Author's note – I am so sorry for keeping everyone waiting. Hopefully the next part won't take so long.
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Twelve ~ Forward/Back V
Harper…or at least the body that was Harper raised an arm, his hand and fingers dangling down cold and limp. He reached towards her and Trance fought her fear as he touched her cheek.
"Gemini…you served us well. Why do you run from your reward?"
"I don't…I don't want the Night…not yet."
"It will come. Always it comes. You gave the Gift. You accepted the consequences."
"But I…didn't want…to die."
"Do not insult the Light and the Goodness that gave you eternal life by asking more of it!" Anger filled the voice and Harper's fingers tightened on her face. Trance moaned as she felt the tickle of electrical impulses skitter beneath her epidermis. Her skin itched painfully and a raging thirst turned her tongue to stone.
Her eyelids drooped and her head lopped down on her chest only to jerk up again as she fought to stay awake. No… she tried to say, but her mouth refused to work.
Tension suddenly ebbed from her body and she flopped down, her limbs heavy.
And she slept…
******
Brull saw a flicker of movement in the shadows, a sudden dark patch in her peripheral vision. She looked up from the medical scanners, frowning. She scanned the area with her eyes and her breath hitched in surprise when she saw them.
It was the male human. His purple mate slumped unconscious in his arms, her neck was bent backwards and her head hung limply. But what shocked her were Harper's eyes, blank and cold and staring. It was if he were sleepwalking.
An icy fear ran down her back. She had not approved of her husbands' choice to allow these inferior beings to live among them as equals, and she had not even grown to like them as the rest of Tyr's wives had. But she knew the pair of them was in danger.
And what posed a treat to them would also compromise the safety of the Pride.
She touched the comm, "Tyr…"
******
Seamus was aware and not aware. He could feel Trance's unconscious form in his arms but little else. Something, or someone, propelled his feet forward and worked his arms and legs. He was nothing more than a passenger in his own body, along for the ride.
He carried her to the docking bay and watched his fingers key in his release code. The shuttle door accepted his commands and opened. When they were inside, he stared at his hand as it keyed in his access codes. And watched himself as he put Trance in the co-pilot seat. He felt the softness of the pilots' chair beneath his own body as his fingers tapped instructions into the main terminal.
Whatever he was doing, it wasn't just to this shuttle.
It was to the Roark's systems too.
******
Tyr's fingers stabbed at the controls. The internal sensors screamed warnings, the many security devices and failsafes had been breached. They were in the shuttle bay and they were stealing a shuttle.
They were stealing his shuttle!
Another set of alarms sounded and Tyr watched in horror as a cascade of failures spread throughout the bridge, taking out main propulsion but ignoring the environmental, external sensors and weapons. The intent was not to disable the ship completely, just to prevent them from following.
"Tyr!" Lauren ran onto the bridge, still clad in a tiny nightie and her hair mussed from sleep. She stared at him with wide, fearful eyes. "Trance? Seamus?"
"They've taken a shuttle."
"Why?"
Tyr shook his head, "unknown. Brull…" He paused, knowing his wife's dislike of the human's and not trusting her word…not completely.
"Brull what?"
"She thought they looked drugged…or possessed."
"Then why aren't we following?" She demanded, tossing her head towards the viewer and it display of stationary stars.
"We can not. The Roark is paralysed."
"Then we can follow them in the –"
"No. They took the Ayn. None of the other shuttles can match its speed."
"We have to get after them!" She cried, "they could be in danger!"
******
He never knew the exact passage of time or what direction they took. He alternated between long moments of complete lucidity and even longer periods of haze and blackness.
He would learn, much later, that over a month passed and during that time, his body starved.
And Trance slept.
The journey ended in Light. Bright, brilliant light.
A sun? Or a planet in very close orbit?
He did not know. His mind was simply driftwood; there was no conscious thought. There was conceptualising of the Universe as he was seeing it.
There was only the now…
******
"You are Harper?"
His body went limp and he sank to the floor, sick and weak. It was gone. The presence that had guided him…controlled him…was gone.
He could have wept at the loneliness.
