Eleven ~ Forward/Back IV
Another Year Forward…
They were in the bar, during the afternoon shift, the quietest part of the day. Someone had put the vid-cast screen on to fill the long boring hours before the bar started to get busy, but Harper ignored it. He stopped watching the newscasts long ago. It had hurt too much to see yet another Commonwealth territory fall and hear of another Ilittion triumph. There was nothing he or Trance could do.
And right now, his attention was elsewhere…
He was watching Trance, cleaning tables in her teeny tiny dress, her tail slowly moving back and forth in time with the music playing on the old-fashioned jukebox. He thought of nibbling on her beautiful, sensitive up-swept ears, tracing her sweet curves with his fingers and stroking her long silken tail… He thought of human sex and 'Gemini' sex and knew that he was the luckiest bastard in the Galaxies right now.
Trance turned around, giving him an admonishing look. She could read him so well. He winked at her and was rewarded with a faint flush appearing under the purple of her cheeks. She came towards him, under the pretence of giving him a tray of glasses to wash, but he could see by the curling of her tail behind her that she was aroused. He smiled to himself, wondering if they could get away with being 'naughty' again. They were almost caught out the last time. For such a sweet, innocent looking girl, Trance had a very…
Her tail dropped suddenly and the seductive smile was replaced with shock.
"Trance?"
She pointed at the vid-cast behind him and he turned. There on the screen, accepting some sort of accolade, was Tyr Anasazi…
Very much alive…
******
The dreams diminished after time as his sub-conscious learned to ignore the messages that came to him. And eventually he all but forgot about the Gift and the Eternals, with the passing of time and the content, happy lives he and Trance shared, everything that had come before faded into the background.
They had tried to find Tyr after that day in the bar but the Universe was a big place, and finding one ship, one person amid it all was akin to seeking a needle in a haystack…. No, a whole field of haystacks. Eventually, their efforts died down to the occasional burst of energy, but when those were met every time with utter failure to find even a lead or anything positive, they became less and less frequent. Until, finally they stopped.
And with a sense of ugly humour that only the Universe could muster, when they stopped looking, Tyr Anasazi walked into their lives…
******
Two Years Later….
When the Bailey went out of business, they'd wandered for a while, living off the money that they had saved over the years. But when that ran out, they found more bar work on a small moon on the rim of the Tulla systems.
The main town, Hillforth, was large and peopled by mainly human settlers. Trance had stood out like a sore thumb from day one. Harper would have preferred they leave, but, with the wonderful spark and presence that he loved about her, she refused. 'I have just as much right to be here as they do,' she'd said, ignoring the stares and the whispers.
One of the more enterprising bar owners even saw Trance as an interesting way to attract customers and offered them extra money if they worked for him. Trance had accepted, Harper had hated it. 'He just wants everyone starin' at ya.' He had argued. 'They're already staring,' she pointed out, 'we might as well be paid for it.'
So they took the job, but Harper knew they'd be trouble.
And there was….
And he wasn't around to stop it.
******
"Hey. Tail girl!"
Trance jumped at the harsh sound of the drunk's voice as she made her way through the bar. The man staggering towards her was large, his bulk coming mostly from fat rather than muscle. Despite his inebriation, he was still alert and very able to use his size against her if he chose too. She looked around, nervously; hoping someone would help if she needed it.
The rest of the patrons looked away.
Harper hadn't wanted her working this extra shift alone. She wished she'd listened to him. There had been rumours flying around about her and Harper's relationship since they'd arrived and mutterings of disapproval. But like most bigots, they were spineless and preferred to whisper and point, rather than make a stand.
Interspecies relationships were not uncommon, but since few were long lasting they were mainly seen as a joke. The number of differences between two aliens, both cultural and biological, were often to great for any partnership to withstand. At the most, such couples were seen to be just curious, if not a bit kinky. And those that did make it work; their future was not idyllic. Interbreeding was near impossible, and on the rare occasions it had happened the resulting child had either been born dead, died soon after or if they managed to survive to adulthood, they were sickly and barren.
