Title: Fundraisers for a Good Cause
Author: KiwiDragon
Rating: G
Pairings: none!! *sigh*
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling and WB do. This was just for fun and the enjoyment of others. I really don't own much of anything, so please don't sue me, unless you want my lucky rock?
Please review!
Fundraisers for a Good Cause
By KiwiDragon
//pan into a room full of wizards and witches. There is a podium on the stage infront of them and the room is buzzing with impatience. Suddenly, a 15 yr. old witch in bright, kiwi-green robes walks to the podium and the crowd cheers loudly. She hold up her hand to silence them and the room quiets. She clears her throat and begins//
Hello and welcome to the annual Wizards Help Agency Meeting!! Some of the wizards and witches in our magical world aren't perfect, like Gilderoy Lockhart, *blushes, then continues* in fact, some of them are so unperfect that no one will help them, but now I will!
Here are some of the fundraisers we at the WHA have come up with. You, my fellow witches and wizards, can help participate in to help our magical bretheren, even if you are one of the needy.
Our first idea is the "Help Marcus Flint get Braces" fund. Lord knows that a Quidditch capitain should have perfect teeth, just like Oliver Wood! *swoons*
Secondly, we want to "Help Draco Malfoy go to Hawaii to get a Tan". The boy is simply too pale, he could be mistaken for one of the Hogwarts ghosts one day if he doesn't color up!
Next, let's "Help Sirius Black get a Flea Collar and a Vet that won't give him to Azkaban" I know Mr. Black personally and he did NOT blow up Peter Pettigrew!! I'm not going to explain the vet and flea collar bit, *eyes Ministry officials* just help.
Ok honestly now, "Help Harry Potter get Contacts so his Glasses don't keep Breaking" is a VERY worthy cause. The boy breaks them when using Floo Powder, when encourntering Dangerous Muggles (his family), and when pulling various other stunts. Contacts would be so much easier! Trust me on this one Harry, I know.
"Help Seamus Finnegan get Speech Tapes so his Spells don't Explode in his Face" This fund was suggested by Mr. Argus Filch, Caretaker at Hogwarts, and Professer Flitwick, the Charms teacher at Hogwarts. No explanation needed.
Now I know we don't usually meddle in these type of thing, but honestly, the Boy who Lived will live a better life when we "Help Harry by sending the Dursley's off to Boot Camp in Antarctica"
"Help Ron Weasley get Anger Management classes" Sorry Weasley, but that temper will just not do.
"Help Professer Snape get some Sun" You look like you crawled out of a sewer for Christ's Sake!! You and Mr. Malfoy should accompany each other to a tropica climate!
The girl is so smart and charming*gags for a minute* she needs love too! So my friends, "Help Hermione Granger go to Bulgaria to see Viktor Krum" Even if he does have a unibrow and looks like a gorilla, it's her choice, not mine.
And last but certainly not least "Help Oliver Wood go to America to live with KiwiDragon forever!" Heh hehthis needs no explanation, it obvious that such a sexy beast needs a home and I am the perfect canidate!! He was the Keeper and the Capitain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, who couldn't love him?
Well, that raps up our fundraiser ideas for this year. Please support these worthy causes and help our magical friends throught their tough times. Thank you! //bows and marches offstage with Oliver Wood, who was generously donated by unknown persons//
~End~
*sobs* My very first work, I'm so proud! *pauses* wait, that's not the word..uh..anywhoo!! That's all for now, please review and be kind!
Bob: *sneers* They all think it sucks!!
KiwiDragon: *sniffles* PLEASE REVIEW!!!