He looked up, the action requiring more energy than he thought he had, but he managed it. He was in a large hall, with gently glowing white walls and a huge vaulted ceiling. A tall, thin, yellow-eyed Eternal smiled kindly back. He knelt beside Harper, "welcome."
Harper swallowed and licked his cracked, dry lips. He could speak…he could use his voice…
If only he could remember how.
"I…" he closed his eyes and a wave of nausea gripped him. He had never felt this weak. He could see his own arms; they were nothing more than skinny sticks, worse than they had been during the times of hunger in the camps. But he forced himself to push out one question, one word. "Trance?"
"She is here." The being confirmed and he took Harper's arm to help his to stand.
"Wh…ere?"
"She sleeps."
Harper felt a stab of fear and bit his lip in an effort to concentrate. He had to focus…
"Forgive me," the being smiled, "you have questions and you are not yet able to answer them." His voice was gentle, "let me."
He lay a hand on Harper's cheek, his fingers lightly stroking his temple, making little circles with his fingertips. Warmth spread throughout Harper, like he was laying on the beach on a beautiful summer's day.
There was no need to be upright, no need to look the being in the eyes, for there was no need for such corporeal things.
Who are you? He asked.
You already know. The Gemini has told you of us.
You're an Eternal?
In your tongue, yes.
Just in our tongue?
And in many others, but not all. A name is no simple label, it determines how other's think of you.
Yeah, I'm with ya on that; you try being a Seamus Zelazney for a while.
A trickle of amusement rippled in the air and Harper imagined the being smiling. To some we are the Living Dead, a negative, to other's we are Walking Souls, a positive. We have even been labelled Abominations.
I don't understand.
Again he felt the ripple of amusement, this time coloured with affection. Humans rarely do, you have much to learn.
I don't want too. His voice sounded petulant even to himself.
You have no choice. The Gift is not a gift, it must-
…be served. Yeah, I heard. Trance had told him that. Look, I'm not much into servin'. I didn't ask for this, I didn't want this. You want it back, it yours.
What we want is irrelevant. An Eternal does not have that choice. Or any choice. We ARE…and we will follow where we are asked to go.
******
Charlotte was crying again. Tyr listened to the soft sounds coming from the back of the observation room, and knew it was her. The little girl would always hide there when things went wrong. Tyr was the only person besides her parents and Trance who knew of her hideout. But more than that, he was the only person she permitted to come and sit with her.
He had never known why.
He debated going to her. He knew she'd been scarred by her father's sudden disappearance. It scared her, angered her, disgusted her and tormented her. Why had he left her? What had she done wrong?
And why…why had he stopped loving her?
What was so horrible, so very, very terrible about her that had made her own father leave her behind as if she had never existed and meant nothing?
******
Trance slept. Her body lay on a pallet in a small room at the back of the grand hall. Oolanah had brought him here as he'd asked, propelling his body. Harper was reminded of the tale that his mother would tell him when he was very small, Sleeping Beauty. If he'd had the strength he would have knelt at Trance's side and kissed her cold lips to wake her from her enchanted slumber.
But he could not. He could barely stand. His body screamed for nourishment but the Eternals had not offered him any food, nor had he even seen them eat.
Maybe they didn't need to.
What have you done to her?
She sleeps.
Yeah, I can see that. Why does she sleep? No one's that freakin' tired!
It is the coming of the Night, therefore she sleeps.
Harper felt a cold chill run through him and his face paled, Night?
It comes in the absence of the Gift. We offer it a faster passage…as a thank you for the years of hardship.
Trance's word came back to him. You mean death, don't you? She's dying?
Your limited species can not comprehend the Night, but yes, in your tongue and in your understanding, it is death.
So its, "thank you for the servin', goodbye!"
Harper, the Night is welcome.
Trance spent that last five years not welcoming it or didn't you guys notice?
The Elders are aware of her acts. For once in our history, the Night will be sullied.
Huh?
The Night will be her punishment. We all must bare the shame.
Harper's anger flared, so you're just going to kill her? You should listen to what she has to say! Every one deserves the chance to defend themselves in a court of law, or is justice something that only my "limited species" has?
The being pulled back from Harper's face, severing whatever connection they'd had. Harper felt another wave of overwhelming loneliness at the Eternals absence and he realised just how limited humans really were.