She and Harper had not spoken of the future, he always closed up on her when she brought the subject up, but it was something she wanted to talk about.
Another drunk stumbled over.
"Yeah. Purple thing, keep ta yer own kind!"
"Whatever that is!" The first one replied to much laughter.
A couple of his drunker, nastier friends joined him and they began following Trance around the bar as she worked, flicking at her tail when they got the chance. The bar keep warned them off at first, but since they weren't actually threatening Trance there wasn't much he could do. Besides which, there was only one of him and four of the men and he wasn't a brave man by any means.
"Its disgustin' that's what it is." One man spat.
"Oughta be some law against it." Another agreed and grabbed her tail. She yelled as much from anger as pain when he pulled hard on it.
"Don't touch me!" She cried and tried to push him away.
The first man grabbed her wrists. "Feisty." He leered.
She kicked out, panic rising in her chest and she looked frantically around for help. The old and mainly male crowd watching refused to meet her eyes; they would not offer her any protection.
One of the men slid his hands down her tail, "mmm, can see what he finds in her."
"NO!"
His fingers brushed the sensitive base, near her rear, and she shuddered in disgust, shrinking backwards. His touch…there…had been her species equivalent of a human woman's breasts being fondled against her will.
"Put her down!" The bar keep demanded, as forcefully as he could be, which wasn't much.
"S'only a bitva fun."
"Not to her, now put her DOWN!"
The tallest of the men sent him flying across the bar. The other's laughed.
"Time to share, I think." And they began to drag her towards the back exit. Trance kicked and twisted, but she was only able to break free of one of them at a time, and all four were holding her. She yelled at the patrons in the bar, but they turned away, pretending not to see.
"Please!" She sobbed and felt one of her captors stiffen and fall. Another was grabbed away, and thudded against the wall, blood pouring from his head. The other two let her go and ran.
Someone knelt at her side. "Are you all right?"
She looked up into the face of her saviour, recognising the voice… "TYR!"
And she burst into a stream of fresh tears and buried her face in his chest.
******
Tyr helped her back to the little room she and Harper called home. He took the lock-card from her and let her in. The interior was dark, lit only with candles. A faint odour of cooking hung in the air.
"Seamus?" She called her voice shaky.
Harper came out of the kitchen and saw two shocking things at the same time. The state Trance was in, and Tyr…
But the latter was of little consequence. "Trance!" He pulled her into his embrace, "what-what happened?"
"The-the…" was all she could manage.
"That rabble in the bar, they attacked her." Tyr finished for her, taking a blanket from the sofa and draped it around her shoulders as she sat down.
"Oh my God, they…" Harper quickly checked her over, "they didn't hurt you, did they?"
She shook her head, "no, Tyr…Tyr stopped them."
"I should've been there."
"You couldn't have known."
He looked up, "Tyr…thank…" He held out his hand, "thank you." His tone and his face held the gratitude his words could not portray. "And I can't believe it."
Tyr nodded, his dark eyes unrevealing, but Harper pulled him into a quick hug. Tyr went stiff, then offered a faint half hug of his own.
Harper pulled back and clapped him on the shoulder. "Thank you. If you hadn'ta been there…"
The Nietzschean looked awkward. "Do you have any whiskey? Or tea perhaps? She could use some."
Harper pointed to a cabinet and Tyr went to pour Trance a small measure.
Harper sat beside Trance and pulled her to him. "That's it, we're leavin'."
Trance shook her head, still in shock. "And go where?"
"We'll find something."
"My ship." Tyr said holding out the whiskey. "We can take you wherever you wish to go."
******
The Roark was a beauty. Tyr's Pride had been prosperous in the three years they'd been away. Harper stared open mouthed at the sheer size of the landing bay, dropping their bags down in awe. It was even bigger than the Andromeda.
Tyr's third wife, Rella, stepped forward, warmly. She was tall and statuesque and very, very pregnant.
"Welcome!" She said, "I am honoured to finally meet you."
"Tyr told you about us?" Trance asked.
