Author's Note: Same disclaimers as previous chapters. This chapter contains slight spoilers to "The Siege" episode.
Chapter 17
"Jake, what do you think happened to him in Maine?" Alex whispered the question as she followed Donovan with her soft blue doe-eyes and watched as he entered his office in the upstairs of the warehouse they used as their headquarters.
Jake shrugged. "Cody's trying to find out." He sat opposite Alex in the area they usually held their briefings. "All I know is that he's different. And he's sure a helluva lot quieter, if that's possible."
Monica listened to the two undercover agents speculating on their boss' situation. Yes, he had come back different, in the sense that he seemed to be plagued by demons, and his mind was definitely not on his work.
He had been back nearly two weeks, needing to testify at the Petrocelli trial. Monica had watched with surprise when he argued with the District Attorney that his testimony was not needed, that the testimony of his team would be more than adequate for the case, and he had more important business in Maine. The D.A. was not taking any chances with the case against the deputy warden and was not letting Donovan out of it. The inmate's siege of the maximum security prison that Petrocelli had been in charge of was high profile and the D.A. wouldn't take the chance of losing the case.
She smiled inwardly at her two coworkers. Donovan would be slapping mad if he knew they were talking about him. Of course, he left himself open to speculation due to the fact that he would never open up to his crew.
Alex had taken it upon herself to solicit Cody's help in searching into Donovan's past after the death of their former leader, Agent John Keller. She had become irked that her search for information on Donovan had dead-ended with little information, leaving much to their imagination. In time, Alex confessed to Monica that she had realized he was a good man, although he could be a tyrant.
Jake, much as Alex, had learned to accept Donovan as the head of their undercover unit. Cody, who was in charge of, as he put it, "anything that plugged in" continually tried to seek a more personal relationship with him, to no avail. It was Monica's opinion as a profiler, that something in Donovan's past held him back from becoming too involved with the agents in his charge.
"You know," Monica pointed out as she sat down next to Jake, "he'll most likely shoot you if he hears you talking about him." Jake and Alex just grinned.
"Well," Cody chimed in, joining the group at the briefing table, "here's what we've got—"
When all eyes turned to him, he felt important. It was the only time he did feel important, when he was among the team. He always felt he was the least significant, no matter how much he knew he was needed.
"Hello, in there!" Alex broke into his thoughts, waving a hand in front of Cody's boyish face.
"Sorry." He grinned. "Took a small vacation. Anyway, our beloved leader was in the midst of uncovering a drug smuggling operation run by a few crooked cops in the Bangor P.D."
"Yeah...and?" Jake urged.
"And...somehow a woman got hurt in the crossfire. Other than that, I couldn't get diddlysquat out of anyone." Cody threw his hands up at the look of disbelief on his colleagues' faces. "Don't blame me. Those people in Maine are tightlipped, and the newspapers didn't help. They claim everything they know is in the newspaper article."
"And it didn't give any details?" Monica asked, her dark eyes intense.
"Other than the names of the cops, it didn't mention Donovan at all, or how the whole capture went down. Big holes in their story, and lots of 'em." Cody reasoned.
"Damn!" Alex cursed. "I swear he has the uncanny ability to erase everything about his life. It's so very annoying."
A noise from a nearby console took Cody away from the group and he sat in front of the computer. He clicked the mouse over the flashing icon indicating a videophone call was incoming. A very attractive woman, with beautiful long auburn hair appeared on the screen.
He clicked the mute button. "Hey guys, maybe she's the reason boss man has been so moody!" He released the mute button. "Hello?"
"Um, hello." Her eyes searched the area behind the young man that appeared on the video screen.
Cody smiled. She appeared nervous, and she was clearly looking for someone. "Can I help you?" he asked, politely.
"Is a Frank Donovan there? Tom Fallon, the Bangor police Chief gave me this number."
Monica, Alex and Jake all stood nearby, but out of the woman's line of sight. Monica held up a piece of paper. "Her voice sounds frantic...frightened."
"Hold on for a moment, I'll get him." Cody again clicked the mute button. "You guys better disappear, I'll go get the big guy."
Cody took the stairs two at a time and reached Donovan's office in seconds. He rapped on the open door, "You have an urgent vid-call from Maine."
Donovan lifted his head, trying to appear nonchalant, "Who is it?"
"Didn't get her name," Cody shrugged.