The being straightened up, obviously shocked. "I…I am surprised by your insight."
Harper struggled to speak, but the words did not come out of his cracked dry lips.
"I will seek audience with the Elders."
He hoped his gratitude showed on his face. "Wh…name?"
The being smiled, "I am called Oolanah." And his eyes closed…
******
Trance started in recognition, "Oolanah?"
Faint affection crossed Harper's face, "yeah. And he still of the Gift, last I heard. Still inducting newbies to the cause."
******
Oolanah stood in the Chamber of Thought and felt the peaceful warmth of the Elders surround him. This place did not exist in form, but came instead from the Stings, from the Light cast by a thousand Eternals spread throughout the Universe. It existed inside him, inside Harper, inside all Eternals. This was the Gift, in physical, yet non-physical form.
But it was not empty.
The most revered and ancient of the Eternals resided here and had done so for aeons. And would for many more
The Elders….
Why have you come among us?
Oolanah felt them as yet more warmth. It is the human and the creature we called the Gemini. She has refused the Night.
We are aware of her crimes.
Yes, but if it is a crime, should there not be a trail?
Silence. The warmth rippled and cooled. There is no question of guilt, Oolanah.
No, but we should at least hear her reasons. That we might understand her actions.
Your affection for more limited species is well known.
I…admire their need for growth.
The warmth turned to heat, humid and oppressive. Has Gallu performed the ritual?
No, not yet.
When he has done so, bring them before us and let us hear what they have to say. A pause. But let them know this…. Night shall fall for the Gemini. That is our fate, and we should ask no less of it.
******
Harper watched the being beside him. Oolanah's eyes were fixed, the large yellow pupils dilated to the very edges of his lids. He had pulled himself to Trance's side and was leaning against the pallet she slept on. He had to stay awake for her sake, but his near exhaustion was pulling him down into the black space behind his eyes.
Just as his head lolled down onto his chest in slumber, Oolanah straighten up.
Another being joined them. This Eternal was taller and thinner, with red leathery skin and glosimer webbed "ears" on each side of his head. He had no eye sockets.
"It is time, Harper." This new being said, his voice was like gravel. "Take my hand."
Harper glanced at Oolanah, and he nodded. Harper lifted his bony hand and put it into the tall Eternals. The Eternal stared critically at it.
"Pitiful." He said, "he still listens to the demands of his flesh. You have no need of food, Boy; it is only your limited human form confining your mind."
Harper opened his mouth to retaliate, but his limbs trembled and his eyelids drooped. He did not have the strength.
The being then took Trances hand and began muttering softly. Words of pitch and sound filled the air with static and Harper felt his hair prick up on end. The oxygen around him turned to the consistence of treacle and he found he could barely breathe it. Oddly, he discovered he no longer needed to.
Trance's body stiffened and her hips lifted clean off the bed. In some corner of his minds eye, Harper saw the little sun tattoo on her back ripple and melt, disappearing and its energy flowed out of her hand into the being.
And then into Harper.
It crawled and trickled through him like white-hot needles, and burst like a flower bud blooming onto the flesh of his neck.
Black and ornate and faintly Celtic…like he was.
The pain was raw fire and he writhed in its grip.
Moments passed and the pain ebbed. He reached up with his free hand to touch it and stopped when he saw his hand. He checked his arms and then the rest of his body. He was no longer starved. The skin was smooth and muscular again, instead of skin and bone.
Terror shot through him at a thought, and he turned to Trance. Hot bitter anger hit him at the sight of her, and not a little guilt.
The purple alien's eyes fluttered and opened in her now thin and sallow face. She was as he had been, thin and dehydrated, on the brink of starvation.
******
Trance struggled to regain consciousness. She could hear Harper's voice, muffled and full of echoes, but she recognised it. She felt as though a hundred years had passed since she'd held him in her arms…touched him…talked with him. Fear trickled through her at the thought.
Another person's sense rippled behind Harper's, stronger and brighter and full of glorious colour, which made his human essence seem almost monochrome in comparison.
Dread coiled in her stomach as she recognised it.
The Eternals….