Her lips twisted, teasingly. "Most fondly."
Harper looked at the Nietzschean, "fondly? Of me? Tyr I didn't know you cared!"
Tyr's sharp response died beneath loud joyous cries.
"Seamus! Trance!"
The pair turned in shock, recognising the voice. "Lauren?"
The doctor flung herself into their arms and hugged tightly. "I couldn't believe it when I heard. But...but…look at ya!" She squeezed even tighter. "I was so worried! I didn't…. I didn't know what to think." Her anger caught up with her joy, "how the hell could you do that?"
"I'm sorry," Harper answered, "it was…it was the only thing we could do."
"And you never thought to send me a message?"
"We'll explain, I promise." Trance told her and hugged her again. When she let go of the doctor, Harper unconsciously took her hand in his. When he saw the flicker in Lauren's eyes, he realised what he had done.
"It's a long story." He told her.
They began walking towards the guest quarters, Lauren firing questions at them at double time. Harper looked at Trance nervously, both unsure just how much they should say. "Actually, we're kinda tired, y'know." Harper said, when they reached their room, "maybe tomorrow, huh?"
Lauren smiled, preparing to leave them. "OK. I just…I just can't believe it."
"Yeah, us too."
A Nietzschean woman came walking towards them with a small child at her side, a toddler with light blonde hair and big eyes.
"Mummy?" The child called.
Lauren met Harper's eyes a moment, then she walked over to the girl and picked her up. She turned back to her friends, "I guess we've both got things to talk about tomorrow. Goodnight."
******
Harper turned his head to Trance. After all the excitement and chatter, the girl had finally fallen asleep. He gently disentangled their limbs and slipped from the bed. He glanced back, afraid she would waken and ask him where he was going, but she continued to sleep. He pulled on his shirt and trousers. He hated having to sneak around, but it was the only way.
He crept out of their quarters and headed towards the lifts. He wasn't sure where Lauren's room was, but he guessed that the community was small enough that he could ask the first person he came across.
And of course, given the anti-Harperness of the Universe right now, he shouldn't have been surprised that it was Tyr.
The Nietzschean frowned, his dark eyes showing disapproval, but his voice was even. "Deck 4, CQ 1486."
He found them easily and, drawing a deep breath touched the chime. Lauren opened the door, she was still dressed despite the late hour and he realised she'd been waiting for him.
"What do you want?" She asked.
Harper sank onto the sofa. "You know."
"Do I?"
"How old is she?" He demanded.
Her eyes were bitter, "how old do you think?" Traces of old pain and anger laced her voice, "she's nearly two and a half."
"Is she…" he took a breath, "…is she mine?"
"SHE is called Charlotte!"
"Lauren…"
"Yes, she's yours."
"Wh…" A thousand questions leapt to mind, but none could get past the lump in the back of his throat and the deep shock that numbed every corner of his soul.
Lauren glared at him, taking his silence for something else. "You can get a gene typing. There's plenty of equipment here, it's a Nietzschean ship."
Harper shook his head. "That's…"
"It's OK. I know it was only the one night, guess I'd wanna bit of proof too."
He got up, "it's not…it's not nessicary. I know you wouldn't lie."
Lauren walked to the window and stared out at the stars. He followed her and came to stand beside her. His mind racing for something to say.
"She looks like ya."
She turned, "yeah, well she acts like you. Course she's got a reason for acting like she's a two-year-old."
"I'm…I'm sorry. For whatever it's worth."
"Sorry?" She yelled, "sorry for what? Running out like that? Not telling me you were going? Or where you were going? Not even having the decency to say goodbye? Or is it sorry that I got pregnant?"
"All of the above. Laurie, I'm not gonna lie to you. This is…this is…a shock…the biggest freakin' shock I ever had and I…" He sighed, "this is not what I wanted. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I didn't know. I woulda been there if I'd've known."
"Yeah, it's easy to say that now."
"Its true!"
"Go back to Trance."
"Laurie…"
"Its late, I'm tired, OK?"
