Ending C
Lan looked down at Nyneave. Her eyes
were open and she was looking at him. There was a pained look in
her eyes. But he couldn't tell if the pain was physical or emotional.
She attempted to sit up. Attempted. She was barely able to
sit up. He rushed forward to ease her back down. Only to have
her jerk away from him as hard as her condition allowed. Slowly,
painstakingly, she raised her self up a little bit at a time. Only
when she was finally resting against the headboard did Lan move away from
her.
He sat down on the bed, despite her pointed glances
at the chair on the other side of the room.
"How much did you hear?"
"You mean when did I wake up?" He nodded.
"When you first started talking. I wasn't asleep very deep." Her
voice was weak and raspy. He held her eyes with his. She hadn't given
any indication of how she felt about him.
"Can you ever forgive me? I love you
so much. I never meant to hurt you." She sighed, a deep, bone
weary sigh that reinforced her condition to Lan.
"Lan I forgave you months ago." He felt
his heart soar at her words. She had forgiven him, she might even
still love him. "But, Lan I don't trust you." The bloom of
hope in his soul died at her words. Love couldn't exist without trust.
"How can I make it up to you? What do
I need to do to prove to you how I feel." He said as his eyes searched
her face rapidly, hoping for some clue, some indication of exactly where
he stood with her.
"I don't know. I can't tell you that
sort of thing. I can't tell you how to earn my trust any more then
I can tell you how to breathe. You simply have figure it out on your
own."
"But if I earned your trust again. If
I could prove to you that I am here to stay this time, could you learn
to love me again.?" She gave him a bittersweet smile.
"Who said anything about learn again?
I still love you Lan, and I always will. But I'm afraid that you
will leave me again. Just like you always have. Lan, I'm afraid
of you."
She was afraid of him. She was afraid
of him. Lan just sat there as the knowledge washed over him in a
wave of horror. He had hurt her so badly that she was afraid of him.
The Light burn his soul for frightening her.
He forgot all about abiding by her wishes.
He caught her up in a fierce hug, rocking her back and forth. At
first she tried to get away, but he ignored her efforts. He needed
her in his arms, and he suspected that she needed to be held. So
he held her and whispered into her ears.
He never could remember just what he whispered to
her. Maybe he whispered pleas of forgiveness. Perhaps he begged
her never to fear him. Perhaps he whispered words of love.
And maybe, he whispered a combination of them all. He just knew that
soon, she stopped struggling and started to hug him back. Dawn found
them sitting on her bed, holding onto each other. Doing nothing else
but hold eachother, both truly happy for the first time in a long time.
And then she started coughing. Not just little
coughs, but deep, hacking coughs. Lan looked on in fear as the healer
tended her. He held her hand for the next three days as she slept,
growing steadily worse. He never left her side, even after the others
tried to forcibly get him out of the room.
But after days without sleep, he finally succumbed
to exhaustion. He fell asleep on his knees beside her bed, with his
head near her hand. A gentle movement in his hair woke him up.
Nyneave was running her hands through his hair! He sat up and put
a hand on her forehead. Her fever was over. She was going to
be alright.
"Lan, did you leave my side at all?"
He shook his head. She smiled and crocked a finger at him.
He leaned closer to her. "Are you going to kiss me or not?"
And of course, he did.
How was that for ya?