She was Home at last.
******
Harper knelt at her side; twin tracks of moisture dried cold on his cheeks. The last vestiges of his humanity was making itself felt. Trance smiled up at him and held out her hand. He took her thin, withered fingers and interlaced them with his own and brought them to his lips.
Her mouth curled up into a sleepy smile at the kiss.
"Wh…what…." Her voice cracked, and she forced herself to take a breath, "what time is it?"
Harper frowned, confused by her question.
But Oolanah lay a hand on his shoulder and smiled at Trance. "It is still Day."
Harper felt a shiver run through him.
"The Elders wish to speak to you."
"Who the hell are the Elders?"
Sound and light enveloped him and he realised he was about to find out.
"Oh crap!"
******
Harper jumped as world tilted. His eardrums itched at the sounds that came to him unnaturally, not through the ears or through the mind, but from reality itself. The Strings vibrated to the sound.
The Strings….?
But he couldn't see them, could he?
He turned to look at Trance and drew a sharp breath. Her skin was bright and clean, her form was once again slim and fit. But he knew this was not real. This was an illusion.
And he was way out of his depth.
"Trance?"
Oolanah shook his head; "she will not hear you. We are only spectators here."
******
Gemini…you walk among us mortal. It dishonours us as you have dishonoured the Night.
I beg your forgiveness! Trance cried, unsurprised by the suddenness. She had known this moment would come from the second she had given Harper the Gift.
Our forgiveness is always. And complete. But time cannot be undone. You are mortal, and another carries your Gift. A creature that cannot possibly understand what he has been given. You dishonoured him, by keeping from the path he should have taken. Five of his orbital cycles have passed, a long time for a human. If he were here, he would have been instructed. Now that chance is lost.
He can still learn.
Perhaps. No Homo sapien has ever carried the Gift. They are simple creatures, blind to the Strings, blind to the nature of existence. And yet you pleaded his worth, and we trusted you. But you cannot think him worthy if you kept him from us.
I…It wasn't… How could she explain? Simple corporeal feelings had no basis here. I was afraid.
Of us? We would have, and do, welcome Harper.
Of the Night.
The Night is our gift to you. There is no need to be afraid of it.
I didn't want to leave this life…this String. Not when I have so much to live for.
We do not understand.
I wanted to live to be with Harper. Silence filled the Chamber and the static feel of the space cooled and twisted. The Night would bring an end to my corporeal existence. We would…be parted.
As the human's death would have parted you? It was not a question.
Trance felt ice run through her veins and knew her answer, the only answer she could truthfully give, would condemn her. Yes.
Then you admit you gave him the Gift out of selfishness. Heat accompanied the anger. Perhaps they did understand after all.
No…I… Her voice was small, unsure. It wasn't that way….not…really….
We will listen.
Harper is a good man. He didn't deserve to die! He wouldn't have died if I'd told him what I was! He gave his life to save mine… I had to repay that! I couldn't just watch and do nothing!
That is sometimes what we are asked to do. And it is what you should have done. You betrayed everything the Gift stands for!
All my life, since I was given the Gift, I've done everything that was asked of me! I've never wanted anything for myself…but I wanted this!
Why? What is so special about this human?
I don't know, but he is! And he will serve the Gift; he will follow you.
******
"I will?" Harper laughed.
"You will." Oolanah confirmed, tonelessly. "That is beyond question."
******
That is beyond question, but is he worthy?
Trance felt tears run down her face; crying more from anger and frustration rather than sorrow. He is worthy!
You have no objective! The Elders raged, you have seen the Strings this one will birth?
Trance looked down, ashamed. She had glimpsed the possibilities in those long moments in the pod after she had given him the Gift. What she had seen had scared her and she had purposely chosen not to look again.
We have looked and there are many that are dark. We have looked into his past. He was born into darkness, he will only know sorrow. That is his worth. And it is not enough to be of the Gift.
Why not? She demanded, knowing her time was limited. There was nothing she could do to change either her future or her past. He has a good heart. Isn't that worth enough?