His eyes betrayed his frustration, but he nodded. "Yeah…" And he began towards the door. When he got there, he turned, reluctant to leave. "Can I…can I, y'know, say goodnight to her?"
Something crossed her face. "She's asleep."
"I won't wake her up, I promise. I just…I just wanna look."
She thought for a long moment, then nodded. "OK."
******
Trance paled. "You-you have a child?" The face of the woman she'd only just met flickered in her minds eye. "With her?"
"Charlotte is…was so special. You loved her as much as I did."
******
The little girl slept soundly; unaware she was being watched; unaware of the importance to her of the man watching. She slept in an odd position that only little children can manage to look completely comfortable in. She clutched a thread bare cloth elephant to her chest.
Harper felt sick…no, not sick, something akin to sickness in the way it churned his stomach and squeezed his chest. He could see his mother in the baby, and a little of Siobhan. And so very much of Lauren. This was immortality of a very different kind, but in its own way, just as powerful as the Gift he carried.
And now his Gift had meaning, his immortality given purpose. He would see this child grow.
He reached out to stroke her head. Lauren's hand grabbed his wrist in an instant.
"You'll wake her up!" She hissed angrily.
Her rebuke left him shaky, frightened and his hand fell away from hers.
"I'm…I'm sorry."
Lauren's eyes were cold. "You'd better go."
******
The corridors of the Roark were empty and darkened, and he wandered aimlessly through them. He didn't want to return to the guest quarters and lie next to Trance. It felt…wrong…somehow. Like he'd betrayed her.
He found himself in the Observation room. It was dark and warm, with elegant stone artworks and a variety of potted plants. It stretched back as far as the ship's hull and at the back was an enormous floor to ceiling window to space. He stood in front of it and stared into the black. The stars stared back at him, their tiny lights cruel and ugly, hating him.
He was not alone.
A shadow broke from the wall and came to his side. Tyr offered him an almost smile when he stood by Harper. That was the closest the Nietzschean had to a warm greeting. Beka had had the greatest influence on him.
Beka…
His heart ached. In many ways he had not had the chance to grieve for her. For any of them. There hadn't been the time, back them.
And now…
Now he was empty. Drained. He'd lost so many people he'd loved in his short life; he was starting to get used to it. And that was so…so ugly…
He realised Tyr was waiting for him to speak, so he said the first thing that came into his head.
"I like the plants."
Tyr nodded. "They remind me."
"Of what?" Harper laughed, his anger finding release where it could. "That there other stuff in the Universe other than you Nietzschean's?"
Tyr ignored his sharp tone. "Of the Garden on Andromeda."
Harper reached out and touched one of the bushes; it had been a long time since he'd thought to the Hydroponics Garden. "Hawthorns?" He guessed. "In blossom too." He looked up; "Beka's favourite."
"She gave me that the day I left Andromeda."
"I remember." The scene flickered in his mind's eye. Tyr's stoic goodbyes, Beka's fierce eyes and rigid body at the loss of her lover, knowing it was for the greater good. Freya needed her husband back, and Rosa had needed her father.
At the thought, Harper's lips twisted into a bitter smile. "Me too." He murmured to himself.
Tyr frowned and Harper realised he'd heard him. He looked up.
"Why d'ya ask Laurie to serve her?" He asked. "Not that I ain't grateful."
"We needed a doctor." Tyr answered.
"Not buying it. All those weird Nietzschean doctoring ideas, lettin' the sick die. Can't see Lauren puttin' up with that. You'd've had less trouble with a Nietzschean doc."
"Perhaps. But I respect her skills." His eyes were shadowed, "and she was pregnant. I owed her and Dylan and…you…a dept of gratitude."
Harper felt ice run down his spine at the word 'you.' "Yeah, well, thanks."
"I seem to be making a habit out of saving your women."
A long silence.
"Yeah…" Harper shrugged, "dunno what I'm gonna tell Trance, y'know."
"The truth." Tyr looked him in the eye. "You are the girl's father, aren't you?"
