Chapter 19
Donovan eased the Blazer to a stop at the end of the driveway and reached over to undo Caitlin's seatbelt. She stared straight ahead and in her line of vision sat the house she adored, but still there was no sign of cognizance.
He sighed heavily as he exited the Blazer and walked to the back of the vehicle and lifted the rear hatch. Dusk was approaching rapidly; he wondered how prepared Chief Fallon kept himself. Donovan wasn't surprised when he found what he was looking for – a Coleman lantern. He grabbed it along with a thin blanket, closed the hatch and went to the passenger door to get Caitlin.
"Come on, angel, time to go," he said, with a cheerfulness he didn't feel as he placed the blanket on Caitlin's lap. He lifted Caitlin easily into his arms, at the same time picked the lantern up that he had placed on the floorboard by her feet. Kicking the door shut, he turned toward the road, looking for the hidden entrance to the secluded spot in the forest that Caitlin held so dear.
"I have to hand it to you," he told her as he crossed the road, "you did a good job hiding that path." He couldn't help but chuckle when it took him a few more moments to locate the wall of vines.
The cover of the trees made the forest appear darker, and he was thankful for the lantern. It would be his luck that he would trip over a protruding root and send Caitlin flying. He wouldn't want to explain that to Misty, remembering the slap she gave him in the hospital that day. He grinned. She sure packed a wallop behind that slap and actually left a bruise on his cheek.
He could hear the sound of a stream, so he knew he was almost upon the spot Caitlin had shown him that fateful day.
He stopped briefly when he came to the large Oak tree they had made love against that day. "I long to feel your love again, angel," he whispered to her.
He moved into the midst of the wildflowers and slowly lowered himself to the ground, cradling Caitlin in his lap; her face lay gently against his chest. He sat the lantern nearby and covered Caitlin's legs with the blanket.
He was at a loss. "I don't know, angel," he confessed as if she was listening intently, "what the hell I expected. Maybe that you would see this place and bang! You'd jump into my arms and be your old self again."
He shook his head. "Yeah, I know," he said, kissing the top of her head, "I'm a fool. But I love you, so I'll try anything."
He plucked a small stem of a white wildflower. "What did you call this? Chokecherry; smells nice." He held it to her nose for a moment before tucking it behind her ear.
"So, here's the thing," he said. "Since I don't know what to do to help you, I think I'll just hold you close and ramble. Let's see, let me tell you about the people in my undercover unit."
"There are two women. Monica Davis is our profiler. She's African-American and so intelligent, sometimes it scares me. Then there's Alex Cross, her ability to disguise herself and blend in with any scenario is uncanny. You'd like them, honey. They are wonderful ladies." He began to rock her in his arms.
"Now, Jake Shaw, he's a tough street kid. He's not a kid; don't get me wrong. When I first met him I thought he was a cocky so-and-so, but he's got a good head on his shoulders." He paused to take a deep breath and look down into Caitlin expressionless face.
"Cody...what can I say, angel. I think you would like Cody the most. If I know you, you would find his wacky sense of humor and extreme bad timing endearing. He does grow on you, that's for sure."
"Cody always wanted to know the man behind the tough exterior I showed, but I'm not sure who that man is. I'm different when I'm with you," he admitted.
"You make me feel alive inside. I know I don't want to lose that feeling," he confessed. He realized sometime during his ramblings he had begun to cry, silent tears that slid unchecked down his cheeks. "But if you would just wake up out of this stupor, and you told me that you blamed me and wanted me out of your life forever...I would go. Even if it meant dying inside, I would do it. I am to blame, you know, not you. That's why you left, isn't it? Because you blame yourself? Well, you're wrong, honey. I'm the one to blame."
Darkness, like the murky ocean water, surrounded Caitlin. She was so tired of struggling, why won't the ocean just swallow her and let her find peace? She tried to remember how she had gotten stranded in the ocean during this storm.
Everything was fuzzy, like she had no memories of her life, only blurry pictures. "Well," she thought, "I must have made it to the surface because I can feel the rain on my face now." She heard a voice in the distance; someone had found her!
Frank thought he was dreaming when he felt Caitlin stir in his arms. She lifted a hand to her face to wipe the tears that had fallen from his cheek to hers.