No, it is not. But the heat in the Chamber had faded and cooled, but what is done is done. Had you and Harper come to us in the beginning, as is our custom, we may have spared you the Night. That would have been our gift. But now… Betrayal holds a heavy price. You accepted that when you began down this path, we cannot alter that now.
I know.
The Night shall offer you comfort. We….are sorry, Gemini.
I know that too. She whispered.
******
Terror flashed through Harper, "wait. You can't! Oolanah, tell them I wanna speak!"
Reality crashed back in and Harper gasped, choking like a drowning man trying to gulp air. He fell back, arms flailing for something to grab on to. "What the-"
"You will learn to anticipate the shifts in the Strings." Oolanah smiled as he helped him up.
Trance got up from the pallet weakly, "Sha…"
Harper was at her side in an instant, "I'm here." He murmured, taking her hand to steady her.
She smiled at their intertwined fingers and her cracked, parched lips parted to speak but no sound came out.
"She needs water," Harper said, "and food."
Oolanah shook his head; "we have none."
"But she'll die!"
"Nothing will stop that now. The Day darkens."
Panic built in his chest, "darkens? Y'mean, this Night thing?"
"Yes."
"Lemme speak to 'em. They can't do this! I won't do any servin' if they do this!"
"They have judged." Oolanah replied. "The Night should have come for Trance a long time ago. Her love may blind her at this moment in time, but truly, all Eternals come to welcome it."
******
Harper looked away, "and we do, don't we?"
Her eyes were hooded, full of sorrow. "Yes."
******
"I don't. And neither does Trance."
"You will understand one day." He lay a hand on Harper's arm. "When the years have turned to centuries and you wait for the One who is worthy to carry your Gift. And when at last they come and it is given, your mortal life is isolated, cut off from purpose. You have to relearn how to live as a mortal, hollow and useless. So the Night was created, so that we could join the Strings without pain and incident. It smoothes the passage to mortal death."
"The hell it does!" Harper grabbed Oolanah by the neck. "Make them save her!"
"It is over."
"NO!" He stared upward; directing his anger at the glowing ceiling, hoping the Elders could hear him. His grip tightened around the beings neck. "Stop the Night or I'll kill him!"
Then the futility of that threat struck him.
His hands loosened and fell to his side.
A sob choked out and he tumbled to his knees, tears streaking down his cheeks. He looked up at Oolanah, "please." He begged softly, "please make it stop."
The being's face was full of compassion. "I am sorry."
Trance weakly moved to his side and wiped the tears away. Her thin, wasted fingers brushing lightly against his skin. She took his hand, her head moving back and forth slowly. "It…not…'portant."
"Trance, I'm not gonna still back and watch you die either!" He was caught between anger and despair. "I can't!" He looked up again. "Stop this, you bastards! You want me to serve ya? Make her live!"
Her hand stroked the tattoo upon his neck, her touch admiring of its beauty. "Seamus…"
But he ignored her and continued pleading. "You want me to beg? I'll beg! Show me how to give her the Gift!" He turned, "Oolanah, help me!"
Trance shook him gently. "Don't do this. It's over."
"No…"
"See the light?" She asked and he nodded, "it's fading. That is the Night, there's no going back and I…I don't want you seeing me this way."
He stroked her hair. "I'm not goin' anywhere."
A smile touched her lips.
He looked into her eyes, and saw in their depths everything he felt for her reflected back. She was so beautiful, even now, marred by the ravages of hunger and the first signs of the Night.
There was something she had to know. Something he had long felt but never uttered.
"I love you." He whispered.
Tears cascaded down her cheeks at the words she had so long waited to hear. He wrapped her in his embrace and felt her head lay against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. They stayed that way for a long while until Harper's voice broke the silence.
"How long?"
Trance pressed in closer, touching her face. Harper looked down and saw fine lines had formed around her shadowed eyes. She was ageing. And quickly.
She pulled back. There was no fear in her eyes, just bitter acceptance. "Not….enough."
"Forever isn't long enough." He kissed her dry lips, "not for you."
This was what she had felt on the pod, watching his life signs fail. He knew the terror and the helplessness she must have felt. He could understand her actions now; he would do anything, at any cost, just so that she could live.
"I'm not afraid." She whispered.
A chuckle escaped. "That's 'cos I'm doin' enough for both of us."