******
Tyr took him to the Infirmary and introduced him to his fourth wife, Brull. A tall, thin woman with large brown eyes and coffee skin.
Harper's jaw dropped at the appearance of yet another wife. "How many of 'em have ya got, anyway?"
"Only four. Brull is my last."
"Only…"
Brull went to a terminal. "Laurie said you would come and left me permission to open her daughter's medical file. Give me your arm."
Harper paused, then held out his arm. He watched the nurse take a sample of blood. She inspected the vial a moment before putting it into a slot on the terminal.
"We already have Charlotte Long's DNA on file. She has excellent genetic potential…for a human."
The computer beeped and announced it was finished typing.
Brull looked at the screen where two helixes turned side by side. Harper leaned over her shoulder and drew a long, steady breath.
And read the words below the helixes.
Genetic parenthood confirmed..
A shiver ran through him, was it sadness? He wondered. Anger? Fear at the pain this would cause Trance?
Even maybe a little…relief?
"Congratulations," Tyr muttered, "it's a girl."
******
Harper was half way up the corridor when Tyr fell into step beside him. "I understand."
"Do you?"
"When I learned of Rosa's existence… I had to make a choice." Tyr sighed, "I did what my upbringing, my…beliefs…told me to do. But I have never forgiven myself for the pain it caused Beka."
Harper opened his mouth to offer him some comfort, but the Nietzschean held a hand up to stall him. "But if had to make that choice, I would do it again."
"I don't wanna make a choice. I can't make a choice."
"Then pray you do not have to."
Harper nodded, turning to go. Tyr spoke again.
"We have the supplies we came for. The ship is leaving and you are welcome to chose any destination you wish to go, however…"
Harper looked at him.
"We are in need of a good engineer."
"Another dept?"
"Perhaps. But the last."
******
She was awake when he returned. Sitting up in the bed, her eyes full of caution. She could read him so well. And those blasted Strings had probably given her a glimpse of what might happen here. One among so very many, did she know which one was the right one?
"I couldn't sleep." He told her, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking off his boots. "Went for a walk. Talked to Tyr. Offered me a job. Engineer."
"So you…you think we should stay?"
"I…I can't leave, Trance." He slipped into the bed beside her, their faces so close he could feel her breath on his skin. "I…"
"Can't?"
He took a breath, "Charlotte."
Confusion appeared in her eyes.
"Laurie's daughter."
"Why-" And then realisation. And that was quickly followed by pain. A deep, longing pain.
"You…You're…"
"It was…it was before we left," the words tumbled from his lips and he wasn't even sure she was hearing him properly. "I'm sorry."
Silence.
"Trance?"
"I need…I need to go for a walk."
******
Trance let her legs carry her; not aware of the direction she walked. She just walked. The corridors of the Roark were empty, and she passed only two crewmen in the hours that she wandered. She guessed that dawn was approaching when the lights throughout the ship brightened and the recycled air felt almost sharper, brighter.
"Trance?"
She turned, feeling a cold shiver run up her back. Lauren stood in the doorway of one of the crew quarters. Probably hers, Trance realised dimly. Why had her feet brought her here?
Lauren's eyes were apologetic, her whole expression one of sorrow. But wariness lingered there too, unsure if Trance knew anything, or what her reaction would be if she did.
"Are you…are you looking for Seamus?"
Trance shook her head, but did not speak.
Lauren closed the gap between them, "if you're looking for me, you found me."
Trance shook her head again.
"Trance?"
But the alien refused to look at her.
"I only just got you're friendship back," she told her quietly, "I don't wanna lose it again. I want everything to be the way it was, on Andromeda. You know? Me and you and Beka… remember how we used to get Rommies' avatar drunk and we'd all sit 'round moaning about the guys? I missed that so much, I missed you so much! But that..." The words tumbled from her mouth, her voice breathless and desperate, "that ended and....and then there was only us, you and me and Harper…but you left!" Anger burned in her eyes. "I hated you for that and then I had Charlotte and I-I stopped… And now there's you and Harper and there's still me… that's all that's left. And I'm not gonna lose that! Not again."
