought about it...sure he'd wondered somewhere in the most fantastical of dreams but never actually thought of it as being something possible in the cold light of day. It had been like something not even considered because that was the most impossible of all. It was how he was sure she wasn't coming back. It wasn't only because she'd said something she wouldn't say unless she wasn't going to clap eyes on him again but it had been there in the kiss she'd given him. There had been a finality to it. It was distant and yet at the same time not so distant. He rose deciding check if he'd somehow been mistaken and his family were sleeping upstairs.

However he couldn't find anyone. He walked into the sitting room again frowning a little in thought. Just as he was walking in again he found an envelope lying on the table and as he realised he must have walked past it unoticed, no points for the reason why, he picked it up. It had just his name scribbled on the envelope and the writing on the letter inside was Marron's. He recognised it for all the things she'd scribbled around the place not from lists for she was more an impulsive buyer but from other things she wrote like little notes in the books she read and other things she scribbled over the place, funnily enough she doodled a lot. She hadn't bothered starting it with any of the usual greetings and it seemed a scribbled note then than a letter. He should have guessed that really, 'letters' were too formal for her, she preffered calling them notes and they were with the informality in which she wrote them. Only they were usually much shorter than this one being a reminder or something, and certainly not in an envelope. He could tell from the hurried writing that there hadn't been much time, she always preferred presentation than speed. He glanced over it somehow feeling suddenly that what ever it was it couldn't be good. Then his eye caught something and then his gaze instantly zipped back to the begining again to actually begin reading it in full...

--------------------------------------------

I can't stay and say this because I can't wait...I had to leave but I didn't want to face you either...it would have made it too hard. I know you'll be upset and I can't stay and see that. I still do love you don't think I don't, it just means that things are different now.

I guess I should tell you why I'm leaving…(I did mention I was leaving didn't I?) I can't come back. Before you wonder I took our daughter with me…I can't leave her because she's not yours. I suppose I should have said something and I shouldn't have married you either. I rushed into it...I need some one to dote on me, to be with me, I don't know how to be alone, I never have been and I needed someone because being alone is the scariest thing I can think of and I knew you would always be there for me. I suppose I am saying I took it as granted you would welcome me back and it's selfish but it wasn't just because if there was anyone I was left to be with it would be you but because you've always been good to me.

I wouldn't have left it just that I love him and he is the father of my baby...I know he left me to fend for myself but I loved him and I still do. He wants to be with me. Says he can't live without me anymore and he wants to make up for everything. I can't say no, besides it isn't fair on you and it wouldn't have been right to let continue knowing I wanted to be with someone else.

I really do love him and I don't want you think I'll be unhappy, I know you loved me and always did everything you could to make me happy but I won't take advantage of that anymore. I really want to give this a chance and I don't want you to think its your fault because it isn't. I just want this chance because I may never get it again but I did love you. Really. Please try and understand…I'll call...

------------------------------------------

Just as causally she signed it off with a simple scrawl of her name. No hearts or X's that usually accompanied the end of her 'notes' but then if there had been any it would have been like rubbing salt into the wound and strangely enough he was greatful for that as he sank into the sofa for the second time the 'note' in his hand slipping through lax fingers as he simply stared ahead at the flickering images on the television screen.

What was he to do now?. What was he to think?...what to do?...he just felt...numb...

So...if he understood this; his daughter wasn't his daughter and his wife had just waltzed off with her into the blue because she was in love with some one else and had only married him because he was the second best choice. It sounded ironically familiar. Only there was the strange outcome. He hadn't anything left. He hadn't a wife, he hadn't a daughter and he hadn't the woman he really loved.

Laughter filled the room at that point in time coming from the television where a comedian was making an ass of himself for an hysterically laughing audience.

They weren't far off. Strangely enough he wanted to laugh too. It just seemed really funny.

He continued staring at the television screen as another round of laughter filled the room again…he simply sat there staring at the screen still staring even when it dissolved into blurred images that ran into each other an meshed into an array of colours that made no sense whatsoever..

last notes; Okay, finished it. (didn't promise the best of endings) Turned out crap to be frankfully honest. I'm sorry...*sigh* oh well at least I got it up right? got to move on to the next now this is out the way. Must say...if you're here till the end...then I commend you for not running away half way through...one is inclined to ask 'what on earth is this?' and you might have noticed I didn't get this one proof read either. *shakes head*