"Her? Is she a blonde?" He asked as he got up from his chair.
"No....pretty, though." Cody grinned.
"Oh." Donovan walked past Cody and headed down to the computer.
Cody hung back, watching his boss. His normally straight and squared shoulders were slumped. He looked like a man defeated and Cody wished more than ever that Donovan wasn't such a hard ass and would befriend him. He might not be able to solve Donovan's problems, but he could be a good listener. Maybe someday.
Donovan sat down at the console. "Hello, Misty." He glanced around the room, but his team had managed to make themselves scarce.
"How are you, Frank?"
He shrugged. "How's Caitlin."
Misty frowned. "Frank, so much has happened in the last day."
"Misty, what is it? Damn! I should be there," he uttered, rubbing his hand over his jaw. He called the hospital several times a day, as well as a few of Caitlin's friends, including Misty, but it wasn't the same as being there.
Misty nodded. "You should, you know. But, I'm afraid it wouldn't have made any difference."
"What are you telling me, Misty?" His voice had grown frantic. He could feel a well of hysteria building inside.
"It all happened so fast, Frank. It still feels like a dream...or a nightmare." Misty sobbed into her hands.
"Misty, please!" The dread of not knowing what was happening was almost as bad as the night Caitlin was shot.
"I'm sorry," she said as she wiped her eyes. "Caitlin came out of her coma last night..."
"Thank, God! Jesus, you scared me. I thought you were going to tell me she died." He was overjoyed and was barely aware that a tear slid down his cheek.
"That's not all of it." Misty shook her head. "This is so hard. Why did you have to get so close to her? Why?"
"Dammit, Misty, I don't have to justify my actions with or feelings for Caitlin to you or anyone else. Now tell me what the hell is going on!" He watched Misty's eyes widen at his harsh tone.
"You're wrong there, Mister. Caitlin didn't stand a chance against you, and she lost herself completely to you. And you know what I'm talking about, so don't you deny it." Misty's accusing eyes blazed through the monitor.
"No, I won't, but you're straying from the point of this conversation. How is Caitlin?" He demanded.
"Caitlin is a shell, there's no one there." Misty pointed to her own heart.
"I don't understand." He shook his head; Misty was confusing him to the point of madness.
"If you had been here, you would have seen. It was...just...awful." Misty began crying again. "I was sitting with her when she woke up. It was amazing, really, her eyes just opened like she had been asleep for a few hours. She smiled at me, looked around the room and then it was like reality crashed in on her as the memories flooded back."
Frank nodded. "That would be expected, wouldn't it? So, she remembers what happened that night?" He wondered if she would be angry with him when she realized what she went through in her attempt to save him.
Misty shrugged. "No one knows what she remembers. It was so surreal, her waking up, that is. One second she's smiling, the next...oh my god...the scream. I'll never forget it. And the blood...all that blood."
"What in the hell are you talking about?!" He had come out of the chair, glaring into the monitor.
Misty was beyond sobs, crying audibly, tears streaming down her face. "My God, Frank! She was pregnant! The stress from the coma, or waking up and remembering...I don't know...but it caused a miscarriage. The blood...how she screamed..." Misty's voice trailed.
Stunned, he sat back in the chair and stared blankly into the monitor. "Oh, angel..."
"She knew, Frank, no one told her about the miscarriage. In her heart she knew she lost your child and it broke her." Misty wiped her eyes. "Now, Mr. Donovan, don't you dare tell me it's none of my business."
"Pregnant," he whispered. He had lost his heart to Caitlin, and obviously he had lost his mental capacity as well. He never once thought about protection, and that was not like him. He knew the score; an innocent schoolboy he was not. The point was moot, he told himself, and now Caitlin was suffering more for his indiscretion.
He knew how she loved children, and the loss of a child would be devastating to anyone, him included, but more so for Caitlin. His heart ached from the loss of a child that would never be, but Caitlin's well-being was more important than anything at this time.
"Was she in a lot of pain?"
His voice was barely audible and Misty had to strain to hear him. "I really don't know. She didn't start screaming until she saw the blood soaking the sheets."
He nodded. "And now?"
"And now, she...she's catatonic. She sits and stares, doesn't speak, doesn't move. It's eerie." Misty paused for a moment. "Get back here, Frank."
He merely nodded then terminated the call. He wasn't sure how long he sat there, staring at the blank screen, but he finally spoke. "You can come out now."
To be continued...