Chapter 5a.
Lan looked down at Nyneave to see her looking up
at him. Her face was painfully neutral. He couldn't tell how
much she had heard. He waited for her to make the first move.
It would be too dangerous to try to guess her mood.
She just looked at him for a moment. Her eyes
were haggard and quiet. The fire that he had always seen in her eyes
was little more then embers. After a few moments of silence, she looked
pointedly at a chair on the other side of the room. He got the message.
He brought the chair over to the side of the bed. She motioned for
him to set down.
"Why are you here you? Didn't you get my message?"
Her voice was soft and quiet. In the back of his mind, a little voice
whispered, weak. He pushed that thought away.
"I got your message. But I had to see you."
He made his tone match hers. He didn't want to awaken the healer.
This was too important for an interruption.
"Why?" Lan nearly cried at the tone of her
voice. It was full of pain and suffering. Pain and suffering
he had caused.
"Because I love you."
Her tone was wry and ironic, " Not enough apparently."
He froze. Just what was that supposed to mean?
He loved her more then words could say. If she died, he would follow
her in to the grave. He told her that. But she just shook her
head weakly.
"No, you don't love me as much as you think you
do. If you did, I wouldn't have been second in your thoughts.
You always pushed me away. Always told me to find someone else.
No, don't interrupt. You did and you know it. That last message,
it was the last straw. You only think you love me."
Lan just sat there. He had made a terrible
mistake. A lot of mistakes. How could he make them up to her?
How could he earn her forgiveness? What could he say?
"Nyneave, I have made mistakes. I have made
a lot of them. I shouldn't even have the nerve to speak to you after
all I've done, I have to say this. I love you. I don't just
think I love you, I love you, cherish you, adore you, and -if you'll let
me- I'll spend the rest of my life with you."
Nyneave just shook her head again. "Lan, this
is all very sweet, but have you ever considered the fact that I might not
love you any more?"
Lan felt a hand clench around his heart. He
couldn't believe what she had just said. No matter what had happened
she had always believed in their love. It was a constant in his life,
her belief in their love. He couldn't fathom life without her.
He didn't want to. Life without her wouldn't be life.
"No, I haven't." Her eyebrows quirked up at
that. "I refuse to. I will spend the rest of eternity making
you love me again. I will not let you go this time. I won't.
I have wasted enough of our time together."
"You think you could make me love you?"
That was it. His nerves snapped. He
couldn't bear to hear her talking like this.
"Nyneave, unless you look me in the eyes and say
you love me, I swear that I'll, that I'll, that I'll carry you to the nearest
wise woman and make them marry us. At sword point if I have to!"
She was quiet at that. Then she looked him
in the eyes. "Do you really mean that? Do you feel that strongly
about it?" At his emphatic nod, she smiled. The first smile
he had seen from her is oh so long. "Then you had better start carrying
away!"
At first he was crushed. He heard her words
and felt his heart break. Then he looked in her eyes. They
held that old fire and spirit. And love. They held love.
He let out a cry of joy and threw himself at her.
They hugged each other until the sun came up.
When there was light enough to write by, Lan wrote the others a note using
the paper and pen in her desk, telling them they would be back around noon.
He then picked her up, and true to his word, carried her to the nearest
wise woman. They were married by the light of dawn, but unlike the
light, their love would never dim.
The end of Ending 1! What'cha think?
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