"No...blame." Her voice was barely a whisper.
"Caitlin?"
Caitlin stared blankly into his eyes and didn't respond. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him and she hadn't really moved or spoke.
"Crying," she said, her eyes still staring into his.
"What?" His heart was beating so hard and his pulse so loud in his ears; he had to strain to hear the slight sound of her voice.
She lifted a hand to his cheek and brushed away his tears. "Why are you crying, Frank?"
"Oh, angel!" He cried as he crushed her to him. "You're back."
"Did I go somewhere? I'm so confused," she said as she struggled to sit upright. Looking around the area. "What are we doing here?"
"I thought it might help bring you around."
She shook her head. "First I went away and then you had to bring me around? Why am I having such a hard time..."
"Caitlin, are you all right?" He asked when her face went pale.
She shook her head and her eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Frank...I just remembered what happened that night. Randy was going to kill you."
"Oh, honey, why did you run out of those trees?" He kissed her eyelids and followed the trail of the tear with his lips.
"I couldn't just stand there and watch him shoot you." The touch of his lips on her skin was comforting and, at the same time, set her emotions on edge. There was something else...
"Angel, I had a vest on, he probably wouldn't have hurt me seriously." He frowned, not sure how much she remembered and if he should even mention what happened in the hospital.
"Oh, guess I should have known that, you being who you are and everything." She smiled. "Did that make sense? My head is so fuzzy."
He laughed. "It made sense enough to me."
"Good," she said, bringing her hands up to her head. "My head hurts." Her eyes grew wide when she felt the bandage and the shaven hair that was beginning to grown back.
Donovan took her hand and held it to his chest. "When you ran of those trees, you took three bullets for me. But don't worry; you're fine. You had a collapsed lung, and quite a nasty wound to your head, but you're making a full recovery."
"If you say so," she smiled.
"Shouldn't I be in the hospital?" She asked, when she remembered where they were. "Don't get me wrong, I love this place, but if I've just been shot..."
"Angel, that was about three weeks ago. You were in a coma until yesterday." Inwardly he cringed wondering if she would remember what sent her into her catatonic trance.
"You're not telling me something, Frank Donovan," she accused. "Something I should know, because it's gnawing at the back of my brain. Something bad, I suspect."
He nodded. "I could lie and tell you no, hoping you wouldn't remember." He saw her eyes darken with anger. "But if you remember on your own, you'll only hate me more because I lied to you."
"Hate you?" She was stunned that he would think she could ever hate him. "My mind is all muddled, but I'm sure I love you."
"And I love you. But when you realize the full extent of what you went through, what you lost in the attempt to save me, I think you will hate me."
Caitlin saw the pain in his eyes, the torment he was going through. Nothing could make her hate this man, what would make him think that? Her head throbbed and it was hard to think straight. "Help me remember, please."
He nodded. His need to help her far outweighed his fear of losing her. "Do you remember waking up in the hospital?" When Caitlin shook her head, he continued, "Misty was with you." He watched Caitlin's eyes fill with recognition.
"I remember now. Misty was sitting in the chair next to my bed. She was reading the newspaper out loud. Then...then..." Caitlin sobbed into her hands and collapsed against Frank's chest.
"Shhhh, it's going to be all right, angel." He ran a soothing hand over her back.
"A baby. I lost a baby," she cried. "Your baby."
Caitlin flung her arms around his neck and Donovan pulled her close. "I know, sweetheart. Your body had been through so much trauma, it was too much for you."
He loosened her grip around his neck to see her face. "Don't leave me again, angel. You went so far away, no one could reach you."
"I'm sorry. It just hurt so much in here," she said as she patted her chest. "My heart ached when I realized what was happening."
"There will be other children," he assured her.
"Will there?" She shook her head.
"Honey, we have our whole lives ahead of us."
"Oh, you do have a way with words, sir." She grinned. "Now, shut up and kiss me."
"Yes, Miss Caitlin!" He laughed then lightly covered her lips with his and kissed her, a sweet, comforting kiss.
"You can do better than that, if I recall." Caitlin's eyes twinkled.
"Well, I'm sure I could, but if I don't call Misty and get you back to the hospital, I'm not sure I'll live to do any better." He reached in his pocket for his cell phone. "Be patient, angel."
To be continued...