QUESTION: I asked this last time but didn't get a very good response.
What
do you people think about alternate
endings so that you can pick
the ending that suits you best?
I ask this because I have several
endings in mind but can't choose one.
Please either give me
your opinion in a review or e-mail me
at:
Jakiemarie@hotmail.com
Chapter Four:
The night was quiet and the moon was full.
Under the cover of the night and his warder's cloak, Lan left his room
and started down the hall. He was careful to avoid the servants who
were still out and the occasional guardsman. Finally he reached his
destination. Nyneave's room.
The door was unlocked and he slipped right in. The room
was very dark. The only light came from two candles on a table next
to the sleeping healer. Lan didn't know her name, nor did he care.
His only care was his love in the next room, dying and alone.
It had taken what seemed years, but was in
reality no more than a few hours for his grief to subside enough to allow
rational thoughts to start forming. He had to see her. Every
part of him screamed out to see her, to prove to himself that it wasn't
true. That she would get better. But how? his mind had asked.
She was guarded all day and all night.
Then it had come to him. There was only
one person with her at night, and that was the healer. The healer
was undoubtedly tired and must be asleep. If he wore his cloak, and
was careful, the few people out in the hall wouldn't notice him.
All he had to do was slip into the shadows when they came near and not
move. He hadn't been able to get past getting into her room.
He was too sick at heart and too dazed by grief to think that far in advance.
Now that he was here, he realized that he
didn't know what room she was in. Silently, but with rising urgency,
he began opening the several doors that branched off from the main anteroom.
After a few minutes of search, he found it. Entering the room, he
closed the door silently behind him. The window in her room was closed
but the shades were pulled back and moonlight streamed into the room.
And onto the bed where Nyneave lay.
He had to hold in a violent gasp at the sight
of her. She lay there so weak, so pale and so still. So still
that for one heart-stopping moment he feared that he was too late.
But then she uttered a soft whimper of pain. He let out he breath
he didn't know he'd held in relief, then instantly felt guilty at being
relived that she was in pain. Slowly he walked over to the side of
the bed and fell to his knees beside her. He looked at her for a
moment before he began to talk.
"I'm so sorry my love. If I had just
come to you when I had the chance, the first time that Egewene found me,
you'd be alright. But I was to bloody stupid. I couldn't see
past my own grief, my loss. Moiraine and her safety had been my life
for over twenty years. When I felt the bond snap I lost my wits.
I wanted to die. I still do. But when it happened, the need
to die was so strong that I was sure I'd never make it to Myrelle.
I wanted to die knowing that you wouldn't be hurt. Even if I lived,
I knew the methods the Green sisters use. I-I thought that maybe
if I'd told you to find another man, that maybe I could die with a clear
conscience.
It didn't work. On my way to Myrelle,
I kept finding chance after chance to die, but my bond with her gave me
enough control not to seek death. I simply didn't avoid danger.
I saw lots of something else on that trip. I saw love.
Every time that I was in a village or town,
everywhere I looked I saw people in love. Doing the things that we
used to do. I saw a young couple having a picnic lunch on a river
bank like we did beside that stream in Falme. In a city I saw a couple
walking around the market place. In the commonrooms of inns I seemed
to be surrounded by couples eating dinner together, I saw them dancing.
All I could do was sit there and remember those days in Tear. We
were so happy there. Even seeing people fight with their spouses
brought back memories. I kept thinking back to that last night in
Falme, that big fight that we had."
He had to stop for a moment as he was overwhelmed
with the memories. He spent a few minutes kneeling by her side, his
head bowed. She hadn't moved or stirred since that whimper when he
first entered. Lan wasn't sure whether this was a good or bad sign.
With a shuddering breath, he continued.
"And later, in Myrelle's camp, all I could
think of was you and Moiraine. I wanted to see you again. I
wanted to know if you still loved me. I wondered if you had gotten
my message. I wasn't sure which would be worse. To spend the
remainder of my life wondering if you still loved me or whether you had
found comfort in the arms of another man. Just the thought of you
with another man drove me mad with jealousy and pain. But I wasn't
sure if knowing would make me feel better. At least that way, I could
hope and I could dream.
Believe me, I dreamed. Every night I
dreamed of you. There were three dreams that I dreamed over and over.
Every time the circumstances were different, but the result, the theme
was always the same. I had one of them a night. I still can't
decide which one was worse. They all hurt me.
In the first dream I would always find you in the
arms of another man. The man and I would fight over you. When the
fight was over, it didn't matter who had won -though in my dreams it was
usually me- you would run to him. You would turn your back to me
and help him up. I never saw his face. It was always blurred.
The second dream was much like the first.
Only, I could tell that you didn't want to be in that man's arms.
I knew you were fighting him. We would fight for you and I would
win. Then you would run to me, but I always woke up before you reached
me.
The third dream was different. You were
by yourself. Usually you were on a hill. I would come to you
and you would smile and hold out your arms. We would stay there,
just holding each other. No one ever spoke.
I don't know what is worse. Seeing you
with another man, loving you and being loved by you but not able to touch
you, or to spend the night with you in my arms only to awake to find you
gone. I love you. I always have. I always will.
If I have to sneak into see you, then so be it."
With that, he stood up and bent down over
her. He smoothed some hair from her face with gentle fingers.
He then closed his eyes and kissed her forehead. "I love you, now and forever.
No matter what happens, I will always love you." She sighed and Lan
closed his eyes, trying to capture the moment.
Lan's eyes snapped open as he felt someone
looking at him.
So, how was it? Let me know about the alternate endings
please. Please review.