A Champions Eyes
[Disclaimer] You know the deal... not mine.
[Summary] (If you can't tell, it's a Cordy POV) Cordelia watches Connor play, and reflects back on Angel.
[A/N] This idea came to me last night, at like 1:00 A.M. and it would not go away! So I had to type it up. I hope you enjoy it. Please send feedback, I'd like to know if my insomnia was worth it!
Four years.
Four years have passed since the miraculous birth of Connor. And now, I sit here, in the garden courtyard of the Hyperion, watching this... miracle... play. When the sun hits his golden blonde hair, he looks like an angel. My guardian angel. He looks at me with his beautiful brown eyes and I can't help but smile. He may have Darla's blonde hair, but his eyes... those deep, soulful, chocolate eyes... those eyes belong to my other angel.
It's been a few years since Angel's been gone, bur not a day goes by where I don't think about him. I know that where ever he is, he is happy. Probably enjoying the same sun beam Connor is enjoying now. When I take Connor out on our nightly walks, I look into the sky, and I know my angel is among the stars, smiling down at me and Connor, waiting for us to be together again. I smile at the thought of Angel wearing a halo and wings. I still remember the day we met in L.A. I was so alone until then. I had always been an outsider--first with my parents, and then with the Scoobies--yet, he took me in when the rest of the world cast me out. When we started working together, there was an obvious awkwardness between us. But as it always does, time pushed the awkwardness away, and pulled me to him. My Angel. In the city of Angels, I had found mine. And to this day, I still thank the Powers for bringing me to him, if only for a few short years. The day Angel left still has an imprint on my heart. A vampire cult, bent on retrieving the Miracle Child, ambushed the Hyperion. With a crossbow to my heart, Angel pushed me out of the way and took the arrow for me. From my place on the floor, I watched Angel's dust settle onto the cool tile. My Angel became a part of the sky that day. But I didn't cry. I couldn't cry. Wes and Fred and Lorne and even Gunn cried. But I couldn't. I felt like a fraud. Like maybe I didn't love him as much as the others did. Days into weeks, and weeks into months, yet I wouldn't let a tear fall. Though my heart ached and my soul begged for my Angel to be with me again, my eyes would not cry. But one beautiful morning, months after I lost him, I sat in the lobby, holding Connor. And then he looked up at me with those eyes, those deep, soulful, chocolate eyes, and in the back of my mind, I saw him. Angel. Holding Connor, and singing to him. Smiling and laughing with pride in his eyes only a father could posses.
And I cried.
I cried for Angel, I cried for Connor, I cried for the memories they would never have. I cried because I knew Angel wouldn't be able to watch Connor take his first step or say his first words. He wouldn't be able to met his first love, or watch his wedding. I cried for me. I cried for the memories we shared, for the moments we wouldn't be together anymore. I cried because he died for me, and I had nothing to give him in return. But mostly, I cried because I never got to say I loved him. I never got to tell him how much he meant to me, or how grateful I was for being with him. I never got to thank him for saving me so many times, from demons, and myself. I never got to tell him how much I would miss him, or how much I needed him to be with me. I never got to say my goodbye. All of the emotions that had swirled in my heart finally filled to overflowing, and the warm, salty liquid fell over my eyelids, and down my cheeks,
And I cried.
But then, I looked down at Connor, the moment I looked into his big, beautiful eyes, I felt better. In that moment, I knew I wasn't alone. I knew that when I sang to Connor, Angel was there. And when I fed him, and took care of him, Angel was there. When I sat in Angel's room, telling stories of the vampire with a soul, my champion was sitting next to me, smiling at us. In that moment my eyes met his, I knew Angel wasn't gone. He would never be gone. He would always be with me. Next to me, IN me. Flowing through my veins, and lurking in my thoughts. As long as the sun rose and set, as long as the stars dazzled the night sky, as long as time moves forwards and the earth spins round... I will have my Angel to guide me.
I smile and look at the young boy who is now in front of me. He smiles at me, an illuminating, beautiful smile, and looks at me with his big, brown eyes.
"Mom." He says to me, "Tell me about Dad again."
I smile again and my eyes lit up. I pull my son into my lap and place a kiss on his head.
"You're father was a wonderful man. A champion. He saved me, Connor. He saved me in so many ways possible. And he loves you. He loves you so very much."
Connor looks up at me and I see Angel in his eyes, those deep, soulful, chocolate eyes. Beautiful eyes that are filled with so much wisdom. Eyes that have seen the world and have so many untold stories to share. Extraordinary eyes that could melt anyone's heart.
I rest my head against his and sigh, for I know my words are doing his eyes no justice. They are more than the bright eyes of a child.
They are the eyes of a champion.