Trance raised her head, and met her eyes. "I don't know what to feel." She whispered.
Lauren's eyes filled with tears and she took Trance's hand in hers. "I wish I could tell you. But I don't know either. But I know…I know there's someone you oughta meet."
******
The little girl was sitting on the floor amid a pile of stuffed animals. She looked up at her mother, a little afraid and wary of the stranger coming into her home.
Lauren knelt down beside her daughter. "This is Trance." She told her.
Trance smiled at the child, who stared back at her with tiny version's of her father's eyes. "Hello."
"Hi."
******
He knew he would find her here. Harper wandered through the Observation room, amidst the many plants. This was what would draw her here. It was almost as if the flora could beckon her.
Just as the stars had pulled him to this place and turned their wrath upon him here.
The room was quiet and dark, his eyes searching for the small purple form of Trance.
But he could see nothing.
"I know you're in here." He called out.
A faint sniffle answered him.
He turned towards the noise. Trance was sitting next to Beka's hawthorn, the faint light reflecting from the tears on her cheeks.
He sat down beside her. She met his eyes, expectantly. "I don't know whata say to you." He admitted, "'cept that I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to apologise for."
"Isn't there?"
Fresh tears spilled from her eyes, "no." She kissed his lips, "I have no right to blame you for what you did before."
He smiled at her, "I…"
She kissed him again to stop the words. However much she wanted to hear them, she didn't want it to be under these circumstances.
"But I'm not going to pretend this doesn't hurt." She added and looked him full in the eyes; "I can't give you children."
"That doesn't matter." Then he realised how that might sound, "I mean, even before I knew. I want you, nothin' else matters."
"I know…"
Silence fell again. And then…
"I met her."
"That's one up on me."
More silence. And then the question burned inside him so badly he had to ask it, even if it caused her pain. "Is she…um, is she…?"
"Nice? Yes." She smiled at him; "she's lovely."
"I wish…"
"I know." She took his hand and pulled him to his feet. "Let's go."
"Trance?"
"She needs you."
******
Harper smiled, "I was never more proud of ya then, y'know?"
******
The door opened in front of Harper and Trance. Lauren stared at them both, obviously searching for something to say. Trance met Harper's eyes, then she looked at Lauren. Her unspoken question, did they want to be alone, hung in the air. Harper took her hand, stopping her from leaving, and Lauren offered her a smile.
She was part of this too. She had to be.
It was awkward; it would probably always be awkward. But this wasn't about them. It was about Charlotte.
The little girl toddled up to them. Harper knelt down, remembering his youngest cousin; Jessica and how important it had been to her to talk on her level instead of being lent over.
"Sweetie, this is Seamus. Mummy told you about him, remember?"
The girl nodded solemnly and Harper wondered if she really did understand. Her future was being made in these moments. And his, and Trance's, even Lauren's.
"Say hello to him," her mother urged.
"Hi."
Harper tried to swallow away the lump in his throat and found he couldn't, "hi, honey."
Forward Another Two Years….
The Roark hurtled through the Stream and deep within its hull, Harper tossed in his bed, his mind trapped in another non-dream. A stronger dream than before, pulling him down, sucking him under a tide of non-thoughts and non-images. He was drowning. His consciousness felt something take his…soul?
Take him…and hold him down, away from his body. Away from the corporeal world.
"The time is now…"
******
"Harper?" Trance shook him, her voice scared at the choking, gasping sound coming from him. "Wake up! Please!"
His body jerked once and he sat up. His mouth fell open and words poured from the gapping orifice. It spoke with a hollow tone, in Harper's own voice, but his mouth, lips and tongue did not move to produce the sounds.
"You are of us, Harper… You are of us, Harper… You are of us, Harper…"
"Seamus?"
His eyes snapped open and she gasped. His pupils were fully dilated and instead of black, they were yellow. He turned to look at her.
"Gemini…" Harper's voice rasped. "Night…must…fall."
Trance screamed.
The Eternals had come for them.