She ran her fingers through his hair, memorising every detail, every line and freckle. Imprinting it into her mind so that she would never lose it, even amidst the Night.
"Y'know…ya once told me the Night was a gift." There was no anger. Just hurt and confusion. He had to know.
"It is."
"Death ain't a gift, Trance. This don't feel much like one."
"Not now. But it was. It would have been." She touched his lips, tracing their outline with her fingertip. "The Elders were right. I did betray the edicts of the Gift when I gave it to you. And now the Night becomes my punishment, when I have so much to live for."
Her finger moved up and traced the frown of confusion that appeared on his forehead at her words.
"You." She said.
******
Neither notices that Oolanah had left them. The room's glow was dim and pale. Night was falling… They lay together on the pallet, spent. Trance had only asked one thing of him: to make love to her once more. He did so slowly, gently, making this one act last a lifetime.
Even if that lifetime was forever…
Her skin wrinkled and her beautiful blonde hair turned dry and thin. Mottled marks of age marred her forehead; her ears became limp and pale. Only her eyes sparkled with the life her body could no longer sustain.
Harper wondered how many years she would have lived for if the Eternals had not brought about the Night. How many wonderful memories they would have shared…
He smiled at the memories they already had… thousands of them. Tears pricked his eyes; they were not enough. They would never be enough.
"Do you remember when we first met?"
"Yeah," Trance laughed. His younger voice coming back to her so clearly it was as if he was speaking right now. "Whoa, purple!" A smile touched her lips.
"I thought you were sucha bubblehead. Purple sparkly bubblehead with a tail at the back. But then we gotta be friends and…" a blush crept across his cheeks, "I guess…guess I started thinkin' of you the same way only without the bubblehead bit. Y'know, when I had that stuff in my brain, the library files? Had this one bit from Walter Pater that kinda stuck in there even after I dumped it." Something crossed her face as he quoted, "'She is older than the rocks among which she sits; like a vampire, she has been dead many times, and learned the secrets of the grave; and has been a diver in deep seas, and keeps their fallen day about her.' Felt like he was talkin' about you, y'know."
A smile lit her ageing face. "I knew the moment we met you'd say that to me one day. I could hear it through the Strings." Her voice hitched, "I never knew it would be now…like this."
The room around them was dark now. The glowing of the walls had faded almost to non-existence as the Night progressed. There was barely enough light to see.
"I love you." He whispered.
But she did not answer.
When he looked down, he saw that she was dead…
******
Present Day…
Harper slumped down to the floor of his cell, breathing rapidly. His eyes shone brightly with tears he'd long forgotten how to shed.
"You looked so peaceful." He murmured, staring at his hands, remembering the feel of her cold flesh when he'd held her for the hours following her passing. "Coupla centuries later…I envied you." He met her eyes, "then I started resenting you for that peace."
Trance reached out to hold him, and stopped a millimetre from the force grid. But that was not the reason for her hesitation. It was the bitter anger filling his face.
"I want the Night…I want…peace." His voice grew harsh; "we have to change it."
"You know what you're asking me? That would violate everything I've ever believed in."
"I know."
"You know what the punishment will be."
"Yes. But while you carry the Gift, you will serve them. And you're the only one who can help Dylan, steer his destiny and now…now you know what went wrong. You can change it. The commonwealth won't fall again."
"Are you asking me to save the Universe…or just you?"
Harper met her eyes. "Neither, both. I dunno…but…. but that kid up on the med deck. He doesn't deserve this. Or Dylan, or you, Beka, Laurie…"
"I know that. He, you…. But it's not my place to make those judgements. Not on who…who gets to suffer and who doesn't."
"Isn't that what you're gonna do on that pod a few years from now?"
"That's not fair!"
"Neither's our future. And I dunno about you, Trance, but I gotta take this chance to make it fair!"
She turned away. Did he know how hard it was to turn your back on your belief…just for one man?
"Then don't change it," he shrugged, bitterly, "just promise me you will never gimme the Gift?"
"That is still a change. One difference or a thousand, the result is still change."
"So it's all or nothing, then." His voice was empty, "what'll it be, Trance?"